Fic: "Ear Tuned To The Roar" (BSG)

[inlovewithnight]

Ear Tuned To The Roar
Written for the brains_in_a_jar challenge.
Characters: Helo, Lee, Six. Canon pairings.
Rating: PG-13
Goes AU before "The Eye of Jupiter"
Summary: What is human, what is Cylon, what is choice?
So very, very many thanks to glossing, who audienced and beta'd and held my hand through a lot of flailing. I really can't thank you enough for your help,

Comments

[poisontaster]

Okay, the fact that he calls Sharon 'baby' makes me wibble and want to cry already, even though I'd read that part. And I just...I can HEAR the voices, you know? It sounds like THEM.

he silently gives way, stepping back and left to make a space for her
Okay, you KNOW my Dee fixation. But this seems particularly profound re: their relationship. There isn't a fixed place for Dee inside of Lee. He is always MAKING space for her, but it doesn't exist on it's own. Not like with Starbuck. Dee is a conscious effort.

because it's true, not because it'll salvage his wife's pride
Also very Lee. I can't decide if that's a virtue or not.

Lee's throat tightens at Kara's question, and beside him, Dee rolls her eyes. What color panties was I wearing the night we met?
*gigglesnorts* It's a good question, you have to admit. Oh, Kara. Oh, LEE.

But I guess I do need to be taken care of now, because I don’t know what to do and I don’t understand. I feel like I’m trapped, tied down and caged and I need to get away. I need to fight, I need to run. But I can’t.
Gods. Just. That's so perfect and such a kick in the balls and it makes me ache...what that must be like for him. Helo always fought and ran and now he's just...inert and that's such anathema to him. He's never BEEN helpless, not really.

I need someone I can trust, his father had said, looking at him with those damn serious eyes, that look that always chokes any protests in Lee's throat. You need someone useless, he thought, someone expendable
This is the truth about the Adamas. Such stupid, miscommunicative pigheaded men. And it's kind of a shame that being the favored children of Adama (Lee, Starbuck) means you get the shit jobs just as much as everyone else.

OMG you're trying to kill me. That Helo's all puppy happy to see Lee? OMG. *FLAILS*

I love the relationship between Vox and Helo; I love how Helo came to Lee's rescue against her protectiveness.

but if you ever start to really believe it, go sit your ass down at a psych evaluation, because your grip on reality's slipping. End of the day, the planes are machines, and that personality's just a collection of glitches.
Oh Lee. You can be so...LIMITED sometimes. This is why you need other people.

he's been making people want to do that since he was a kid.
That's because you can be a Grade A asshat,sometimes, Lee.

"It can't be," he tells her, the Cylon in front of him and the indifferent and nonexistent goddess in his mind. "It can't be Helo, because Helo was dying."
*sighs* And underneath it all, you're really just such a scared little boy. Terrified of the lack of rules.

I love the gradualness of Vox becoming her own peson. Not just a conduit but someone in her own right. And how that, really, is what makes Lee come around. That Vox is a person and thus Karl-in-ship must be too.

when I ask her what she means, she pretends not to see.
Aw, Helo, you big dumb lump.

There's something there about the dichotomy between Helo and Lee...that Lee thinks the best, greatest thing he can do for Helo is help him die. Lee can be so fatalist. It IS often black and white for him. And I understand what he thinks he's offering. And for someone else, it might be an answer. But not Helo. Helo is life personified. Helo is the persistence of life. And in many ways, that's the harder road.

(LJ IS MAKING ME CUT THIS INTO TWO COMMENTS, THAT'S HOW MUCH I HAVE TO SAY)

[poisontaster]

I love the growing dynamic between Vox and Helo. It's intimate but awkward, which is HOW IT SHOULD BE and it's just so perfectly done. And then the weird triangle growing between them, equally awkward, infinitely fragile and yet still visible and there. These are master strokes.

[And you want to? Stay, I mean? You want to stay?]

"It's safe here."
More uncontrollable wibbling and not-quite crying on PT's part.

[I want you to stay.]
*shatters into tiny crinkly pieces* OMFG. *hands* You BITCH. You're making me CRY. I hate you. You're making ME CRY.

He'll come back here again. He'll be their advocate and their connection, and if it ever comes down to it, he'll keep his promise.

But he needs to go home.
In my brand new OT3 heart, I am choosing to believe that he's going home to wrap things up, dammit, and I will not be persuaded otherwise!

Gods, honey. It's endlessly amusing to watch you flail SO HARD and then come up with something as brilliant as this. It's just... It's a masterpiece. A true masterpiece of craft and emotion and I feel so proud to even KNOW you in this moment.... *hugs*

[sabaceanbabe]

What she said! All of it! But especially:

And I understand what he thinks he's offering. And for someone else, it might be an answer. But not Helo. Helo is life personified. Helo is the persistence of life. And in many ways, that's the harder road.

and

It's endlessly amusing to watch you flail SO HARD and then come up with something as brilliant as this. It's just... It's a masterpiece. A true masterpiece of craft and emotion and I feel so proud to even KNOW you in this moment.... *hugs*

including the *hugs*

[inlovewithnight]

Thank you so much! ::hugs you:: Seriously? When you expressed an interest after one of those early snippets I posted, you became one of the people I was writing this *for*. "Well, if PT and [a few other people] like it, then I'll have succeeded." And so the fact that you like it just makes me...::wavy hands:: It means a lot. A lot a lot a lot.

That's because you can be a Grade A asshat,sometimes, Lee.
::snerk:: Well, yes. Oh, LEE.