Definitely, Totally
Title: Definitely, Totally
Pairings: Santana/Rachel, Quinn/Rachel, Santana/Quinn, Santana/Rachel/Quinn. Mentions: Santana/Brittany, Brittany/Mike, Santana/Puck, Quinn/Puck, Rachel/Finn, [highlight for Back 9 spoilers: Rachel/Jesse St. James]
Rating: Light R
Length: ~2,300
Summary: Santana and Quinn find out they have something in common.
Author's Note: This is kind of really cracktastic. I think I had a lot of cold medicine in my system when I wrote it. Hardly anyone is in character and the entire thing is completely and totally just...I don't even know. I don't take it seriously, at all.
When Quinn walked into school the Monday after Christmas break of her junior year she was positively glowing. She had a smile on and she brightly said hello to everyone she met in the hallway, even those that had made fun of her the previous year after she got pregnant. But Quinn didn’t care. Her Christmas break had been absolutely fantastic. Extremely unexpected, but wonderful. You see, Quinn had a crush for quite a while. A crush that no one would have guessed about. And over Christmas break she had talked to said crush and her crush had admitted to having feelings back for quite some time. And to Quinn’s surprise, it hadn’t taken much to get her crush in bed which is where they stayed almost all break. However, because her crush was unsure about letting the entire school know of their relationship it was agreed that the pair would keep it a secret. Quinn was just fine with that because she wasn’t sure she wanted the drama, either.
The blonde went through her locker, smile still stuck on her face, when she was approached by Santana (not so surprisingly sans Brittany after the pair had a huge fight over the summer when Santana was caught with a still un-named other person). The Latina tapped Quinn on the shoulder and the blonde turned around with a huge smile.
“Hey Santana! How was California?”
“Great!” Santana answered brightly.
Shockingly, after the fallout with Brittany, Santana had not only not turned into a psychotic bitch but she had actually become quite a pleasurable person (when she wasn’t captaining the Cheerios). Everyone assumed that it was because the mystery person and she were still going strong. And they were right. However, Santana’s mystery person had said they weren’t ready to divulge their relationship just yet and Santana agreed that she wanted to keep her personal life out of the public eye. So the pair agreed that it would be kept under wraps.
“That’s really good to hear!” Quinn was still smiling as she shut her locker and she and Santana headed to their first class, side-by-side.
“What has you so chipper, Blondie?”
“Oh, nothing,” Quinn said lightly. “I just had a really good break.”
“Good,” Santana said. “I was kind of worried about you for a while, you know? After you gave the baby up and everything.”
“It’s what was best. I have…something else to occupy my time with.”
“Spill it, Fabray! Who’d you hook up with?”
Quinn grinned and her eyes darted around the halls. “I can’t tell you.”
“Come on, Q, we used to tell each other everything.”
“You never told me who your mystery person was, why should I tell you mine?”
Santana dragged Quinn into an empty classroom and shut the door behind them.
“You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine,” the Latina bargained. “Come on, there hasn’t been any good gossip since last year.”
“You’ll hate me.”
“No I won’t!”
“Fine,” Quinn sighed. “But you have to swear you won’t laugh at me and you cannot tell anyone, got it?”
“Got it.” Santana smiled.
“It’s…Rachel.”
The smile on Santana’s face dropped and she blinked a few times. “You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
“Come on, S, it’s not that-”
“I swear to God, Fabray that you had better be fucking kidding me.”
“She’s a nice person! And a really good kisser.” Quinn grinned. “And not bad in bed, either.”
Santana turned bright red and growled. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”
Quinn’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Santana! What is wrong with you?!”
“What’s wrong with me?! Did you even think to ask Berry if she was seeing anyone you girlfriend stealing slut?! God! First you take Puck and now you have to get into Rachel’s skirt?! What the hell is wrong with you, Quinn?!”
There was a deafening silence as Quinn attempted to process what Santana had just said but her train of thought was interrupted when students started filing into the classroom. Santana grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room, Quinn on her heels.
“Santana, wait! What the hell?!”
“Get away from me, Fabray.”
“Talk to me!”
Santana whipped around, there were tears streaming down her face and Quinn jumped back a little.
“How could she do this to me?” Santana hissed.
“Rachel’s the one you’ve been dating?”
“Welcome to the conversation, Tubbers! Yes! Rachel’s my ‘mystery person’ and she’s a fucking cheater!”
“She…she never said anything…”
“Quinn! Santana!” a shrill voice down the hall caused both girls to look in the direction of a short brunette who was literally skipping toward them.
“Welcome back! I hope you both found your holiday breaks satisfactory! If you remember correctly, Mr. Schuester assigned each of us the task of getting together a list of songs that we could potentially perform at Regionals. I expect you both completed your assignments?”
Rachel really never had any intention of hurting either girl. She also never had any intention of the two of them finding out about each other. She was very torn between the pair. She’d had a crush on Quinn since before high school but then when Santana approached her at Puck’s Fourth of July party, slightly tipsy, and pulled her upstairs…well…she went with it. She didn’t know if she would ever get Quinn and Santana seemed to want her quite a bit so she gave in. It was an amazing experience, nothing like what she’d had with Jesse or Finn. Santana, although intoxicated, was shockingly gentle and focused on what she’d wanted, not just getting herself off. It was perfect until Brittany stumbled in on them. There, of course, was fallout between the pair and Brittany was left heartbroken.
Three weeks later when it became known that the blonde was going steady with Mike Chang, Santana showed up at Rachel’s door with a dozen pink roses and she begged the short brunette for a chance. Rachel obliged but under the circumstance that no one know. Not because she was embarrassed by Santana but because she was already made fun of for her two dads and she didn’t need to add to that and she genuinely cared about Santana and didn’t want any drama. Slowly, her crush on Quinn dissipated and Rachel focused wholly on the Latina and things were perfect. Until Quinn knocked on her door the first day of their winter break.
Rachel instructed the blonde to follow her up to her room and she shut the door quietly. When she turned around she was met with a passionate kiss and because it was unexpected, she kissed back. When Quinn pulled away she was smiling. She admitted that she had a crush on Rachel and the brunette suddenly felt every ounce of feeling she ever had for Quinn come right back to her. She thought maybe it was just a phase and just something she needed to figure out. So she slept with Quinn throughout break while Santana was in California. By the end of the break Rachel had determined that it wasn’t a phase and she was in big trouble. So she devised a plan. She would date both girls separately until she figured out which one she liked more. Once that was determined she would end things with one and everything would be perfect. And then she saw the pair talking to each other in the hallway on her way to class and she had a horrible feeling in her stomach that she was the topic of discussion. She tried to play it cool. It didn’t work.
“Rachel,” Quinn growled. “We need to talk.”
“We really need to talk,” Santana echoed.
Before Rachel could respond each girl had grabbed a hold of one of her arms and they were dragging her through the hallway until they ended up in the choir room. Rachel was dropped to a chair while Quinn and Santana locked the exits and returned back to her. They stood in front of the small brunette and both took the same stance, arms crossed over the chest looking down at her.
“Spill it, Rachel,” Santana growled. “What the fuck were you doing sleeping with Tubbers over break?”
“And why didn’t you tell me you were dating Santana?!”
Rachel opened and closed her mouth a few times but nothing came out except a very small, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?!” Santana yelled. “You’re sorry?! That’s it?! We’ve been together since July and you throw it away on this tramp and you’re just sorry?”
Quinn turned to face Santana and poked her in the shoulder. “Would you stop calling me names, S?! I’m not the one to blame here! And it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. She’s liked me since eighth grade!”
Santana turned and narrowed her eyes. “Fuck you, Fabray! It doesn’t matter two shits if she liked you longer, I’ve had more time with her!”
“Screw you! Rachel and I have something special!”
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass!”
“Bring it on!”
“Ladies!” Rachel shrieked. “Calm down! I…I’m so sorry for hurting you. I just…I thought I could decide after some time with both of you and now I know I can’t. I can’t choose. I’m sorry…it’s over. With both of you.” Rachel sniffled and wiped the tears that had escaped her eyes before she gathered her things and went to the doors. It took a few seconds for her to jiggle the lock open but once she did she ran out of the room.
“Damn,” Santana mumbled as she dropped into a chair. “This sucks.”
“Yeah,” Quinn echoed her sentiments. She dropped into another empty chair and sighed. “I can’t believe that just happened.”
“I know, right? Who would have thought we’d be fighting over Berry.”
“Anyone that’s ever slept with her would believe it.”
“God, I know!” Santana grinned. “That thing she did with her tongue, you know, where she-”
“I know exactly what you’re talking about! When she curled it and then hummed, right?”
“Yes! And I am so sorry we ever called her ‘Man Hands’. Did she ever do that thing where you’re on your stomach and-”
“The fifth time we were together. I had to hold a pillow over my face and even then I think her dads heard.”
“I love it when she swore like a sailor.”
Quinn giggled. “That was so hot. When she was right on the edge…”
“Then you stopped and made her mad…”
“And she’d yell out…”
“’Goddammit! Just fucking do it already!’”
Quinn and Santana both started giggling and Quinn ended up with her head on Santana’s shoulder, sighing.
“And she’d call you beautiful,” the blonde whispered.
“And tell you she wished it would never end.”
“She Bedazzled my phone.”
“She painted gold stars on my ceiling.”
“I’m really turned on right now,” Quinn admitted.
Quinn glanced toward the music supply room and Santana grabbed her hand and dragged her to it. There were teeth, and lips and tongues and hands and Quinn had to shove her hand against Santana’s mouth as the Latina called out and Santana had to do the same to the blonde.
“I kind of love her,” Quinn said when she’d regained enough consciousness to speak.
“Me too.”
“Do you think…what if we made it work? All three of us. You love her and I love her and she loves both of us and we tolerate each other. We could make it work.”
Santana pulled away and stared down into Quinn’s hopeful eyes. “I don’t know, that’s kind of…weird.”
“It’s the only way either one of us will ever have her.”
“I…You know what?” Santana nodded furiously. “Fuck it. Let’s do it. You, me, and Berry. There have to be rules. Like it’s either all of us or none of us in bed.”
“Unless someone doesn’t feel like it. But the third has to know about.”
“Gifts have to be equal.”
“Deal.”
Mr. Schuester went home with the flu that afternoon, the announcements said and glee club practice was canceled. This was good news for Quinn and Santana who left immediately to go shopping. They divided a dozen pink roses and showed up at Rachel’s house. They heard her singing scales before they got to the door and both girls smirked before they knocked. The scales stopped and Rachel flung open the door.
“What…what are you doing?” Rachel said, eyebrows arched.
“Here’s the deal, Berry,” Santana started. “We love you, you love us, Quinn and I tolerate each other. We can make this work.”
“This…?”
“Us,” Santana said. “The three of us. Lesbian power trio or whatever.”
“We’ve already agreed upon a few rules,” Quinn added. “It will all be equal.”
“I…I don’t know. You and Quinn…you might not have the proper chemistry and-”
“We have chemistry. Blondie and I did it in the music storage room after you left. Trust me, there’s chemistry.”
Rachel turned bright red and her mouth curved into a devious smile. “You two…”
“I think we ruined the sheet music for ‘Bust a Move’,” Quinn said with a smirk.
“Come on, Berry, what do you say?”
Santana and Quinn thrust out the flowers and Rachel shifted from one foot to the other, mind racing.
“I say get up to my room, right now.”
Two hours later the trio was a pile of bodies on Rachel’s bed snuggled together with Rachel in the middle, Santana on her left and Quinn on her right. Rachel couldn’t feel her legs.
“I think,” Rachel sighed, “that this is the start of something fucking amazing.”
Both Santana and Quinn giggled and reached up to kiss either side of Rachel’s neck.
“Definitely,” Quinn mumbled.
“Totally.”
When the trio walked through the halls of McKinley high the next day all three of them were absolutely glowing.
Pairings: Santana/Rachel, Quinn/Rachel, Santana/Quinn, Santana/Rachel/Quinn. Mentions: Santana/Brittany, Brittany/Mike, Santana/Puck, Quinn/Puck, Rachel/Finn, [highlight for Back 9 spoilers: Rachel/Jesse St. James]
Rating: Light R
Length: ~2,300
Summary: Santana and Quinn find out they have something in common.
Author's Note: This is kind of really cracktastic. I think I had a lot of cold medicine in my system when I wrote it. Hardly anyone is in character and the entire thing is completely and totally just...I don't even know. I don't take it seriously, at all.
When Quinn walked into school the Monday after Christmas break of her junior year she was positively glowing. She had a smile on and she brightly said hello to everyone she met in the hallway, even those that had made fun of her the previous year after she got pregnant. But Quinn didn’t care. Her Christmas break had been absolutely fantastic. Extremely unexpected, but wonderful. You see, Quinn had a crush for quite a while. A crush that no one would have guessed about. And over Christmas break she had talked to said crush and her crush had admitted to having feelings back for quite some time. And to Quinn’s surprise, it hadn’t taken much to get her crush in bed which is where they stayed almost all break. However, because her crush was unsure about letting the entire school know of their relationship it was agreed that the pair would keep it a secret. Quinn was just fine with that because she wasn’t sure she wanted the drama, either.
The blonde went through her locker, smile still stuck on her face, when she was approached by Santana (not so surprisingly sans Brittany after the pair had a huge fight over the summer when Santana was caught with a still un-named other person). The Latina tapped Quinn on the shoulder and the blonde turned around with a huge smile.
“Hey Santana! How was California?”
“Great!” Santana answered brightly.
Shockingly, after the fallout with Brittany, Santana had not only not turned into a psychotic bitch but she had actually become quite a pleasurable person (when she wasn’t captaining the Cheerios). Everyone assumed that it was because the mystery person and she were still going strong. And they were right. However, Santana’s mystery person had said they weren’t ready to divulge their relationship just yet and Santana agreed that she wanted to keep her personal life out of the public eye. So the pair agreed that it would be kept under wraps.
“That’s really good to hear!” Quinn was still smiling as she shut her locker and she and Santana headed to their first class, side-by-side.
“What has you so chipper, Blondie?”
“Oh, nothing,” Quinn said lightly. “I just had a really good break.”
“Good,” Santana said. “I was kind of worried about you for a while, you know? After you gave the baby up and everything.”
“It’s what was best. I have…something else to occupy my time with.”
“Spill it, Fabray! Who’d you hook up with?”
Quinn grinned and her eyes darted around the halls. “I can’t tell you.”
“Come on, Q, we used to tell each other everything.”
“You never told me who your mystery person was, why should I tell you mine?”
Santana dragged Quinn into an empty classroom and shut the door behind them.
“You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine,” the Latina bargained. “Come on, there hasn’t been any good gossip since last year.”
“You’ll hate me.”
“No I won’t!”
“Fine,” Quinn sighed. “But you have to swear you won’t laugh at me and you cannot tell anyone, got it?”
“Got it.” Santana smiled.
“It’s…Rachel.”
The smile on Santana’s face dropped and she blinked a few times. “You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
“Come on, S, it’s not that-”
“I swear to God, Fabray that you had better be fucking kidding me.”
“She’s a nice person! And a really good kisser.” Quinn grinned. “And not bad in bed, either.”
Santana turned bright red and growled. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”
Quinn’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “Santana! What is wrong with you?!”
“What’s wrong with me?! Did you even think to ask Berry if she was seeing anyone you girlfriend stealing slut?! God! First you take Puck and now you have to get into Rachel’s skirt?! What the hell is wrong with you, Quinn?!”
There was a deafening silence as Quinn attempted to process what Santana had just said but her train of thought was interrupted when students started filing into the classroom. Santana grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room, Quinn on her heels.
“Santana, wait! What the hell?!”
“Get away from me, Fabray.”
“Talk to me!”
Santana whipped around, there were tears streaming down her face and Quinn jumped back a little.
“How could she do this to me?” Santana hissed.
“Rachel’s the one you’ve been dating?”
“Welcome to the conversation, Tubbers! Yes! Rachel’s my ‘mystery person’ and she’s a fucking cheater!”
“She…she never said anything…”
“Quinn! Santana!” a shrill voice down the hall caused both girls to look in the direction of a short brunette who was literally skipping toward them.
“Welcome back! I hope you both found your holiday breaks satisfactory! If you remember correctly, Mr. Schuester assigned each of us the task of getting together a list of songs that we could potentially perform at Regionals. I expect you both completed your assignments?”
Rachel really never had any intention of hurting either girl. She also never had any intention of the two of them finding out about each other. She was very torn between the pair. She’d had a crush on Quinn since before high school but then when Santana approached her at Puck’s Fourth of July party, slightly tipsy, and pulled her upstairs…well…she went with it. She didn’t know if she would ever get Quinn and Santana seemed to want her quite a bit so she gave in. It was an amazing experience, nothing like what she’d had with Jesse or Finn. Santana, although intoxicated, was shockingly gentle and focused on what she’d wanted, not just getting herself off. It was perfect until Brittany stumbled in on them. There, of course, was fallout between the pair and Brittany was left heartbroken.
Three weeks later when it became known that the blonde was going steady with Mike Chang, Santana showed up at Rachel’s door with a dozen pink roses and she begged the short brunette for a chance. Rachel obliged but under the circumstance that no one know. Not because she was embarrassed by Santana but because she was already made fun of for her two dads and she didn’t need to add to that and she genuinely cared about Santana and didn’t want any drama. Slowly, her crush on Quinn dissipated and Rachel focused wholly on the Latina and things were perfect. Until Quinn knocked on her door the first day of their winter break.
Rachel instructed the blonde to follow her up to her room and she shut the door quietly. When she turned around she was met with a passionate kiss and because it was unexpected, she kissed back. When Quinn pulled away she was smiling. She admitted that she had a crush on Rachel and the brunette suddenly felt every ounce of feeling she ever had for Quinn come right back to her. She thought maybe it was just a phase and just something she needed to figure out. So she slept with Quinn throughout break while Santana was in California. By the end of the break Rachel had determined that it wasn’t a phase and she was in big trouble. So she devised a plan. She would date both girls separately until she figured out which one she liked more. Once that was determined she would end things with one and everything would be perfect. And then she saw the pair talking to each other in the hallway on her way to class and she had a horrible feeling in her stomach that she was the topic of discussion. She tried to play it cool. It didn’t work.
“Rachel,” Quinn growled. “We need to talk.”
“We really need to talk,” Santana echoed.
Before Rachel could respond each girl had grabbed a hold of one of her arms and they were dragging her through the hallway until they ended up in the choir room. Rachel was dropped to a chair while Quinn and Santana locked the exits and returned back to her. They stood in front of the small brunette and both took the same stance, arms crossed over the chest looking down at her.
“Spill it, Rachel,” Santana growled. “What the fuck were you doing sleeping with Tubbers over break?”
“And why didn’t you tell me you were dating Santana?!”
Rachel opened and closed her mouth a few times but nothing came out except a very small, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?!” Santana yelled. “You’re sorry?! That’s it?! We’ve been together since July and you throw it away on this tramp and you’re just sorry?”
Quinn turned to face Santana and poked her in the shoulder. “Would you stop calling me names, S?! I’m not the one to blame here! And it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together. She’s liked me since eighth grade!”
Santana turned and narrowed her eyes. “Fuck you, Fabray! It doesn’t matter two shits if she liked you longer, I’ve had more time with her!”
“Screw you! Rachel and I have something special!”
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass!”
“Bring it on!”
“Ladies!” Rachel shrieked. “Calm down! I…I’m so sorry for hurting you. I just…I thought I could decide after some time with both of you and now I know I can’t. I can’t choose. I’m sorry…it’s over. With both of you.” Rachel sniffled and wiped the tears that had escaped her eyes before she gathered her things and went to the doors. It took a few seconds for her to jiggle the lock open but once she did she ran out of the room.
“Damn,” Santana mumbled as she dropped into a chair. “This sucks.”
“Yeah,” Quinn echoed her sentiments. She dropped into another empty chair and sighed. “I can’t believe that just happened.”
“I know, right? Who would have thought we’d be fighting over Berry.”
“Anyone that’s ever slept with her would believe it.”
“God, I know!” Santana grinned. “That thing she did with her tongue, you know, where she-”
“I know exactly what you’re talking about! When she curled it and then hummed, right?”
“Yes! And I am so sorry we ever called her ‘Man Hands’. Did she ever do that thing where you’re on your stomach and-”
“The fifth time we were together. I had to hold a pillow over my face and even then I think her dads heard.”
“I love it when she swore like a sailor.”
Quinn giggled. “That was so hot. When she was right on the edge…”
“Then you stopped and made her mad…”
“And she’d yell out…”
“’Goddammit! Just fucking do it already!’”
Quinn and Santana both started giggling and Quinn ended up with her head on Santana’s shoulder, sighing.
“And she’d call you beautiful,” the blonde whispered.
“And tell you she wished it would never end.”
“She Bedazzled my phone.”
“She painted gold stars on my ceiling.”
“I’m really turned on right now,” Quinn admitted.
Quinn glanced toward the music supply room and Santana grabbed her hand and dragged her to it. There were teeth, and lips and tongues and hands and Quinn had to shove her hand against Santana’s mouth as the Latina called out and Santana had to do the same to the blonde.
“I kind of love her,” Quinn said when she’d regained enough consciousness to speak.
“Me too.”
“Do you think…what if we made it work? All three of us. You love her and I love her and she loves both of us and we tolerate each other. We could make it work.”
Santana pulled away and stared down into Quinn’s hopeful eyes. “I don’t know, that’s kind of…weird.”
“It’s the only way either one of us will ever have her.”
“I…You know what?” Santana nodded furiously. “Fuck it. Let’s do it. You, me, and Berry. There have to be rules. Like it’s either all of us or none of us in bed.”
“Unless someone doesn’t feel like it. But the third has to know about.”
“Gifts have to be equal.”
“Deal.”
Mr. Schuester went home with the flu that afternoon, the announcements said and glee club practice was canceled. This was good news for Quinn and Santana who left immediately to go shopping. They divided a dozen pink roses and showed up at Rachel’s house. They heard her singing scales before they got to the door and both girls smirked before they knocked. The scales stopped and Rachel flung open the door.
“What…what are you doing?” Rachel said, eyebrows arched.
“Here’s the deal, Berry,” Santana started. “We love you, you love us, Quinn and I tolerate each other. We can make this work.”
“This…?”
“Us,” Santana said. “The three of us. Lesbian power trio or whatever.”
“We’ve already agreed upon a few rules,” Quinn added. “It will all be equal.”
“I…I don’t know. You and Quinn…you might not have the proper chemistry and-”
“We have chemistry. Blondie and I did it in the music storage room after you left. Trust me, there’s chemistry.”
Rachel turned bright red and her mouth curved into a devious smile. “You two…”
“I think we ruined the sheet music for ‘Bust a Move’,” Quinn said with a smirk.
“Come on, Berry, what do you say?”
Santana and Quinn thrust out the flowers and Rachel shifted from one foot to the other, mind racing.
“I say get up to my room, right now.”
Two hours later the trio was a pile of bodies on Rachel’s bed snuggled together with Rachel in the middle, Santana on her left and Quinn on her right. Rachel couldn’t feel her legs.
“I think,” Rachel sighed, “that this is the start of something fucking amazing.”
Both Santana and Quinn giggled and reached up to kiss either side of Rachel’s neck.
“Definitely,” Quinn mumbled.
“Totally.”
When the trio walked through the halls of McKinley high the next day all three of them were absolutely glowing.