(no subject)
Title: Happiness
Fandom: Clover
Pairings: Kazuhiko/Oruha, Gingetsu/Ran
Genre: Serious
Word Count: 925
Notes: Christmas fic for mefiant, 2006. Big thanks to _leareth on the beta for this one. I would just like to apologise now for the fact that I've only read the TokyoPop translations (*shudder* note to self: get the japanese volumes) so there are no honorifics. And there may be name issues, though Oruha is Oruha.
Summary: Double date at Gingetsu's place.
“Sorry we’re late,” Kazuhiko said easily, leaning in the doorway. “Oruha got caught up at the club, it took longer to get away than we were expecting.”
Though his upper face was covered by the eye shield he always wore, Gingetsu still somehow managed to convey the impression of raising his eyebrows. “Are you sure it’s not because you can’t keep your hands off her?” he asked, and Kazuhiko grinned, shrugging self-deprecatingly.
“A gentleman never tells,” he said, a confirmation all by itself, and Gingetsu sighed quietly, Oruha winking at him over Kazuhiko’s shoulder. “And a gentleman doesn’t leave people on the doorstep, either. Are you going to let us in?”
“That assumes you’re a gentleman,” Gingetsu pointed out, deadpan, but he moved to let Kazuhiko past, allowing Oruha to pull him down so she could kiss his cheek. “Welcome in.”
Ran hovered uncertainly in Gingetsu’s shadow, and Kazuhiko raised a hand in greeting. “Ran, hey. You look bigger every time I see you, what’s Gingetsu been feeding you?”
“He’s just hit his growth spurt,” Gingetsu told him, and Ran said, “I’ll make some tea,” and left the room.
“You never did tell me how old he is, you know. Even if he is older than I thought the first time I saw him-- he shot up so fast, I guess puberty must have hit all at once, huh-- he’s still way too young for an old guy like you,” Kazuhiko said teasingly. “But hey, would I judge you?”
Gingetsu shrugged. “Probably,” he said, and Oruha’s laughter was beautiful and clear, tinkling like a bell. “You’d also be quick to make assumptions.”
Not that those assumptions were necessarily untrue; even Gingetsu found it difficult to define their relationship. Everything was complicated when it came to Ran.
~
It was only the second time they had met, but Oruha noticed that Ran was watching her again while she interacted with Kazuhiko, not so openly this time and more thoughtful and curious than scrutinising.
“Am I really so very fascinating?” she asked, when Gingetsu and Kazuhiko were distracted by talk of work. “You’ve been watching me again.”
“I’m sorry,” Ran said, quiet and awkward, but she smiled at him.
“I don’t mind,” she said kindly. “Is something bothering you?”
Ran hesitated. “Are you… happy?”
He reminded her of Suu, in a way, and her smile turned a little whimsical. “I am now,” she said serenely. “I’m in love.”
“Love,” he echoed, and his expression turned sad and pensive for a moment as he thought of A. “You love Kazuhiko.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “When I am with him, I am happy. Even if it is only for a short while… I will enjoy my happiness for as long as it lasts.”
Happiness was supposed to be unattainable for Clovers, but this One-leaf had found it, even if her particular happiness was fleeting.
“I understand,” Ran said gravely, who would rather age rapidly in freedom with Gingetsu than languish for an eternity in captivity with his brother, and Oruha tilted her head.
“Do you?” she said thoughtfully. “Have you ever felt what it’s like to love?”
Ran thought of A, who would kill anyone he suspected Ran of loving more than him; of Gingetsu, who he couldn’t afford to love for both of their sakes.
“I don’t know,” he said, deeply unsettled, and Oruha let him go with a knowing look in her eyes.
~
“You know, Oruha,” Kazuhiko said conversationally, “Gingetsu tells me that the first time Ran heard you sing, he thought your voice was beautiful.”
Oruha turned to Ran, smiling brightly. “Thank you,” she told him, curls spilling to the side when she inclined her head. “You should come to one of my shows with Kazuhiko and Gingetsu some day.”
“I can’t,” Ran said, with no hesitation or flicker of eyes towards Gingetsu. “I’m sorry. But I am grateful for the offer.”
He offered no explanation, and after a moment Oruha nodded, not seeking one.
“Then let me sing for you here, instead,” she suggested, and Ran blinked, surprised but pleasantly so.
“Please,” he said politely. “I would like that.”
Oruha was happy when she sang, just as she was happy when she was with Kazuhiko, and the joy shone through her voice, enriching the beauty of the melody. The three men, or perhaps the two men and the boy-- or even, she thought, the two boys and Gingetsu; Kazuhiko may have been older than Ran, but he was much less mature-- sat and listened in attentive, enraptured silence.
When the last notes of ‘Clover’ faded away, Kazuhiko applauding and pulling Oruha down into his lap to nuzzle at her neck, it was Ran and Gingetsu she watched, the stoic man sitting by the shy boy. Gingetsu was wearing the expression closest to a smile that Oruha had ever seen on his face; Ran was watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite read.
“Thank you,” he said, very sincerely, Oruha shook her head, ringlets bouncing gently.
"I love singing," she told him, and then she laughed, the solemn mood broken.
~
“She was happy,” Ran said when Oruha died, and Gingetsu answered, “Ryuu loved her.”
Gingetsu looked very tired. Kazuhiko’s pain was his pain.
“She loved Kazuhiko,” Ran added, resting his forehead against Gingetsu’s shoulders. “And she was happy.”
How can you be happy without me?
“Yes,” Gingetsu agreed, leaning back into Ran lightly, and Ran tried not to think about love or happiness, tried not to feel anything that would upset A. “I know.”