lines and signposts
I've been thinking a lot lately about boundaries. Not because anything's going on; the opposite, really, I think it's because all of my interpersonal relationships are pretty stable and positive right now that I have the time/spare emotional energy TO think about boundaries. Also I've been reading a lot of Captain Awkward, and her advice is pretty much all boundary, clear communication, and self-care related.
Captain Awkward is also one of the very rare sites out there where reading the comments is a good idea, as the commentariat gives excellent advice and support. I learn a lot reading over there. I think the CA commentariat has taught me as much as the Feministe commentariat, but without the feeling that I'm tiptoeing through a field of land mines and could be destroyed at any moment.
I like CA's advice a lot, though sometimes her scripts are not things you can actually say to other human beings without getting back "Why the fuck are you talking at me like that, talk like a PERSON, not a therapist." Or maybe that's just people I know.
Anyway, yes. Communication! Boundaries! Self-care! It's all happening, or at least all being read about and pondered on. Some good recent letters/threads:
The rare one-size-fits-all approach to when your friends run themselves down in front of you
How do you say 'I don't love you'? Similarly themed, My mom gives me the silent treatment
How do I set a boundary with my friend without hurting her feelings?
Life blows. How can I be nice to myself again?
ETA: Can't believe I forgot The sandwich means I love you. So wonderful.
**
In other news, a post I saw earlier made me want to buy the MASH series boxset, because MASH, comfort viewing of my childhood! But, you know. Expensive, and also, I am a MASH heathen, in that I far, far prefer the BJ/Col. Potter seasons to the Trapper/Henry seasons. Like, to the point where I actually turn Trapper/Henry episodes off when they come up on TV reruns. :( So I will not do this, but I will be humming "Suicide Is Painless" at the cat all afternoon.
How are all of you?
The Dreamwidth copy of this post has
comments. Comment there or here, as you like!
Captain Awkward is also one of the very rare sites out there where reading the comments is a good idea, as the commentariat gives excellent advice and support. I learn a lot reading over there. I think the CA commentariat has taught me as much as the Feministe commentariat, but without the feeling that I'm tiptoeing through a field of land mines and could be destroyed at any moment.
I like CA's advice a lot, though sometimes her scripts are not things you can actually say to other human beings without getting back "Why the fuck are you talking at me like that, talk like a PERSON, not a therapist." Or maybe that's just people I know.
Anyway, yes. Communication! Boundaries! Self-care! It's all happening, or at least all being read about and pondered on. Some good recent letters/threads:
The rare one-size-fits-all approach to when your friends run themselves down in front of you
How do you say 'I don't love you'? Similarly themed, My mom gives me the silent treatment
How do I set a boundary with my friend without hurting her feelings?
Life blows. How can I be nice to myself again?
ETA: Can't believe I forgot The sandwich means I love you. So wonderful.
**
In other news, a post I saw earlier made me want to buy the MASH series boxset, because MASH, comfort viewing of my childhood! But, you know. Expensive, and also, I am a MASH heathen, in that I far, far prefer the BJ/Col. Potter seasons to the Trapper/Henry seasons. Like, to the point where I actually turn Trapper/Henry episodes off when they come up on TV reruns. :( So I will not do this, but I will be humming "Suicide Is Painless" at the cat all afternoon.
How are all of you?
The Dreamwidth copy of this post has
comments. Comment there or here, as you like!