Comments | inmy_balls: [ 005

inmy_balls

[ 005 | video ]

Dec 16, 2011 02:36

Hey guys, I was just wonderin' what we were doin' for Christmas around this place. Somethin' tells me Adstring isn't on Santa's list to visit, yeah?

Maybe-- we should all do that Secret Santa thing! And Jewish Santa can be part of Secret Santa so everyone can play! And we all get each other really nice things and be friends! You can never have ( Read more... )

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dogtagcollar December 16 2011, 08:42:32 UTC

...what is a santa?

inmy_balls December 16 2011, 08:43:33 UTC

...are you sure you can handle it?

dogtagcollar December 16 2011, 08:44:34 UTC

I have undergone many psychological stress tests. I am sure.

inmy_balls December 16 2011, 08:46:52 UTC

Well so long as you got those out of the way--

Santa is a fat old man who breaks into your house every year, once a year. He expects cookies, and after eating them, leaves presents and things under your trees. If you've been good. See, Santa takes on the task of stalking every child to know if they've been good or bad. And he makes a list and he checks it twice. And if you, my good sir, have been a bad boy, you get shit in your stocking, those are things you hang by the fireplace to beg for extra gifts. After he's gotten what he wanted, the cookies, and left presents or shit, he tiptoes out of your house like he was never there.

dogtagcollar December 16 2011, 08:48:12 UTC

He is breaking at least four laws, all of which should result in his detainment.

[Immediately.]

I will apprehend him.

inmy_balls December 16 2011, 08:49:38 UTC

-- right.

[Woah. Wut?]

Apprehend...that sounds painful. What is it you're doin' to the guy?

dogtagcollar December 16 2011, 08:50:51 UTC

Detainment, by any means necessary. If he attempts to resist, I have the authority to shoot to kill.

inmy_balls December 16 2011, 08:52:07 UTC

You're right! We can't stand for this! We need to unite and KILL Santa!

[...Nathan is laughing inside.]

dogtagcollar December 16 2011, 08:54:43 UTC

I do not believe that death should be the goal. Merely detainment, imprisonment, and... I suppose a fair trial.

inmy_balls December 16 2011, 08:56:59 UTC

Santa's a fighter man. He's been doin' this for years. He must be stopped!

dogtagcollar December 16 2011, 08:57:46 UTC

I will attempt to do so to the utmost of my abilities.

inmy_balls December 16 2011, 08:58:50 UTC

How do you know Santa's not in disguise around here?

dogtagcollar December 16 2011, 08:59:56 UTC

I have not seen any fat older men. Most of the population here seems to be under the age of twenty-five.

inmy_balls December 16 2011, 09:00:56 UTC

Alright...alright I feel better. He has a big white beard and a jolly laugh and rosy cheeks!

And-- and he usually breaks in from the rooftops! Chimneys, yeah!

dogtagcollar December 16 2011, 09:02:48 UTC

...many homes here do not have fireplaces.

inmy_balls December 16 2011, 09:03:39 UTC

Then you should be careful. He might be crafty.

December 25.

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