(no subject)

[inky815]

i'm not dealing with the whole thing with dave very well... i didn't just love him, i fell in love with him. i loved everything about him. i even miss all those little quirks about him. he broke my heart... but i want him back sooo bad. he's still dating the person he did in japan. he had given me hope that he and i could get back together... and i dont' want to give up that hope even though it doesn't look like it will happen... i'm devastated over everything. i can't seem to stop crying. he's all i can think about. i really want the relationship he and i had back. there is no one who can replace him. i miss being his kitten and i miss him being my silly fuzzy boy monkey. his and my relationship was pretty serious... i'm really depressed over this. food just isn't appetizing... i force a few bites, but i really haven't been eating. i hurt every where. and i can't sleep very well. i end up waking up a couple of times and cry.... i dont' want to let him go. he's the cutest thing ever. i would be willing to start over for him....
he and i talk a couple of times. i will try to be his friend... but i just want more... we'll see how things go with everything....
i'm going to see a counselor tomorrow. maybe they can help me a little.