Another relevation- these keep coming just like the runs, nah?
As sometimes happens when you spend a great deal of your days alone, I have suddenly realized another shocking idea...
Everyone has heard the belief that life is what you make it. We all know that. Many (especially me) have trouble actually living that way, but we are all at least familiar with it. But for those who no longer have the courage to see things that way, taking action is like a distant dream. However...
Did you ever think about something more immediate than trying to physically re-shape your life? How about how you actually interpret the things that already are? Let's pretend that with your wounded psyche (maybe you are anorexic, terminally depressed, or some other mental state that prevents trying to change your own life because your idea of how to do so is flawed in itself) you are not able to recognize even what the right action would be. An anorexic would say, "Starve myself even less,"; a depression case, "Try even harder to reach death." These people obviously are not capable of taking action, because that action would only make things worse. So that's where interpretation comes in.
In my case, my problem involves identity. A major part of this is interaction with people- or specifically, a concern about a lack of... So I worry frequently about people. I need people- for friendship, for relationship, for looking after and taking care of. But I've let this concern become a big thing. Not having friends in my area, having limited or even no contact with my friends in my home area- these all have transformed into something that is constantly on my mind all the time. Right now, I don't yet have any constant, close friends in Charlotte, and I hear from Fayetteville less and less. In Acid & Neko's case, it's been months. And it's really sad.
But just yesterday, something dawned on me. It wasn't some 'out of the blue, never been thought of thing', in fact, I view most of my life (food acquisition, money, losing loved ones to death, etc.) this way. For some reason though, I had never connected this idea with the living. So here it is:
Instead of lamenting the lack of, or disconnection from, people important to you, treasure what contact you do receive, treasure what connection you've had with, the people important to you.
And that changed everything. Because even though none of them are close, I do at least have contact with people here, and it is enjoyable. Because even though I can't see or talk to them now, my close friends back home still do exist, and the times before with them are lasting memories.
With this, I have remembered to appreciate another precious commodity- one that often disappears just as quickly as it reveals itself- human fellowship. How long did it take me to understand this? At least I understand it now, while I can enjoy the fruits of it. The real tragedy is all the wasted time I spent agonizing in ignorance.
Outlook is everything...
Everyone has heard the belief that life is what you make it. We all know that. Many (especially me) have trouble actually living that way, but we are all at least familiar with it. But for those who no longer have the courage to see things that way, taking action is like a distant dream. However...
Did you ever think about something more immediate than trying to physically re-shape your life? How about how you actually interpret the things that already are? Let's pretend that with your wounded psyche (maybe you are anorexic, terminally depressed, or some other mental state that prevents trying to change your own life because your idea of how to do so is flawed in itself) you are not able to recognize even what the right action would be. An anorexic would say, "Starve myself even less,"; a depression case, "Try even harder to reach death." These people obviously are not capable of taking action, because that action would only make things worse. So that's where interpretation comes in.
In my case, my problem involves identity. A major part of this is interaction with people- or specifically, a concern about a lack of... So I worry frequently about people. I need people- for friendship, for relationship, for looking after and taking care of. But I've let this concern become a big thing. Not having friends in my area, having limited or even no contact with my friends in my home area- these all have transformed into something that is constantly on my mind all the time. Right now, I don't yet have any constant, close friends in Charlotte, and I hear from Fayetteville less and less. In Acid & Neko's case, it's been months. And it's really sad.
But just yesterday, something dawned on me. It wasn't some 'out of the blue, never been thought of thing', in fact, I view most of my life (food acquisition, money, losing loved ones to death, etc.) this way. For some reason though, I had never connected this idea with the living. So here it is:
Instead of lamenting the lack of, or disconnection from, people important to you, treasure what contact you do receive, treasure what connection you've had with, the people important to you.
And that changed everything. Because even though none of them are close, I do at least have contact with people here, and it is enjoyable. Because even though I can't see or talk to them now, my close friends back home still do exist, and the times before with them are lasting memories.
With this, I have remembered to appreciate another precious commodity- one that often disappears just as quickly as it reveals itself- human fellowship. How long did it take me to understand this? At least I understand it now, while I can enjoy the fruits of it. The real tragedy is all the wasted time I spent agonizing in ignorance.
Outlook is everything...