Writing spree
As the title indicates, I've gone on a writing spree. 2 poems within 20 minutes. I guess I need this. There's something going on in my life right now that's confusing the bejeebus out of me. Can't really do anything, but sit on my hands and wait. Something that isn't up to me. Writing helps me express what my heart feels without me having to think of the words. These words come from my heart. Deep down from my emotional well. I love my talent I really do. If I couldn't write I have no idea where I Would be right now. It's gotten me respect, admiration, and it's helped me destress like crazy. It's the best destresser I have. In other news I got to play on the p server with Iris and Kiba. They're both amazing company <3. I love them very much *Sends love to Iris and Kiba*. Was kinda funny yesterday/this morning (I think it annoyed Iris), but there was a CW that kept spawning monsters x.x. That thing WOULD NOT die at all. I did figure out the GM code for adding monsters and that made me happy :3. .add mon is bad so DO NOT use it. Not sure why. The proper code is .monid # # # # . Id is the monster number. First number is how many. Second number is the distance. 3 number = anthing > 1 means the monster wont' be agro. Fourth numbers changes the size. It was so fun killing big baby aibatts :3. Heh. Gonna try to get back into DDR. Been losing weight and I have no idea how. Want to work on my Stamina so I can start running again. I don't care what Kiba says, I know where my stamina was before and DDR did increase it. In fact any form of Cardio activity will increase stamina. Heart strength + stronger lungs = better Stamina. I remember when I first started playing and how I am now. I can actually play 20 mins of difficult without breaking at all in between songs (work out mode) and not be tired out. It's built up my leg strength too. I really need to get active though, but when I get all depressed I don't feel like moving :x. It's been recurring a lot more lately. I'll be fine and then wham .-. There it is. Trying to surround myself with people so I don't have to think about my thoughts and feelings and it's semi working. I guess it would kind of explain why I'm so selfless (that means the opposite of selfish >>). I try to forget about myself so I immerse myself in others and help them deal with their problems. Buutt it's only a temporary thing. As soon as they're fine I always have to go back to myself. So I guess ironically me being selfless is for a selfish reason. Does that make me a bad person? guess I'll share the poems I wrote. If you like them I have more on DA http://innocuousintrovert.deviantart.com/gallery/ .
The mask
It's time again for me to hide myself
to take the mask from off my shelf
To wear the facade I wore so well
So no one sees this empty shell
Smiling when I want to cry
and living when I want to die
No one shall know how I truly feel
Eventually even I will forget what's real
Desires
I want to nullify this surging pain
I want to be able to smile again
To erase the scars across my heart
I don't want to have to play a part
I long to be happy, I long to be free
I long to be loved, unconditionally
Will my wish ever come true?
Is there anything anyone can do?
The mask
It's time again for me to hide myself
to take the mask from off my shelf
To wear the facade I wore so well
So no one sees this empty shell
Smiling when I want to cry
and living when I want to die
No one shall know how I truly feel
Eventually even I will forget what's real
Desires
I want to nullify this surging pain
I want to be able to smile again
To erase the scars across my heart
I don't want to have to play a part
I long to be happy, I long to be free
I long to be loved, unconditionally
Will my wish ever come true?
Is there anything anyone can do?