Things that happened:
- Will and Emma are trying to conceive a child. They're having trouble. (Not really, but apparently a month is a long time in TV world?) There's a lot of misinformed, vaguely misogynistic talk about how to knock Emma up, and eventually it happened. So now Emma is pregnant. Good god.
- Tina is having a hard time about graduation, so Sam and Blaine come together to form a trio that they could do stuff with. They break into the school at night and have a lock in, which is interrupted by Becky. Tina and Sam disappear at one point and Blaine finds them making out. He kind of freaks out a little. And then they're all friends at the end, and bring poor Artie into their little trio.
- Elliott has been recruited by Rachel, who went to his apartment after leaving the loft. He's now her new 'best gay'. Then Santana starts paying Elliott do run lines with her. Then, because Elliott is his own person, he gets fed up and tells them both to piss off.
- Kurt is also pretty angry and kicks them both out of the band. So now it's he, Elliott and Dani in a new band called One Three Hill.
Sporadic thoughts while watching:
1. Gross gross gross gross.
2. "Will and I are trying to conceive a child." "God, why?" Same, Sue.
3. You know, 'certain windows of time' means days, not hours. They had absolutely no good reason to do this at school, so why the fuck weren't they punished?
4. I haaaate this song.
5. Tina has the most badass footwear.
6. See, it's always confused me how they have Rachel use the term 'best gay' because like - she has two dads. I'm legitimately confused as to how she can grow up in that household and not understand the implications of a term like that?
7. I love her outfit by the way. I'm practically drooling over it.
8. Uuugh, Tina's fear over high school ending is so real.
9. Oh, an overnight lock in with school approval? I mean, that's just the most out there idea, Blaine, really.
10. This misinformation in this scene is making me angry. Equating Emma to a fucking goat? "Calm her down before you knock her up"? Not that it's not bullshit anyway, but frankly it would be the quality of sperm that is more likely to suffer because of nerves, not a womb. And by the by, what about the rape victims who end up pregnant? Because something tells me that they're not so calm when they're having sex.
11. When Tina is on the floor and Blaine is looking around all nervous like 'there's nothing to see here, don't worry, keep moving along' - that is totally how he is going to look at his daughter when she throws a tantrum in public.
12. Elliot is being faced with these people's drama for the very first time. He's not dealing very well. Reminds me of one of those reviewers who wanted Elliott to have a web series talking about all the crazy shenanigans of this group. It would be awesome.
13. "Do you know where she keeps it?" "Up her butt." I mean, most realistic response goes to...
14. Nightbird!!
15. "It's my last chance to wear it unless I'm in some creepy fetish club."
16. I'm actually pretty surprised that they lasted this long without doing this song. Sam sounds really good, which is strange since he's normally a C-grade singer. And the chin things are really creepy.
17. Oh, for god's sake. Fertility takes time, as in more than two fucking weeks, and also? Not that I'm surprised that all the pressure is being put on Emma to be the healthy and fertile one (and if she doesn't conceive then it's her 'fault'), but problems with fertility are just as often because of the male counterpart, not just the female. And even if she was infertile, why would it be her fault? Not like she can do anything about it. This plotline is making me angry.
18. This song is actually sickening.
19. BLAINE'S FACE. Oh my god, the drama.
20. "You don't own him, Rachel!" Just a minute ago Rachel told Santana 'I gave you Kurt', as in 'he was mine to give' and Kurt didn't protest. Nothing new, but he's always been more sensitive to other people's wellbeings than his own.
21. Kurt is imagining them both with their heads on spikes.
22. Awww, when Elliott yells at him he looks like a frightened kitten. Poor thing.
23. Blaine's drama is hilarious. "You know how much I love bumper bowling!"
24. "I think I saw a squirrel come out the back of your hair."
25. (Oh! Also, this has been happening for a while now, but look at the way Kurt is sitting. Bent over with elbows on knees, legs spread quite wide. He doesn't sit so often all prim with his knees crossed anymore. Not so feminine.)
26. "Pamela Lansbury... c'est fini." "What?!" Ehhhh, they have groupies! Success, Kurt!
27. Yeeeeeeees.
28. This performance is so very Kurt. The dancing and the outfits and even just the song. Wonderful.
29. It's been a while since Kurt's worn anything except jeans and button ups. I've actually really missed the vests and accessories.
30. Blamtina are a cute trio.
31. Santana jamming with that dude outside her work is very cute.
Songs
Jumpin' Jumpin'
Grade: C
Download: No
Barracuda
Grade: B
Download: No
Don't You (Forget About Me)
Grade: B
Download: No
Danny's Song
Grade: D
Download: No
Gloria
Grade: B+
Download: Yes
The Happening
Grade: A
Download: Yes
Hold On
Grade: B
Download: Yes