Day 1
Dear Judah,
So, I'm getting older faster than my dreams are getting accomplished. And as for those Dreams, I don't even know what they are.
I know that too often, I allow myself to waste time living in the past. I'm pretty sick of that. I've allowed myself to spend the last few years living very selfishly. That is to say, I've stayed in the same spot; simply survived on minimum wage work. Never progressing to the next steps of Life, Responsibility. The energy that should have been spent on Education or Craft was spent keeping me stoned and self loathing. I still self loathe. That's another story.
I'm facing some problems with the law, as a result of my selfish recreational activities. I let my guard down in the weeks prior to my being served, and I have yet to feel like I'm on full alert. I need to get myself back on track and protecting myself and my best interests. once I get past this, I need to really get on the ball with what I'm going to do with myself work-wise. I don't know why I can't decide. I don't want to be this person, stuck here in this town letting my life pass by. Don't mistake this for complaining. It's just statement of fact. I want, to -want-, to be a better person. Or rather, to live up to my own standards. I'm too old to still be in the situation I'm in.
Since high school, I've spent five out of seven nights worrying about death. Taking my faith into account only complicates my fear of mortality. But the way I live is hypocritical to my fears. because I don't really live. I simply exist.
It's time to stand up and take control of my life somehow. Time to go write my life's story while I'm still young. Failure terrifies Me, but I already have regrets, and if I don't change my ways soon, I'm gonna have a lot more.
Come On Kid. Learn How to Swim.
So, I'm getting older faster than my dreams are getting accomplished. And as for those Dreams, I don't even know what they are.
I know that too often, I allow myself to waste time living in the past. I'm pretty sick of that. I've allowed myself to spend the last few years living very selfishly. That is to say, I've stayed in the same spot; simply survived on minimum wage work. Never progressing to the next steps of Life, Responsibility. The energy that should have been spent on Education or Craft was spent keeping me stoned and self loathing. I still self loathe. That's another story.
I'm facing some problems with the law, as a result of my selfish recreational activities. I let my guard down in the weeks prior to my being served, and I have yet to feel like I'm on full alert. I need to get myself back on track and protecting myself and my best interests. once I get past this, I need to really get on the ball with what I'm going to do with myself work-wise. I don't know why I can't decide. I don't want to be this person, stuck here in this town letting my life pass by. Don't mistake this for complaining. It's just statement of fact. I want, to -want-, to be a better person. Or rather, to live up to my own standards. I'm too old to still be in the situation I'm in.
Since high school, I've spent five out of seven nights worrying about death. Taking my faith into account only complicates my fear of mortality. But the way I live is hypocritical to my fears. because I don't really live. I simply exist.
It's time to stand up and take control of my life somehow. Time to go write my life's story while I'm still young. Failure terrifies Me, but I already have regrets, and if I don't change my ways soon, I'm gonna have a lot more.
Come On Kid. Learn How to Swim.