(no subject)
So yeah I decided to update my lj while I am waiting on my clothes to get out of the dryer. First thing I do is check my friends page and low and behold sean is still on my friends list. His post made me chuckle a little. I find it funny how he thinks I have wasted breath to talk about him. Sami will tell any of ya'll who may question me talking about him. The most I have said is that I am glad him and jessi are together and he is happy. The one night I saw adam since all this the only thing I asked him was if sean was happy and he told me yes and I was truely happy. He still thinks I was cheating on him... well nothing is gonna change his mind about that. But the last time I checked a guy and a girl talking isn't cheating. That guy offered to get me something to eat bc I hadn't eaten all day and I told him no... bc I didnt want it to even seem like a date for those who knew me and him were talking. But eh... no more to say about that. He mentions in there about questioning about ever being in love with the past girls which I believe completely. I knew for a long time he didn't love me. I wish I could say the same towards him. Okay no more wasted space on my lj about him.
I have had weird dreams the past couple nights about my grandfather n such. They start out with him still sick with alzhiemers n such but he goes to this doctor and he changes my grandfather's med. and with in about a month is he back to normal and everything is okay. He is here on christmas. I am not sure what it all means except I know that is what my heart wished but my head knew would never happen. Most of the times I have woken up in tears clingin to my chest in pain. I can't breathe and everything hurts all over. I hate this and I want it to stop.
On a plus note I have a new boyfriend we have been dating for about a week or so and I love it. He is sooooo amazing. He is everything I didn't have in the last 2 and a half years of me and sean's relationship. He cares about me and is concerned with how I feel and what I want. So far he has met all my needs and wants. All my friends love him as far as I know soooo what more can I ask for?
Well I am gonna jump in the shower now and then get dressed to go with him to get speakers for his car and later tonight I will be at sami's house for some I love new york WOOT!
I have had weird dreams the past couple nights about my grandfather n such. They start out with him still sick with alzhiemers n such but he goes to this doctor and he changes my grandfather's med. and with in about a month is he back to normal and everything is okay. He is here on christmas. I am not sure what it all means except I know that is what my heart wished but my head knew would never happen. Most of the times I have woken up in tears clingin to my chest in pain. I can't breathe and everything hurts all over. I hate this and I want it to stop.
On a plus note I have a new boyfriend we have been dating for about a week or so and I love it. He is sooooo amazing. He is everything I didn't have in the last 2 and a half years of me and sean's relationship. He cares about me and is concerned with how I feel and what I want. So far he has met all my needs and wants. All my friends love him as far as I know soooo what more can I ask for?
Well I am gonna jump in the shower now and then get dressed to go with him to get speakers for his car and later tonight I will be at sami's house for some I love new york WOOT!