Sigh..
Argh. Okay. I'm at a loss right now. There's this guy, right? His name's Morgan. He's really nice and stuff, and I really like him, but there's this problem. He wants to date me. I know what some of you are probably thinking, "How's that a problem if you both like each other?" Well, it is 'cause I don't want to date him. I mean, I do... but I have tons of reasons why I shouldn't. One being that he sleeps with every girl he dates. Another being that I'm afraid of being hurt agian. (Not to mention the fact that I'm still dating Ryan on-line. That's reason enough for me to say no to him.) And, I've said no like... 20 gazillion times. But, he's a persistant bastard and continues to bug me about it. I'm at my wits end and I can't figure out what to do.
He was talking to some of his friends today after school and one of them asked if we were dating. He said no, though he wished we were but "someone won't say yes." And my reply? "With good reason." That was a mistake. Now he, Goldsbee, Zimmermann, and Van Dyke are going to be bugging me for that certain reason. If I told him though, I don't think he'd understand. I don't think he'd believe me, to be honest. He thinks he's the reason why I don't want to date him, but he's not. There's a much bigger reason, a reason I'm not willing to tell anyone...
*
Alicia got busted for Skittles again. She might be sent to Rehab for 3 weeks or social services might take her away from her mom and send her to her sister in Georgia.
Kelsey has a pedophile stalking her, which doesn't really surprise me but it does scare the hell out of me. I don't think she realizes how serious the matter is 'cause all she does is joke around about it. But, then again, maybe that's just her defense. I don't know..
Another one of my friend's father is becoming more and more abusive towards her and she continues to blame herself. Even if he was drunk, it doesn't matter. He had no right to hurt her. So, she might be sent to a Home or taken away from her family, too, 'cause someone reported the incident to the school's counselor.
Karissa told me about some of her issues with her father. God I didn't need to hear what she had to say. It was sickening, some of the stuff she told me. No wonder she's having problems.
And then there's me. My mom and I got into another fight before school. What about? My grades. She's a flipping moron and I swear to effing God I hate her with a passion! Then, when she was done and had nearly brought me to tears, she wanted to give me a hug. I was like, "No. Leave me alone." and I stalked off to my room. Boy did that piss her off even more. I'm also having friend problems. Sarah's barely talking to me now. She went to see Boogeyman with Andrea a month or so ago and ever since she's been best friends with her. I wish I could say I wasn't hurt by it, but the truth is... I am. It's driving me crazy! I'm to the point where I wish I could just hit everyone with a stick. A very pointy stick, at that. And then, to top everything off, I've been screaming at my sisters even more than usual and even threatening to hit them. It's horrible and whenever it happens I can't believe I've just said it.
Someone, Manuel I think, asked me if I was seeing a psychiatrist. I said no, and then asked why. He said, "Because you need to talk about your issues with someone. You seem to have a lot of emotional problems." Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need a psychiatrist. Or maybe I need anger management. Either way, I need help. I'm going crazy, whether people want to believe it or not, and I don't know who to trust anymore. I can't trust anyone. Not my friends, not my family, definately not doctors (of any kind), hell, I can't even trust myself! It's horrible...
He was talking to some of his friends today after school and one of them asked if we were dating. He said no, though he wished we were but "someone won't say yes." And my reply? "With good reason." That was a mistake. Now he, Goldsbee, Zimmermann, and Van Dyke are going to be bugging me for that certain reason. If I told him though, I don't think he'd understand. I don't think he'd believe me, to be honest. He thinks he's the reason why I don't want to date him, but he's not. There's a much bigger reason, a reason I'm not willing to tell anyone...
*
Alicia got busted for Skittles again. She might be sent to Rehab for 3 weeks or social services might take her away from her mom and send her to her sister in Georgia.
Kelsey has a pedophile stalking her, which doesn't really surprise me but it does scare the hell out of me. I don't think she realizes how serious the matter is 'cause all she does is joke around about it. But, then again, maybe that's just her defense. I don't know..
Another one of my friend's father is becoming more and more abusive towards her and she continues to blame herself. Even if he was drunk, it doesn't matter. He had no right to hurt her. So, she might be sent to a Home or taken away from her family, too, 'cause someone reported the incident to the school's counselor.
Karissa told me about some of her issues with her father. God I didn't need to hear what she had to say. It was sickening, some of the stuff she told me. No wonder she's having problems.
And then there's me. My mom and I got into another fight before school. What about? My grades. She's a flipping moron and I swear to effing God I hate her with a passion! Then, when she was done and had nearly brought me to tears, she wanted to give me a hug. I was like, "No. Leave me alone." and I stalked off to my room. Boy did that piss her off even more. I'm also having friend problems. Sarah's barely talking to me now. She went to see Boogeyman with Andrea a month or so ago and ever since she's been best friends with her. I wish I could say I wasn't hurt by it, but the truth is... I am. It's driving me crazy! I'm to the point where I wish I could just hit everyone with a stick. A very pointy stick, at that. And then, to top everything off, I've been screaming at my sisters even more than usual and even threatening to hit them. It's horrible and whenever it happens I can't believe I've just said it.
Someone, Manuel I think, asked me if I was seeing a psychiatrist. I said no, and then asked why. He said, "Because you need to talk about your issues with someone. You seem to have a lot of emotional problems." Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need a psychiatrist. Or maybe I need anger management. Either way, I need help. I'm going crazy, whether people want to believe it or not, and I don't know who to trust anymore. I can't trust anyone. Not my friends, not my family, definately not doctors (of any kind), hell, I can't even trust myself! It's horrible...