stuff
I get my prescription for testosterone on the 1st and hope to inject on the 2nd. Numerology points to the number 2 as pretty darn good for me.
I have lost a friend because he stole meds from Niki and I. Niki was pissed; I was pissed, sad, felt betrayed, my trust shaken. It was was very difficult to hear Niki file a police report but it got our meds refilled. I am still angry with him and at some point, will write him a letter telling him what he did to my trust, my generosity, my open-door policy, my heart.
Therapy is focusing on me becoming accepting of my genitalia. For so many years I have "ignored" it. Relationships started out hot n heavy but after 6 months or so, the fact I feel it is my birth defect having to be stimulated would get to me and I would shut down...no libido, no interest and it definitely affected my girlfriends. Same went for my chest...no sensitivity, would wear sports bras because if they moved or bounced, it would just remind me they were there. So my chest became off limits as well. How can one have sexual relations when the usual body players have no sensitivity and I have no interest in having them touched?
I go to Salem tomorrow to meet with a state VA rep to help me with my service-connected disability paperwork for my PTSD due to MST (military sexual trauma) and my back. I am really hoping I get 100% rating because it will open a lot of opportunities for me plus get me some decent monthly moolah. I get so damn anxious whenever I think about working which makes working with my voc rehab guy frustrating for both of us.
Have discovered we have Starz on our cable so have watched The Ugly Truth, G-Force, Julie/Julia, and The Proposal. Meryl Streep was AWESOME as Julia Childs, Katherine Hiegl has a classic beauty about her and Gerard Butler is way cool. And how can you go wrong with world-saving guinea pigs!
Sunday did a BBQ with Niki's Mom. Stepdad, sister and brother-in-law. Smoked ribs. I am not a rib person but thought I would give them another try. They were terribly gross. They were smoked with a dry rub. Good thing I took a chicken breast down just in case. Back down to Salem this coming Sunday to celebrate Niki and her Mom's birthdays, 24th and 22nd, respectively. That will make 3 trips to Salem in 8 days. Yippee!
Off to chill before bed. After I make a peanut butter sandwich with....brownies! Oh Yum!!
I have lost a friend because he stole meds from Niki and I. Niki was pissed; I was pissed, sad, felt betrayed, my trust shaken. It was was very difficult to hear Niki file a police report but it got our meds refilled. I am still angry with him and at some point, will write him a letter telling him what he did to my trust, my generosity, my open-door policy, my heart.
Therapy is focusing on me becoming accepting of my genitalia. For so many years I have "ignored" it. Relationships started out hot n heavy but after 6 months or so, the fact I feel it is my birth defect having to be stimulated would get to me and I would shut down...no libido, no interest and it definitely affected my girlfriends. Same went for my chest...no sensitivity, would wear sports bras because if they moved or bounced, it would just remind me they were there. So my chest became off limits as well. How can one have sexual relations when the usual body players have no sensitivity and I have no interest in having them touched?
I go to Salem tomorrow to meet with a state VA rep to help me with my service-connected disability paperwork for my PTSD due to MST (military sexual trauma) and my back. I am really hoping I get 100% rating because it will open a lot of opportunities for me plus get me some decent monthly moolah. I get so damn anxious whenever I think about working which makes working with my voc rehab guy frustrating for both of us.
Have discovered we have Starz on our cable so have watched The Ugly Truth, G-Force, Julie/Julia, and The Proposal. Meryl Streep was AWESOME as Julia Childs, Katherine Hiegl has a classic beauty about her and Gerard Butler is way cool. And how can you go wrong with world-saving guinea pigs!
Sunday did a BBQ with Niki's Mom. Stepdad, sister and brother-in-law. Smoked ribs. I am not a rib person but thought I would give them another try. They were terribly gross. They were smoked with a dry rub. Good thing I took a chicken breast down just in case. Back down to Salem this coming Sunday to celebrate Niki and her Mom's birthdays, 24th and 22nd, respectively. That will make 3 trips to Salem in 8 days. Yippee!
Off to chill before bed. After I make a peanut butter sandwich with....brownies! Oh Yum!!