Hornblower fic recs: With Snark!
This is mostly for the girls of Bamberfest, but obviously, it's unlocked, so everyone's welcome. ::hangs up Welcome sign:: Just remember: I snark because I LOVE. I have deep and real affection for every one of these stories. I just can't help it, Hornblower fandom inherently fills me with amusement along with the love. I can't take it deathly seriously. The man's name is HORATIO HORNBLOWER. (Actually, I try not to take ANY fandom DEATHLY seriously. Don't tell me your opinion on how well I'm doing at that.)
Anyway.
Note: These fics are all Horatio/Archie, because the series' sekrit subtitle is The Totally Awesome Adventures of Young Gay Sailors In Love.
I'm 99% sure that these recs are entirely free of Ripe Plums and Improbable Lube (yes, girls, that means I left out the one where they use MELTED CANDLE WAX. Can I have a "Oh, OW!" all together now? Yeah).
They're all reasonably short, although this fandom does tend toward epics (we're talking not just novellas, but NOVELS out there). For the purposes of amusing y'all, though, I went with short, sweet, and smutty. (Except for the last story listed, which isn't smutty, but I explain about that one when I get there.)
* Clear For Action by MissKittie: An utter and complete PWP, notable for the sheer number of nautical puns used to describe a single sexual encounter. They're truly a thing of beauty, the puns. Oh, and Archie gets to top this time, which I'm sure is very exciting for him.
* On Account by Cimmerianwillow: This is a pretty good introduction to two typical HH subgenres: the First Time fic and slut!Archie, a shameless wanton hussy of a man who seduces poor innocent Mr. Hornblower.
* Close to Flying by MissKittie: This story is a bit odd...oddly shaped, is the best way I can describe it, and the pacing feels a little off to me. But it's probably the closest fit I've read to how I think Horatio actually would react to beginning a relationship with Archie: terribly conflicted between pleasure and his firm ideas about honor, duty, and the Way Things Are, and completely horrified by his body's undignified behavior.
* Decollete by Cimmerianwillow: Our Heroes must escape from a French city! Of course their disguise must involve Horatio dressing up in drag (complete with makeup)! Oh, c'mon, wouldn't Ioan Gruffudd be a gorgeous girl? The hair alone...oh, and that MOUTH. Angelina Jolie's got nothin' on him.
* Time Well Spent by Janis Cortese: A good, fairly typical example of the "Spanish Prison Fic" subgenre. You'll never look at limes quite the same way again, I'll say that much.
* Portsmouth by Nicole D'Annais: Great example of the "Drinking Portsmouth Dry" subgenre. (Look, producers, you can't GIVE fangirls a line like that and not expect us to run with it, okay? God.)
* Negotiation by Janis Cortese: The Massaredo/Archie fic I talked about at Bamberfest. It's very well-written, and beautifully angsty, but remember, if you want to take this seriously at all, it is VITAL that you picture someone else in the role of Massaredo. Personally, I use Antonio Banderas. (There are two stories attached to this one; not so much sequels as expansions on it. Against The Shadow and Tales From The Ferrol
* Beyond Duty and Friendship and Lies by Belmanoir: (Don't think of this as story and sequel; they're two parts of a whole and you miss half the impact if you skip either.) Archie's awfully pretty when he's broken. Horatio's so oblivious, it makes my heart ache. And it's a great example of an unreliable narrator. First-person Archie interprets Horatio's actions one way, while the reader can oh so clearly see they mean something else. Gah. It's angsty and lovely and it hurts.
* Rappeler by Nifra Idril: Odd title, but the subtitle should clarify- "Four Ways Horatio Won't Remember Archie, and One Way He Will." This is a rec without snark or irony. "Rappeler" is beautifully written, achingly spare and quiet, and makes me break down in tears every time I read it.
And finally, you could read my stuff, cause I'm a slut like that. ::cough:: The Undiscovered Shore and Lives and Deaths of Archie Kennedy (Five Things That Never Happened).
And that, as they say, is that. Go forth, read, enjoy the slashy sailors.
Mini Jayne reference just now on The Inside! WHOO! ::loves Minear madly::
Anyway.
Note: These fics are all Horatio/Archie, because the series' sekrit subtitle is The Totally Awesome Adventures of Young Gay Sailors In Love.
I'm 99% sure that these recs are entirely free of Ripe Plums and Improbable Lube (yes, girls, that means I left out the one where they use MELTED CANDLE WAX. Can I have a "Oh, OW!" all together now? Yeah).
They're all reasonably short, although this fandom does tend toward epics (we're talking not just novellas, but NOVELS out there). For the purposes of amusing y'all, though, I went with short, sweet, and smutty. (Except for the last story listed, which isn't smutty, but I explain about that one when I get there.)
* Clear For Action by MissKittie: An utter and complete PWP, notable for the sheer number of nautical puns used to describe a single sexual encounter. They're truly a thing of beauty, the puns. Oh, and Archie gets to top this time, which I'm sure is very exciting for him.
* On Account by Cimmerianwillow: This is a pretty good introduction to two typical HH subgenres: the First Time fic and slut!Archie, a shameless wanton hussy of a man who seduces poor innocent Mr. Hornblower.
* Close to Flying by MissKittie: This story is a bit odd...oddly shaped, is the best way I can describe it, and the pacing feels a little off to me. But it's probably the closest fit I've read to how I think Horatio actually would react to beginning a relationship with Archie: terribly conflicted between pleasure and his firm ideas about honor, duty, and the Way Things Are, and completely horrified by his body's undignified behavior.
* Decollete by Cimmerianwillow: Our Heroes must escape from a French city! Of course their disguise must involve Horatio dressing up in drag (complete with makeup)! Oh, c'mon, wouldn't Ioan Gruffudd be a gorgeous girl? The hair alone...oh, and that MOUTH. Angelina Jolie's got nothin' on him.
* Time Well Spent by Janis Cortese: A good, fairly typical example of the "Spanish Prison Fic" subgenre. You'll never look at limes quite the same way again, I'll say that much.
* Portsmouth by Nicole D'Annais: Great example of the "Drinking Portsmouth Dry" subgenre. (Look, producers, you can't GIVE fangirls a line like that and not expect us to run with it, okay? God.)
* Negotiation by Janis Cortese: The Massaredo/Archie fic I talked about at Bamberfest. It's very well-written, and beautifully angsty, but remember, if you want to take this seriously at all, it is VITAL that you picture someone else in the role of Massaredo. Personally, I use Antonio Banderas. (There are two stories attached to this one; not so much sequels as expansions on it. Against The Shadow and Tales From The Ferrol
* Beyond Duty and Friendship and Lies by Belmanoir: (Don't think of this as story and sequel; they're two parts of a whole and you miss half the impact if you skip either.) Archie's awfully pretty when he's broken. Horatio's so oblivious, it makes my heart ache. And it's a great example of an unreliable narrator. First-person Archie interprets Horatio's actions one way, while the reader can oh so clearly see they mean something else. Gah. It's angsty and lovely and it hurts.
* Rappeler by Nifra Idril: Odd title, but the subtitle should clarify- "Four Ways Horatio Won't Remember Archie, and One Way He Will." This is a rec without snark or irony. "Rappeler" is beautifully written, achingly spare and quiet, and makes me break down in tears every time I read it.
And finally, you could read my stuff, cause I'm a slut like that. ::cough:: The Undiscovered Shore and Lives and Deaths of Archie Kennedy (Five Things That Never Happened).
And that, as they say, is that. Go forth, read, enjoy the slashy sailors.
Mini Jayne reference just now on The Inside! WHOO! ::loves Minear madly::