Yes, I am alive
I have no internet. I haven't died, just disappeared.
I am not doing as well as I would like. It's not easy for a woman to find a full time job around here. I'm trying.
I thought things would be different at home. Of course, everything is the same. The selfishness, the greed, the hate. It's hard for me to cope. I'm not that strong. I think I'm falling again, only this time there is no one to pick me up.
I'm a big girl now. I'm an adult. I should be able to take care of myself. I'm a scared little girl with no one to turn to. I'm lost and lonely but I put myself here. I will be strong. I will carry on. There's not much more I can do. Things could always be worse.
I cry a lot now. Late at night when I'm all alone. I can barely sleep. (I never could sleep anyway) No one is here to take my hand, to hold me tight, to clean up my boo-boos. But I'm an indepentant woman. I'm a survior. I've been through much worse and made it out. This is just another test to see how strong I really am. Well, you'll see. You all will see.
Life is pointless. My exsistance is pointless. But I'm trucking along just like everyone else. I have "friends" that make me laugh. I guess that's all I have right now.
Ehh. I'm doing fine. I miss you all. (I miss you most Jessssss) I won't be coming to visit when my family does in Dec. It's too soon for me. (Jess you better come visit me soooon)
I am free? ..... Or will I will I always be held down by the overbearing hands of depression. I wish I could just be happy. I wish I could stop hurting myself and make myself feel better. I wish someone would hold me. I'm just a scared little girl that is putting on mommy's makeup and trying fool the world. It doesn't last for long.
*sigh*
I am not doing as well as I would like. It's not easy for a woman to find a full time job around here. I'm trying.
I thought things would be different at home. Of course, everything is the same. The selfishness, the greed, the hate. It's hard for me to cope. I'm not that strong. I think I'm falling again, only this time there is no one to pick me up.
I'm a big girl now. I'm an adult. I should be able to take care of myself. I'm a scared little girl with no one to turn to. I'm lost and lonely but I put myself here. I will be strong. I will carry on. There's not much more I can do. Things could always be worse.
I cry a lot now. Late at night when I'm all alone. I can barely sleep. (I never could sleep anyway) No one is here to take my hand, to hold me tight, to clean up my boo-boos. But I'm an indepentant woman. I'm a survior. I've been through much worse and made it out. This is just another test to see how strong I really am. Well, you'll see. You all will see.
Life is pointless. My exsistance is pointless. But I'm trucking along just like everyone else. I have "friends" that make me laugh. I guess that's all I have right now.
Ehh. I'm doing fine. I miss you all. (I miss you most Jessssss) I won't be coming to visit when my family does in Dec. It's too soon for me. (Jess you better come visit me soooon)
I am free? ..... Or will I will I always be held down by the overbearing hands of depression. I wish I could just be happy. I wish I could stop hurting myself and make myself feel better. I wish someone would hold me. I'm just a scared little girl that is putting on mommy's makeup and trying fool the world. It doesn't last for long.
*sigh*