love and hate are both four-letter words.
FOUR MORE DAYS of work.
In precisely 6 days, I will never again pick up a phone without it being of my own free will, and I will never have to inquire about anyone's vacuum or whether or not they have allergies, asthma, pets, or carpet.
Because really, who the fuck CARES about that?
I am so fed up with telemarketing. And my gross boss. And Ben, the scary man in the front office who makes $120,000 a year to sleep in his big leather chair while sporadically watching satellite TV and playing golf online just because he periodically picks up a phone and yells four-letter words at the salesguys, and who only knows me as "girl" even though I've been working there for more than 3 months now.
I had the worst call I've ever had today,
Lady: "Hello?"
Me: "Hello, Mrs. Wynnyck?"
Lady: [rudely] "This is Marlene Wynnyck."
Me: "Mrs. Wynnyck?"
Lady: "This is Marlene Wynnyck."
Me: "...I'm sorry to bother you ma'am..."
Lady: "This is Marlene Wynnyck."
Me: [pause.] "...sorry to bother you ma'am, this is Sharaya calling on behalf of..."
Lady: [interrupting and even more rudely] "Listen, you OBVIOUSLY need a vocabulary lesson, because the word ma'am comes from the word Madame which is the French title for a woman who is MARRIED."
Me: "Umm actually I have a fine vocabulary, thank you, and I KNOW what that word means..."
Lady: [acting holier-than-thou] "Well it means a woman who is MARRIED, and it is rude to presume..."
Me: [getting fed up] "I'm sorry, but there is no way to tell if you are married or not from the phone book..."
Lady: "Well then the correct word to use would be Ms., not Mrs."
Me: "You're right, MS. Wynnyck...but I can't very well say 'Sorry to bother you MS.'" [seeing as how that sounds COMPLETLEY FUCKING RIDICULOUS AND NO ONE HAS EVER GOTTEN THAT OFFENDED BEFORE until this pretentious bitch]
QueenBitch: [arrogant silence]
Me: "Listen, I'm sorry to bother you MIZZZZZ. Wynnyck. My name is Sharaya and I'm calling on behalf of EXL. We're just conducting an allergy study in your area today, do you or anyone in your home have any allergies or asthma?" [at this point I obviously know she's not going to be doing any survey but I have to get the last word in]
Twat-Whore: "Yes, actually, I'm allergic to telephone solicitation." [officially the least creative and unsurprising comeback in the book, IF there was a book of semi-witty telemarketing comebacks]
Me: [sarcastic, equally rude, and refusing to go down without a fight] "Wow, that's really clever MA'AM [catch that? I did that on purpose to further piss her highness off], I've never heard THAT one before!"
I then slammed the phone on HER, which we telemarketers rarely get to do. And it felt fucking fabulous.
But it was pretty much only the cherry on top of the worst day of work ever.
I mean, I've gotten "Stop calling me," "You guys are rude," "Take me off your list," "Get a real job," and many many people hanging up in my ear, and as tempting as it is, I've never once been rude back to them.
But come on, belittling and insulting a person's vocab skills? That's just where I draw the fucking line.
I think I might call her back tomorrow, tell her that perhaps if she wasn't a miserable, pretentious troll, she wouldn't be alone for what seems like will be the rest of her life. Then I'll hang up real loudly in her ear so as to cause her minor temporary deafness so she no longer gets to listen to herself speak, which she seems to like to do.
(It's so wrong that someone attacking my vocabulary skills can get me this riled up.)
P.S.: Big Brother tonight was the best episode I've ever seen in my life.
In precisely 6 days, I will never again pick up a phone without it being of my own free will, and I will never have to inquire about anyone's vacuum or whether or not they have allergies, asthma, pets, or carpet.
Because really, who the fuck CARES about that?
I am so fed up with telemarketing. And my gross boss. And Ben, the scary man in the front office who makes $120,000 a year to sleep in his big leather chair while sporadically watching satellite TV and playing golf online just because he periodically picks up a phone and yells four-letter words at the salesguys, and who only knows me as "girl" even though I've been working there for more than 3 months now.
I had the worst call I've ever had today,
Lady: "Hello?"
Me: "Hello, Mrs. Wynnyck?"
Lady: [rudely] "This is Marlene Wynnyck."
Me: "Mrs. Wynnyck?"
Lady: "This is Marlene Wynnyck."
Me: "...I'm sorry to bother you ma'am..."
Lady: "This is Marlene Wynnyck."
Me: [pause.] "...sorry to bother you ma'am, this is Sharaya calling on behalf of..."
Lady: [interrupting and even more rudely] "Listen, you OBVIOUSLY need a vocabulary lesson, because the word ma'am comes from the word Madame which is the French title for a woman who is MARRIED."
Me: "Umm actually I have a fine vocabulary, thank you, and I KNOW what that word means..."
Lady: [acting holier-than-thou] "Well it means a woman who is MARRIED, and it is rude to presume..."
Me: [getting fed up] "I'm sorry, but there is no way to tell if you are married or not from the phone book..."
Lady: "Well then the correct word to use would be Ms., not Mrs."
Me: "You're right, MS. Wynnyck...but I can't very well say 'Sorry to bother you MS.'" [seeing as how that sounds COMPLETLEY FUCKING RIDICULOUS AND NO ONE HAS EVER GOTTEN THAT OFFENDED BEFORE until this pretentious bitch]
QueenBitch: [arrogant silence]
Me: "Listen, I'm sorry to bother you MIZZZZZ. Wynnyck. My name is Sharaya and I'm calling on behalf of EXL. We're just conducting an allergy study in your area today, do you or anyone in your home have any allergies or asthma?" [at this point I obviously know she's not going to be doing any survey but I have to get the last word in]
Twat-Whore: "Yes, actually, I'm allergic to telephone solicitation." [officially the least creative and unsurprising comeback in the book, IF there was a book of semi-witty telemarketing comebacks]
Me: [sarcastic, equally rude, and refusing to go down without a fight] "Wow, that's really clever MA'AM [catch that? I did that on purpose to further piss her highness off], I've never heard THAT one before!"
I then slammed the phone on HER, which we telemarketers rarely get to do. And it felt fucking fabulous.
But it was pretty much only the cherry on top of the worst day of work ever.
I mean, I've gotten "Stop calling me," "You guys are rude," "Take me off your list," "Get a real job," and many many people hanging up in my ear, and as tempting as it is, I've never once been rude back to them.
But come on, belittling and insulting a person's vocab skills? That's just where I draw the fucking line.
I think I might call her back tomorrow, tell her that perhaps if she wasn't a miserable, pretentious troll, she wouldn't be alone for what seems like will be the rest of her life. Then I'll hang up real loudly in her ear so as to cause her minor temporary deafness so she no longer gets to listen to herself speak, which she seems to like to do.
(It's so wrong that someone attacking my vocabulary skills can get me this riled up.)
P.S.: Big Brother tonight was the best episode I've ever seen in my life.