Inquinatum; Chapter 01
Chapter 01;
PG-13, however, some m/m and sexual references/innuendos. Read at your own risk. :)
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It lies not in our power to love, or hate,
For will in us is over-rul’d by fate.
- Christopher Marlowe, Hero and Leander
We were young and happy. We didn’t know the meaning of tragedy or sorrow or pain. The biggest tragedy was missing out on a favourite television show or forgetting a teddy bear to a long road trip. The biggest sorrow was not seeing each other, the biggest pain - a cut from a fall.
Alec might not have been the nicest brother in the world, he was older after all, and he liked to torment me on a daily basis. He would tease me and push me around. He would scare me and give me hell now and then.
That didn’t stop him from being my only and favourite.
He was the best, and was always there for me. He cared for me and protected me, didn’t let the school bully touch me. He always stood up for me. When I was sad, and it wasn't because of him, he was always there for me.
And I was his carer. I was there when he got the big flu and lay in bed for weeks with the highest of fevers. I sat beside him through all of it, fed him, cleaned him. I was there for him when he broke his arm, when he got into a fight and broke his nose.
We always made each other smile and laugh, even when nobody else could. We re inseparable and together, we were one whole.
There were no secrets between us. We told each other everything there was ever to tell.
So when he disappeared during a cold winter night…
I didn’t hesitate to go out into the cold to look for him. I didn’t wake our parents up, I was hoping he just wanted some time alone and for me to comfort him.
The night was cold, dark and windy. Flowers froze in their places, leaves didn't move. it was almost like a kingdom of ice and darkness.
I searched all night for Alec, checked all the places he could have hid in, called his name over and over but I didn’t find him. I returned home empty-handed and for the first time - alone.
I pretended to find out about Alec’s disappearance only the following morning when I supposedly woke up and didn’t see him in bed. I lied to my parents and perhaps it was out of fear that I never told them anything. The police came and asked questions, but I only shook my head and stayed on the same story, “I woke up and he wasn’t there.”
They searched for Alec for days and weeks and months but eventually they gave up. He couldn’t have lasted for so long out in the winter, they said and ended the search. My parents gave up soon after. Everyone did. Everyone but me.
From the night of his disappearance, a year passed exactly. It was just as dark and cold as the night Alec vanished and I was sitting alone in the lounge, watching the snow steadily fall onto the ground outside.
And I saw him.
He was walking towards the door from the woods, looking completely fine. He was wearing a vest with fur - something our family could have never been able to afford. He didn’t look like he had been kidnapped and tormented or hurt. I ran to the door to open it for him.
Alec had returned, only this time, he wasn’t Alec… at least, that’s not what he called himself. He said his name was Caius and refused to tell me more. He stood there, pale and significantly skinnier than I had last remembered him.
I took him in and made some warm soup for him. I didn't dare wake our parents and we stayed silent.
While he ate, I sat down with him and studied him. His blonde hair had gone completely silver and his cheerful eyes were grey and distant.
“Where have you been?” I had asked, worried he might have been hurt in a way I couldn’t see, but Alec only shook his head and looked away.
That was the first time he didn’t tell me something. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the last either.
The police questioned Alec softly at first, then they grew annoyed when he didn’t tell them anything and grew harsher. They even asked our parents on a daily basis, and me.
But our replies were always the same.
“I don’t remember.”
“He didn’t tell us.”
“He didn’t tell me.”
And so, as before, the police gave up.
With each passing day, Alec grew more and more distant. He became quiet. He became irritable. He never responded to his name. We rarely talked. As winter came closer, he began to look out the window more and more. It seemed like he was waiting for something.
Or someone, as I later found out.
He stayed around for a while, just around a year, and then just as it began to snow heavier and neared the middle of winter, he vanished again.
However, this time I caught him. He was heading away from the house, but instead of calling out to him, something inside had told me to stay quiet and follow him, to find out where he was going.
I had quickly dressed and ran out after him, careful to not make any noise or wake up our parents. I followed him through the bushes, and he didn’t make it hard to follow him. He never looked back, it was like I was a ghost that he couldn’t see or hear.
A few years later, I wondered if he had wanted me to follow him.
When he finally stopped in a clearing, I hid behind a bush and watched on. I sat there for about a half an hour, watching him stand still. I was all cold and uncomfortable and ready to stand but suddenly a woman, a beautiful woman in a white almost bride-like dress, stepped out from the trees.
I wanted to yell out to him to run but Alec didn’t look scared. He simply hugged her and smiled. As they stepped apart, the lady smiled softly and caringly and held out her hand to him, “Are your ready to go, Caius?” she had asked. Alec didn’t even hesitate. “Yes, I am.”
I couldn’t hold it and jumped up. “Ready to go where?” I questioned.
I remember the moment as if it happened yesterday. The two turned around to look at me. Alec’s face shifted to surprise, and then to horror as if he had been caught doing something very bad. The woman remained calm.
“Caius,” she had said in a voice so soft it forever stuck into my mind, “Who is this?” She asked as if she already knew who I was, asked as if to ask just out of politeness, for the sake of it.
She smiled at me, softer than my mother had ever looked at me. It didn’t feel right.
Behind her, Alec had shifted to look away, “It’s Micah, my adopted brother.”
At these words, I had looked to Alec but he avoided my eyes.
I pleaded him to explain, but Alec only stiffened. The way he replied was cold and I knew I had lost him to whoever this woman was.
“My name is Caius and she is my real mother. There is nothing more for you to know!”
A strange flame burned in his eyes.
The night was cold and the wind blew strong. I had refused to believe, wanted it to be a lie but I saw the resemblance in their features.
Alec, he was still Alec to me, softened. He asked me to join him and the woman whom he called Jasmine. He promised me our lives would be better, far better that they are now. We would have a better home and that I would be like family.
But I didn’t want to be ‘like-family’ with them. I refused and ran home in tears.
I told our parents that a lady in white had taken Alec away the very next morning. Father didn't hesitate to call the police. He thought that just because I had seen her, they would have a track to follow.
The police searched high and low, them combed through the forest many times. They brought in dogs but again, after a few months, gave up and closed the case, for the third time.
Many months passed. The snow fell from the sky and melted into the ground many times. Things changed. There was no more laughter in the house.
I had hoped he would return… but he never did.
Three years later, both my parents caught a deadly flu and died. I was underage, and so was sent to live with my aunt.
Over the years that I spent with my aunt, we grew close together. She made me forget about what happened most of the time.
We weren’t just aunt and nephew, we were best friends. She knew everything about me, and I knew everything about her. We were as close as we could be. Shamelessly, I could admit we were closer than Alec and I ever were.
She helped me through my studies and inspired me to do many things. She introduced me to literature through many books that she made me read…
…and she taught me to paint and see the nature with all it’s beauty, to really look into things.
She helped me through my nightmares, my stress and all my hardships. But I swear I had some ill-fate tagged to me because just five years later…
She died as well. Apparently, she had a tumour in her brain that was discovered too late or something… The doctors couldn’t save her. I was only seventeen when she died, not even of legal age yet. I was supposed to be sent to live with another family for I had none of my own left.
I headed home to find someone waiting for me in her room.
Alec…Caius…
There had been a change to his appearance once more. He had lost an eye. There was a bandage over it instead.
He held me while I cried. I didn’t ask and he didn’t explain anything. All he said was that he was done with his mother, and that he would never go back to her again. I believed him; I had nobody else.
And perhaps in my sorrow, in my loneliness, I didn’t know what I was doing. Maybe it was the inner feelings of love towards him from the young years that made me come so close…
…but we did what no brothers ever do.
He asked me to go with him.
He didn’t need to ask twice.
And now, years later, waking to the golden morning rays of the sunlight that streamed through the blinds and into the room, who cares what we did those years ago? Who cares what happened, where he went?
Fate has this sick humor of giving what we've always wanted in a strange way, a way sometimes we don't like. So eventually, we all end up somewhere someday, with or without what or who we love.
And besides, if what he said is true, it's not like we're brothers.
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A/N: So yeah, my first proper chapter of Inquinatum.... hopefully all is good. Please leave some feedback if you want, I would appreciate that ^.^
Thank you to amochan8878 and saanst for being my inspirations and providing tips/hints/help!! ^.^