Cravings
I'M SORRY, batgirl39. I know I was supposed to do this ages ago, but....I suck at all things pertaining to life.
So.
AsumaKurenai, keyword "pie," written in about 45 minutes. XD
Warnings: Some language.
Kurenai is pregnant, and like all pregnant women, she has cravings.
Most of them are not orthodox, as Asuma has learned over the last seven months. Secretly, he hopes the remaining two will hurry along at lightening speed. While he loves Kurenai, and wants her to be happy and comfortable--as comfortable as you can be with a stomach the size of large boulder, anyhow--he prefers her company infinitely more when she's sane.
Asuma is convinced that pregnancy gives females split personalities. One minute they're perfectly cheery and the next, they want to rip your head off with their bare hands and chuck it at you once they've finished the deed.
You have to be careful. Very, very careful. Stealthy-like. And when they say they want something, you'd better get it, and get it fast, regardless of whether or not cherries are in season, or the store only carries one brand of tuna fish ("Asuma! I didn't want that kind! Take it back and exchange it!").
Last month, Kurenai decided she had to have pickles and ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The ice cream was Superman, and only Superman, and the pickles had to be dill, and cut up into pieces on top. The very thought of Superman ice cream mixed with dill pickles made Asuma want to ralph, but he loved Kurenai, and he liked his head where it was, so he dilligently made certain the freezer was stocked at all times, and he bought jars of pickles in bulk.
When he feels about ready to crack, Asuma reminds himself that he loves Kurenai, and her condition is partially his fault (he will not take full blame, even if he does love her), and were their roles reversed, he'd want to be pampered, too.
So after she wakes him up from a sound sleep at 3:00 at night, he keeps his voice calm.
"What's wrong?"
Her hair is all rumpled around her face, and her eyes are puffy and large. She looks absolutely adorable, though Asuma knows not to let his guard down.
"Are you sick?" He asks.
She had terrible morning sickness the first few months, so that she practically lived in the bathroom. She might be having a relapse, and that alarms him slightly.
"No, I'm fine." Her brow furrows. "But I'm hungry."
Asuma turns somewhat green. "Superman with pickles?"
She shakes her head, and he almost breathes a sigh of relief, though he doesn't. He knows better now.
"I think...pie. I want pie, Asuma."
Pie. They never eat pie. Asuma is a cookie sort of person, and Kurenai prefers cake (chocolate, with vanilla frosting). Well...she usually prefers cake, anyway.
There's no pie in the house. He'll have to go out and buy some, and it's 3:00 in the morning.
"Uh..."
Her eyes narrow. "Asuma--"
"What kind of pie do you want, kiddo?" He sits up and flings his share of the sheets aside. Better just do it and get it over with. He shouldn't have hesitated to begin with.
Kurenai beams. "Coconut."
Figures. She could've picked a normal flavor, like apple or blueberry, but she picks coconut.
Resigned, he gets out of bed and goes to the closet for some pants. He's half-blind, because his bleary eyes haven't adjusted to the dark yet, and he stubs his toe on the doorframe.
A variety of colorful language later, he emerges wearing sweats and sandals.
"You sure you want coconut?"
"Mm-hm." She pulls his sheets to her side of the bed and snuggles under them. "Don't take too long, okay? I'm so hungry I could die."
He believes it.
All the more reason for haste.
And a cigarette. God, he needs a cigarette.
"Okay," he says, but she's not paying attention to him anymore.
Asuma loves Kurenai. Asuma loves Kurenai. Asuma loves Kurenai...
***
There is a grand total of five people at the 24-hour grocery store when Asuma arrives. Three of them are employees, one of them is an old lady who smells like mothballs and waves her cane at Asuma, muttering under her breath about ruffians and goatees, and one of them is Kakashi.
He looks like a train wreck. Asuma probably looks like a train wreck, too.
"Hey there," Kakashi greets him, running a hand through his everywhere hair. It's even more disheveled than usual, and Asuma notices that there's a huge cream-colored stain on the front of Kakashi's shirt.
He quirks a brow. "What the hell happened, buddy?"
"Loki puked. I got the brunt of it."
Asuma winces. Loki is Kakashi and Anko's eleven-month-old son. As in, this is what Asuma has to look forward to once his own kid is born. Projectile puke. Fantastic.
"Why are you here?" He wonders, and immediately feels like a dumbass. Go Go Captain Obvious.
Kakashi grins. At least he's amused. "Anko freaked out because we had no medicine, so..." He holds up his hands in a shrug, and then his expression turns shrewd. "Kurenai's hungry."
"She wants coconut pie this time. I don't get it." Asuma's fingers itch. He had a cigarette on the way here, and he could go for another one. "I told you about the Superman and pickles..."
"Yuck," Kakashi agreed. "I can't see how that tastes good. Coconut pie isn't bad, though." He grabs a small purple box off the shelf and peers at it. "Hmm...this is all-purpose flu stuff. I guess it'll work."
"Did he have a fever?" They start walking in the direction of the in-store bakery. Asuma doensn't think coconut pie qualifies as a baked good, persay, but that's where they're kept, so oh well.
"He might have," Kakashi says. "I don't know. Anko just ordered me to buy medicine. Helpful, yeah?"
Ugh. Asuma sympathized. And this whole fatherhood thing was starting to scare him. Life was so much easier when he was single.
They pause in front of the pies. Apple. Blueberry. Peach. Chocolate. And coconut cream.
"Coconut cream?" Asuma picks it up. There's a mound of whipped...whatever on it. And coconut shreds. Artery clogging, surely.
Kakashi snorts. "There's no such thing as a plain old coconut pie, Asuma. That'd be gross."
Asuma wants to say he knew that, but he didn't, so he just says, "Oh."
His friend pats him on the shoulder. "Come on. If Kurenai's anything like Anko, you've already been gone too long."
Asuma pales.
Shit.
***
"Asuma! I said blueberry, not coconut! I hate coconut!"
Asuma loves Kurenai. Asuma loves Kurenai. Asuma loves Kurenai...
---
XD I hope you enjoyed, Ari! ♥
So.
AsumaKurenai, keyword "pie," written in about 45 minutes. XD
Warnings: Some language.
Kurenai is pregnant, and like all pregnant women, she has cravings.
Most of them are not orthodox, as Asuma has learned over the last seven months. Secretly, he hopes the remaining two will hurry along at lightening speed. While he loves Kurenai, and wants her to be happy and comfortable--as comfortable as you can be with a stomach the size of large boulder, anyhow--he prefers her company infinitely more when she's sane.
Asuma is convinced that pregnancy gives females split personalities. One minute they're perfectly cheery and the next, they want to rip your head off with their bare hands and chuck it at you once they've finished the deed.
You have to be careful. Very, very careful. Stealthy-like. And when they say they want something, you'd better get it, and get it fast, regardless of whether or not cherries are in season, or the store only carries one brand of tuna fish ("Asuma! I didn't want that kind! Take it back and exchange it!").
Last month, Kurenai decided she had to have pickles and ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The ice cream was Superman, and only Superman, and the pickles had to be dill, and cut up into pieces on top. The very thought of Superman ice cream mixed with dill pickles made Asuma want to ralph, but he loved Kurenai, and he liked his head where it was, so he dilligently made certain the freezer was stocked at all times, and he bought jars of pickles in bulk.
When he feels about ready to crack, Asuma reminds himself that he loves Kurenai, and her condition is partially his fault (he will not take full blame, even if he does love her), and were their roles reversed, he'd want to be pampered, too.
So after she wakes him up from a sound sleep at 3:00 at night, he keeps his voice calm.
"What's wrong?"
Her hair is all rumpled around her face, and her eyes are puffy and large. She looks absolutely adorable, though Asuma knows not to let his guard down.
"Are you sick?" He asks.
She had terrible morning sickness the first few months, so that she practically lived in the bathroom. She might be having a relapse, and that alarms him slightly.
"No, I'm fine." Her brow furrows. "But I'm hungry."
Asuma turns somewhat green. "Superman with pickles?"
She shakes her head, and he almost breathes a sigh of relief, though he doesn't. He knows better now.
"I think...pie. I want pie, Asuma."
Pie. They never eat pie. Asuma is a cookie sort of person, and Kurenai prefers cake (chocolate, with vanilla frosting). Well...she usually prefers cake, anyway.
There's no pie in the house. He'll have to go out and buy some, and it's 3:00 in the morning.
"Uh..."
Her eyes narrow. "Asuma--"
"What kind of pie do you want, kiddo?" He sits up and flings his share of the sheets aside. Better just do it and get it over with. He shouldn't have hesitated to begin with.
Kurenai beams. "Coconut."
Figures. She could've picked a normal flavor, like apple or blueberry, but she picks coconut.
Resigned, he gets out of bed and goes to the closet for some pants. He's half-blind, because his bleary eyes haven't adjusted to the dark yet, and he stubs his toe on the doorframe.
A variety of colorful language later, he emerges wearing sweats and sandals.
"You sure you want coconut?"
"Mm-hm." She pulls his sheets to her side of the bed and snuggles under them. "Don't take too long, okay? I'm so hungry I could die."
He believes it.
All the more reason for haste.
And a cigarette. God, he needs a cigarette.
"Okay," he says, but she's not paying attention to him anymore.
Asuma loves Kurenai. Asuma loves Kurenai. Asuma loves Kurenai...
***
There is a grand total of five people at the 24-hour grocery store when Asuma arrives. Three of them are employees, one of them is an old lady who smells like mothballs and waves her cane at Asuma, muttering under her breath about ruffians and goatees, and one of them is Kakashi.
He looks like a train wreck. Asuma probably looks like a train wreck, too.
"Hey there," Kakashi greets him, running a hand through his everywhere hair. It's even more disheveled than usual, and Asuma notices that there's a huge cream-colored stain on the front of Kakashi's shirt.
He quirks a brow. "What the hell happened, buddy?"
"Loki puked. I got the brunt of it."
Asuma winces. Loki is Kakashi and Anko's eleven-month-old son. As in, this is what Asuma has to look forward to once his own kid is born. Projectile puke. Fantastic.
"Why are you here?" He wonders, and immediately feels like a dumbass. Go Go Captain Obvious.
Kakashi grins. At least he's amused. "Anko freaked out because we had no medicine, so..." He holds up his hands in a shrug, and then his expression turns shrewd. "Kurenai's hungry."
"She wants coconut pie this time. I don't get it." Asuma's fingers itch. He had a cigarette on the way here, and he could go for another one. "I told you about the Superman and pickles..."
"Yuck," Kakashi agreed. "I can't see how that tastes good. Coconut pie isn't bad, though." He grabs a small purple box off the shelf and peers at it. "Hmm...this is all-purpose flu stuff. I guess it'll work."
"Did he have a fever?" They start walking in the direction of the in-store bakery. Asuma doensn't think coconut pie qualifies as a baked good, persay, but that's where they're kept, so oh well.
"He might have," Kakashi says. "I don't know. Anko just ordered me to buy medicine. Helpful, yeah?"
Ugh. Asuma sympathized. And this whole fatherhood thing was starting to scare him. Life was so much easier when he was single.
They pause in front of the pies. Apple. Blueberry. Peach. Chocolate. And coconut cream.
"Coconut cream?" Asuma picks it up. There's a mound of whipped...whatever on it. And coconut shreds. Artery clogging, surely.
Kakashi snorts. "There's no such thing as a plain old coconut pie, Asuma. That'd be gross."
Asuma wants to say he knew that, but he didn't, so he just says, "Oh."
His friend pats him on the shoulder. "Come on. If Kurenai's anything like Anko, you've already been gone too long."
Asuma pales.
Shit.
***
"Asuma! I said blueberry, not coconut! I hate coconut!"
Asuma loves Kurenai. Asuma loves Kurenai. Asuma loves Kurenai...
---
XD I hope you enjoyed, Ari! ♥