welcome home
i bought new socks today!
it's about time..mine seemed to be getting so dirty on the bottom. i'm going to feel nice and clean now. I made $200 behind the bar this weekend. how sweet is that? but i'm still giving money to my dad so he can help me pay off all of the debt that i'm in. it's for the better though.
i just finished my book today at work. daughter's keeper. i thought it was decent, not the best that i've read but it sure wasn't anything boring. & my mom just gave my a book called losing the moon, she read it and said it was pretty good. so now it's my turn. i'm excited to start it tonight. funny how that's the only thing that i can look forward to anymore. coming home and cuddling up to a nice book and good food. i can no longer go out with nick and cuddle up with him. god, he's constantly on my mind still. he's done something to me that i can't even undo. i love him with all of my heart. & it hurts me even more when he tells me that he does too. because he's being completely hypocritical. my heart is still breaking and there isn't anyone to mend it. maybe it doesn't help that i'm holding myself back from anything and anyone. i hardly go out anymore, katie and jade are the only people that i hang out with anymore. & each time we just smoke ourselves stupid until i've forgotten about what's ever bothering me. it seems to be the only thing that can make me content. i wish i knew what to do in a situation like this. but there really is nothing that i can do, i just have to wait it out and wait for the time to pass before me. for the love that i feel for him to vanish from my heart. how can someone love you so much and just walk off like nothing matters or mattered in the first place?
i'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear about all of this..i'll just stop.
someday things will be right again and i'll look back on this and laugh.
i hope
it's about time..mine seemed to be getting so dirty on the bottom. i'm going to feel nice and clean now. I made $200 behind the bar this weekend. how sweet is that? but i'm still giving money to my dad so he can help me pay off all of the debt that i'm in. it's for the better though.
i just finished my book today at work. daughter's keeper. i thought it was decent, not the best that i've read but it sure wasn't anything boring. & my mom just gave my a book called losing the moon, she read it and said it was pretty good. so now it's my turn. i'm excited to start it tonight. funny how that's the only thing that i can look forward to anymore. coming home and cuddling up to a nice book and good food. i can no longer go out with nick and cuddle up with him. god, he's constantly on my mind still. he's done something to me that i can't even undo. i love him with all of my heart. & it hurts me even more when he tells me that he does too. because he's being completely hypocritical. my heart is still breaking and there isn't anyone to mend it. maybe it doesn't help that i'm holding myself back from anything and anyone. i hardly go out anymore, katie and jade are the only people that i hang out with anymore. & each time we just smoke ourselves stupid until i've forgotten about what's ever bothering me. it seems to be the only thing that can make me content. i wish i knew what to do in a situation like this. but there really is nothing that i can do, i just have to wait it out and wait for the time to pass before me. for the love that i feel for him to vanish from my heart. how can someone love you so much and just walk off like nothing matters or mattered in the first place?
i'm sorry, you probably don't want to hear about all of this..i'll just stop.
someday things will be right again and i'll look back on this and laugh.
i hope