Insights 3/11
Insights 3/11
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Words: 3,900
Warnings: hooker!Jensen/other, non-con/dub-con, explicit m/m sex, prostitution, violence/blood, hurt/comfort, pretty damn foul language, glimpses of hooker!Danneel in het situations… alright, so this is not a fairytale. There is quite a bit of sexual violence, harassment and abuse here, power imbalance etc. Everything’s graphic. ...still, I don't believe in bad endings.
Disclaimer: Not my guys and this surely never happened.
Master Post
Summary: Being a Confidential Informant has its perks for Jensen - most of all a couple of hours paid downtime from working his corner every week in exchange for information to his handler, Jared. However, when another hooker turns up dead and the cop asks him to dig deeper into the ring that runs the streets of the red light district, Jensen suddenly finds himself in a very precarious position and it's going to take all his street smarts to get out of there alive.
Part Three
Jensen walked into the store, nodding at the bored looking clerk. Grabbing a basket at the door he walked through the aisles. He yawned, rubbing his eyes and feeling the grit of half a day old kohl on his fingertips. He had brushed the most smeared bits away before making his way to the store. They were out of quite a few things, and, with their working hours, neither Danneel nor him were really avid shoppers.
But when the soap ran low even they knew that it was time to bite into the lemon and spend the forty five extra minutes after a night of working to swing by the nearest store and stock up. He filled the basket with all the necessities they really couldn’t go without. Danneel had probably perfected the art of living off instant ramen, and he threw several packs of the noodles in before grabbing condoms and a pack of tampons, because he wasn’t sure how well stocked Danneel was.
There were a few more customers cruising the aisles, including a couple of teenage school girls who were grabbing some chocolate bars on their way to school. When they saw him, they stuck their heads together and giggled. He gave them a smile when he walked past towards the back of the store, browsing the bargain offers for something they might need and adding a few more things to the basket.
When someone pulled on his elbow, it was more luck than conviction that he didn’t fly around with raised fists. He still flinched visibly as his head shot around but relaxed instantly when a tiny woman, well into her retirement, looked at him with wide eyes from behind spectacles.
“I’m sorry, young man. But would you be so kind to hand me that big box from the top shelf?”
Jensen scolded himself for his twitchiness and smiled at the old lady before reaching up and handing her the thing she had asked for. She thanked him twice before pushing her cart further down the line. He made sure to pull his pullover down over his stomach again where it had ridden up as he stretched.
Sometimes he wondered how contorted people’s perception really was. While he got more than enough dirty looks and quite a few derogatory comments when leaning against a wall on the street, nobody seemed to notice that he was a hooker here. Like prostitutes didn’t go grocery shopping. All of a sudden he was just one more of those eye liner wearing emo boys, who didn’t know how to dress correctly but would become a normal part of society as soon as their hormones stabilized, and they were through their wild phase in college.
Nobody wondered if he could feel the over-abundance of lube sticking between his legs or felt uncomfortable with every wrong shift of his stance. He rubbed the corner of his mouth and went to add chap stick and gum to his shopping. He’d rather have a smoke, but he'd given up on that a while back. That didn’t mean his fingers didn’t itch for a cigarette every time he saw someone with a smoke walking by.
He checked once more if he'd remembered all the important things before going to the cashier. The clerk didn’t even blink when Jensen wrestled several crumpled bills and a few coins out on his jeans pockets, paying the exact amount of his shopping. He had gotten pretty good at estimating how much things would cost - tax included - and knew that he would still have some over when he left the store.
+++
He carried the brown paper bag full of goods back to the apartment on autopilot, not really watching where he was going any more than it took to not bump into someone. He hugged the bag close and weaved through the morning crowd moving in a stream of bodies towards their designated aims. It was strange how different the streets could look in the early hours of the day, when teenagers would sit on the corners listening to too loud music and thumping each others shoulders in a tribal kind of greeting, while harried looking women in worn out sneakers and cheap jeans stood at the bus stops to get to whatever crappy job they'd managed to get outside of the blocks Jensen worked in where the shops had iron bars on the windows and a shotgun under the register.
A young woman, maybe twenty-one if Jensen was gracious ran along the street like she was hounded by the devil himself. She was tall, and so thin that she had neither tits nor an ass, and if she hadn’t been so fucking tall she could make great money playing a fifteen year old virgin in a school uniform, so creepy old man would get off fucking her and thinking they were so damn kinky. The circles under her eyes, and the glassy look in them made Jensen think that she'd probably just shot up with one kind of junk or another and would be trembling and miserable in a few hours time, but for now she seemed to have energy to burn.
He stepped into the hallway of their building and jogged up the steps two at a time, ignoring the grimy feeling between his cheeks, content that he would get to wash up in a few minutes and then just sleep.
Balancing the shopping back on his hip with one arm, he unlocked the door and pushed it open with his shoulder. The loud grunt followed by cursing was the only warning Jensen had before he saw them. Danneel was sitting on the side of the window bed in just a skirt and a bra, hair undone and white strings of creamy liquid on her face. Her lips glistened with spit and more body fluids, and she still had the dick of their landlord who stood in front of her in her hand as the man cursed, pushing her backwards and pulling up his pants from where they had pooled around his ankles, white ass on full display.
Jensen just stepped inside the room turning his back to the whole spectacle as he dropped the brown paper bag onto the tiny table that stood next to the door.
“Fucking pervert”, he heard their landlord curse but only rolled his eyes, wondering who the pervert here was.
“Nothing he ain’t seen a million times, Ed. See you next week!” The door closed with a thump, and Jensen turned back around, cocking an eye at his room mate.
“Gross?”
She snorted shrugging and trying to rearrange her destroyed hair. “I was paying this weeks rent… in full.”
That caught Jensen’s attention, and he walked to the radiator, pulling out their envelope and looking at the money that was still there - the same amount as yesterday. “Damn. He must have been fucking horny to take one blow job as a week worth of rent.”
“I’m just that good.”
Jensen chuckled, putting the envelope back, then starting to shelf away the shopping. “If that’s his fixed rate, I’d blow him every week.”
She giggled looking into the bag curiously. “Yeah… I think he only likes guys from behind, so he can’t see their faces.”
Jensen pushed her away from the table and towards the bathroom. “You got something on your face, honey. Wash the cum off, before it ends up on my groceries.”
She smacked his ass, making him jump at the sting of a busy night, but the door had already closed on her cackling laughter.
+++
Jared sat on the couch with a beer in his hand dangling between his legs from damp fingers. His head was bowed forward hiding his face behind chestnut bangs.
“What the fuck was I thinking?”
“Didn’t sound like you had much chance to think, really.” The couch dipped next to him, and Jared raised his head, looking at the man who sat next to him with a curious expression on his face, and a beer tipped against his lips.
“How’s that an excuse?” He felt like shit, and Jensen’s attitude towards the whole thing didn’t really help much. Calling Jared’s guilt self-righteous had been quite the slap to the face, and just because Jensen lived in this twisted world where sex was a currency, and a product to be bought and sold at will didn’t mean that Jared couldn’t feel like a normal human being should. And that was the problem really. Even though Jared always told himself that he would treat the hooker like a real person, the fact that he had to remind himself of that, revealed that somewhere inside him, he judged Jensen and felt like he was less than that. Otherwise why would it be a challenge to behave towards him like every other person Jared interacted with?
“Well. You were in an unexpected situation, and it was either risk your cover and your CI’s life, or let said CI suck you off… obviously the guy didn’t mind, since it was his idea.” The man sharing the sofa with Jared was several years his senior but still well in his best years. He had a salt and pepper beard under dark hair, and brown eyes with creases around them that bore witness to several good laughs.
“Jeff, you can rationalize it as much as you want to, but I fucked up. I broke the department’s rules, and I also broke my own rules. I swore that I would always stay professional and try to protect him as much as I could, and that I never wanted any sexual favors for that.” He shook his head, downing a good part of his beer in one go. Jeffrey was Jared’s partner, but when he went undercover around the drug and hooker district, Jared was at his own mercy.
Jeffrey huffed out a disbelieving laugh. “Well, looks like your agendas turned out to be mutually exclusive, so now you have to decide. Do you want to protect him? Stay professional and do what it takes to keep both your covers intact… or do you not want any sexual favors. Because it looks like you got yourself into a catch 22. There is no and there, just an or. Which one will it be?”
+++
The guy approaching Jensen was in his late forties, tall and heavy bellied. His hair was receding around the temples, and he had his sleeves pushed up like he wanted to display his solid lower arms.
Jensen took a deep breath, already wary of this one, hoping that it was going to be a simple blow job that would be over in five minutes of getting his throat fucked raw and his hair pulled. Of course, the way the man was sizing him up from top to bottom indicated that he was interested in more than just a ready mouth to come in.
“You there, c’mere!” It was as much of a barked order as any, and Jensen was already glad he had lubed and stretched himself properly before going to work. The guy didn’t seem like the kind that cared about foreplay to accommodate his partners.
Jensen straightened, strutting towards the guy with a little less of a hunch than usual. Maybe the butch dude would find him not twinky enough and move on to greener pastures.
“What’ll it be?” He looked at the John with one cockily raised eyebrow and hoped the man would just walk away.
“I’m gonna fuck you, that’s what, boy.”
Obviously his hope was in vain, but Jensen just nodded slowly telling him the price for the first hour. “Up front, kinks are extra.”
The guy narrowed his eyes at Jensen but pulled out his wallet handing over the bills. Jensen counted them, then walked the few paces to where Mark was groping one of the girls to hand him the bills indicating he was leaving with the butch-guy.
Pay upfront was usual for these kind of things, but he only went so far as to handing the money over upfront when he felt like he might be skimmed. For regulars he accepted pay after service, but this one smelled like he wasn’t the most trustworthy client. If Jensen had the liberty to decline a John without obvious reason but gut feeling, this one wouldn’t be getting any tonight. The pimps didn’t give a crap about his gut though, and so he inclined his head at the newest John to lead the way.
As it turned out butch-guy had a car around the corner and before long they were checked into the next best by-the-hour motel. Jensen dropped his sweater and tee within the first few seconds of entering the room since it was obvious that the John didn’t want them to play loving couple but just really wanted his dick up Jensen’s ass. Jensen hardly managed to toe off his sneakers, before he was slammed into the wall by a fleshy body that smelled like whiskey and cigarette sweat.
He grunted as his shoulder blades dug into the drywall, and a hand squeezed his crotch too hard. “I’m gonna tie you up and fuck you so hard, you’ll scream.”
Jensen whimpered, eyes screwed closed even after the man shoved off him roughly, probably to undress as well. He would scream, that much was sure. If he knew the guy wanted him to beg and scream, he would accommodate that. “Bondage costs extra.”
A clammy hand slapped over his mouth and squeezed his cheeks with doughy fingers. “You talk to much.”
Jensen stared at the guy trying to show him that he didn’t back down on the extra charges but didn’t try to speak again. A sneer answered him, but in the end there were two extra bills set onto the TV set and Jensen nodded. Looked like he could handle Butch after all.
He unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down and grabbed a couple of condoms from them while toeing off his socks. He hadn’t bothered with shorts. One piece of laundy less. He held up the colorful selection of rubbers with a smirk. “Any color or taste you prefer?”
“No.” Butch guy left his socks on as he stalked towards the bed and Jensen wasn’t too happy to see the man having quite the proportionate dick to his large body size. That and being rough would not be pleasant, even though he'd come well prepared.
He knelt on the bed and forced a smile, dropping the rainbow selection onto the night stand and grabbing one of the extra larges ripping it open with his teeth. “Blue it is then.”
Jensen crawled forward, until he was right in front of the man’s body, reaching for the half-erected cock to roll the latex onto it but had to stop when a large hand grabbed his wrist.
“I said no.”
Jensen’s breath caught, and he looked up, eyes suddenly wide and heart speeding up. “Sorry, but I don’t do bareback.”
He acted nonchalant, trying to dislodge the man’s grip to continue in pulling on the condom, but the fingers around his wrist tightened, until the small bones in the heel of his hand were grinding together, and he winced.
“I don’t care what you do or don’t do, you hear me?” It was a growl, and Jensen got the feeling that Butch enjoyed hurting him.
“No. I don’t DO bareback.” All pretence of friendliness had left Jensen, and he glared at the man with all he had, trying to pull away roughly and ignoring the sting of pain that ran up his arm. “Us hookers are a diseased pack… never know what you can catch.”
“Shut up.” The guy grinned at him with nicotine-yellowed teeth, and Jensen saw red, kicking out and hitting the man’s thigh instead of his groin where he had aimed due to the weird angle; his wrist was still in the vice like grip. The John grunted and growled, right before a fist met Jensen’s temple, making his head whiplash to the side and stars explode before his eyes. He fell onto the bed disoriented.
He had turned onto his stomach, head still swimming, and was trying get onto his knees when he was gripped roughly by the shoulders and shoved to the bed face first. He kicked out and tried to twist away, but large hands gripped his arms and pulled them behind his back holding him down with the weight of a heavy body, Something flat and broad was wrapped around his wrists and pulled tight. He had enough experience to recognize a belt when he was tied with it, and sheer panic erased the disorientation and shock from that hit.
Jensen struggled as much as he could with his arms tied behind his back and managed to kick out once more, so the guy flinched back enough for him to twist away and roll off the bed. His shoulder hit the floor, and he groaned, trying to get his legs under him and get up. The slap across his face stung, and he could taste blood. He froze in mid-motion as the reality settled in that he was naked, and tied up and in a room with a violent man who outweighed him by about seventy pounds.
Green eyes travelled up, large and stinging with wetness as he looked at the pile of meat standing before him. The more he struggled, the more he’d get hurt, and he stopped all motion at once. In his mind he berated himself for struggling at all after the first hit, after the ties had been pulled tight. He should have known better but this was a part of him he sometimes couldn’t control when panic flooded in.
When he was grabbed and thrown onto the bed he didn’t try to struggle any more. When his hips were pulled up into the air he just balanced on his knees, shifting them further apart, and when his face was pushed into the mattress he just made sure to pull his head in enough, so he could still breathe.
The first push of that large cock into his ass came so soon that he knew his struggles must have the man behind him fully hard. Jensen groaned, feeling overstretched from missing foreplay, and even his own preparations and practice didn’t take away the definite sting of being penetrated hard and fast.
Butch started moving quickly, pounding into Jensen without regard, and the hooker didn’t hold back a single pained gasp or hiss or groan, rather playing it up, hoping the John would get finished quicker if he played along. It wasn’t long before Jensen was begging, screaming at the hardest pushes into his body, and when the cock inside him twitched, and the man behind him groaned, he was relieved.
There was a wet spot on the sheets under his face that was probably a mix of tears, sweat and saliva, but he didn’t really give a shit. The dick was pulled from his abused body, and he was shoved away. He fell sideways onto the mattress in a position that pulled on his restrained shoulders. He sobbed at the feeling of warm, sticky cum oozing out of his ass, running over his skin and onto the sheets and turned his head sideways, throwing up at the thought of this guy having fucked him raw with his potentially infectious cock.
He hadn’t eaten in several hours and all that came up was greenish bile with a few bitter chunks of whatever staining the sheets. Tears were leaking out of his eyes again, but he forced himself to keep them open, watching the John pull his clothes back on with a detached feeling, not saying a word, not demanding to be freed. Finally, only after the man had tied up his boots slowly, he walked over smirking at Jensen and squeezing his ass one last time before untying his arms to take away the belt and weave it through the loops on his pants.
Jensen didn’t really react, just moved his arms into a more natural position while he was still lying in the bed. He didn’t even protest when the John reached for the money on the TV, taking one of the two bills and sticking it in his own pocket before throwing the other down in front of Jensen’s face on the puke-stained sheets.
+++
The door closed behind Jensen with a thud that was deafeningly loud in the early morning silence of their apartment. Jensen had taken the liberty of taking a hot shower at the motel, scrubbing himself off, until his skin was red-raw, and he was sure that there wasn’t a single drop of cum left on him.
He had stood by the wall after getting a smack over the head from Mark for “being such a stupid cunt” and getting bruised up, but business was slow as it was early morning already, and, thankfully, nobody wanted the rent boy with the black eye and the split lip.
The sun had only just started rising, and the street lamp outside their window kept the room bathed in yellow light. Danneel turned around to look at him, not yet asleep since she had probably just gone to bed herself.
“You’re early.”
Jensen didn’t say anything, didn’t even shrug, and she sat up, frowning. He could see the moment she noticed the bloody crust on his lip, and the bruise around his temple and eye socket, and he saw her face turn blank. She didn’t ask what had happened, because they had all been in similar situations before, just pulled back the blanket, offering him his spot in the bed. He stared at it for a moment, contemplating sleeping in the bed beside the window. But Danneel wasn’t like the rest of them. Her touch never made him uncomfortable, and so he pulled off his work clothes and slipped into the sweatpants and hoodie he slept in during the cold season before lying down.
She didn’t glue herself to his side like usual offering him space that all of a sudden he really didn’t want. He turned towards her, putting his face into the crook of her neck, smelling auburn hair and slinging an arm around her middle. Her hand started petting his hair in calming, gentle strokes.
For a long moment they just lay there until Jensen found his voice again. “I need to get tested again.”
Her hand stilled for a beat as the implications were clear. Then she sighed, her breath moving over his short hair. “No good worrying about it for the next six months, Jen.”
He didn’t answer as he swallowed tightly. Another six months of having that gnawing knowledge in the back of his mind, that dread of having caught something churning in his stomach. He could try to tell himself not to worry, but he still would, and it was still six months until the HIV-test could tell for sure.
...next part... (next Monday)
A/N: I hope everybody read the warnings before reading? You can comment below.
*Hugs* Birdie
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Words: 3,900
Warnings: hooker!Jensen/other, non-con/dub-con, explicit m/m sex, prostitution, violence/blood, hurt/comfort, pretty damn foul language, glimpses of hooker!Danneel in het situations… alright, so this is not a fairytale. There is quite a bit of sexual violence, harassment and abuse here, power imbalance etc. Everything’s graphic. ...still, I don't believe in bad endings.
Disclaimer: Not my guys and this surely never happened.
Master Post
Summary: Being a Confidential Informant has its perks for Jensen - most of all a couple of hours paid downtime from working his corner every week in exchange for information to his handler, Jared. However, when another hooker turns up dead and the cop asks him to dig deeper into the ring that runs the streets of the red light district, Jensen suddenly finds himself in a very precarious position and it's going to take all his street smarts to get out of there alive.
Part Three
Jensen walked into the store, nodding at the bored looking clerk. Grabbing a basket at the door he walked through the aisles. He yawned, rubbing his eyes and feeling the grit of half a day old kohl on his fingertips. He had brushed the most smeared bits away before making his way to the store. They were out of quite a few things, and, with their working hours, neither Danneel nor him were really avid shoppers.
But when the soap ran low even they knew that it was time to bite into the lemon and spend the forty five extra minutes after a night of working to swing by the nearest store and stock up. He filled the basket with all the necessities they really couldn’t go without. Danneel had probably perfected the art of living off instant ramen, and he threw several packs of the noodles in before grabbing condoms and a pack of tampons, because he wasn’t sure how well stocked Danneel was.
There were a few more customers cruising the aisles, including a couple of teenage school girls who were grabbing some chocolate bars on their way to school. When they saw him, they stuck their heads together and giggled. He gave them a smile when he walked past towards the back of the store, browsing the bargain offers for something they might need and adding a few more things to the basket.
When someone pulled on his elbow, it was more luck than conviction that he didn’t fly around with raised fists. He still flinched visibly as his head shot around but relaxed instantly when a tiny woman, well into her retirement, looked at him with wide eyes from behind spectacles.
“I’m sorry, young man. But would you be so kind to hand me that big box from the top shelf?”
Jensen scolded himself for his twitchiness and smiled at the old lady before reaching up and handing her the thing she had asked for. She thanked him twice before pushing her cart further down the line. He made sure to pull his pullover down over his stomach again where it had ridden up as he stretched.
Sometimes he wondered how contorted people’s perception really was. While he got more than enough dirty looks and quite a few derogatory comments when leaning against a wall on the street, nobody seemed to notice that he was a hooker here. Like prostitutes didn’t go grocery shopping. All of a sudden he was just one more of those eye liner wearing emo boys, who didn’t know how to dress correctly but would become a normal part of society as soon as their hormones stabilized, and they were through their wild phase in college.
Nobody wondered if he could feel the over-abundance of lube sticking between his legs or felt uncomfortable with every wrong shift of his stance. He rubbed the corner of his mouth and went to add chap stick and gum to his shopping. He’d rather have a smoke, but he'd given up on that a while back. That didn’t mean his fingers didn’t itch for a cigarette every time he saw someone with a smoke walking by.
He checked once more if he'd remembered all the important things before going to the cashier. The clerk didn’t even blink when Jensen wrestled several crumpled bills and a few coins out on his jeans pockets, paying the exact amount of his shopping. He had gotten pretty good at estimating how much things would cost - tax included - and knew that he would still have some over when he left the store.
+++
He carried the brown paper bag full of goods back to the apartment on autopilot, not really watching where he was going any more than it took to not bump into someone. He hugged the bag close and weaved through the morning crowd moving in a stream of bodies towards their designated aims. It was strange how different the streets could look in the early hours of the day, when teenagers would sit on the corners listening to too loud music and thumping each others shoulders in a tribal kind of greeting, while harried looking women in worn out sneakers and cheap jeans stood at the bus stops to get to whatever crappy job they'd managed to get outside of the blocks Jensen worked in where the shops had iron bars on the windows and a shotgun under the register.
A young woman, maybe twenty-one if Jensen was gracious ran along the street like she was hounded by the devil himself. She was tall, and so thin that she had neither tits nor an ass, and if she hadn’t been so fucking tall she could make great money playing a fifteen year old virgin in a school uniform, so creepy old man would get off fucking her and thinking they were so damn kinky. The circles under her eyes, and the glassy look in them made Jensen think that she'd probably just shot up with one kind of junk or another and would be trembling and miserable in a few hours time, but for now she seemed to have energy to burn.
He stepped into the hallway of their building and jogged up the steps two at a time, ignoring the grimy feeling between his cheeks, content that he would get to wash up in a few minutes and then just sleep.
Balancing the shopping back on his hip with one arm, he unlocked the door and pushed it open with his shoulder. The loud grunt followed by cursing was the only warning Jensen had before he saw them. Danneel was sitting on the side of the window bed in just a skirt and a bra, hair undone and white strings of creamy liquid on her face. Her lips glistened with spit and more body fluids, and she still had the dick of their landlord who stood in front of her in her hand as the man cursed, pushing her backwards and pulling up his pants from where they had pooled around his ankles, white ass on full display.
Jensen just stepped inside the room turning his back to the whole spectacle as he dropped the brown paper bag onto the tiny table that stood next to the door.
“Fucking pervert”, he heard their landlord curse but only rolled his eyes, wondering who the pervert here was.
“Nothing he ain’t seen a million times, Ed. See you next week!” The door closed with a thump, and Jensen turned back around, cocking an eye at his room mate.
“Gross?”
She snorted shrugging and trying to rearrange her destroyed hair. “I was paying this weeks rent… in full.”
That caught Jensen’s attention, and he walked to the radiator, pulling out their envelope and looking at the money that was still there - the same amount as yesterday. “Damn. He must have been fucking horny to take one blow job as a week worth of rent.”
“I’m just that good.”
Jensen chuckled, putting the envelope back, then starting to shelf away the shopping. “If that’s his fixed rate, I’d blow him every week.”
She giggled looking into the bag curiously. “Yeah… I think he only likes guys from behind, so he can’t see their faces.”
Jensen pushed her away from the table and towards the bathroom. “You got something on your face, honey. Wash the cum off, before it ends up on my groceries.”
She smacked his ass, making him jump at the sting of a busy night, but the door had already closed on her cackling laughter.
+++
Jared sat on the couch with a beer in his hand dangling between his legs from damp fingers. His head was bowed forward hiding his face behind chestnut bangs.
“What the fuck was I thinking?”
“Didn’t sound like you had much chance to think, really.” The couch dipped next to him, and Jared raised his head, looking at the man who sat next to him with a curious expression on his face, and a beer tipped against his lips.
“How’s that an excuse?” He felt like shit, and Jensen’s attitude towards the whole thing didn’t really help much. Calling Jared’s guilt self-righteous had been quite the slap to the face, and just because Jensen lived in this twisted world where sex was a currency, and a product to be bought and sold at will didn’t mean that Jared couldn’t feel like a normal human being should. And that was the problem really. Even though Jared always told himself that he would treat the hooker like a real person, the fact that he had to remind himself of that, revealed that somewhere inside him, he judged Jensen and felt like he was less than that. Otherwise why would it be a challenge to behave towards him like every other person Jared interacted with?
“Well. You were in an unexpected situation, and it was either risk your cover and your CI’s life, or let said CI suck you off… obviously the guy didn’t mind, since it was his idea.” The man sharing the sofa with Jared was several years his senior but still well in his best years. He had a salt and pepper beard under dark hair, and brown eyes with creases around them that bore witness to several good laughs.
“Jeff, you can rationalize it as much as you want to, but I fucked up. I broke the department’s rules, and I also broke my own rules. I swore that I would always stay professional and try to protect him as much as I could, and that I never wanted any sexual favors for that.” He shook his head, downing a good part of his beer in one go. Jeffrey was Jared’s partner, but when he went undercover around the drug and hooker district, Jared was at his own mercy.
Jeffrey huffed out a disbelieving laugh. “Well, looks like your agendas turned out to be mutually exclusive, so now you have to decide. Do you want to protect him? Stay professional and do what it takes to keep both your covers intact… or do you not want any sexual favors. Because it looks like you got yourself into a catch 22. There is no and there, just an or. Which one will it be?”
+++
The guy approaching Jensen was in his late forties, tall and heavy bellied. His hair was receding around the temples, and he had his sleeves pushed up like he wanted to display his solid lower arms.
Jensen took a deep breath, already wary of this one, hoping that it was going to be a simple blow job that would be over in five minutes of getting his throat fucked raw and his hair pulled. Of course, the way the man was sizing him up from top to bottom indicated that he was interested in more than just a ready mouth to come in.
“You there, c’mere!” It was as much of a barked order as any, and Jensen was already glad he had lubed and stretched himself properly before going to work. The guy didn’t seem like the kind that cared about foreplay to accommodate his partners.
Jensen straightened, strutting towards the guy with a little less of a hunch than usual. Maybe the butch dude would find him not twinky enough and move on to greener pastures.
“What’ll it be?” He looked at the John with one cockily raised eyebrow and hoped the man would just walk away.
“I’m gonna fuck you, that’s what, boy.”
Obviously his hope was in vain, but Jensen just nodded slowly telling him the price for the first hour. “Up front, kinks are extra.”
The guy narrowed his eyes at Jensen but pulled out his wallet handing over the bills. Jensen counted them, then walked the few paces to where Mark was groping one of the girls to hand him the bills indicating he was leaving with the butch-guy.
Pay upfront was usual for these kind of things, but he only went so far as to handing the money over upfront when he felt like he might be skimmed. For regulars he accepted pay after service, but this one smelled like he wasn’t the most trustworthy client. If Jensen had the liberty to decline a John without obvious reason but gut feeling, this one wouldn’t be getting any tonight. The pimps didn’t give a crap about his gut though, and so he inclined his head at the newest John to lead the way.
As it turned out butch-guy had a car around the corner and before long they were checked into the next best by-the-hour motel. Jensen dropped his sweater and tee within the first few seconds of entering the room since it was obvious that the John didn’t want them to play loving couple but just really wanted his dick up Jensen’s ass. Jensen hardly managed to toe off his sneakers, before he was slammed into the wall by a fleshy body that smelled like whiskey and cigarette sweat.
He grunted as his shoulder blades dug into the drywall, and a hand squeezed his crotch too hard. “I’m gonna tie you up and fuck you so hard, you’ll scream.”
Jensen whimpered, eyes screwed closed even after the man shoved off him roughly, probably to undress as well. He would scream, that much was sure. If he knew the guy wanted him to beg and scream, he would accommodate that. “Bondage costs extra.”
A clammy hand slapped over his mouth and squeezed his cheeks with doughy fingers. “You talk to much.”
Jensen stared at the guy trying to show him that he didn’t back down on the extra charges but didn’t try to speak again. A sneer answered him, but in the end there were two extra bills set onto the TV set and Jensen nodded. Looked like he could handle Butch after all.
He unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down and grabbed a couple of condoms from them while toeing off his socks. He hadn’t bothered with shorts. One piece of laundy less. He held up the colorful selection of rubbers with a smirk. “Any color or taste you prefer?”
“No.” Butch guy left his socks on as he stalked towards the bed and Jensen wasn’t too happy to see the man having quite the proportionate dick to his large body size. That and being rough would not be pleasant, even though he'd come well prepared.
He knelt on the bed and forced a smile, dropping the rainbow selection onto the night stand and grabbing one of the extra larges ripping it open with his teeth. “Blue it is then.”
Jensen crawled forward, until he was right in front of the man’s body, reaching for the half-erected cock to roll the latex onto it but had to stop when a large hand grabbed his wrist.
“I said no.”
Jensen’s breath caught, and he looked up, eyes suddenly wide and heart speeding up. “Sorry, but I don’t do bareback.”
He acted nonchalant, trying to dislodge the man’s grip to continue in pulling on the condom, but the fingers around his wrist tightened, until the small bones in the heel of his hand were grinding together, and he winced.
“I don’t care what you do or don’t do, you hear me?” It was a growl, and Jensen got the feeling that Butch enjoyed hurting him.
“No. I don’t DO bareback.” All pretence of friendliness had left Jensen, and he glared at the man with all he had, trying to pull away roughly and ignoring the sting of pain that ran up his arm. “Us hookers are a diseased pack… never know what you can catch.”
“Shut up.” The guy grinned at him with nicotine-yellowed teeth, and Jensen saw red, kicking out and hitting the man’s thigh instead of his groin where he had aimed due to the weird angle; his wrist was still in the vice like grip. The John grunted and growled, right before a fist met Jensen’s temple, making his head whiplash to the side and stars explode before his eyes. He fell onto the bed disoriented.
He had turned onto his stomach, head still swimming, and was trying get onto his knees when he was gripped roughly by the shoulders and shoved to the bed face first. He kicked out and tried to twist away, but large hands gripped his arms and pulled them behind his back holding him down with the weight of a heavy body, Something flat and broad was wrapped around his wrists and pulled tight. He had enough experience to recognize a belt when he was tied with it, and sheer panic erased the disorientation and shock from that hit.
Jensen struggled as much as he could with his arms tied behind his back and managed to kick out once more, so the guy flinched back enough for him to twist away and roll off the bed. His shoulder hit the floor, and he groaned, trying to get his legs under him and get up. The slap across his face stung, and he could taste blood. He froze in mid-motion as the reality settled in that he was naked, and tied up and in a room with a violent man who outweighed him by about seventy pounds.
Green eyes travelled up, large and stinging with wetness as he looked at the pile of meat standing before him. The more he struggled, the more he’d get hurt, and he stopped all motion at once. In his mind he berated himself for struggling at all after the first hit, after the ties had been pulled tight. He should have known better but this was a part of him he sometimes couldn’t control when panic flooded in.
When he was grabbed and thrown onto the bed he didn’t try to struggle any more. When his hips were pulled up into the air he just balanced on his knees, shifting them further apart, and when his face was pushed into the mattress he just made sure to pull his head in enough, so he could still breathe.
The first push of that large cock into his ass came so soon that he knew his struggles must have the man behind him fully hard. Jensen groaned, feeling overstretched from missing foreplay, and even his own preparations and practice didn’t take away the definite sting of being penetrated hard and fast.
Butch started moving quickly, pounding into Jensen without regard, and the hooker didn’t hold back a single pained gasp or hiss or groan, rather playing it up, hoping the John would get finished quicker if he played along. It wasn’t long before Jensen was begging, screaming at the hardest pushes into his body, and when the cock inside him twitched, and the man behind him groaned, he was relieved.
There was a wet spot on the sheets under his face that was probably a mix of tears, sweat and saliva, but he didn’t really give a shit. The dick was pulled from his abused body, and he was shoved away. He fell sideways onto the mattress in a position that pulled on his restrained shoulders. He sobbed at the feeling of warm, sticky cum oozing out of his ass, running over his skin and onto the sheets and turned his head sideways, throwing up at the thought of this guy having fucked him raw with his potentially infectious cock.
He hadn’t eaten in several hours and all that came up was greenish bile with a few bitter chunks of whatever staining the sheets. Tears were leaking out of his eyes again, but he forced himself to keep them open, watching the John pull his clothes back on with a detached feeling, not saying a word, not demanding to be freed. Finally, only after the man had tied up his boots slowly, he walked over smirking at Jensen and squeezing his ass one last time before untying his arms to take away the belt and weave it through the loops on his pants.
Jensen didn’t really react, just moved his arms into a more natural position while he was still lying in the bed. He didn’t even protest when the John reached for the money on the TV, taking one of the two bills and sticking it in his own pocket before throwing the other down in front of Jensen’s face on the puke-stained sheets.
+++
The door closed behind Jensen with a thud that was deafeningly loud in the early morning silence of their apartment. Jensen had taken the liberty of taking a hot shower at the motel, scrubbing himself off, until his skin was red-raw, and he was sure that there wasn’t a single drop of cum left on him.
He had stood by the wall after getting a smack over the head from Mark for “being such a stupid cunt” and getting bruised up, but business was slow as it was early morning already, and, thankfully, nobody wanted the rent boy with the black eye and the split lip.
The sun had only just started rising, and the street lamp outside their window kept the room bathed in yellow light. Danneel turned around to look at him, not yet asleep since she had probably just gone to bed herself.
“You’re early.”
Jensen didn’t say anything, didn’t even shrug, and she sat up, frowning. He could see the moment she noticed the bloody crust on his lip, and the bruise around his temple and eye socket, and he saw her face turn blank. She didn’t ask what had happened, because they had all been in similar situations before, just pulled back the blanket, offering him his spot in the bed. He stared at it for a moment, contemplating sleeping in the bed beside the window. But Danneel wasn’t like the rest of them. Her touch never made him uncomfortable, and so he pulled off his work clothes and slipped into the sweatpants and hoodie he slept in during the cold season before lying down.
She didn’t glue herself to his side like usual offering him space that all of a sudden he really didn’t want. He turned towards her, putting his face into the crook of her neck, smelling auburn hair and slinging an arm around her middle. Her hand started petting his hair in calming, gentle strokes.
For a long moment they just lay there until Jensen found his voice again. “I need to get tested again.”
Her hand stilled for a beat as the implications were clear. Then she sighed, her breath moving over his short hair. “No good worrying about it for the next six months, Jen.”
He didn’t answer as he swallowed tightly. Another six months of having that gnawing knowledge in the back of his mind, that dread of having caught something churning in his stomach. He could try to tell himself not to worry, but he still would, and it was still six months until the HIV-test could tell for sure.
...next part... (next Monday)
A/N: I hope everybody read the warnings before reading? You can comment below.
*Hugs* Birdie