Fic: "alt.shakespeare.burbage" (Slings & Arrows)

[inlovewithnight]

For sionnain. Thanks to likeadeuce for help and about half of this, and to the American Shakespeare Center of Staunton, VA for further inspiration.

Comments

[likeadeuce]

Oh, God, this is brilliant!

"Internet pornography is not one of the ideals of the theater."

And I think that, for Geoffrey, calling yourself a Stratfordian would be like starting a 'Round Earth Society.'

[inlovewithnight]

I bet Geoffrey is awesome in a flamewar. Until Anna has to ban Internet for the whole festival, because he's NOT GETTING ANYTHING DONE.

[likeadeuce]

Also, yay ASC! (ozymandias victory arms \o/), and I really did hang out in a shakespeare usenet group that was dominated by Oxfordians. I just kind of took for granted that a lot of people believed that stuff. It turned out there were 6 of them who all hung out on that newsgroup. There was also a dude obsessed with how the Fool was really Cordelia, and how Iago was really black. I can't remember how many of these were the same people, but you get the idea.

[inlovewithnight]

Ha ha ha ha. It would take Geoffrey FOREVER to realize they were the same six people, and in the meantime his blood pressure would suffer horribly.

Ellen, of course, doesn't really know what the Internet is. Nor does she care.

[inathunderstorm]

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I DON'T EVEN HAVE WORDS FOR IT. I WOULD QUOTE MY FAVORITE BITS AT YOU BUT OMFG IT WOULD BE THE WHOLE THING AND I LOVE IT AND IT IS SO PERFECT AND *DARREN* AND OMG *GEOFFREY*---HE'S SO PERFECT AHHHHHHHHHHH--AND I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS OMG OMG OMG.

::breathes::

This?

"It is entirely different from those, Darren," Geoffrey said, getting up out of his seat and leaning on the table, "because you are prancing around the Internet naked."

"I hardly prance."

"Darren, you have pranced since the day I met you, and you will be prancing long after despair has driven me to an early grave."

Darren looked at him for a moment, pursing his lips. "Don't make promises you don't intend to keep, Geoffrey."

"Okay, okay." Richard put his hands up. "Let's compromise."

"What a shock," Darren said, "the bureaucrat wants to compromise. You would sell out art for five pieces of silver."

"Don't bring religion into your Internet peep show," Geoffrey said, and Darren jumped to his feet, slamming his hands down on the table.

[inlovewithnight]

::hearts:: I'm glad you liked it, bb! Poor Geoffrey hasn't even seen his first flamewar yet.

[inlovewithnight]

Thanks! :)

[inlovewithnight]

Anna's just going to give up and pull the plug, yep.

Thanks! :)

[minervacat]

i looooooooooooooooove this. GEOFFREY DISCOVERS THE INTERNET. AMAZING.

[inlovewithnight]

Thank you!

The Internet and Geoffrey are not ready for each other.