Hi lj

[inloveandwar]

When I was a junior in highschool, I started this live journal. For years i would make entries and check other peoples entries almost everday. This would be the first time in 7 months that I have even types livejournal.com into my adress bar. Life has been great since my last post. Hectic, stressful, hard, educational, intense, and successful are just a few words that some up my life lately. 1st. School is almost over for me. I am in the middle of finishing my SR. year at UCF. I am all to excited to get up out of here, and start searching who I really am. I feel like I have no time between work, school and djing, to have time for Anita searching. So far my GPA is pretty solid, but I dont even think I am going to coninue my education right after undergrads. I have decided to take a year off and persue other aspirations that I have dreamt of for so long, that I couldnt even think about because of my very intense school schdule. A b.s in psychology is not easy, and really, it isnt fun at all either. 2nd. My wonderful Justin. Three years of love, heart ache, passion, and friendship. If i could sum up our relationship I would say, educational. Justin and I decided to end our relationship in july. We were so in love for two years, and then something happened... we started to grow up. We were both 18 or 19 when we met, and for us at that age, there was nothing but time, and love to share. As both of us started to get jobs, and figure out who we wanted to be and where we wanted to be in life, our relationship became a friendship. A support system. Which conflicted with the rules of a romance. The romance sort of ceased to exist. It was strickly a really good friendship and nothing else. We grew bored of eachother romantically, and it put stress on us mentally. So we eneded it. It was a very positive experience. I learned so much about myself through justin. SO MUCH. He helped me through the hardest times of college and my youth. He helped me through sickness and health. He showed me unconditional love, and he showed me a true friendship. I learned how i act with other people. I learned what i liked about people and what I dont like about people through dating justin. We were practically brother and sister, and that wasnt healthy for a romatic relationship. So we both moved on, and have never been happier with one another as friends. We are very close still, and I love talking to him every chance I get. Not to mention we still dj together three times a week, and it works so much better. We never fight with oneanother. We never faught until the last year. From then on it was fighting every day. Not phsycially but mentally taxing fighting. I love justin, always will. 3rd. I have met a new person. He is beautiful, brilliant, and talented. Things are very new. We met almost a year ago. Nothing came from meeting. I just thought he was very attractive and full of life. that was something I starved for while with Justin, life. Anyway, he has a lot of life in him. He is very exciting, and full of energy. He is everything I look for in a good person. I hope things work out. I have problems comparing my new relationship with my old one. I have problems comparing him with justin. Not because eaither of them are better or worse than the other, but because I have had 0 window of being single and my past relationship habbits are still embedded in me. I am trying very hard to work with this problem. He also happens to live in ybor. I see him once a week, and that is very hard for us. I am falling in love with him, and it makes me very insecure. I feel uneasy when I am single, or dating somone new. I am so scared of being hurt, that I fuck up, and runaway. I am trying desperately not to do that with him, because he has expresseed very strong feelings, and I dont want to hurt him just as I dont want to get hurt. He makes me smile and he makes me feel safe which is really important. My mother thinks he;s the one. I dont know why she jumps to those conclusions, but if he were the one, it would be nice. But i am still only 21. I wasnt looking for a relationship at all. After Justin and i broke up I decided that I didnt want anything thing to do with a relationship, and then I met someone who blew me away, and I couldnt resist. 4th. My djing has been a very prominant part of my life. I started djing a new party in tampa, its called PULP the party. So that makes it so bodywerx has three residencies. Ive been practising a lot, and i really want to start making remixes and such. I am very happy that I have actually found something that I am very passionate about, and love doing. Im not to bad at it either. I have a lot of work to do. I just recently recorded a mix, and I posted it online. www.myspace.com/bodywerx. I hope in the next couple years ill make a lot of improvements and hopefully succeed. 5th. I moved into a new house!!! Mike, tin tin , and I are all living on Oregon, which is close to downtown.

thats pretty much it
sorry theres so much. I havnt updated in forever
and if you dont like it, dont read it
im an open book, and I like to keep it that way. So yea, I got nothing to hide.