FUCKING FRUSTRATED!!!
So Like OMG!!! I am freaking out! I just broke up with roy mostly cause I was MISERABLE with him! Not that I dont care about him, cause I do soooo much just that I didnt feel it anymore and we just werent growing together anymore we were growing apart... Then Brad happened... And Yes I cheated on Roy with him... I dont know why... maybe cause he made me smile when no one else did... maybe cause he ACTUALLY cared about me! Maybe cause I find him so hot just his personality! But thats when shit happened... I told myself over and over I wasnt going to fall for him... I wasnt going to rush anything... I wasnt going to go from one relationship to another!!! And here I am... texting him, calling him, getting mad when he doesnt reply BACK! getting mad when he doesnt want to hang out with me... getting mad when I think about him ALL THE FUCKING TIME! Go out of my way to make him happy, smile, or ANYTHING really but I get nothing... Now Im over looking things and texted him something That I know im going to regret "I think we should stop talking for awhile..." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!!! why do I do this EVERYTIME!!! I play hard to get I crack, I play easy and I ditch him... I dont know what to do all I know is that Im a FUCKING RETARD cause he would be the most amazing friend, and he has been and now Im driving myself CRAZY !!! Waiting with my cell in my hand hoping that he will reply (which I know he wont). And if he does reply ARGGGH I shouldnt even care... But I do. I put all my eggs in one basket and now im jumping up and down smashing all of them... Should have listen to EVERYONE but I didnt... should have listen to myself but that never happens... Im going to go smoke a bowl and watch a movie!!!