a crappy post
i hate feeling down....it's like i just don't know what to do....my boyfriend doesn't understand that i'm a bit emotional, i don't know why i've become like this. i hate it though, i used to be this bad ass, heartless girl and now i'm this emotional reck. i don't know how to balance either and it's hurting my relationship w/my boyfriend. i really do think it's coming to an end and it hurts soo much. i'm so selfish w/him and i don't know how to deal. i've never really had a boyfriend, like a real one and i'm so broken i just don't know how to be "a good girlfriend". but truly does that exist? why can't i be like that? he's my other half and i just don't know what i'd do without him. i see my friends go in and out of love and i just can't bare it. i'd be so lonely w/out him and i really think it's going to end. this sucks so much because i'd be losing a boyfriend and a bestfriend. it's weird sometimes he'll want to break up w/me and in the back of my head i'll think "but he won't" he's told me so many times that he wouldn't be able to be without me and so i wonder why he even threatens me that he'd leave. wait, what kind of relationship do i have if he threatens me to leave so i'd be a "Better" girlfriend? whatever though....we always make it through and this helps me just release how i feel. it's just a place where i can write something out and no one else can find it. other than you two and i don't mind it anyways....-the end