(no subject)
ive seen it all and i have lived none of it. im not falling nor am i going up in any direction, but i keep myself in limbo where nothing ever happens. i am tired but i am satisfied where i am. i am tired of my life. when something challenging comes up and i am unable to meet it. it is safe, though, to be who i am because when im isolated i can just go into my own little world where i can imagine what could be... So far i have been unwilling to face my fears of talking in groups and improving myself so that i can maybe be more confident when i need to speak up. Today is another day when i feel like i have lost my way and i want nothing more than to just vanish. i dont want anyone to pit ty me or try to cheer me up because i'm down. i do not know. I do know that a better life for me is right there for me to reach out and grab but i do not know why i'm so scared to grab it.