(no subject)
i almost lost... almost walked away from a life i've fought so hard to build. a life without the masks encompassing me as a whole. without the facade of perfection encamping me. my life used to be all about what others wanted. i lived for a purpose i wasn't really sure about. i almost walked away from living. almost finished a letter of doom and sent it straight to the grim reaper for him to deliver it to the one whose changed my life....
even as i sit here, watching her play with my cat... seeing her smile... blowing her nose b/c she's allergic to the little felines she loves so much. the fact she has so much homework to be done but here she is. here she is not knowing i'm sitting here staring, admiring the woman she is. as she scrunches her face in concentration writing, just to let Achilles distract her to a smile. i almost walked away.
i sat there writing, crossing every T dotting every I as if crossing out all hope in life. maybe it sounds melodramatic but you never realize what you hold dear in life until you understand what it would be like to lose... to lose them all because of fear. most things i've ever walked away from was b/c of fear, doubt. i'm amased at how an emotion can have so much control. i almost became a shell of everything i am.
i almost became a hypocrite (not saying i'm not) drowning everything i hold near and dear to my heart....fighting for love. fighting for what's right.
she has taught me what it really means to love. i'm not going to allow family, others views, or society to take that away....
actually this holistic cataylst is calling me to go fulfill certain needs... i must abide to her wishes:)
"Marching Bands Of Manhattan"
If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson
If I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.
I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown [4x]
Your love is gonna drown [4x]
Your love is gonna...
even as i sit here, watching her play with my cat... seeing her smile... blowing her nose b/c she's allergic to the little felines she loves so much. the fact she has so much homework to be done but here she is. here she is not knowing i'm sitting here staring, admiring the woman she is. as she scrunches her face in concentration writing, just to let Achilles distract her to a smile. i almost walked away.
i sat there writing, crossing every T dotting every I as if crossing out all hope in life. maybe it sounds melodramatic but you never realize what you hold dear in life until you understand what it would be like to lose... to lose them all because of fear. most things i've ever walked away from was b/c of fear, doubt. i'm amased at how an emotion can have so much control. i almost became a shell of everything i am.
i almost became a hypocrite (not saying i'm not) drowning everything i hold near and dear to my heart....fighting for love. fighting for what's right.
she has taught me what it really means to love. i'm not going to allow family, others views, or society to take that away....
actually this holistic cataylst is calling me to go fulfill certain needs... i must abide to her wishes:)
"Marching Bands Of Manhattan"
If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan,
I'd bring it to where you are
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson
If I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings.
I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you said
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I'll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in.
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown [4x]
Your love is gonna drown [4x]
Your love is gonna...