I`m not the kind of GIrL;*

Nov 11, 2004 19:31

I`m not the kind of girl you probably think i am, and i don`t care about what you think. I`m not stupid. im not a whore. im not honest. im not conceeded. im not the best at anything. im not in love. im not looking for it either. im not always happy. my smiles are`nt always real. my tears are.
I am REAL Person.
I have real emotions. i try to hide them alot. i lead people on, but not on purpose. I live in the moment. I learn from my mistakes. I don`t liek to hurt people, but it happens. im not always nice, i try. Im outgoing. I`m not really lazy. I love everyone. I hate no one. I belive in miricles. I joke alot. Im not always kidding. I laugh at myself. I have unrealistic fears. I dont enjoy reality. I want to lie in bed and dream.
I should die.
no one knows me inside. i live a lie. i wish i could open up. All i want is someone to talk to. Some one to acctaully listen. I want to understand people. I want them to talk to me. To open up for me. i want to controll my life. i want everything. i want nothing.

It takes me along time to fall in love. i am scared of love. i dont want to hurt you, i dont want to hurt myself. i dont want you to hurt me. i am scared. i dont fall in love fast. it takes a long time of friendship- then more. i am difficult. i am abnormaly misunderstood. im not typical. i want you to save yourself. dont worry about me. i can handle it. im filled with pain. i live with torture. i can succeed. i can acomplish anything. i want to make somethign clear- very clear... im not a slut- i joke alot. i cover up my emotions with jokes. i am unsatisfied all the time. i am in love. with nothing.
I cant hide it- now hear my confessions.

the road to hell is paved with good intentions... i guess im going to hell.
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