[brucemas day 4]
So, as mentioned, I don't feel so great tonight; therefore, I am cheating at Brucemas. Yes, cheating; I'm doing a joke Christmas song that requires almost no commentary on my part.
I'm also providing a download, though, for what that's worth.
Anyway. "Pilgrim In The Temple Of Love." Or, Chistmas at the strip club.
On his episode of Storytellers, Bruce tells a rambling and nearly incomprehensible story about how he used to love going to strip clubs, the really cheesy and seedy ones on the side of the highway, but eventually got famous enough that he couldn't do that anymore without people scolding him and telling him he shouldn't be there. This leads to the story about how any given Springsteen is a figment of his many selves, and the REAL Bruce is at home, doing good deeds. (Which produced an icon. ::points::)
Presumably, the following charming anecdote comes from the days right on the cusp between young Bruce with his double fistful of singles, and Old Man Springsteen who isn't allowed out of the barn because he embarrasses his children and brings shame and consternation to his fans.
As for insightful commentary: at the end of the day, the guy's a storyteller, and he likes making his audience feel things. In this case, he wants them to laugh when he delivers lines like Santa followed me out into the parking lot and threw up on the hood of the car next to mine. Because that is hilarious.
Also, I think Bruce likes boobs. It's just a hunch.
It was Christmas Eve, I was standin' in the parking lot
of "Fabulous Girls, Nude - Nude - Nude"
In the car next to me there was a young lady givin' a blow-job
to a man in a Santa Claus suit
His beard was crooked, his hat askew
Embarrassed, I turned to go
When from the back seat of that Mazda I heard somebody shout "Oh Baby, don't stop"
And a merry "Ho-ho-ho"
When I walked inside, I ordered a beer and a double shot of whiskey
And in three minutes I had fallen in love
The DJ announced "Ladies and gentlemen, from Forth Worth, Texas: Lady Godiva"
And I sat and worshipped 'neath the angel above
At the end of her set she brushed her hair
Came and sat on the stool to my right
And said "Buddy, will you buy me a drink?"
Well, my heart beat fast, my trousers grew tight
And wittily I replied "Uhhh...."
She showed me a picture of her kid
Said during the day she was a commercial art student
But five nights a week she dances for slobs and idiots like this--
Uh, present company excluded.
On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
I'm lost in the valley of the supervixens
Worshippin' at the feet of the goddess above
I'm a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple of love
Well then Santa came stumblin' in, and somebody shouted
"Hey Santa, where's your elves?"
He sat down on the stool to my left
And the bartender took a vodka bottle of the shelf
He asked if Mrs. Claus had called
To tell her he worked on the late shift at the mall
And he was sorry, but he just got through
I turned and I asked him:
"How's the kids this year, Santa?"
He downed his shot and beneath his breath whispered a merry "fuck you"
On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
I'm lost in the valley of the supervixens
Worshippin' at the feet of the goddess above
I'm a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple of love
Well then the owner come over and he was a short fat funny-looking guy
With a kind of pushed-in face
He shook my hand and said it was the first time
They'd ever had a real superstar in this place
Lady Godiva bought me a few drinks
Words came out of my mouth
What they were, I couldn't guess
But it was something about showgirls, lapdancing, Motley Crue
You can guess the rest
On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
I'm lost in the valley of the supervixens
Worshippin' at the feet of the goddess above
I'm a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple of love
Well I walked outside, snow was falling
It was just about Christmas time
Santa followed me into the parking lot
And threw up on the hood of the car next to mine
I gave him my handkerchief, pulled out on the highway
And as I sat at the light
I swear I saw a sleigh with twelve of reindeers
Pull up out of the parking lot and cut across the mall
And I heard a voice shout "Merry Christmas to all you assholes
and to all a good fucking night!"
On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
I'm lost in the valley of the supervixens
Worshippin' at the feet of the goddess above
I'm a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple of love
Download: Pilgrim In The Temple Of Love
I'm also providing a download, though, for what that's worth.
Anyway. "Pilgrim In The Temple Of Love." Or, Chistmas at the strip club.
On his episode of Storytellers, Bruce tells a rambling and nearly incomprehensible story about how he used to love going to strip clubs, the really cheesy and seedy ones on the side of the highway, but eventually got famous enough that he couldn't do that anymore without people scolding him and telling him he shouldn't be there. This leads to the story about how any given Springsteen is a figment of his many selves, and the REAL Bruce is at home, doing good deeds. (Which produced an icon. ::points::)
Presumably, the following charming anecdote comes from the days right on the cusp between young Bruce with his double fistful of singles, and Old Man Springsteen who isn't allowed out of the barn because he embarrasses his children and brings shame and consternation to his fans.
As for insightful commentary: at the end of the day, the guy's a storyteller, and he likes making his audience feel things. In this case, he wants them to laugh when he delivers lines like Santa followed me out into the parking lot and threw up on the hood of the car next to mine. Because that is hilarious.
Also, I think Bruce likes boobs. It's just a hunch.
It was Christmas Eve, I was standin' in the parking lot
of "Fabulous Girls, Nude - Nude - Nude"
In the car next to me there was a young lady givin' a blow-job
to a man in a Santa Claus suit
His beard was crooked, his hat askew
Embarrassed, I turned to go
When from the back seat of that Mazda I heard somebody shout "Oh Baby, don't stop"
And a merry "Ho-ho-ho"
When I walked inside, I ordered a beer and a double shot of whiskey
And in three minutes I had fallen in love
The DJ announced "Ladies and gentlemen, from Forth Worth, Texas: Lady Godiva"
And I sat and worshipped 'neath the angel above
At the end of her set she brushed her hair
Came and sat on the stool to my right
And said "Buddy, will you buy me a drink?"
Well, my heart beat fast, my trousers grew tight
And wittily I replied "Uhhh...."
She showed me a picture of her kid
Said during the day she was a commercial art student
But five nights a week she dances for slobs and idiots like this--
Uh, present company excluded.
On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
I'm lost in the valley of the supervixens
Worshippin' at the feet of the goddess above
I'm a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple of love
Well then Santa came stumblin' in, and somebody shouted
"Hey Santa, where's your elves?"
He sat down on the stool to my left
And the bartender took a vodka bottle of the shelf
He asked if Mrs. Claus had called
To tell her he worked on the late shift at the mall
And he was sorry, but he just got through
I turned and I asked him:
"How's the kids this year, Santa?"
He downed his shot and beneath his breath whispered a merry "fuck you"
On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
I'm lost in the valley of the supervixens
Worshippin' at the feet of the goddess above
I'm a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple of love
Well then the owner come over and he was a short fat funny-looking guy
With a kind of pushed-in face
He shook my hand and said it was the first time
They'd ever had a real superstar in this place
Lady Godiva bought me a few drinks
Words came out of my mouth
What they were, I couldn't guess
But it was something about showgirls, lapdancing, Motley Crue
You can guess the rest
On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
I'm lost in the valley of the supervixens
Worshippin' at the feet of the goddess above
I'm a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple of love
Well I walked outside, snow was falling
It was just about Christmas time
Santa followed me into the parking lot
And threw up on the hood of the car next to mine
I gave him my handkerchief, pulled out on the highway
And as I sat at the light
I swear I saw a sleigh with twelve of reindeers
Pull up out of the parking lot and cut across the mall
And I heard a voice shout "Merry Christmas to all you assholes
and to all a good fucking night!"
On Donner, on Dancer, on Comet, on Blitzen
I'm lost in the valley of the supervixens
Worshippin' at the feet of the goddess above
I'm a pilgrim in the temple of love, ma, just a pilgrim in the temple of love
Download: Pilgrim In The Temple Of Love