i long to spread my wings and fly into the light

[inksmears]

leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back

Comments

[anonymous]

Every time I get hit, I know I deserve it. No amount of therapy has helped me in getting pass the thought that I deserve it, every single time it happens.

[inksmears]

Maybe this is an unanswerable question but why do you feel you deserve it?

[anonymous]

Because I am a horrible, ugly on the inside person. And everyone can see it. Who wouldn't want to hit me?

[inksmears]

idk. does hitting you really change anything? you get hit and go "oh i am a terrible person, i deserve it" but then... you just go on as is?

or maybe you're not a horrible, ugly person. what makes you think you are?

[anonymous]

Its the only thing I've ever been told.

[inksmears]

that's truly god awful. no one should ever tell another person that.

[anonymous]

All I want to do is move on from it. To not feel this way anymore. I just don't know how. I don't want to come off as whiny or looking for pity. I just wish a solution was as simple as taking a few pills and writing it down in a diary every night.

[inksmears]

I think it's really good you want to move on. That's a very important first step. You're not whiny at all. You sound like you really just want help and to get out of your situation and I really respect that.

Do you go to school or work? There are usually resources in both places for stuff like this. A therapist or a psychiatrist can be helpful too though that's assuming you believe in their help. I know a few people who don't. And I know they're damn expensive so. But those are all good resources for truly helping you move past it, I think.