Mostly an End of Year thing, but applicable
So, it's 3:25 am and I feel like writing. Here are 6 short notes that I won't ever send, including number four, which is written to a certain collective person-hood, but which feel somewhat useful to write all the same.
#1 To Mr. Unique and Special;
Hello. I am sorry to say that I don't know you personally well enough for anything I would say to you to mean anything, but there is a certain feeling I get from you, and that is that you live in a different world than the rest of us. I wouldn't feel the need to say anything, but your nearly constantly complain about some aspect of that, either in person or via the Internet. My hope is that the next semester teaches you a little bit more about the rest of the universe, so that the person you think you are is actually the person you are.
Regretfully, the boy down the hall.
#2 To the Boy who trusts Me;
With respect to this address, I'm sorry to say that I'm probably going to let you down, not in terms of trust, per se, but out of the sheer fact that I can't possibly live up to what I perceive to be your expectation of me. I think pretty highly of you and all that you are, and I think you've gone through some pretty spectacular misery of late. It is my hope that I will get to see you more and to do what I can for you. I just want you to know that I'm not perfect either.
In equal fairness and Philadelphian love, Ben.
#3 To the girl with whom I wouldn't have a chance if I tried;
I like to pretend the titular expression there is a joke, but it really isn't. That's okay. I mostly prefer friendsytimes, mostly because they don't come with any kind of crappy baggage. Right now you are the person who has the most of my well-wishing, even though other prayer-worthy endeavors might feel closer to home. You and boy #2 might also share his piece of advice, I'm not as wonderful as I seem to be sometimes, and you have seen me only through the most shaped lenses and beheld only the more gentlemanly aspects. I assure you there are other sides to that (dichotomously, you might say) too.
BB
#4 To Ms. Cognitive Dissonance;
You frustrate me more than I can really tell you right now. Your many-headedness and ability to follow me drag more daggers of uncomfortable feeling through my consciousness than any other thing I have ever encountered. Despite my current relaxed state, which does not forecast a heavy influx, at least as much as I can help it, I am still more troubled by you than I would ever like. I could talk about specific instances when you cast your coals at me, but I think leaving this unspecific is probably better for me right now. Suffice it to say, you have more power over me than I like, and I resent you, collectively, for it.
Someone you once knew, Ben.
#5 To the woman with a tongue like a whip;
I deserved the lashing you gave me the other morning more than I'm normally willing to admit, and although I'm sure to get a similar one at a point nearing, from a person on this list, I definitely needed to hear it from you. I join with you in hoping I take it properly to heart. Also, you mean more to me than I think you let yourself think sometimes.
Ben
#6 To the Woman who has yet to give me a tongue lashing;
Thank you for your recent generosity in my direction, I was happy to do whatever it took to be helpful to you in the small way that I did, and your generosity in response is a little overwhelming. (and just to clarify, as an edit: there shouldn't be any kind of dirty connotation there, you wild teenage reader) and it makes me incredibly thankful. I look forward to working with you in a more formal context next semester, and wish you the most pleasant winter solstice. Also, we should at the very least talk about the least formal gift of yours, for it brought me the kind of 2:30 am laughter that only one thing in the entire world brings.
Your insufficiently dedicated (but working on it) pupil,
BB
Happy Christmas Eve,
Ben
#1 To Mr. Unique and Special;
Hello. I am sorry to say that I don't know you personally well enough for anything I would say to you to mean anything, but there is a certain feeling I get from you, and that is that you live in a different world than the rest of us. I wouldn't feel the need to say anything, but your nearly constantly complain about some aspect of that, either in person or via the Internet. My hope is that the next semester teaches you a little bit more about the rest of the universe, so that the person you think you are is actually the person you are.
Regretfully, the boy down the hall.
#2 To the Boy who trusts Me;
With respect to this address, I'm sorry to say that I'm probably going to let you down, not in terms of trust, per se, but out of the sheer fact that I can't possibly live up to what I perceive to be your expectation of me. I think pretty highly of you and all that you are, and I think you've gone through some pretty spectacular misery of late. It is my hope that I will get to see you more and to do what I can for you. I just want you to know that I'm not perfect either.
In equal fairness and Philadelphian love, Ben.
#3 To the girl with whom I wouldn't have a chance if I tried;
I like to pretend the titular expression there is a joke, but it really isn't. That's okay. I mostly prefer friendsytimes, mostly because they don't come with any kind of crappy baggage. Right now you are the person who has the most of my well-wishing, even though other prayer-worthy endeavors might feel closer to home. You and boy #2 might also share his piece of advice, I'm not as wonderful as I seem to be sometimes, and you have seen me only through the most shaped lenses and beheld only the more gentlemanly aspects. I assure you there are other sides to that (dichotomously, you might say) too.
BB
#4 To Ms. Cognitive Dissonance;
You frustrate me more than I can really tell you right now. Your many-headedness and ability to follow me drag more daggers of uncomfortable feeling through my consciousness than any other thing I have ever encountered. Despite my current relaxed state, which does not forecast a heavy influx, at least as much as I can help it, I am still more troubled by you than I would ever like. I could talk about specific instances when you cast your coals at me, but I think leaving this unspecific is probably better for me right now. Suffice it to say, you have more power over me than I like, and I resent you, collectively, for it.
Someone you once knew, Ben.
#5 To the woman with a tongue like a whip;
I deserved the lashing you gave me the other morning more than I'm normally willing to admit, and although I'm sure to get a similar one at a point nearing, from a person on this list, I definitely needed to hear it from you. I join with you in hoping I take it properly to heart. Also, you mean more to me than I think you let yourself think sometimes.
Ben
#6 To the Woman who has yet to give me a tongue lashing;
Thank you for your recent generosity in my direction, I was happy to do whatever it took to be helpful to you in the small way that I did, and your generosity in response is a little overwhelming. (and just to clarify, as an edit: there shouldn't be any kind of dirty connotation there, you wild teenage reader) and it makes me incredibly thankful. I look forward to working with you in a more formal context next semester, and wish you the most pleasant winter solstice. Also, we should at the very least talk about the least formal gift of yours, for it brought me the kind of 2:30 am laughter that only one thing in the entire world brings.
Your insufficiently dedicated (but working on it) pupil,
BB
Happy Christmas Eve,
Ben