I realized...
That I only seem to update my journal when I'm sad or write a poem. Anyways it was time for an update. I realized something. I won't put it here. It makes me seem crazy :P...anyways... Stuff happened. I lost(I think?) three of my best friends because of a misunderstanding. I'm not understanding why it's become such a big deal. I explained the real situation and even got Lexi to set Kate straight on the whole subject(Or maybe she never did) Anyway Kate said some very hurtful things. And when I say hurtful I mean bad. Really bad. I don't wanna do this anymore. It's killing me. Why am I wrong? Why am I being punished for believing that what people told me is bad, is bad? Excuse me for thinking drugs aren't the answer...I want...I need someone...Who do I have? Izzy...True...But...At the end of the day...her positive and easy-going spin on things...It just detours her away from everything that I'm feeling...As much as she tries...She still doesn't get it... Sam got it... We went through the same thing didn't we? I need to leave. I need to go somewhere where no one knows me. Where I can be whoever I want. Somewhere where I can be me...I'm not a happy person...Why do people want me to lie about that? Why do I have to wait to come home and cry? Everytime I try to let someone in they don't WANT in. In the end...Who really does want to be with me? People say you don't need anyone but yourself to be happy... Then why am I so depressed?