Ellipticals
I feel physically ill about not getting into Teach for America. I've been pretty stressed about the German exam and expected the pressure to be off last night when I would check my email and find out for sure that I was in. Instead, I had a hard time on the exam and didn't get in. I don't even have recourse to the "I was qualified but there were more qualified people" excuse. They take everyone they think is a good fit for their program. So now what?
I still want to teach. I am still going to teach. But now I need a new plan to get there and income in between.
But right now i need to get my homework done and stop feeling nauseous and get to the gym tomorrow. Blister on my foot be damned. I haven't been to the gym in a week and this blister doesn't seem to be healing anyway.
There are 6 weeks of this year left and then I am stranded without a goal or a direction. I've never been in this position of not knowing what to do next. I dislike it greatly. How do other people deal with this aimless existence? It is not for me.
I think that this week, I need to be selfish. I've been doing a lot of emotional giving and time giving. I don't really mind the lack of reciprocation. I've come to understand that most people are takers, especially at this University. But I need me time and I am going to take it. Starting with the gym tomorrow.
I really like how many people tell me that in the four years they have been coming to that Hillel, I am far and away their favorite intern ever.
I wonder what shirt (and by extension what eyeshadow) I will wear tomorrow. Because I really want pink eye shadow. I wish I had my doc martin boots here. Monday I was in denial and bargaining. Today I was depressed and mopey. I am pretty sure anger needs its own day and I am granting it Wednesday.
I still want to teach. I am still going to teach. But now I need a new plan to get there and income in between.
But right now i need to get my homework done and stop feeling nauseous and get to the gym tomorrow. Blister on my foot be damned. I haven't been to the gym in a week and this blister doesn't seem to be healing anyway.
There are 6 weeks of this year left and then I am stranded without a goal or a direction. I've never been in this position of not knowing what to do next. I dislike it greatly. How do other people deal with this aimless existence? It is not for me.
I think that this week, I need to be selfish. I've been doing a lot of emotional giving and time giving. I don't really mind the lack of reciprocation. I've come to understand that most people are takers, especially at this University. But I need me time and I am going to take it. Starting with the gym tomorrow.
I really like how many people tell me that in the four years they have been coming to that Hillel, I am far and away their favorite intern ever.
I wonder what shirt (and by extension what eyeshadow) I will wear tomorrow. Because I really want pink eye shadow. I wish I had my doc martin boots here. Monday I was in denial and bargaining. Today I was depressed and mopey. I am pretty sure anger needs its own day and I am granting it Wednesday.