[drama] the game
Title: The Game
Chapter 28: ... So I Can Confess
Features: Kang In, Heechul, Hankyung, Siwon, Kibum, SuJu
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama
Beta: fifteen_half <3 Thanks a lot for your help!
[Kang In’s POV]
I blinked a few times and I couldn’t help but curse silently. I just regained my senses and found my lost pride but still, it was all too late. I was already halfway through embarrassing myself, spilling out the very depths of my heart before I realized what I was doing. I couldn’t take back the words I said without fetching even more curiosity from the person in front of me, eyes already sparkling with too much interest.
‘Uh huh, go on.’
‘Donghae, I don’t think you understand this, I, uh...’
‘Hyung, I can help.’
Patting my hands, he looked straight at me and gave me a convincing nod. And I started to remind myself that this was the guy who believed in aliens. This was the guy that had put fish into his instant noodles and tricked everyone to taste it. I need someone normal.
‘Right.’ I muttered.
‘Right. Now tell me what happened. Something is really bothering you...’
‘Don’t talk to me like you know what I’m thinking! It’s freaky.’
‘It is freakier for me to see you sleep with my Elmo, now talk.’
Oh God.
‘I...’
I was down, maybe in the third stage of depression. The kiss really got me bad and struck me hard. Still, I had no choice but to swallow up the sting and try to get along with the crazy merrymaking crowd. I should have listened to Heechul when he told me that I’d regret it if I went back inside. But my curiosity was just too strong and I felt just as worst not to know what could happen to him. Besides, I can’t leave him alone with Yehsung’s polluted brain, can I?
Now I wish I didn’t go back in there.
‘You what?’
‘I need your advice.’ The words just came spilling out of my mouth without so much of a doubt that it shocked me a bit. Donghae only nodded and shifted closer to me, though, a concerned expression written on his face. I decided that I didn’t need a second thought, I need his opinion.
‘Let’s say you and Hyukjae had a fight. You both know that it’s your fault so you wanted to apologize. But then he tells you that he’ll forgive you only if you stop talking to him.’
Looking straight at him, I asked, ‘What would you do then?’
Donghae thought for a while. ‘That’s hard!’
‘I know.’
‘Why would he do that anyway?’ Donghae asked, annoyed. Somehow, I felt relieved that someone might have understood my situation, my feelings.
‘Think of it this way,’ he continued, ‘Why would you want to make someone stop talking to you when the other person just wants to apologize? That makes no sense!’
‘Yeah, it doesn’t make sense at all.’
‘Unless,’ Dongae said, frowning, ‘that person has completely lost their trust in the person asking for forgiveness. Do you understand what I’m trying to say, hyung? If Hyukjae did something really horrible to me, and I completely lost my trust in him because of that, I don’t think I could forgive him so easily even if we’ve been friends for a long time. Trust is the foundation of friendship, after all. If I lost that trust in him, I don’t think I’d want to see him, much less talk to him. I’d probably avoid him at all costs, too.’
‘Oh.’
Donghae grinned. ‘So, what have you done to makes Hankyung hyung completely ignored you?’
For a moment, I thought I misheard Donghae spoke his name - I must have utterly lost my mind- but when I saw the cunning grin on Donghae’s face, I knew I heard him right. He did spoke Hankyung’s name and now I had to deal with another one, more or less, maddening issue. The fact that Donghae knew.
‘How did you...?’
‘We all know.’
‘Oh.’ I was surprised. My mind worked out an investigation on its own. ‘Shiwon?’
‘Couldn’t blame him right?’
That bastard. ‘I didn’t do anything.’
Donghae rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, yeah. You didn’t insult his Chinese culture. You’re just using the word creepy in references to his dance and that’s fine. That’s totally fine.’
I shrugged to Donghae’s sarcastic tone. He was being terribly unfair to me, judging me from one side, Shiwon’s side. He didn’t know how annoying it was to watch someone being totally ass, trying too hard to get himself appreciable.
‘I have apologized.’
‘You did?’ Donghae knitted his brows, doubtfully. ‘Like seriously? I mean, you say the words?’
‘I said the words.’ I stressed out. ‘I said I’m sorry but he told me to go away.’
Donghae brought his hand to his forehead, running them through his hair. Again, thinking.
‘You know, it was hard to believe. First of all, you don’t usually apologize to people. Even if you did, you have some weird way to express it and some people just won’t get it. Second of all, it was Hankyung hyung we talked about here.’ Donghae grinned nervously and I furrowed my brow, registering all the messages through. ‘You know, he wasn’t that type who will do such thing, telling people to go off.’
‘So, you think I’m making things up?’
‘No, I think you are telling me the truth.’
‘Trust me, Hankyung wasn’t that nice. He got mad over stupid things and makes it look like a big deal. He swears a lot, like seriously. And he hit people too.’
‘Okay, now I think you’re lying.’ Donghae said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. I sighed. I know that I shouldn’t try to win his compassion but I wasn’t making those things up. It’s true. He did swear a lot and he hit me in the elevator but I guessed no one would believe me anyway. ‘What did he say exactly?’
‘He made me promise not to talk to him again until he talks to me if I want him to forgive me. It’s been three days now and he didn’t even glance at me. It’s driving me crazy...’
Donghae laughed.
‘What?’ I asked because it was maddening when people laughed at me while I’m in the middle of serious talking.
‘Sound like a crush to me.’
‘It’s not!’ I almost yelled, fervently hoping I wasn’t blushing.
‘I know. It’s just a thought.’ Donghae said, giggling again, trying to convince himself to stop. ‘It couldn’t be, right? You couldn’t have any interest in him. That would be the scariest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s like the SM forcing us to shave our heads bald for a new image or something!’
I was speechless and I couldn’t think of anything to say to what he said. I’m not even sure if I should respond to such comments. Do they really see my relationship with Hankyung like that? That it’s impossible for me to actually like him?! I’m not that mean to him, right? And it’s not like I tease him every time I see him. Did I?
‘Do you, hyung?’ Donghae’s expression turned into worried appearance, though I’m not sure if he was more worried about me or the Chinese man. I couldn’t tell. Or perhaps that concerned was devoted to Shiwon.
‘It’s useless. Talking to you is useless.’
I get up from the couch, but Donghae grasped my hand, pulling me down again.
‘I have an idea.’
It was risky, but I decided to try it anyway. It could turn out cute. Or it could earn me a dramatic ending - like getting a slap from him, or worst. So, the plan was to get myself alone with Hankyung and wish granted when I saw him leaving his dorm alone the next day. He was wearing a big jumper and a loose pant so I knew he was heading to the studio. He got in the elevator first before I rushed in just before the door closed.
For a while he looked surprised. But then he turned away from me and chose to stand so near the buttons, fingers playing with the straps of his jumper’s hood. Wasting no time I took out my hand phone, not hitting any button, just holding it against my ear and...
‘Hyung...’
I saw his body stiffed, but I’m not sure, maybe it was my brain inventing such response.
‘Hyung, talk to me... please?’
His hands drop to his side. I swear I could almost hear the loud pounding of a heartbeat but I couldn’t tell if it was mine or his.
‘How long do you plan to keep us like this?’ I asked.
Hankyung suddenly turned around, snapping his gaze towards me. His expression was mix of annoyed and curious, whether I was talking to him or not. Seeing me with my phone, his look softened into half relief, half embarrass, that he turn back around almost immediately. He went back on playing with his straps and I couldn’t help but smirk.
‘Are you sure you’re not going to talk to me?’ I said into the device, my mischievous self rouse inside of me, out of nowhere. ‘Because I got the feeling that you do...’
He remained silence and I didn’t know it was a good thing or not. Will that be good rather than hearing him yelling me to stop this act?
‘Hyung, I’m sorry.’ I said, trying not to stumble on the words. ‘Please forgive me so that I can talk to you.’
The elevator door slides open and he rushed out straight away. When I stepped out, he was already gone. I let go a breath that I didn’t know I was holding, gradually shoving my phone into my pocket. Looking at the streets, I tried to decide if I were successful or not. I let go another breath.
‘Forgive me...’ I uttered to myself. ‘...so I can confess.’