National Lampoon's Ohioan Vacation
It was quite a vacation. It was actually a pretty horrible vacation on paper since all we did was shop and eat. And I don't shop... I didn't even spend a cent when I was on this voyage. That's all we had to do since we've done just about everything there already.
I did see some family, and anyways, Ohio isn't a bad place to do nothing at. Ohio can be pretty visually, and whatever other senses there are, nice. More so when everything's flooded and it's dreary and cloudy so then everything's really green, like the Emerald Isle (I'm a psycho). But it was dry and hot this year instead of the relatively cool, flooding of the past two visits.
There really wasn't anything interesting that happened. I saw Marylin Manson's little Mansion located in pretty much the middle on nowhere down some dirt road. But anyways, the house was like an old English structure--if that makes any sense--with probably three stories. You couldn't really see it because it's surrounded by a nice forest. Noteably, it had two pillars (which formed a gate) with upside down holy crusade shields with crosses on them, so the crosses were upside down and so that's satanic.
That's about it. The best part of the trip was being chased by killer flies and then I guess going to Saint Simons Island not thta I did anything there.
Here's some pictures to look at. You have to view them, because if you're actually reading this (even if "no one" is reading this), that proves you have nothing better to do. And anyways, viewing these pictures is like being on the God aweful vacation and everyone loves vacations. So click here... But don't look at the people in the pictures. That's rude and inconsiderate. Remember, those people have feelings too.
What awfulness.
The thing below is just for me but if you want to skim thru the unorganized mess, alright. I thought I'd document what we (my mother, brother, and self) did (and I ate) everyday. It might be interesting, to myself, to look at a year from now, but not you.
Monday June 6th- Left Naples, stopped over in Savannah, GA. Ate at a Ruby Tuesday's... ate Veggie Burger
Tuesday- Left and Stopped over at Beckley, WV. Ate a couple Krispy Kremes; For dinner ate at a Cracker Barrel; had Green Beans, "Dumplins", and Apple Sauce.
Wednesday- Left; went to Fenton Art Glass at Parkersburg, WV; took the tour; went on to Aunt's house in East Rochester, OH where we stayed for the majority of 2+ weeks. Went to place called "Grinders" in Minerva, OH. Had something called the "Classic White Pizza" and had some chips with alfredo-ee sauce as an appetizer.
Thursday- Nothing; Went to Alliance; shopping for nothing; ate at "Don Poncho's"; had 2 cheese enchildas and mex rice. Went to Salem; more shopping; had some Black Raspberry Ice Cream.
Friday- Saw other Aunt from Washington, D.C.; ate at "Mustard Seed" in Akron, OH. Some kind of nautral and organic food market and restuarant; had Pitas with Tabouili and Hummus, and also grape leaves. Went to Massillon Museum and had a Lieberman's cream stick donut. Went to Belden Village Mall in North Canton.
Saturday- Went to Orrville (home of Smuckers; jams and like-crap) mini-train festival where we re-met "the other Aunt". Went to Kidron; shops. Went to Wilmot; met Grandfather; ate at "Amish Door" there; had salad bar. Went to "the other Aunt's" hotel; said good-byes.
Sunday- Nothing; Went to Belden Village Mall once again. Went to Borders about a mile from a township or something of that sort called "Marchand". Ate at Bennigans; over much consideration had a Chicken Vagina (Fagita) with steamed broccoli and rice pilaf.
Monday June 13th- Ate at "Meldrums"; had a stupid ritualistic coney and an appetizer of deep-fried steamed vegetables, deep-fried part was disgusting. Went to Mother's friend's house.
Tuesday- Amish Country. Went to Sugar Creek; Ate at "Dutch Valley"; had green beans, corn, cheesy carrots, and mashed potatoes. Went to Berlin; checked into hotel; went to shops around there and Heinz cheese factory. Back to hotel and went to Walnut Creek; ate at Der Dutchman or something like that; had a grilled cheese sandwich and some raspberry pie.
Wednesday- More Amish. Went back to Walnut Creek; thne to Berlin; then south and ate at "Chilat in the Valley" or so; had salad bar and grilled chicken though ordered the grilled cheese; cheese is so close to chicken. Went to New Philadelphia Antique Mall.
Thursday- Went to Hartville; ran into quite a nice downpour of rain; ate at the Hartville Kitchen; had a tossed salad and strawberry shortcak. Went to Hartville Flea-ish Market. Then back to North Canton... maybe Borders again, and then "Pancho's"; Had 2 cheese enchiladas, mex rice and beans.
Friday- Went to Massillon Library for a few hours. Went to mother's friend's house again. She left and I had nothing to do, but go on computer. Had some 9:30 PM Donatos' Pizza with mushroom, spinach, green peppers, tomatoes, olives, and probably more on it.
Saturday- Went out west; Ate at "The PineTree Barn"; had the "Gourmet California Style Pizza" that ended up having chicken on it with barbecue sauce instead of tomato sauce. Went to Wooster; home of dying Rubbermaid. Then went to Massillon and they had some big event downtown with Cars, giveaways, and music. I for the most part just read my Lewis Black book in the car. There we meant one of mother's other friends, but I don't care.
Sunday- Went to my Grandfather's house a long way's away near a lake called Clendening Lake and the nearest town being Freeport, OH. He has a little farm going with a bunch of ducks and geese, probably 5 peacocks, 10 or so turkeys, plenty of hens and chickens, and about 15 goats. Had a sandwich, baked beans, and macaroni salad or something there.
Monday June 20th- Went to some apple farm and primarily produce store in Canfield. Then to Columbiana; ate at some Amish/Dutch restaurant; had the salad bar.
Tuesday- Went to Lakewood just west of Cleveland; mother shopped at some hippie clothing store; then went to Aladin's; Indian, as in India, food; had a "pita pitza" with eggplant, tomatoes, spinach, toppled with some feta cheese. Then went over to downtown Cleveland and stayed at a hotel called the Renaissance. Shortly after six we walked a fairly short distance to the Indians vs. Red Sox game. Indians were pretty horrible and Red Sox pretty good. Final score: 9-2.
Wednesday- Went to Beechwoood Place Mall. Ate at "Famiglia" pizzeria there. Had slice of brocolli, spinach, tomato, and maybe more pizza. Went to another Borders. Went to Canton; ate at "Taggerts" had a garden salad.
Thursday- Went to New Philadelphia... pretty depressing place... met my Grandfather and ate as a Chinese Buffett. Then went to a New Philadelphia park that had a mini-fair everynight and a miniature golf course. Played that thing won the first 9 holes by two strokes, but gave up on the 2nd half and lost be two strokes.
Friday- Ate at place called "Nichole's"; had grilled cheese, "Vegetable", and French Fies. Went to a terribly pathetic Canton Mall. Went to Alliance for some reason.
Saturday- Left Ohio... Stayed at Rock Hill, SC. Ate at a deli called something like McAllisters Deli. Had some kind of salad on a piece of flatbread with ceasarish dressing. It was surprisingly good... especially the pita-ish bread.
Sunday- Left and then stopped at St. Simons Island; stayed in the downtowniest area about 300 feet from a beach. Ate at "May 4th" I guess; Had the "Seafood Fettucine"; "garden salad", "French bread", and Shrimp, Scallops, and crab bits in alfredo creamness with fettucine noodles; it was too creamy and so a bit unappetizing.
Monday June 27th- Came home; but before that stopped at some outlet mall in Ellenton... between Tampa and Sarasota. Ate "Villa Pizza" there and had more of the same vegetable pizza.
Holy shit, that was long.