(no subject)
i need a song. a good song. i need a good song that i can relate to. i need a song that understands my feelings, even though i do not, i want it to tell me how im feeling, or even what im feeling. im afraid im turning numb, but im also afraid im turning too sensitive. im afraid im starting to detatch myself from this place and memories, but im also afraid that im going to miss all of it. im scared that people will forget me, no matter how much they say they wont, and im afraid that i will lose touch with them, even though i promised i wouldn't. I dont know whats going to happen and i dont know what im doing. i hope that everything will somehow work out in the end and i will be happy- thats all i ask for. i need something-i need comfort. Comfort to me is waking up in my bed thats in the same house that i have been waking up in for the past 18 years of my life. comfort is walking outside into my neighborhood and knowing everybody. comfort to me is having all of my dearest friends within a 10 mile radius. my life is comfortable. im happy with it. i dont understand why things change once you become the happiest. i just hope that everything around me, all of my comfort, has built me into a strong enough person so that i can 'survive' being 8 hours away. i hope that the people and places around me has made me tough enough so that i can handle anything that comes my way. i hope i can do it.
on a different note- i love syd more than anything
on a different note- i love syd more than anything