(no subject)
There are some nights, where my life feels like I'm bailing out the boat with a thimble. Hell, I don't even know why I'm writing this now, I usually just delete this shit anyway. Main reason why my blogspot is so empty. I guess I just feel like ranting to LJ tonight.
It's like drowning, I guess. It's not like falling. When you're falling, at least you have some sort of direction, and you see the ground coming. Lots of dread time, but you know when it's coming. The rollercoaster metaphor isn't appropriate either. At least there, you've got the tracks and you know that it'll end in a bit- you just have to hang on tight.
Have you ever drowned? When you scramble and flail desperately to keep yourself above the water. You can't breathe, and you don't know which way to go. There's light though. There's some measure of hope. But personally, I find that it's this little glimmer that makes you desperate. It's the one that makes the experience all the worse.
I mean, when you know the shit's coming, you can commit to it. You just grit your teeth, smile, and meet it head on.
But when it taunts you like that? When you're all tired and weary, and it offers you some sort of hope? Like a sucker, you bite. Because you're desperate for any respite.
You bite. Hard. And then you feel the hook go through.
It's like drowning, I guess. It's not like falling. When you're falling, at least you have some sort of direction, and you see the ground coming. Lots of dread time, but you know when it's coming. The rollercoaster metaphor isn't appropriate either. At least there, you've got the tracks and you know that it'll end in a bit- you just have to hang on tight.
Have you ever drowned? When you scramble and flail desperately to keep yourself above the water. You can't breathe, and you don't know which way to go. There's light though. There's some measure of hope. But personally, I find that it's this little glimmer that makes you desperate. It's the one that makes the experience all the worse.
I mean, when you know the shit's coming, you can commit to it. You just grit your teeth, smile, and meet it head on.
But when it taunts you like that? When you're all tired and weary, and it offers you some sort of hope? Like a sucker, you bite. Because you're desperate for any respite.
You bite. Hard. And then you feel the hook go through.