Dispatch from Another night of Insufficient Paper Writing
I have lots of things to say. I have nothing to say. I want to see all of you, but in reality will see almost none of you. Summer comes, but my finals loom and more papers than I'm comfortable doing right now crowd on to be done by this time's next advent. There is a touch of tiny personal drama intermingled with a couple of sparks of hopeful forward motion in my life, and I finally initiated with my fraternity two weeks and a day ago. This is one of those entries where my mind wanders; I see everyone around me under stress and my own unsuccessful attempts at persevering and coping with it. Msr. de Lubac beckons me from the afternoon, and Rahner from the earliest suncracking of my delayed morning. I played music for a close female friend of mine tonight, and I wonder about much more than I need. I suppose wonder isn't really a sin, but the time for wonder is the time of freedom and not the time of stress. Even as I attempt to relight torches that I have extinguished with a different kind of fire, I wonder whether a fountain's bath wouldn't cool my soul. And then I wonder what a fountain's bath is under this metaphor anyway. It's just the kind of person that I am to wonder about things that would be better left alone, and as I seek to construct webs--finally laying down the kinds of friendships that are worth keeping--people shuffle out and about my life. For everything in life there is a season, but who's season is now?
Anyway; sorry I've been quiet this semester. It's a conglomeration of factors, and I am more distant from all of you than I used to be. I got confirmation that I can do my research on campus this summer, albeit on my own time and dime, but it's a start, and I think that doing research, even the kind you don't always get paid for, is a better use of my time than flipping burgers, pumping gas, or most any of the unrewarding and unbenefiting things that the young of our generation spend their summers doing. Truth be told, I envy those of you who continually find time and place to serve others. More to follow on my summer plans as dates are flushed out.
Yours in appreciation of the glories of life,
On and ever upward;
Ben
*edit: changed the spelling of the name of the theologian I'm writing the paper on to the proper way.*
Anyway; sorry I've been quiet this semester. It's a conglomeration of factors, and I am more distant from all of you than I used to be. I got confirmation that I can do my research on campus this summer, albeit on my own time and dime, but it's a start, and I think that doing research, even the kind you don't always get paid for, is a better use of my time than flipping burgers, pumping gas, or most any of the unrewarding and unbenefiting things that the young of our generation spend their summers doing. Truth be told, I envy those of you who continually find time and place to serve others. More to follow on my summer plans as dates are flushed out.
Yours in appreciation of the glories of life,
On and ever upward;
Ben
*edit: changed the spelling of the name of the theologian I'm writing the paper on to the proper way.*