ALTernative ConTRoL 3/4
ALTernative ConTRoL 3/4
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Words: 3,900
Disclaimer: If they really were working covert operations, I'm sure they wouldn't tell about it. ...and I borrowed Adam from 24. ;)
Warnings: violence, slash, spies, soldiers, conspiracy, computer analyst!Jensen, agent!Jared, hurt/comfort, blood, sideline character death (not J2)
Master Post
Summary: When Jared first meets Jensen they seem to have nothing in common: one is a troubled teen trying to turn his life around, the other is too smart for his own good. A decade later they have become colleagues, friends, and more... until it all blew up in their faces. Jared doesn't believe there could be another chapter to their story. But when he's nearly killed during a sabotaged mission, he finds out that he probably hasn't seen the last of Jensen Ackles.
***
“You're a complete idiot, did you know that?” Jensen growled as he slapped the bandaid over the freshly cleaned cut on Jared's neck.
“Ouch... you really should work on your bedside manners.”
“Why? I'm no doctor,” he said while lifting Jared's arm to get to work on the next cut. Jumping through a window looked cool in the movies but they hardly ever considered that glass was freaking sharp.
“Obviously... You know that we have medics to take care of this, right?” Jared hissed as the disinfectant stung in his open wounds while Jensen dabbed away on them to remove any unwanted dirt.
“I do. But they would not make you regret your idiocy even half as much as I do.” The point was emphasized by another stinging dose of antiseptic.
“It's just a few shallow cuts, Jensen. You're acting like I jumped out of a chopper without a 'chute.”
“Which I know for a fact you’ve done before.”
Jared chuckled despite himself. “Only over water.”
“From a hundred feet above.”
“David did it too.”
“And if David was going to jump off a bridge, would you do the same?”
“If somebody was shooting at me...”
The slap to the back of his head didn't hurt and only resulted in Jared being unable to contain his laughter. He and Jensen argued half the time. But they never actually fought.
“You're impossible, do you know that? You should be more careful.”
“Sorry, mom,” Jared said with faked regret.
“I'm not your mom,” the younger man corrected him pouting.
“No, you're not. My mom couldn't care less where I jump.”
It was only a second before he realized what he had said. He could feel Jensen freeze next to him, acutely aware of the change in mood. They both fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment, before Jensen cleared his throat. He'd never been good at awkward silences.
“When'd you last talk to her?”
Of course Jensen also lacked a certain kind of introspection that would have lead other people to changing the subject.
“I sent a Christmas card.”
“By definition, talking includes the production of speech by tensing your vocal chords during a controlled exhale.”
Jared would have liked to shrug it off and say he didn't remember. But he did. “March last year. My aunt died. I went to the funeral.”
“That was eleven months ago, Jared.”
“You've always been good at math,” Jared answered dryly.
“Why don't you call her? If I don't call my mother for a week, she sends Josh after me. I think being in the military is like being a labrador... it makes him good at retrieving stuff.” Jensen liked making fun of Josh's orderly ways.
“Your folks are different... She didn't send me a Christmas card.”
“Oh.” Jensen frowned obviously straining himself as he considered what might be the socially proper answer to that. When he huffed out a frustrated sigh and gave Jared an insecure look, the man only shrugged.
“What, Jensen?”
“Did you check if something happened to her?”
Laughing Jared shook his head. “Nothing happened to her. She just doesn't care.”
“Is this the moment that I pat your shoulder, say 'there there' and offer you a hug?”
Rolling his eyes, Jared reached out to grab the collar of Jensen's shirt and pull him down, planting a kiss on the other man's lips. For a second or two Jensen complied, then he pushed away from Jared with a sudden shove.
“What are you doing?” His green eyes were wide, his face flushed.
“Damn. I would have thought that being a freaking genius meant you didn't need the speech about the birds and the bees...” Jared grinned at him cheekily grabbing for the bandaids in Jensen's hands. The younger man pulled his hands away quickly as if afraid Jared would try to pull him in again.
“My parents never tried that kind of metaphor with me. I think they gave up on such infantilisms after the Easter bunny disaster,” Jensen explained with a stern frown that made him look more like a pouting kid than an angry man.
Jared bit his lip. “You know that being so damn cute really doesn't help your agenda here... unless you are trying to make me jump you.”
“Jared!”
“What? You didn't mind last weekend.”
“Yes but... not here.” Jensen's eyes darted to the closed door as if he were expecting someone to barge in any second.
“Why not?” Jared sighed crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“Because we work together.” Jared was used to the I-am-surrounded-by-idiots expression Jensen sometimes got. But it hadn't annoyed him so much in a long time.
“We don't. I work out there with a gun in hand; you work in here behind a computer.”
“It's one agency,” Jensen stressed.
“It's not against the rules.”
“How would you know? You didn't read the rules.” Jensen was only half right. Jared had read the rules, but only those concerning field protocol.
“But I know you did... and you wouldn't break the rules, because despite being a complete slob - and don't you try denying it! I saw your stash of dirty clothes behind the couch. - you are still an Ackles.”
Jensen glared at him but didn't try to deny it. “It would still be inappropriate to be caught making out at work.”
“My shift is over,” Jared noted with a glance at his watch. He suddenly noticed how acutely tired he felt now that the last adrenaline of his mission had left him. “I just wanted a kiss before you send me home... I'm sick of sneaking around.”
Jensen shuffled his feet nervously. “We don't sneak around.”
“Yes, we do. If we could tell your family...”
“No!” Jensen wasn't very adamant about many things - other than being right all the time. He usually was, so Jared gave him that one without much complaint - but he was very adamant about this.
“I know you're nervous, Jensen... But we could make a trial run: Let's tell Josh and see what happens. If we have him on our side nothing bad can happen.”
“I don't know...” Jensen sighed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other restlessly. “Can I think about it?”
Jared was too tired to launch another attack on Jensen's resolve. Instead he just shrugged, getting up and stealing another quick peck on the lips from Jensen before grabbing his jacket and heading home for some much needed sleep.
Jared grabbed an extra magazine for his semiautomatic and clipped it to his belt. The com-line crackled as the frequency adjusted, establishing direct contact between tactical and systems. He checked the battery on his devices, satisfied that everything was fully charged.
The weight of the Kevlar vest was as familiar to Jared as a favorite sweater. It was adjusted to sit tightly around his body, and he always felt safer this way, bolder. Jensen once called it the idiot-vest because Jared tended to do stupid things when wearing body armor. Or maybe he wore body armor when intending to do stupid things... chicken, egg, do the math.
They went through protocol. Watches were synchronized, and each team member checked in through their earbuds to make sure communication was established properly. When they were done, when the guns were loaded, and the boots were tied, when the kevlar was pulled tight, and the stun grenades belted... they waited.
It felt like forever, but when the call finally came in, it was barely an hour after they had started prepping for the field.
“Jared, it's Adam. I think we got something. The code was an IP address that we could trace. I am uploading the location it was last locked in onto your pads.”
Jared's heart skipped into a jog. This had to be it. It had to, because Jensen was running out of time, he could feel it. “Do we have the go?”
Jim's voice sounded loud and clear in his ear, the man's voice deeper and more gravelly than their computer analyst's. “Go! The chopper's gassed up and waiting for your lazy asses.”
“Are you insane? I could lose my job over this. There's protocols... and I would break several of them.”
“Do you know how many protocols I've broken on my missions? They don't care as long as nobody gets hurt, and the results match up.”
“You're a field operative, Jay. They cut you slack, because you're one of their best. But I'm a geek.”
“Maybe this is the time you can show that you're more than a drone then.”
“That's not fair.”
Jensen's arms were crossed over his stomach, making him look defensive and uncomfortable. It made the agent feel like a bad person. Their relationship had been unexpected, and Jared hadn't known he wanted it, until one day it just happened. Jensen was weird about it at first, but he was always weird about things. That's just who he was, and Jared had long since known how to deal with it. But this was the first time Jensen had seemed uncomfortable around him.
“Look Jen, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't ask. I would do it myself, but I can't. I don't have the skills...”
“You mean you don't have the access codes,” Jensen snapped at him, harsher than Jared knew he could be. It rang like a slap in Jared's face. “Well, neither do I, Jay. So don't ask again.”
Jared backed off - literally - hands raised defensively as he took a few steps back to give the other man some space. “I know... and we also both know you don't need any access codes either. But you were right. I had no right to ask.”
Chewing his lip Jensen stared at him with that insecure look for a moment, and Jared was sure he would not like what he was about to hear.
“Is that why you're with me? For favors?”
“What?” Jared would have felt insulted if it weren't so insane to hear Jensen even consider this. “No. Jensen you know me. You're my friend as much as my boyfriend and I would never use you like that... I love you.” The last sentence was very quiet but the stricken look on Jensen's face made it unquestionably clear that he had heard. “I do and... I was asking a favor of my friend, because I think it's important. But I am not letting this have any influence on our relationship, so please just forget that I even asked. It was stupid of me and inconsiderate.”
He could see the hurt melt off Jensen's face during his declaration, and a weight lifted from Jared's chest. He dared take a few steps forward to run his palms over Jensen's crossed arms.
“I'm sorry.”
“How important?”
“What?” Jared had been so distracted by the fear of losing Jensen that his brain was unable to connect back to the beginning of their conversation.
“How important is it that you have this information?” There was a stubborn edge to the younger man's jaw that made Jared curious and wary
at the same time.
“I think it would crack this thing wide open, maybe save a lot of lives,” he answered hesitantly, shrugging awkwardly.
Jensen took a deep breath holding it foir a minute before he exhaled it in a sigh. He was looking at the five o'clock stubble on Jared's chin. “I'd say 'Get a warrant!' but we both know that would take forever.”
“I told you it's okay, Jensen. I'm sorry I asked, you don 't...”
“Give me two hours. I'll see what I can do.”
Jensen pulled away from him without locking eyes, but their hands slipped together for a moment, Jared's fingers squeezing Jensen's before the touch broke. He watched as Jensen walked away with quick, purposeful strides.
Jared knew they had to be at the right location when they spotted the first armed guard in the back alley of the building. The security on the place was tight, and it took them half an hour of staking it out to make sure they would be able to take out the guards and get inside effectively and not tip the people inside off immediately.
When they moved in, they did so quietly but quickly. The guards didn't even see them coming, before they were out of the game, and Jared entered the building leading one of the teams through a second floor window by the fire escape. They were combing through the building one by one, from the top down, while other teams were coming from the opposite direction after entering through a basement window. The upper floor was clean once the two guards by the main road window front were taken out, and Jared gave a silent sign to start climbing down.
Once at the bottom of the staircase to the first floor, all hell broke loose. There was no way of taking out all five men quietly, before they could sound the alarm. The first pop of gunfire broke the silence of their approach, and the shouting began. The racket of gunfire, and the bellow of voices shouting commands and warnings, made it nearly impossible for Jared to hear any of the commands coming through his comm unit. He shouted quite a bit himself to keep his team in formation and make the best of their chaotic approach.
“Team One, there's movement on the east corner of the first floor.”
He didn't know which of the scouts lying in the buildings across the street was talking, but he knew that they needed to move in now. They were approaching from the north end, and it would be unwise to let any of their opponent slip behind their back. Two of his team were slapping handcuffs on the men they had taken into custody and making sure they were unarmed when Jared gave a hand sign for them to follow him.
One steelcapped boot was sat in front of the other as quickly and quietly as possible, until they reached the only door leading to the east corner. Jared called a halt and put his rifle aside to pull out a semiautomatic handgun that left his other hand free to turn the doorknob. He traded looks with his men and counted down from three under his breath.
The knob turned and he pushed the door open. He was second through the door when he heard the shots go off. There were four of them, and the last two were unmistakably from their assault rifles, but the first two were less booming and sounded more like a handgun.
He stepped around the point man, whose rifle was smoking from the muzzle, and nearly stopped moving when he saw it. The room was bare but for a table with a computer on it that had cables trailing to different sockets in the walls, like veins exposed on a man's arm. The chair behind the computer was tipped over backwards, and there was still a man sprawled half in, half beside it. Jensen was pale, and his eyes were wide. There were two red spots on his shirt that extended like ink dripped onto blotting paper.
It took all of Jared's professionalism to pull himself away from the sight to sweep the room and make sure the perimeter was safely established before holstering his gun and dropping to his knees next to Jensen.
“This is Team One. We found him. We need medical assistance immediately.” He repeated his request and registered the crackling confirmation, while he pressed his hands tightly against the gunshot wounds in Jensen's chest. The pain of pressure made Jensen wince and moan weakly, his eyelids moving in slow-motion blinks.
“Jensen? Don't do this, okay? I came for you. We got your messages, and you did...” Jared swallowed around the knot in his suddenly raw throat. “You did good. You've always been too clever for anybody to fool you.”
One of his men pushed Jared's hands aside to put a pressure dressing onto the still bleeding wounds. It made Jared feel sick and relieved as well. Blood flowing meant that Jensen's heart was still pumping... but there was a lot of blood.
“I'm sorry, Jen. I know this is all my fault. But you can't die now. Your brother would kick my ass, and we both know that Josh is probably the only person in this country who could do that.”
For a moment Jared thought that Jensen was looking at him, and his mouth moved, but there wasn't any sound coming over his lips.
“You need to speak up, man. I am not good at lip reading... but tell you what, you just hang in there, and you can rip me a new one as soon as you're feeling better, okay?”
The medics arrived pushing Jared aside and making quick work of loading him onto a gurney as soon as they were sure he would be able to take it - or rather that he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer if they didn't. Jared watched them wheel him out hastily, feeling numb and angry at the same time. He had to tell Josh.
“They did what?”
“They fired me,” Jensen said with a tired sigh.
“No way. They can't do that.”
“Just did.” The young man was pulling items from his desk throwing them into the cardboard box standing on top of it. He didn't seem as angry as Jared thought he should be. But then maybe Jared was angry enough for both of them. It was probably lucky that Jensen had his own office which meant that nobody would walk by and chance feeling Jared's wrath.
“But we got the bad guys.” This all seemed incredible to Jared, and he wondered if he should pinch himself to see if he wasn't having some weird nightmare.
“Yes. But there is more to this job than catching the bad guys, Jared. There's rules and protocols and laws that need to be kept.”
“Then they should fire me. It was my idea.” Jared could feel the guilt coil in his stomach cold and bitter.
“I did it, Jared, not you.”
“But I made you do it.”
“You asked me. I said no... and then I got this crazy idea in my head to play the hero. It's my responsibility not yours.” He pushed the last drawer closed with more power than necessary and slapped the lid onto the box roughly.
“That's not right. They can't just do this to you, when it was my fault. I'll fix this.” Jared got up from where he was leaning against the desk.
When Jensen pushed him down roughly by the shoulder, Jared was so surprised by the strength behind the other man's arm that he just flopped back down. Jensen had never even tried to push Jared around. It was completely unexpected and out of character, so Jared just stared at him for a moment.
Jensen was seething. Where there had been only fatigue and resignation only moments before, there was the anger that Jared had been missing. Only that this anger was directed at him.
“No, you won't. Stop treating me like a fucking child, Jared! I am sick of being the weak link. You don't need to fix my messes, and you do not take responsibility for my decisions. I am an adult. I can think for myself and decide for myself... and quite obviously I can fuck things up for myself. So why don't you take your selfrighteousness out of my office, until I am gone.”
In hindsight, Jared knew that he should have said something, tried to make Jensen understand that he didn't think of him as a child... but at the time Jared was just lost for words at the resentment and the harshness of Jensen's words. So instead of saying something, Jared did as he was told and left the room, speechless for once.
“Jared... go home, okay?” Josh looked pale and drawn, but when he approached Jared it wasn't unkindly.
“I can't,” the other man stated in a voice that was calm, and quiet and very matter-of-fact. Jared felt that if he was trying to leave, he might lose it. It had been three days, and two surgeries since Jared had last seen Jensen, but he hadn't left the hospital. Jim gave him personal leave when Jared had requested it, and the agent didn't care that he acted like a child or a little girl. It had taken him three hours after the shooting to get debriefed, hand in his gear and get to the hospital. He hadn't left since, and he wasn't planning on it anytime soon.
“You have to.”
It hurt to have Josh send him away like this, and Jared was too worn to keep it from his face. They had never gotten around to telling Jensen's family of their relationship before it blew up in their faces, but if Josh had known, Jared wasn't sure it would have made a difference.
“Josh, please...” He wasn't above begging, not anymore.
“No. You have to go home and sleep, eat something warm and nutritious and get over your guilt trip. My brother might be dying, and I cannot bear watching my best friend self destruct as well.” The older Ackles brother was demanding but calm, he squeezed Jared's shoulder reassuringly as he pushed the man towards the exit. “I know you feel like this is somehow your fault, but it's not. Being here doesn't permit you to get the distance that you need to understand this.”
“But it is my fault, all of it. First I get him fired, and then I couldn't protect him.” Saying it made rare tears prickle in Jared's eyes. Josh only sighed, shaking his friend lightly by the shoulders. “He's an adult, Jay. We might not like it, but my little brother grew up a while ago. I promise to call you with any news.”
“Josh, I...” He wanted to tell him, tell his friend that he was in love with his little brother, but the words just got stuck in his throat. “If I leave now, I don't know if I'll be strong enough to come back here.”
There were many flaws Jared knew he had. But he had always been strong. To say something like this made him realize how easily Jensen could break him down completely. The crease between Josh's brows showed that he felt similar.
“When this is all over, you will have to tell me what Jen did to make you care so much.” There was a sad smile on the man's face, and Jared hugged him before stepping towards the doors.
“He was just... Jensen,” he said, mirroring the smile and pushing outside, feeling the suddenly crisp air against his face.
...next part...
Don't hate me, please? but you can curse on me in comments, if you like! :P
*hugs* Birdie
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Words: 3,900
Disclaimer: If they really were working covert operations, I'm sure they wouldn't tell about it. ...and I borrowed Adam from 24. ;)
Warnings: violence, slash, spies, soldiers, conspiracy, computer analyst!Jensen, agent!Jared, hurt/comfort, blood, sideline character death (not J2)
Master Post
Summary: When Jared first meets Jensen they seem to have nothing in common: one is a troubled teen trying to turn his life around, the other is too smart for his own good. A decade later they have become colleagues, friends, and more... until it all blew up in their faces. Jared doesn't believe there could be another chapter to their story. But when he's nearly killed during a sabotaged mission, he finds out that he probably hasn't seen the last of Jensen Ackles.
***
“You're a complete idiot, did you know that?” Jensen growled as he slapped the bandaid over the freshly cleaned cut on Jared's neck.
“Ouch... you really should work on your bedside manners.”
“Why? I'm no doctor,” he said while lifting Jared's arm to get to work on the next cut. Jumping through a window looked cool in the movies but they hardly ever considered that glass was freaking sharp.
“Obviously... You know that we have medics to take care of this, right?” Jared hissed as the disinfectant stung in his open wounds while Jensen dabbed away on them to remove any unwanted dirt.
“I do. But they would not make you regret your idiocy even half as much as I do.” The point was emphasized by another stinging dose of antiseptic.
“It's just a few shallow cuts, Jensen. You're acting like I jumped out of a chopper without a 'chute.”
“Which I know for a fact you’ve done before.”
Jared chuckled despite himself. “Only over water.”
“From a hundred feet above.”
“David did it too.”
“And if David was going to jump off a bridge, would you do the same?”
“If somebody was shooting at me...”
The slap to the back of his head didn't hurt and only resulted in Jared being unable to contain his laughter. He and Jensen argued half the time. But they never actually fought.
“You're impossible, do you know that? You should be more careful.”
“Sorry, mom,” Jared said with faked regret.
“I'm not your mom,” the younger man corrected him pouting.
“No, you're not. My mom couldn't care less where I jump.”
It was only a second before he realized what he had said. He could feel Jensen freeze next to him, acutely aware of the change in mood. They both fidgeted uncomfortably for a moment, before Jensen cleared his throat. He'd never been good at awkward silences.
“When'd you last talk to her?”
Of course Jensen also lacked a certain kind of introspection that would have lead other people to changing the subject.
“I sent a Christmas card.”
“By definition, talking includes the production of speech by tensing your vocal chords during a controlled exhale.”
Jared would have liked to shrug it off and say he didn't remember. But he did. “March last year. My aunt died. I went to the funeral.”
“That was eleven months ago, Jared.”
“You've always been good at math,” Jared answered dryly.
“Why don't you call her? If I don't call my mother for a week, she sends Josh after me. I think being in the military is like being a labrador... it makes him good at retrieving stuff.” Jensen liked making fun of Josh's orderly ways.
“Your folks are different... She didn't send me a Christmas card.”
“Oh.” Jensen frowned obviously straining himself as he considered what might be the socially proper answer to that. When he huffed out a frustrated sigh and gave Jared an insecure look, the man only shrugged.
“What, Jensen?”
“Did you check if something happened to her?”
Laughing Jared shook his head. “Nothing happened to her. She just doesn't care.”
“Is this the moment that I pat your shoulder, say 'there there' and offer you a hug?”
Rolling his eyes, Jared reached out to grab the collar of Jensen's shirt and pull him down, planting a kiss on the other man's lips. For a second or two Jensen complied, then he pushed away from Jared with a sudden shove.
“What are you doing?” His green eyes were wide, his face flushed.
“Damn. I would have thought that being a freaking genius meant you didn't need the speech about the birds and the bees...” Jared grinned at him cheekily grabbing for the bandaids in Jensen's hands. The younger man pulled his hands away quickly as if afraid Jared would try to pull him in again.
“My parents never tried that kind of metaphor with me. I think they gave up on such infantilisms after the Easter bunny disaster,” Jensen explained with a stern frown that made him look more like a pouting kid than an angry man.
Jared bit his lip. “You know that being so damn cute really doesn't help your agenda here... unless you are trying to make me jump you.”
“Jared!”
“What? You didn't mind last weekend.”
“Yes but... not here.” Jensen's eyes darted to the closed door as if he were expecting someone to barge in any second.
“Why not?” Jared sighed crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“Because we work together.” Jared was used to the I-am-surrounded-by-idiots expression Jensen sometimes got. But it hadn't annoyed him so much in a long time.
“We don't. I work out there with a gun in hand; you work in here behind a computer.”
“It's one agency,” Jensen stressed.
“It's not against the rules.”
“How would you know? You didn't read the rules.” Jensen was only half right. Jared had read the rules, but only those concerning field protocol.
“But I know you did... and you wouldn't break the rules, because despite being a complete slob - and don't you try denying it! I saw your stash of dirty clothes behind the couch. - you are still an Ackles.”
Jensen glared at him but didn't try to deny it. “It would still be inappropriate to be caught making out at work.”
“My shift is over,” Jared noted with a glance at his watch. He suddenly noticed how acutely tired he felt now that the last adrenaline of his mission had left him. “I just wanted a kiss before you send me home... I'm sick of sneaking around.”
Jensen shuffled his feet nervously. “We don't sneak around.”
“Yes, we do. If we could tell your family...”
“No!” Jensen wasn't very adamant about many things - other than being right all the time. He usually was, so Jared gave him that one without much complaint - but he was very adamant about this.
“I know you're nervous, Jensen... But we could make a trial run: Let's tell Josh and see what happens. If we have him on our side nothing bad can happen.”
“I don't know...” Jensen sighed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other restlessly. “Can I think about it?”
Jared was too tired to launch another attack on Jensen's resolve. Instead he just shrugged, getting up and stealing another quick peck on the lips from Jensen before grabbing his jacket and heading home for some much needed sleep.
Jared grabbed an extra magazine for his semiautomatic and clipped it to his belt. The com-line crackled as the frequency adjusted, establishing direct contact between tactical and systems. He checked the battery on his devices, satisfied that everything was fully charged.
The weight of the Kevlar vest was as familiar to Jared as a favorite sweater. It was adjusted to sit tightly around his body, and he always felt safer this way, bolder. Jensen once called it the idiot-vest because Jared tended to do stupid things when wearing body armor. Or maybe he wore body armor when intending to do stupid things... chicken, egg, do the math.
They went through protocol. Watches were synchronized, and each team member checked in through their earbuds to make sure communication was established properly. When they were done, when the guns were loaded, and the boots were tied, when the kevlar was pulled tight, and the stun grenades belted... they waited.
It felt like forever, but when the call finally came in, it was barely an hour after they had started prepping for the field.
“Jared, it's Adam. I think we got something. The code was an IP address that we could trace. I am uploading the location it was last locked in onto your pads.”
Jared's heart skipped into a jog. This had to be it. It had to, because Jensen was running out of time, he could feel it. “Do we have the go?”
Jim's voice sounded loud and clear in his ear, the man's voice deeper and more gravelly than their computer analyst's. “Go! The chopper's gassed up and waiting for your lazy asses.”
“Are you insane? I could lose my job over this. There's protocols... and I would break several of them.”
“Do you know how many protocols I've broken on my missions? They don't care as long as nobody gets hurt, and the results match up.”
“You're a field operative, Jay. They cut you slack, because you're one of their best. But I'm a geek.”
“Maybe this is the time you can show that you're more than a drone then.”
“That's not fair.”
Jensen's arms were crossed over his stomach, making him look defensive and uncomfortable. It made the agent feel like a bad person. Their relationship had been unexpected, and Jared hadn't known he wanted it, until one day it just happened. Jensen was weird about it at first, but he was always weird about things. That's just who he was, and Jared had long since known how to deal with it. But this was the first time Jensen had seemed uncomfortable around him.
“Look Jen, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't ask. I would do it myself, but I can't. I don't have the skills...”
“You mean you don't have the access codes,” Jensen snapped at him, harsher than Jared knew he could be. It rang like a slap in Jared's face. “Well, neither do I, Jay. So don't ask again.”
Jared backed off - literally - hands raised defensively as he took a few steps back to give the other man some space. “I know... and we also both know you don't need any access codes either. But you were right. I had no right to ask.”
Chewing his lip Jensen stared at him with that insecure look for a moment, and Jared was sure he would not like what he was about to hear.
“Is that why you're with me? For favors?”
“What?” Jared would have felt insulted if it weren't so insane to hear Jensen even consider this. “No. Jensen you know me. You're my friend as much as my boyfriend and I would never use you like that... I love you.” The last sentence was very quiet but the stricken look on Jensen's face made it unquestionably clear that he had heard. “I do and... I was asking a favor of my friend, because I think it's important. But I am not letting this have any influence on our relationship, so please just forget that I even asked. It was stupid of me and inconsiderate.”
He could see the hurt melt off Jensen's face during his declaration, and a weight lifted from Jared's chest. He dared take a few steps forward to run his palms over Jensen's crossed arms.
“I'm sorry.”
“How important?”
“What?” Jared had been so distracted by the fear of losing Jensen that his brain was unable to connect back to the beginning of their conversation.
“How important is it that you have this information?” There was a stubborn edge to the younger man's jaw that made Jared curious and wary
at the same time.
“I think it would crack this thing wide open, maybe save a lot of lives,” he answered hesitantly, shrugging awkwardly.
Jensen took a deep breath holding it foir a minute before he exhaled it in a sigh. He was looking at the five o'clock stubble on Jared's chin. “I'd say 'Get a warrant!' but we both know that would take forever.”
“I told you it's okay, Jensen. I'm sorry I asked, you don 't...”
“Give me two hours. I'll see what I can do.”
Jensen pulled away from him without locking eyes, but their hands slipped together for a moment, Jared's fingers squeezing Jensen's before the touch broke. He watched as Jensen walked away with quick, purposeful strides.
Jared knew they had to be at the right location when they spotted the first armed guard in the back alley of the building. The security on the place was tight, and it took them half an hour of staking it out to make sure they would be able to take out the guards and get inside effectively and not tip the people inside off immediately.
When they moved in, they did so quietly but quickly. The guards didn't even see them coming, before they were out of the game, and Jared entered the building leading one of the teams through a second floor window by the fire escape. They were combing through the building one by one, from the top down, while other teams were coming from the opposite direction after entering through a basement window. The upper floor was clean once the two guards by the main road window front were taken out, and Jared gave a silent sign to start climbing down.
Once at the bottom of the staircase to the first floor, all hell broke loose. There was no way of taking out all five men quietly, before they could sound the alarm. The first pop of gunfire broke the silence of their approach, and the shouting began. The racket of gunfire, and the bellow of voices shouting commands and warnings, made it nearly impossible for Jared to hear any of the commands coming through his comm unit. He shouted quite a bit himself to keep his team in formation and make the best of their chaotic approach.
“Team One, there's movement on the east corner of the first floor.”
He didn't know which of the scouts lying in the buildings across the street was talking, but he knew that they needed to move in now. They were approaching from the north end, and it would be unwise to let any of their opponent slip behind their back. Two of his team were slapping handcuffs on the men they had taken into custody and making sure they were unarmed when Jared gave a hand sign for them to follow him.
One steelcapped boot was sat in front of the other as quickly and quietly as possible, until they reached the only door leading to the east corner. Jared called a halt and put his rifle aside to pull out a semiautomatic handgun that left his other hand free to turn the doorknob. He traded looks with his men and counted down from three under his breath.
The knob turned and he pushed the door open. He was second through the door when he heard the shots go off. There were four of them, and the last two were unmistakably from their assault rifles, but the first two were less booming and sounded more like a handgun.
He stepped around the point man, whose rifle was smoking from the muzzle, and nearly stopped moving when he saw it. The room was bare but for a table with a computer on it that had cables trailing to different sockets in the walls, like veins exposed on a man's arm. The chair behind the computer was tipped over backwards, and there was still a man sprawled half in, half beside it. Jensen was pale, and his eyes were wide. There were two red spots on his shirt that extended like ink dripped onto blotting paper.
It took all of Jared's professionalism to pull himself away from the sight to sweep the room and make sure the perimeter was safely established before holstering his gun and dropping to his knees next to Jensen.
“This is Team One. We found him. We need medical assistance immediately.” He repeated his request and registered the crackling confirmation, while he pressed his hands tightly against the gunshot wounds in Jensen's chest. The pain of pressure made Jensen wince and moan weakly, his eyelids moving in slow-motion blinks.
“Jensen? Don't do this, okay? I came for you. We got your messages, and you did...” Jared swallowed around the knot in his suddenly raw throat. “You did good. You've always been too clever for anybody to fool you.”
One of his men pushed Jared's hands aside to put a pressure dressing onto the still bleeding wounds. It made Jared feel sick and relieved as well. Blood flowing meant that Jensen's heart was still pumping... but there was a lot of blood.
“I'm sorry, Jen. I know this is all my fault. But you can't die now. Your brother would kick my ass, and we both know that Josh is probably the only person in this country who could do that.”
For a moment Jared thought that Jensen was looking at him, and his mouth moved, but there wasn't any sound coming over his lips.
“You need to speak up, man. I am not good at lip reading... but tell you what, you just hang in there, and you can rip me a new one as soon as you're feeling better, okay?”
The medics arrived pushing Jared aside and making quick work of loading him onto a gurney as soon as they were sure he would be able to take it - or rather that he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer if they didn't. Jared watched them wheel him out hastily, feeling numb and angry at the same time. He had to tell Josh.
“They did what?”
“They fired me,” Jensen said with a tired sigh.
“No way. They can't do that.”
“Just did.” The young man was pulling items from his desk throwing them into the cardboard box standing on top of it. He didn't seem as angry as Jared thought he should be. But then maybe Jared was angry enough for both of them. It was probably lucky that Jensen had his own office which meant that nobody would walk by and chance feeling Jared's wrath.
“But we got the bad guys.” This all seemed incredible to Jared, and he wondered if he should pinch himself to see if he wasn't having some weird nightmare.
“Yes. But there is more to this job than catching the bad guys, Jared. There's rules and protocols and laws that need to be kept.”
“Then they should fire me. It was my idea.” Jared could feel the guilt coil in his stomach cold and bitter.
“I did it, Jared, not you.”
“But I made you do it.”
“You asked me. I said no... and then I got this crazy idea in my head to play the hero. It's my responsibility not yours.” He pushed the last drawer closed with more power than necessary and slapped the lid onto the box roughly.
“That's not right. They can't just do this to you, when it was my fault. I'll fix this.” Jared got up from where he was leaning against the desk.
When Jensen pushed him down roughly by the shoulder, Jared was so surprised by the strength behind the other man's arm that he just flopped back down. Jensen had never even tried to push Jared around. It was completely unexpected and out of character, so Jared just stared at him for a moment.
Jensen was seething. Where there had been only fatigue and resignation only moments before, there was the anger that Jared had been missing. Only that this anger was directed at him.
“No, you won't. Stop treating me like a fucking child, Jared! I am sick of being the weak link. You don't need to fix my messes, and you do not take responsibility for my decisions. I am an adult. I can think for myself and decide for myself... and quite obviously I can fuck things up for myself. So why don't you take your selfrighteousness out of my office, until I am gone.”
In hindsight, Jared knew that he should have said something, tried to make Jensen understand that he didn't think of him as a child... but at the time Jared was just lost for words at the resentment and the harshness of Jensen's words. So instead of saying something, Jared did as he was told and left the room, speechless for once.
“Jared... go home, okay?” Josh looked pale and drawn, but when he approached Jared it wasn't unkindly.
“I can't,” the other man stated in a voice that was calm, and quiet and very matter-of-fact. Jared felt that if he was trying to leave, he might lose it. It had been three days, and two surgeries since Jared had last seen Jensen, but he hadn't left the hospital. Jim gave him personal leave when Jared had requested it, and the agent didn't care that he acted like a child or a little girl. It had taken him three hours after the shooting to get debriefed, hand in his gear and get to the hospital. He hadn't left since, and he wasn't planning on it anytime soon.
“You have to.”
It hurt to have Josh send him away like this, and Jared was too worn to keep it from his face. They had never gotten around to telling Jensen's family of their relationship before it blew up in their faces, but if Josh had known, Jared wasn't sure it would have made a difference.
“Josh, please...” He wasn't above begging, not anymore.
“No. You have to go home and sleep, eat something warm and nutritious and get over your guilt trip. My brother might be dying, and I cannot bear watching my best friend self destruct as well.” The older Ackles brother was demanding but calm, he squeezed Jared's shoulder reassuringly as he pushed the man towards the exit. “I know you feel like this is somehow your fault, but it's not. Being here doesn't permit you to get the distance that you need to understand this.”
“But it is my fault, all of it. First I get him fired, and then I couldn't protect him.” Saying it made rare tears prickle in Jared's eyes. Josh only sighed, shaking his friend lightly by the shoulders. “He's an adult, Jay. We might not like it, but my little brother grew up a while ago. I promise to call you with any news.”
“Josh, I...” He wanted to tell him, tell his friend that he was in love with his little brother, but the words just got stuck in his throat. “If I leave now, I don't know if I'll be strong enough to come back here.”
There were many flaws Jared knew he had. But he had always been strong. To say something like this made him realize how easily Jensen could break him down completely. The crease between Josh's brows showed that he felt similar.
“When this is all over, you will have to tell me what Jen did to make you care so much.” There was a sad smile on the man's face, and Jared hugged him before stepping towards the doors.
“He was just... Jensen,” he said, mirroring the smile and pushing outside, feeling the suddenly crisp air against his face.
...next part...
Don't hate me, please? but you can curse on me in comments, if you like! :P
*hugs* Birdie