My Weekend - Dream of Andrew
What a wonderful weekend. Friday was awesome. I just had one of those evenings.. we went and walked under the stars and just talked. He slept over in the spare room.. my request. Saturday i went out with a friend from work to visit a Wardolf school in Camden. The way they teach is amazing. i could never really explain it, but its a place where i would love to send my child. We went to the Camden Park for their crafts displays. i bought some books. Finnally found Matthew's Bday present, and i know he will like it. I am not going to make a special trip to se him, i will just see him at my next appt. A Friend that i have cared about since before conception came over last night. We stayed up most of the night just talking, and falling asleep beside someone always lets me sleep better.
I had a nightmare last night too. In it my child was 6 or 7 and was asing 'normal' questions that every child does. and then he asked me about his father. Somehow i knew that my child had grown up thus far without his father. I looked hard into my childs eyes and explained to him that his father was young, and wasnt ready for a child. in my dream i held my son tightly as he cried, his small body shaking after crying like his mothers. When he was okay again he looked up at me with the clear blue of his fathers eyes. his father's nose (smaller then my own) and my cheeks and jawline. I woke up startled. i know what my child is going to look like. I rolled over to find a warm body there, willing to hold me no matter what i was going through. and i knew. If the worst happens, I have my friends, and i have people that love me no matter what.
when we woke in the morning i was gonna make pancakes, but i learned that all i do is burn them. so i made him do it. He did wonderfull. after a tearful good bye (on my part... fricken preggo emotions) i spent the rest of the day reading. The Silence of the Lambs (an hour and a half), and i reread Wizards First Rule(about 3:45). I rebought stone of tears and wanted to be primed for it. Tomorrows a long day.. i have an ethics meeting at work. Oh, forgot to mention my 1.50 raise at work wich is wonderful! night kiddies
****** Child at fourteen weeks gestation, three - four weeks ago****
I had a nightmare last night too. In it my child was 6 or 7 and was asing 'normal' questions that every child does. and then he asked me about his father. Somehow i knew that my child had grown up thus far without his father. I looked hard into my childs eyes and explained to him that his father was young, and wasnt ready for a child. in my dream i held my son tightly as he cried, his small body shaking after crying like his mothers. When he was okay again he looked up at me with the clear blue of his fathers eyes. his father's nose (smaller then my own) and my cheeks and jawline. I woke up startled. i know what my child is going to look like. I rolled over to find a warm body there, willing to hold me no matter what i was going through. and i knew. If the worst happens, I have my friends, and i have people that love me no matter what.
when we woke in the morning i was gonna make pancakes, but i learned that all i do is burn them. so i made him do it. He did wonderfull. after a tearful good bye (on my part... fricken preggo emotions) i spent the rest of the day reading. The Silence of the Lambs (an hour and a half), and i reread Wizards First Rule(about 3:45). I rebought stone of tears and wanted to be primed for it. Tomorrows a long day.. i have an ethics meeting at work. Oh, forgot to mention my 1.50 raise at work wich is wonderful! night kiddies
****** Child at fourteen weeks gestation, three - four weeks ago****