Musing
Recently read an article about muses in design and art and had a realisation:
Being a 'muse' is a certain form of procrastination that I've elevated to an art form.
Investing untold time helping other people developing their projects, ideas and works to the point of perfection I have lost my own goals helping other people chase theirs. I am confirmed as someone who much prefers working in the background over dealing with confused parties on the front line, and rarely get recognition beyond a passing thanks. The recent medal was a real delight because it was completely unexpected and recognized how much effort I put into things behind the scenes. However after a recent incident I no longer think that the people I've helped will ever put that time or effort back into helping me. The consistent outcome has been that for all the hard work and drive someone else gets ahead by being ruthless.
It's time to put my work first and get it out there. I want to make a difference even if it's only a blip of happiness from someone seeing something that I've made. It's egotism but fucked if my life is going to continue the way it is or may as well save 65 years of unfulfilled dreams. I love that Feist line 'The saddest part of a broken heart isn't the ending so much as the start'. Maybe I've always been broken hearted but how do you change your life? Where do you being?
Being a 'muse' is a certain form of procrastination that I've elevated to an art form.
Investing untold time helping other people developing their projects, ideas and works to the point of perfection I have lost my own goals helping other people chase theirs. I am confirmed as someone who much prefers working in the background over dealing with confused parties on the front line, and rarely get recognition beyond a passing thanks. The recent medal was a real delight because it was completely unexpected and recognized how much effort I put into things behind the scenes. However after a recent incident I no longer think that the people I've helped will ever put that time or effort back into helping me. The consistent outcome has been that for all the hard work and drive someone else gets ahead by being ruthless.
It's time to put my work first and get it out there. I want to make a difference even if it's only a blip of happiness from someone seeing something that I've made. It's egotism but fucked if my life is going to continue the way it is or may as well save 65 years of unfulfilled dreams. I love that Feist line 'The saddest part of a broken heart isn't the ending so much as the start'. Maybe I've always been broken hearted but how do you change your life? Where do you being?