[TST] The Broken Discord (Hijikata → Edgeworth, Roy/Rou)
A random thing that popped into my head, and I managed to get it out before rushing off for my family thing... orz. I have no idea what is this really, other than the fact that I like my emo too much and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL I WRITE AT TIMES. But yes... here you go anyway, for the interested.
the broken discord.
1520 words oneshot.
He comes and goes like a raging fire.
“Making your way out already? It’s only four in the morning, you know.”
Hijikata looked back to scowl at the one seating on the bed, ignoring how that dress shirt draped across those shoulders made the other look almost inviting again. Perhaps even seductive-the boatswain can only wonder if that is deliberate or not because everything that Roy Mustang does almost seems deliberate to his eyes. A means to drag him closer towards where he wanted and hated the most these days, no matter how much he tried to protest it nowadays; it never works, because the fire devours him and claims him whole and all Hijikata can do is to give in and let the fire consume him.
The Flame Alchemist. A fitting name, perhaps, but Hijikata doesn’t want to think about it. The last thing he wanted to think about was his annoying and absolutely irritating twin brother who he hated to the ends of Reial and beyond.
“I need to go and train,” came the curt reply, and Hijikata does his best to ignore how empty those words fall even to his own ears. The samurai turned back, buttoning up the last of his dress shirt and slung his jacket across his shoulder. “I’ve been slacking on it lately.” Because of… because of this, even if he will never admit it. It’s repulsing. It’s disgusting. It’s sickening.
(It’s too good to be true.)
“There’s nothing wrong with lazing around with your brother before the day starts, Toshirou,” the response went from behind him. “You should really try to take it easy.”
All Hijikata did was to snort, sounding completely disbelieving. “I have better things to do.” He wasn’t even supposed to be doing this, to lose himself in this sinful thing always and ever and even allow himself to continue this, but it still happens nevertheless. The boatswain kept on telling himself it’s simply for the sake of his own sexual gratification, but that reason always sound hollow and weak in his ears-an excuse, and nothing more. He’s simply fighting a battle that he cannot win no matter how much he tried. But even then, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to give in, to let himself bend under somebody he will not himself to compromise with. Even if Roy Mustang may be his twin brother… especially when Roy Mustang is his twin brother. It’s wrong on so many levels, but still… why does he even continue on this?
The boatswain pushed those thoughts aside-he doesn’t need to think of them now of all times-and reached for the door, but stopped when he heard Roy’s voice once again, asking the one question he did not want to respond to. “You’re coming over tonight?”
Hijikata stilled, hand on the knob, his glare fixed on it as if he could just make the knob disappear if he glared at it long enough. He wanted to reply with no, of course he wasn’t coming-he shouldn’t even be here in the first place. But time and again he always returned, hollow excuses echoing in his ears and curses at himself and at just how weak he was-how he always lets a few words and his own body betray his mind. But no, not today. He wasn’t going to let it happen today.
Still, the words were hard to speak as always, and all the swordsman could do was to remain silent as he opened the door and exited the room properly.
Hijikata liked to tell himself that it was because of his own lack of experience with such things that caused him to keep on remembering the details, his own lack of gratification being the reason of why his mind replays the memories of those nights again and again in his head until he can’t take it anymore and has to break down and give in once again and allows this vicious cycle to continue. Once he’s better about this-once he is actually used to this and can control himself instead of being some hormone-struck idiot teenager, he won’t need Mustang anymore; he’ll be able to take care of himself without difficulties.
Somehow, those words continue to ring emptily in his ears.
“-kata, are you listening to me?”
The boatswain blinked out from his thoughts at that, mind focusing back to reality as he slowly registered the sight of one not very amused Miles Edgeworth half-glaring at him in disapproval.
“It seems you’ve finally decided to stop daydreaming,” came the sarcastic drawl from the silver-haired man.
“Shut up.” This feels natural-much more natural than anything else in the world. Nothing like what he had to go through with Mustang, Edgeworth was much more tolerable, better and easier to handle himself around without any fear of anything else. Even if he’s discovered that he has been in love with Edgeworth for the last few years and had only realized it some time back when he believed that the other had been dead to the world, leaving with nothing but a note with those five words on them. At least he was better, and he wasn’t Roy Mustang.
Edgeworth gave him the unimpressed look as always, but continued anyway since the boatswain was back in touch with reality. “As I was saying, since we’re docking today I could spare the time for a round of drinks in town. You’ve asked me the other day, didn’t you?”
“Huh?” Oh right, that. He had wanted to go out with Edgeworth one day again, if so only he could partake in the latter’s company and make himself feel a little better and not needing to see Mustang and his bloody annoying face. He had locked himself up in his room for the majority of the day today, which had been good because the alchemist had something or another to be done and so hadn’t dropped by his place at all. Which was good. Very good. Just like he wanted and no, the feeling in his gut was most certainly not disappointment and loneliness. Edgeworth was here, after all.
Edgeworth, the man who he had loved all these years and had never realized it until recently. Nothing like Mustang, the annoying asshole who had all but forced himself into his life and only kept making use of him over and over again without ever asking him at all.
“Hijikata?”
“Ah. I…” the boatswain started, blinking as he fumbled mentally to try and find the correct words. “…I shouldn’t have anything up tonight.”
The silver-haired man looked at him curiously at the strange response, but let it go as always and merely nodded. “I’ll meet you at the docks after dinner.”
“Got it,” Hijikata returned with a nod. This was good; he would spend time with Edgeworth instead, and not need to see that annoying alchemist instead-
You’re coming over tonight?
I’m not at your beck and call, he thought with a scowl as the memory flashed past his mind.
Dinnertime had come, but Hijikata had not left his room even though he had finished his paperwork hours ago. He was on his bed now, sitting down and staring at the wall across his cabin as the silence of the place permeated his thoughts. Chi and Lucied weren’t around-they were most likely out on the ship playing or something-so he couldn’t even distract himself now. He had no mood to read his comics, and the only thing that his mind was interested in were two separate memories running endlessly in his head.
I’ll meet you at the docks after dinner.
You’re coming over tonight?
“…this is stupid,” the boatswain growled to himself, one hand moving to run through his already very messy hair as the words continued to ring. Edgeworth, Edgeworth was more important-he was the man who he had loved all these years even if he had never realized it until now. Edgeworth, the man who had been unconsciously chasing after for all these years and had never really ever gotten close to him; the man who he respected despite everything and had come to see him as something of a friend.
-Mustang, the annoying asshole who had all but wormed into his life and dragged him close against his will; his brother, and idiot who he loathed to the very end and swore would never get close to him but still despite everything he tried and everything he did had never been given up upon, not even once…
Hijikata looked down, both hands now clutched in his hair as he hissed and squeezed his eyes shut. Stupid, this was all entirely stupid. This was all wrong.
(This was all his fault, and nothing more.)
On the network, with a post filtered to Edgeworth were a certain five words:
Busy tonight. Maybe next time.
Roy Mustang perked up from his work when he heard the door knocking a bit after dinnertime, and he smiled when he heard the voice that came from the other side.
“It’s me.”
the broken discord.
1520 words oneshot.
He comes and goes like a raging fire.
“Making your way out already? It’s only four in the morning, you know.”
Hijikata looked back to scowl at the one seating on the bed, ignoring how that dress shirt draped across those shoulders made the other look almost inviting again. Perhaps even seductive-the boatswain can only wonder if that is deliberate or not because everything that Roy Mustang does almost seems deliberate to his eyes. A means to drag him closer towards where he wanted and hated the most these days, no matter how much he tried to protest it nowadays; it never works, because the fire devours him and claims him whole and all Hijikata can do is to give in and let the fire consume him.
The Flame Alchemist. A fitting name, perhaps, but Hijikata doesn’t want to think about it. The last thing he wanted to think about was his annoying and absolutely irritating twin brother who he hated to the ends of Reial and beyond.
“I need to go and train,” came the curt reply, and Hijikata does his best to ignore how empty those words fall even to his own ears. The samurai turned back, buttoning up the last of his dress shirt and slung his jacket across his shoulder. “I’ve been slacking on it lately.” Because of… because of this, even if he will never admit it. It’s repulsing. It’s disgusting. It’s sickening.
(It’s too good to be true.)
“There’s nothing wrong with lazing around with your brother before the day starts, Toshirou,” the response went from behind him. “You should really try to take it easy.”
All Hijikata did was to snort, sounding completely disbelieving. “I have better things to do.” He wasn’t even supposed to be doing this, to lose himself in this sinful thing always and ever and even allow himself to continue this, but it still happens nevertheless. The boatswain kept on telling himself it’s simply for the sake of his own sexual gratification, but that reason always sound hollow and weak in his ears-an excuse, and nothing more. He’s simply fighting a battle that he cannot win no matter how much he tried. But even then, it doesn’t mean that he’s going to give in, to let himself bend under somebody he will not himself to compromise with. Even if Roy Mustang may be his twin brother… especially when Roy Mustang is his twin brother. It’s wrong on so many levels, but still… why does he even continue on this?
The boatswain pushed those thoughts aside-he doesn’t need to think of them now of all times-and reached for the door, but stopped when he heard Roy’s voice once again, asking the one question he did not want to respond to. “You’re coming over tonight?”
Hijikata stilled, hand on the knob, his glare fixed on it as if he could just make the knob disappear if he glared at it long enough. He wanted to reply with no, of course he wasn’t coming-he shouldn’t even be here in the first place. But time and again he always returned, hollow excuses echoing in his ears and curses at himself and at just how weak he was-how he always lets a few words and his own body betray his mind. But no, not today. He wasn’t going to let it happen today.
Still, the words were hard to speak as always, and all the swordsman could do was to remain silent as he opened the door and exited the room properly.
Hijikata liked to tell himself that it was because of his own lack of experience with such things that caused him to keep on remembering the details, his own lack of gratification being the reason of why his mind replays the memories of those nights again and again in his head until he can’t take it anymore and has to break down and give in once again and allows this vicious cycle to continue. Once he’s better about this-once he is actually used to this and can control himself instead of being some hormone-struck idiot teenager, he won’t need Mustang anymore; he’ll be able to take care of himself without difficulties.
Somehow, those words continue to ring emptily in his ears.
“-kata, are you listening to me?”
The boatswain blinked out from his thoughts at that, mind focusing back to reality as he slowly registered the sight of one not very amused Miles Edgeworth half-glaring at him in disapproval.
“It seems you’ve finally decided to stop daydreaming,” came the sarcastic drawl from the silver-haired man.
“Shut up.” This feels natural-much more natural than anything else in the world. Nothing like what he had to go through with Mustang, Edgeworth was much more tolerable, better and easier to handle himself around without any fear of anything else. Even if he’s discovered that he has been in love with Edgeworth for the last few years and had only realized it some time back when he believed that the other had been dead to the world, leaving with nothing but a note with those five words on them. At least he was better, and he wasn’t Roy Mustang.
Edgeworth gave him the unimpressed look as always, but continued anyway since the boatswain was back in touch with reality. “As I was saying, since we’re docking today I could spare the time for a round of drinks in town. You’ve asked me the other day, didn’t you?”
“Huh?” Oh right, that. He had wanted to go out with Edgeworth one day again, if so only he could partake in the latter’s company and make himself feel a little better and not needing to see Mustang and his bloody annoying face. He had locked himself up in his room for the majority of the day today, which had been good because the alchemist had something or another to be done and so hadn’t dropped by his place at all. Which was good. Very good. Just like he wanted and no, the feeling in his gut was most certainly not disappointment and loneliness. Edgeworth was here, after all.
Edgeworth, the man who he had loved all these years and had never realized it until recently. Nothing like Mustang, the annoying asshole who had all but forced himself into his life and only kept making use of him over and over again without ever asking him at all.
“Hijikata?”
“Ah. I…” the boatswain started, blinking as he fumbled mentally to try and find the correct words. “…I shouldn’t have anything up tonight.”
The silver-haired man looked at him curiously at the strange response, but let it go as always and merely nodded. “I’ll meet you at the docks after dinner.”
“Got it,” Hijikata returned with a nod. This was good; he would spend time with Edgeworth instead, and not need to see that annoying alchemist instead-
You’re coming over tonight?
I’m not at your beck and call, he thought with a scowl as the memory flashed past his mind.
Dinnertime had come, but Hijikata had not left his room even though he had finished his paperwork hours ago. He was on his bed now, sitting down and staring at the wall across his cabin as the silence of the place permeated his thoughts. Chi and Lucied weren’t around-they were most likely out on the ship playing or something-so he couldn’t even distract himself now. He had no mood to read his comics, and the only thing that his mind was interested in were two separate memories running endlessly in his head.
I’ll meet you at the docks after dinner.
You’re coming over tonight?
“…this is stupid,” the boatswain growled to himself, one hand moving to run through his already very messy hair as the words continued to ring. Edgeworth, Edgeworth was more important-he was the man who he had loved all these years even if he had never realized it until now. Edgeworth, the man who had been unconsciously chasing after for all these years and had never really ever gotten close to him; the man who he respected despite everything and had come to see him as something of a friend.
-Mustang, the annoying asshole who had all but wormed into his life and dragged him close against his will; his brother, and idiot who he loathed to the very end and swore would never get close to him but still despite everything he tried and everything he did had never been given up upon, not even once…
Hijikata looked down, both hands now clutched in his hair as he hissed and squeezed his eyes shut. Stupid, this was all entirely stupid. This was all wrong.
(This was all his fault, and nothing more.)
On the network, with a post filtered to Edgeworth were a certain five words:
Busy tonight. Maybe next time.
Roy Mustang perked up from his work when he heard the door knocking a bit after dinnertime, and he smiled when he heard the voice that came from the other side.
“It’s me.”