The politics of pee and poo
I can't wait until the day that peeing and pooing in Canada are no longer politicized acts, allowed only for the privileged majority. You'd think that bodily functions wouldn't be politicized, since it isn't like people can choose to not go to the bathroom, and yet, if I, as a disabled person am out in public in a major Canadian city, the simple fact is that there is little to no assurance that I will find an accessible bathroom.
So what do I mean by the politics of pee and poo? If tomorrow we woke up and all the female bathrooms were gone, or only Whites were allowed to use them, there would be outrage, but somehow when a disabled person needs to go to the bathroom, it's a-okay to not allow them. Or, they are required to pay for the privilege. For example, I have been on work training where the training facility did not have an accessible bathroom, so I had to go to a nearby cafe or fast food place, which of course, obligates me to buy something. I'm lucky I can afford to do this; not everyone can.
Accessible bathrooms are still the exception, not the rule, whether we are talking about Big Corps or small independent businesses, new buildings or old. I recently contributed to an Ottawa food blog a list of wheelchair-friendly restaurants, but as I was writing my list, I was sadly reminded that I could only comment on the accessibility of the restaurant entrances, and not the bathrooms. I'm just so used to bar/restaurant bathrooms not being accessible, that my usual strategy now is to drink as little as possible and not to stay too long. So ultimately, I usually have no idea which restaurant bathrooms are accessible or not.
Other times, there is a "sort of" accessible bathroom, which can be even worse than none at all. Today, I was at an all-day workshop in a hotel conference room. At breaktime, several of us head to the bathroom. It turns out the bathroom beside the conference room is not accessible. Everyone is shocked and outraged - this is Canada, where everyone is equal, how could this be?? Trying to help, one of the ladies goes to the front desk to enquire about another bathroom. I go down the hall for a bit to see if there is another bathroom somewhere (there isn't), then I head to the front desk also to enquire. After waiting in line, I ask the clerk if there is an accessible bathroom on another floor and she looks at me with utter bewilderment. The other clerk is on the phone, and the lady who went ahead of me to enquire tells me the other clerk is calling someone to inquire if it is o.k. for me to use the bathroom in the hotel's accessible suite. So now the entire hotel lobby is intimately aware of my need and inability to pee. What is normally a private and personal act is now public, which is often the case with disability matters.
I head back to the conference room to get my coat, as I know from experience that whenever "someone has to call someone" it can take a while, and we were only given 10 min for break. Plus, of course, I still had to pee, although luckily not yet urgently (another strategy I've learned is to go pee before it is super-urgent, because I never know how long it is going to take to find an accessible bathroom). After getting my coat on, I re-enquire at the desk - and the clerk tells me the other lady told her I was going elsewhere, and can I hold on because she now has to re-phone whoever it is who is the "allower of peeing". A few more minutes pass, and huzzah, I get the all-clear to use the bathroom in the accessible suite. Naturally, I arrive back to the conference late, but I don't mention to anyone why. At lunchtime, the instructor comes up to me and says something along the lines of she had no prior knowledge about the bathroom situation (I guess someone felt compelled to tell her what happened), and then she goes on to tell me I should inform the event organizer so this doesn't happen again, blah, blah, blah... (because mentioning the wheelchair-accessibility of the event directly on the event poster would be too difficult I guess. Much easier to send the "special" person on a wild goose chase).
It's a pretty typical response when ABs discover that a disabled person in their midst was denied accommodation - push responsibility back onto the disabled person. It was my fault I couldn't go pee because I didn't inform people ahead of time I needed to. The thing is, I usually do enquire about these sorts of things ahead of time, but I was so busy last week, I didn't get a chance. It's a risk I take not calling ahead, but I accept it as a risk. I simply don't have time to plan ahead each and everything I do 100% of the time. But instead of dealing with my issue my way, I have to sit through yet another lecture about how not only is it my fault I wasn't accommodated, but that I must proceed with obtaining those accommodations in the way prescribed by people who aren't even (visibly) disabled themselves. Not only am I not given accommodations, but I'm also not allowed to decline them if I choose. I'm forced to uphold the notion of inclusion, even if it only a superficial way, because an AB might look/feel bad. Oh, and of course I have no right to get angry about any of this because it's no one's fault that I'm disabled (implying that ABs are absolved of trying the improve the situation, despite the fact they are the only ones with the power to change the situation).
The next time I have to pee, I go to the front desk where I have to re-explain everything, because there is a different clerk there now. Again, not at all a surprise for me, but a total surprise to the lady next to me who asks me if this happens often, and I tell her yes.
So what do I mean by the politics of pee and poo? If tomorrow we woke up and all the female bathrooms were gone, or only Whites were allowed to use them, there would be outrage, but somehow when a disabled person needs to go to the bathroom, it's a-okay to not allow them. Or, they are required to pay for the privilege. For example, I have been on work training where the training facility did not have an accessible bathroom, so I had to go to a nearby cafe or fast food place, which of course, obligates me to buy something. I'm lucky I can afford to do this; not everyone can.
Accessible bathrooms are still the exception, not the rule, whether we are talking about Big Corps or small independent businesses, new buildings or old. I recently contributed to an Ottawa food blog a list of wheelchair-friendly restaurants, but as I was writing my list, I was sadly reminded that I could only comment on the accessibility of the restaurant entrances, and not the bathrooms. I'm just so used to bar/restaurant bathrooms not being accessible, that my usual strategy now is to drink as little as possible and not to stay too long. So ultimately, I usually have no idea which restaurant bathrooms are accessible or not.
Other times, there is a "sort of" accessible bathroom, which can be even worse than none at all. Today, I was at an all-day workshop in a hotel conference room. At breaktime, several of us head to the bathroom. It turns out the bathroom beside the conference room is not accessible. Everyone is shocked and outraged - this is Canada, where everyone is equal, how could this be?? Trying to help, one of the ladies goes to the front desk to enquire about another bathroom. I go down the hall for a bit to see if there is another bathroom somewhere (there isn't), then I head to the front desk also to enquire. After waiting in line, I ask the clerk if there is an accessible bathroom on another floor and she looks at me with utter bewilderment. The other clerk is on the phone, and the lady who went ahead of me to enquire tells me the other clerk is calling someone to inquire if it is o.k. for me to use the bathroom in the hotel's accessible suite. So now the entire hotel lobby is intimately aware of my need and inability to pee. What is normally a private and personal act is now public, which is often the case with disability matters.
I head back to the conference room to get my coat, as I know from experience that whenever "someone has to call someone" it can take a while, and we were only given 10 min for break. Plus, of course, I still had to pee, although luckily not yet urgently (another strategy I've learned is to go pee before it is super-urgent, because I never know how long it is going to take to find an accessible bathroom). After getting my coat on, I re-enquire at the desk - and the clerk tells me the other lady told her I was going elsewhere, and can I hold on because she now has to re-phone whoever it is who is the "allower of peeing". A few more minutes pass, and huzzah, I get the all-clear to use the bathroom in the accessible suite. Naturally, I arrive back to the conference late, but I don't mention to anyone why. At lunchtime, the instructor comes up to me and says something along the lines of she had no prior knowledge about the bathroom situation (I guess someone felt compelled to tell her what happened), and then she goes on to tell me I should inform the event organizer so this doesn't happen again, blah, blah, blah... (because mentioning the wheelchair-accessibility of the event directly on the event poster would be too difficult I guess. Much easier to send the "special" person on a wild goose chase).
It's a pretty typical response when ABs discover that a disabled person in their midst was denied accommodation - push responsibility back onto the disabled person. It was my fault I couldn't go pee because I didn't inform people ahead of time I needed to. The thing is, I usually do enquire about these sorts of things ahead of time, but I was so busy last week, I didn't get a chance. It's a risk I take not calling ahead, but I accept it as a risk. I simply don't have time to plan ahead each and everything I do 100% of the time. But instead of dealing with my issue my way, I have to sit through yet another lecture about how not only is it my fault I wasn't accommodated, but that I must proceed with obtaining those accommodations in the way prescribed by people who aren't even (visibly) disabled themselves. Not only am I not given accommodations, but I'm also not allowed to decline them if I choose. I'm forced to uphold the notion of inclusion, even if it only a superficial way, because an AB might look/feel bad. Oh, and of course I have no right to get angry about any of this because it's no one's fault that I'm disabled (implying that ABs are absolved of trying the improve the situation, despite the fact they are the only ones with the power to change the situation).
The next time I have to pee, I go to the front desk where I have to re-explain everything, because there is a different clerk there now. Again, not at all a surprise for me, but a total surprise to the lady next to me who asks me if this happens often, and I tell her yes.