Mi Madre
I have a lot of thoughts and nowhere to really put them except here. This also kind allows people to be updated... that is... if anyone really reads this.
My parents and brother made a surprise visit to Athens on Friday. They wouldn't tell me why they were here but my mom said I needed to pack a bag and my dad would pick me up. So, freaking out, I pack some stuff and waited for my dad. I got to the hotel where my family was staying and received some devastating news.
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer on Tuesday. Her doctor told her it looked very treatable and everything looked okay on Tuesday. But then, on Thursday, after more tests, the doctor said it was worse than she thought and didn't look easily treatable. My mom, for a couple of days, was very convinced that she was going to die. It's not something I like hearing my mom talk about. And it's scary to think that the strongest woman I know is battling cancer. I don't want to lose her. It's not fair.
So what's next? Tomorrow/later today (depending on how you look at it), she is getting some more tests done. They are doing a full body scan and some other stuff to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of her body. She should know Thursday what the results are and I'll find out on Friday when I go home this weekend. *crosses fingers* I'm praying that everything is okay. Then, she's hoping she can start her chemotherapy treatments on Friday. She has to shave her head and prepare to lose her hair within 6 days for the first treatment. My aunt Sharon took her to look at wigs and they said they picked out a good one. That way Mom can keep looking stylish. From there... I don't really know. We'll just have to wait and see.
How am I doing? I'm alright. It's been a rough weekend/beginning of the week. I don't think I've made it through a whole day without crying yet. Fortunately I have a great support group here. There are a few people on campus that I know I could call and they would come sit with me if I felt alone. My boyfriend, Nick, has been amazing. He doesn't think he has done much to help me, but he really has. Just sitting with me and watching Disney movies with me made my weekend a little better. I was so afraid to be alone. I think I was alone for a grand total of maybe a half hour of my awake hours, and during that half hour, I was freaked out and just wanted someone to be there. It helps to have someone to hold my hand, give me a hug, or a back rub. I'm so glad that I have this boy here, not to mention my amazing friends and roommate. I also know I have friends who are just a phone call away and would listen until I had nothing else to say. So, yeah, I'm going to be okay. I just hate the fact that I can't be there to help take care of my mom. I wish I were at home just so I could spend time with her and help her. All I can really do is call her everyday and continue to work hard at school. That's what she told me to do.
I don't know. I'll try to keep updating. I don't really have much more to say.
Please, if you believe in the power of prayer, pray for my mommy. If you don't, please keep her in your thoughts and mentally send a little love and hope her way.
Her Song - Katie Reider
Let this be her legend.
Let this be her voice.
Let this be her vision
Let this be her choice
To remain as we knew her,
Strong and poised as the one we love.
For we know you chose her
To run the race and stride
But others we just want
To keep her by our sides
Because the fear loss tears at our hearts
When it's close to us
What I would give to take her place
To wash the pain from her face
Cleanse her body free of this
So let this be her legend.
Let this be her voice.
Let this be her vision.
Let this be her choice
To remain as we knew her,
Strong and poised as the one we love.
My parents and brother made a surprise visit to Athens on Friday. They wouldn't tell me why they were here but my mom said I needed to pack a bag and my dad would pick me up. So, freaking out, I pack some stuff and waited for my dad. I got to the hotel where my family was staying and received some devastating news.
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer on Tuesday. Her doctor told her it looked very treatable and everything looked okay on Tuesday. But then, on Thursday, after more tests, the doctor said it was worse than she thought and didn't look easily treatable. My mom, for a couple of days, was very convinced that she was going to die. It's not something I like hearing my mom talk about. And it's scary to think that the strongest woman I know is battling cancer. I don't want to lose her. It's not fair.
So what's next? Tomorrow/later today (depending on how you look at it), she is getting some more tests done. They are doing a full body scan and some other stuff to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of her body. She should know Thursday what the results are and I'll find out on Friday when I go home this weekend. *crosses fingers* I'm praying that everything is okay. Then, she's hoping she can start her chemotherapy treatments on Friday. She has to shave her head and prepare to lose her hair within 6 days for the first treatment. My aunt Sharon took her to look at wigs and they said they picked out a good one. That way Mom can keep looking stylish. From there... I don't really know. We'll just have to wait and see.
How am I doing? I'm alright. It's been a rough weekend/beginning of the week. I don't think I've made it through a whole day without crying yet. Fortunately I have a great support group here. There are a few people on campus that I know I could call and they would come sit with me if I felt alone. My boyfriend, Nick, has been amazing. He doesn't think he has done much to help me, but he really has. Just sitting with me and watching Disney movies with me made my weekend a little better. I was so afraid to be alone. I think I was alone for a grand total of maybe a half hour of my awake hours, and during that half hour, I was freaked out and just wanted someone to be there. It helps to have someone to hold my hand, give me a hug, or a back rub. I'm so glad that I have this boy here, not to mention my amazing friends and roommate. I also know I have friends who are just a phone call away and would listen until I had nothing else to say. So, yeah, I'm going to be okay. I just hate the fact that I can't be there to help take care of my mom. I wish I were at home just so I could spend time with her and help her. All I can really do is call her everyday and continue to work hard at school. That's what she told me to do.
I don't know. I'll try to keep updating. I don't really have much more to say.
Please, if you believe in the power of prayer, pray for my mommy. If you don't, please keep her in your thoughts and mentally send a little love and hope her way.
Her Song - Katie Reider
Let this be her legend.
Let this be her voice.
Let this be her vision
Let this be her choice
To remain as we knew her,
Strong and poised as the one we love.
For we know you chose her
To run the race and stride
But others we just want
To keep her by our sides
Because the fear loss tears at our hearts
When it's close to us
What I would give to take her place
To wash the pain from her face
Cleanse her body free of this
So let this be her legend.
Let this be her voice.
Let this be her vision.
Let this be her choice
To remain as we knew her,
Strong and poised as the one we love.