Glee Rewatch 2014: Tested
Things that happened:
1. Cutest sailor boys ever.
2. Blaine is like a little piece of sunshine.
3. Of course he knows his server's name. And probably life story.
4. BLAINE. Blaine that cronut is gross. (This is like the third time they've mentioned cronuts this season. Did they get sponsored, or? Is that a thing that happens?)
5. The line of Kurt's back down to his ass and then his legs, and... um. Well.
6. "The big apple is delicious and I plan on savouring every bite."
7. Look at his tummy. <3
8. I love that American Beauty rip. That movie is my mother's all time favourite.
9. So Artie is sleeping in the dorms, which is a mystery solved.
10. Jesus Christ, Chris Colfer is a beautiful man.
11. "Kurt was, well... Kurt." I really don't like that, Blaine. I shall talk more on why down below.
12. Sam isn't having sex with Mercedes and Klaine are like 'But you sleep in the same room. We don't even live together and we can hardly keep from jumping each other's bones.'
13. And people are like 'Kurt doesn't ever eat anything but junk food! He's a slob! He's an addict!' *rolls eyes*
14. That freaking STD suit.
15. They're watching Glee in that scene, by the way. Some CSI Tumblr person managed to pull up Joaquin Sedillo's name from the screen. Which means that some version of Glee is canon in their universe - maybe it's Sing from The New Normal.
16. "I don't know how!" "Well, do you wear condoms?" "No." "Well that would be how."
17. "Artie needs to be slutshamed! I'm slutshaming you, Artie!"
18. Sam is angry and Klaine are just there like disapproving parents. ('We're not angry with you, Artie, we're just disappointed in the choices you have made.')
19. Sam. Come on, man. Innappropriate in church.
20. So this episode is some kind of unofficial eighties week theme? I don't suppose they can keep introducing the theme week after week by writing it on the board when there is no board to write it on. (And you know what? I have not had a single moment of missing Lima in these episodes.)
21. Sai swords are back!
22. That dude is so hot for Kurt, Jesus.
23. (Same, dude. Same.)
24. My baby is grown up and feeling confident in himself and his body. <3
25. "All I ask is that it's in colour, in English and made after 1989." I kind of adore the unexpected little insight into character that we get here?
26. "Your instrument is as handsome as ever." Kurt's not even thinking about judging Blaine. Blaine's insecurities are very much a product of his own mind.
27. Kurt acts as badly towards porn as he did in season two. Worse, even, because sex is intimacy to Kurt. It's connection and love - a very important thing. And of course Blaine feels the same way, but he's more casual about it than Kurt, a little more carnal maybe, more willing to simply indulge in the feelings of his body. And I think that Kurt knows (logically, at least) that there's nothing wrong with watching porn, but when he realises that Blaine's been horny, but not for him, that's when things kind of go really down hill. Blaine's insecurities are the focus of this plotline, but Kurt has his too. Sex is affirmation for him, and when Blaine starts watching videos instead of going to him, that's a denial of affirmation. I think that had it just been porn then Kurt might not have reacted well, but he wouldn't have been as upset as he becomes in this scene. It's more about the lack of intimacy for him.
28. Rachel has no business being so pretty in sweats, I mean, honestly.
29. I love that they're friends now. Can we please have no more fighting? Pretty please?
30. "I really think we should talk about this." "You know, Blaine, sometimes I think we talk too much." The thing is, Kurt's issues in this episode are relatively easy to make sense of. The boys have trouble communicating, as seen here, which is something that is a work in progress. They're certainly better now than they were at the start of last season. But okay, Kurt not wanting to talk is something that is fairly linear, in a way. It has a very simple solution - talk more, even if you don't want to. Blaine's problems are more more inset and complicated. (People also said that Kurt should be more emotionally available to Blaine? Which is one of those instances where I guess I'm just over-relating to Kurt because I am him basically this entire episode, at least in the way he reacts to things, and I have difficulty seeing where he should be more open to Blaine. *shrug* Maybe it's just people picking Kurt apart again because obviously all the problems in Klaine's relationship are his fault and Blaine is a ~perfect special snowflake~ who never makes mistakes. Whatever.)
31. (Fandom sometimes makes me bitter, can you tell?)
32. God I love this number. The choreography is probably the best it's been all season. It's just fucking awesome.
33. And I am shamelessly a fan of those little glimpses of Kurt's tat that we get.
34. Anyway, okay - these boys are literally attacking each other here, which is a little scary. But also, when Kurt beats Blaine in the fencing, there are people laughing at him, which makes me wonder if Blaine's insecurities actually are partially an outside influence - in that first monologue, he talks about how Kurt is the hotshot now which clearly implies that Blaine, who has always been popular and well liked and had girls and boys swoon over him, hasn't had quite the smooth entrance to NYADA as he might have hoped.
35. (Obligatory snigger at the fact that they're swordfighting after they haven't had sex for a week. Hee.)
36. The fact that Chris said all those things with a straight face. Kudos, man. Oh my god.
37. CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP.
38. This song is painfully eighties.
39. The poor girl is like, 'Why are they all singing to me?!'
40. I feel like we're watching the same scene over and over with Samcedes.
41. You know, as a sexual aromantic, I just cannot for the life of me understand Mercedes' viewpoint here.
42. I just... I don't understand why people were so mad at Kurt for this episode. Like, okay, maybe the way he spoke was firm bordering on harsh, but considering what Blaine was saying about their relationship, I'm surprised he didn't flip his shit completely. I would have. But he was exceedingly patient considering. If my partner had told me that he essentially thought that our relationship worked because he saw me as his lesser, I would have been so offended and hurt that I wouldn't have been able to talk. And it doesn't matter how fragile Blaine was, it was absolutely right of Kurt to set his point of view as clearly as possible. Then he can be there for Blaine, but he is absolutely not wrong for setting his own boundaries first.
43. ANYWAY. So. My big problem with Blaine in this episode - "I don't like the way I feel about myself anymore, Kurt." And all through the episode, we are told that that is indirectly Kurt's fault. Because Kurt is no longer the wilting flower that Blaine first met - he is strong, and he knows who is, and he is moving forward with his life in a way that Blaine just isn't. And Blaine thinks that 'the balance has shifted.' And Kurt goes, 'What balance?' because haven't they always been balanced? But if this episode would have it right, Blaine's previous self esteem came directly from the fact that he had always thought himself better than Kurt. And now that Kurt is doing well, Blaine is faltering, because the balance has shifted. The seesaw has sent Kurt skyhigh, adversely dumping Blaine on the ground. Which just frankly isn't a healthy way to think about any kind of relationship. I mean, fuck, that's an entire feminist ideology - if your man is threatened by your successes, drop him.
44. So that's a tangled knot, and one that I had a hell of a lot of trouble loosening when I first watched this episode. Even coming back now, I'm having trouble figuring out exactly how I made Blaine's thought processes okay in my mind. But here's the thing - humanity isn't logical. It's messy and it doesn't always make sense, and sometimes the way we think gets messed up in our heads. And I don't think that Blaine's viewpoint of Kurt is a constant thing. I don't think that Blaine has constant self esteem issues (and for what it's worth, I'm not a fan of the whole idea that Blaine is depressed or otherwise mentally ill) and as such, I don't think he's constantly comparing himself to Kurt or anyone else. I think quite a lot of the time he's very happy to just muddle along as the person he is, and love Kurt without any conditions attached.
45. But just a few weeks ago, Kurt literally saved someone's life. And I think all of this talk about Kurt needing (not needing) protection and being hero and such is a direct response to that. I think it very starkly reminded Blaine of all the ways he's changed since he asked for help from Karofsky years ago. Blaine loved being needed then, and the fact that Kurt doesn't need him in that way any more has made him feel like he isn't needed at all. The whole thing is about how Blaine views himself in relation to Kurt, but it's not actually about being better than him. It's about the fact that he has not yet learnt to trust his own self worth, and so if he doesn't have a specific use to Kurt then what's the point of him to begin with? As has been the issue right from the beginning, Blaine has trouble believing in the ways Kurt loves him for who he is. And they definitely don't rely on being in need of protection (although maybe, sometimes, that would be nice).
46. And I also think that this shift in self esteem has probably been building from the moment Blaine came to New York. We saw it in New New York - Blaine feeling like he was falling behind and Kurt was so much further ahead, and then crowding Kurt and subsequently moving out (which Blaine has now twisted in his head to Kurt asking him to move out - he does not feel wanted, Kurt does not need him anymore). And then those people who were laughing at Blaine in the combat class. Methinks that Blaine has been feeling a little lonely and inadequate for quite a while now, which triggered the comfort eating and the weight gain, which triggered the comparisons to Kurt, which led to the disparaging thoughts as some kind of defense mechanism/way to work out quite why Blaine feels the way he does. This isn't about Kurt at all.
47. Blaine just wants to be good enough.
48. Kurt has always seen them as equals. In his mind they've never been on the seesaw to begin with. They've been on the swings, going back and forth, sometimes out of time, but most importantly together; and it doesn't matter how high one of them goes, because that doesn't stop the other from going just as high.
49. ANYWAY. Fuck sake. I did say that was quite a tangled knot.
50. Mercedes sees the candles and goes, 'Blaine?!'
51. "Well, besides the fact that you two are obviously soulmates." "Oh my god, obviously." I LOVE them.
52. There are bananas in Artie's icecream. For god's sake.
53. "Sex isn't the be all end all." And Klaine are just 'weeeell....'
54. "You know what, we could do an all guys New York City abstinence club!" "No, definitely not, that's not a good idea." "Are you high?"
55. I do like when episodes give me a lot to talk about.
Songs
Addicted to Love
Grade: B
Download: No
I Wanna Know What Love Is
Grade: B+
Download: No
Love is a Battlefield
Grade: A
Download: Yes
Let's Wait Awhile
Grade: C
Download: No
- Artie has been sleeping with two women, and now finds himself with chlamydia. He's also really into this other girl, and asks her on a date. But obviously he can't sleep with her and when he tells her about his STD, she's really grossed out and drops him. She thinks he's a creeper.
- Mercedes and Sam are having the sex talk. Sam has been tested as clean, but Mercedes is a virgin and is still unsure about sleeping with him. Eventually, after praying, she decides that the only person she'll ever sleep with is the one she will marry. Sam is upset, but eventually comes around and agrees to date Mercedes without sleeping with her. And they'll see where it goes from there.
- Blaine has been putting on a few pounds, and is feeling self conscious about it. Kurt, on the other hand, is in better shape then ever. This in turn makes Blaine feel unstable about their relationship. They get into a pretty massive fight about it because Blaine knows that Kurt doesn't need him anymore. But eventually, Kurt makes clear that although he doesn't need Blaine to protect him anymore, he's always going to love him and need him anyway.
1. Cutest sailor boys ever.
2. Blaine is like a little piece of sunshine.
3. Of course he knows his server's name. And probably life story.
4. BLAINE. Blaine that cronut is gross. (This is like the third time they've mentioned cronuts this season. Did they get sponsored, or? Is that a thing that happens?)
5. The line of Kurt's back down to his ass and then his legs, and... um. Well.
6. "The big apple is delicious and I plan on savouring every bite."
7. Look at his tummy. <3
8. I love that American Beauty rip. That movie is my mother's all time favourite.
9. So Artie is sleeping in the dorms, which is a mystery solved.
10. Jesus Christ, Chris Colfer is a beautiful man.
11. "Kurt was, well... Kurt." I really don't like that, Blaine. I shall talk more on why down below.
12. Sam isn't having sex with Mercedes and Klaine are like 'But you sleep in the same room. We don't even live together and we can hardly keep from jumping each other's bones.'
13. And people are like 'Kurt doesn't ever eat anything but junk food! He's a slob! He's an addict!' *rolls eyes*
14. That freaking STD suit.
15. They're watching Glee in that scene, by the way. Some CSI Tumblr person managed to pull up Joaquin Sedillo's name from the screen. Which means that some version of Glee is canon in their universe - maybe it's Sing from The New Normal.
16. "I don't know how!" "Well, do you wear condoms?" "No." "Well that would be how."
17. "Artie needs to be slutshamed! I'm slutshaming you, Artie!"
18. Sam is angry and Klaine are just there like disapproving parents. ('We're not angry with you, Artie, we're just disappointed in the choices you have made.')
19. Sam. Come on, man. Innappropriate in church.
20. So this episode is some kind of unofficial eighties week theme? I don't suppose they can keep introducing the theme week after week by writing it on the board when there is no board to write it on. (And you know what? I have not had a single moment of missing Lima in these episodes.)
21. Sai swords are back!
22. That dude is so hot for Kurt, Jesus.
23. (Same, dude. Same.)
24. My baby is grown up and feeling confident in himself and his body. <3
25. "All I ask is that it's in colour, in English and made after 1989." I kind of adore the unexpected little insight into character that we get here?
26. "Your instrument is as handsome as ever." Kurt's not even thinking about judging Blaine. Blaine's insecurities are very much a product of his own mind.
27. Kurt acts as badly towards porn as he did in season two. Worse, even, because sex is intimacy to Kurt. It's connection and love - a very important thing. And of course Blaine feels the same way, but he's more casual about it than Kurt, a little more carnal maybe, more willing to simply indulge in the feelings of his body. And I think that Kurt knows (logically, at least) that there's nothing wrong with watching porn, but when he realises that Blaine's been horny, but not for him, that's when things kind of go really down hill. Blaine's insecurities are the focus of this plotline, but Kurt has his too. Sex is affirmation for him, and when Blaine starts watching videos instead of going to him, that's a denial of affirmation. I think that had it just been porn then Kurt might not have reacted well, but he wouldn't have been as upset as he becomes in this scene. It's more about the lack of intimacy for him.
28. Rachel has no business being so pretty in sweats, I mean, honestly.
29. I love that they're friends now. Can we please have no more fighting? Pretty please?
30. "I really think we should talk about this." "You know, Blaine, sometimes I think we talk too much." The thing is, Kurt's issues in this episode are relatively easy to make sense of. The boys have trouble communicating, as seen here, which is something that is a work in progress. They're certainly better now than they were at the start of last season. But okay, Kurt not wanting to talk is something that is fairly linear, in a way. It has a very simple solution - talk more, even if you don't want to. Blaine's problems are more more inset and complicated. (People also said that Kurt should be more emotionally available to Blaine? Which is one of those instances where I guess I'm just over-relating to Kurt because I am him basically this entire episode, at least in the way he reacts to things, and I have difficulty seeing where he should be more open to Blaine. *shrug* Maybe it's just people picking Kurt apart again because obviously all the problems in Klaine's relationship are his fault and Blaine is a ~perfect special snowflake~ who never makes mistakes. Whatever.)
31. (Fandom sometimes makes me bitter, can you tell?)
32. God I love this number. The choreography is probably the best it's been all season. It's just fucking awesome.
33. And I am shamelessly a fan of those little glimpses of Kurt's tat that we get.
34. Anyway, okay - these boys are literally attacking each other here, which is a little scary. But also, when Kurt beats Blaine in the fencing, there are people laughing at him, which makes me wonder if Blaine's insecurities actually are partially an outside influence - in that first monologue, he talks about how Kurt is the hotshot now which clearly implies that Blaine, who has always been popular and well liked and had girls and boys swoon over him, hasn't had quite the smooth entrance to NYADA as he might have hoped.
35. (Obligatory snigger at the fact that they're swordfighting after they haven't had sex for a week. Hee.)
36. The fact that Chris said all those things with a straight face. Kudos, man. Oh my god.
37. CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP.
38. This song is painfully eighties.
39. The poor girl is like, 'Why are they all singing to me?!'
40. I feel like we're watching the same scene over and over with Samcedes.
41. You know, as a sexual aromantic, I just cannot for the life of me understand Mercedes' viewpoint here.
42. I just... I don't understand why people were so mad at Kurt for this episode. Like, okay, maybe the way he spoke was firm bordering on harsh, but considering what Blaine was saying about their relationship, I'm surprised he didn't flip his shit completely. I would have. But he was exceedingly patient considering. If my partner had told me that he essentially thought that our relationship worked because he saw me as his lesser, I would have been so offended and hurt that I wouldn't have been able to talk. And it doesn't matter how fragile Blaine was, it was absolutely right of Kurt to set his point of view as clearly as possible. Then he can be there for Blaine, but he is absolutely not wrong for setting his own boundaries first.
43. ANYWAY. So. My big problem with Blaine in this episode - "I don't like the way I feel about myself anymore, Kurt." And all through the episode, we are told that that is indirectly Kurt's fault. Because Kurt is no longer the wilting flower that Blaine first met - he is strong, and he knows who is, and he is moving forward with his life in a way that Blaine just isn't. And Blaine thinks that 'the balance has shifted.' And Kurt goes, 'What balance?' because haven't they always been balanced? But if this episode would have it right, Blaine's previous self esteem came directly from the fact that he had always thought himself better than Kurt. And now that Kurt is doing well, Blaine is faltering, because the balance has shifted. The seesaw has sent Kurt skyhigh, adversely dumping Blaine on the ground. Which just frankly isn't a healthy way to think about any kind of relationship. I mean, fuck, that's an entire feminist ideology - if your man is threatened by your successes, drop him.
44. So that's a tangled knot, and one that I had a hell of a lot of trouble loosening when I first watched this episode. Even coming back now, I'm having trouble figuring out exactly how I made Blaine's thought processes okay in my mind. But here's the thing - humanity isn't logical. It's messy and it doesn't always make sense, and sometimes the way we think gets messed up in our heads. And I don't think that Blaine's viewpoint of Kurt is a constant thing. I don't think that Blaine has constant self esteem issues (and for what it's worth, I'm not a fan of the whole idea that Blaine is depressed or otherwise mentally ill) and as such, I don't think he's constantly comparing himself to Kurt or anyone else. I think quite a lot of the time he's very happy to just muddle along as the person he is, and love Kurt without any conditions attached.
45. But just a few weeks ago, Kurt literally saved someone's life. And I think all of this talk about Kurt needing (not needing) protection and being hero and such is a direct response to that. I think it very starkly reminded Blaine of all the ways he's changed since he asked for help from Karofsky years ago. Blaine loved being needed then, and the fact that Kurt doesn't need him in that way any more has made him feel like he isn't needed at all. The whole thing is about how Blaine views himself in relation to Kurt, but it's not actually about being better than him. It's about the fact that he has not yet learnt to trust his own self worth, and so if he doesn't have a specific use to Kurt then what's the point of him to begin with? As has been the issue right from the beginning, Blaine has trouble believing in the ways Kurt loves him for who he is. And they definitely don't rely on being in need of protection (although maybe, sometimes, that would be nice).
46. And I also think that this shift in self esteem has probably been building from the moment Blaine came to New York. We saw it in New New York - Blaine feeling like he was falling behind and Kurt was so much further ahead, and then crowding Kurt and subsequently moving out (which Blaine has now twisted in his head to Kurt asking him to move out - he does not feel wanted, Kurt does not need him anymore). And then those people who were laughing at Blaine in the combat class. Methinks that Blaine has been feeling a little lonely and inadequate for quite a while now, which triggered the comfort eating and the weight gain, which triggered the comparisons to Kurt, which led to the disparaging thoughts as some kind of defense mechanism/way to work out quite why Blaine feels the way he does. This isn't about Kurt at all.
47. Blaine just wants to be good enough.
48. Kurt has always seen them as equals. In his mind they've never been on the seesaw to begin with. They've been on the swings, going back and forth, sometimes out of time, but most importantly together; and it doesn't matter how high one of them goes, because that doesn't stop the other from going just as high.
49. ANYWAY. Fuck sake. I did say that was quite a tangled knot.
50. Mercedes sees the candles and goes, 'Blaine?!'
51. "Well, besides the fact that you two are obviously soulmates." "Oh my god, obviously." I LOVE them.
52. There are bananas in Artie's icecream. For god's sake.
53. "Sex isn't the be all end all." And Klaine are just 'weeeell....'
54. "You know what, we could do an all guys New York City abstinence club!" "No, definitely not, that's not a good idea." "Are you high?"
55. I do like when episodes give me a lot to talk about.
Songs
Addicted to Love
Grade: B
Download: No
I Wanna Know What Love Is
Grade: B+
Download: No
Love is a Battlefield
Grade: A
Download: Yes
Let's Wait Awhile
Grade: C
Download: No