*sigh*
And now I've lost the one guy I thought I was meant to be with. The one guy I've loved since I was 5 years old. And he doesn't give a fuck.. Jesus. When am I gonna learn that love is fake? I'm never gonna have anything that good. When am I gonna snap back to reality?
You'd think I would've learned last time. Last time I thought I was in love.. I should've learned from the way it ended up. Should've known it wouldn't be any different this time.
I'm just setting myself up for pain. I don't know why I do it. I hate it. You know, it'd make it a little better if he at least cared a little bit. Just a little.
So much for trying to be happy from now on. God, I need something positive. If I don't have anything to keep me going, I'll start hurting myself again. I don't want that.
I wish I had a shoulder to cry on. A friend who would tell me it'd be okay to my face. Someone who actually means it. Not just bullshitting it to make me feel better.
I hate myself.
You'd think I would've learned last time. Last time I thought I was in love.. I should've learned from the way it ended up. Should've known it wouldn't be any different this time.
I'm just setting myself up for pain. I don't know why I do it. I hate it. You know, it'd make it a little better if he at least cared a little bit. Just a little.
So much for trying to be happy from now on. God, I need something positive. If I don't have anything to keep me going, I'll start hurting myself again. I don't want that.
I wish I had a shoulder to cry on. A friend who would tell me it'd be okay to my face. Someone who actually means it. Not just bullshitting it to make me feel better.
I hate myself.