--Broken--
Things.. Suck.
Yesh, they do.
I still haven't gotten my period. I'm freaking.
I'm worried, but things have to get better sometime, right?
Hmm, I cut last night. *shames self* I'm pretty bored too. Bored, bored bored. Tired.. I need some sleep.
But I need to write. I need to release some shit from deep within my soul.
Ahh. I'm sick of crying every night. Sometimes I think of just letting my mom see "accidently" so maybe she will send me away, and I can get some help. You may know what its like to cry at night, and be mad, angry, upset. But you will never understand this pain rushing thru-out my whole body. It's like I'm on fire, and no one's here to put out he flames. It's like I'm breaking into a thousand peices, and no one is willing to help me glue myself back together. My thoughts are nothing but darkness, not even I can find the light switch.. The match, the light to block out these thoughts. Eh, things seem to fake, so pretend. I'm all alone. Drowning in my tears. My throat is raw, I cough alot, maybe because I sob myself to sleep. I cry until there are no more tears, and then I cry some more. I'm clawing at the cloth of pretend that covers me. I'm trying to get out, I don't want to be pretend! I want to smile, to laugh, to be happy!! I WANT THOSE THINGS TO BE TRUE!! All I can think about is this summer. Why are things to different now? Why can't I let go that vision of happiness and cling to something else, something new? I just want to go to bed and not have to dream of my happiness. I just want things to be okay..
I just want them to be.. okay.. again....
But no one will help..
As I drown in my tears..
Yesh, they do.
I still haven't gotten my period. I'm freaking.
I'm worried, but things have to get better sometime, right?
Hmm, I cut last night. *shames self* I'm pretty bored too. Bored, bored bored. Tired.. I need some sleep.
But I need to write. I need to release some shit from deep within my soul.
Ahh. I'm sick of crying every night. Sometimes I think of just letting my mom see "accidently" so maybe she will send me away, and I can get some help. You may know what its like to cry at night, and be mad, angry, upset. But you will never understand this pain rushing thru-out my whole body. It's like I'm on fire, and no one's here to put out he flames. It's like I'm breaking into a thousand peices, and no one is willing to help me glue myself back together. My thoughts are nothing but darkness, not even I can find the light switch.. The match, the light to block out these thoughts. Eh, things seem to fake, so pretend. I'm all alone. Drowning in my tears. My throat is raw, I cough alot, maybe because I sob myself to sleep. I cry until there are no more tears, and then I cry some more. I'm clawing at the cloth of pretend that covers me. I'm trying to get out, I don't want to be pretend! I want to smile, to laugh, to be happy!! I WANT THOSE THINGS TO BE TRUE!! All I can think about is this summer. Why are things to different now? Why can't I let go that vision of happiness and cling to something else, something new? I just want to go to bed and not have to dream of my happiness. I just want things to be okay..
I just want them to be.. okay.. again....
But no one will help..
As I drown in my tears..