[KHR] Gokudera Strengthening Program Revisited-"A Killer Smile"
For the time being, I'm still having problems with the HTML formatting. >XP LJ hates me like that.
Trust Reborn to turn something like this into a training exercise of sorts for Tsuna and co.
Disclaimer: Let's try a simple self- brainwashing exercise: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of its characters... and repeat... I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of its characters...
Warning: Dr. Shamal... (I think that's warning enough...)
Note: This is in the past of the TYL adult versions of the characters; Millefiore never existed when they were teenagers. TYL Arc took place after they became adults. These versions of the KHR! characters are the ones who were sent to the past when the current arc characters were switched.
Gokudera Strengthening
Program Revisited
Part 1- "A Killer Smile"
Written: Sunday, June 22, 2008, 10:46:11 AM
Edited: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 10:34:02 PM
STANDBY FOR TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 005
Time: 10:23:04 AM
Location: Namimori High School, Namimori City, Japan
Note: Tenth Generation Vongola Ring Guardians' mandatory 'tagging for' Vongola GPS system "Weather Tracker" to be implemented upon Vongola Tenth Boss, Sawada Tsunayoshi's succession as Family Don.
Archive Summary: Record of Tenth Vongola Guardian of Storm, Gokudera Hayato's GPS fixture procedure and Negotiation for Trident Shamal to participate in the Guardian of Storm's further training (to be conducted by Vongola Hit Man, Arcobaleno Reborn).
Archive File Status: Downloading 89.28364223 percent complete...
BEGIN TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 005
Tsuna bit his lip and cast his friend at the classroom door a nervous look from his seat.
Meanwhile, the teacher continued writing the lesson on the blackboard.
Gokudera- kun, it seemed, was being called out of class again for what might be another disciplinary case... Probably about fighting on school grounds or something else he was usually guilty of... or at least often accused of. Some members of the school faculty must have some kind of collective grudge against Gokudera- kun...
Sure, Gokudera- kun was one of the smartest students in their year level (most likely to get into the top rankings of their year again) but that didn't stop him from causing chaos (intentional or otherwise) and getting into trouble with the school authorities (or every authority).
Tsuna had wondered once if Gokudera- kun was just really (unfortunately) a natural for attracting the displeasure of any and every authority figure... Just as he was a magnet for attracting trouble (...and... girls...) everywhere he went.
This year is their sophomore year of high school and Tsuna had wound up classmates again with his two friends and Guardians. (Best of all he was classmates again with Kyoko- chan! Aaah... sweet and innocent Kyoko- chan... his pure and beautiful angel... his light and sunshine, the- ACK! Stop it, you Dame- Tsuna! He scolded himself. Your friend is still in trouble over there! Show some sympathy! Wait a second, that expression you're making right now is uneasiness, not sympathy... Oh, what the Hell... just watch that he doesn't make Hell in the classroom for now...).
The new school year had only just started a couple of days ago but here was Gokudera- kun being called out by a teacher again.
Tsuna thought that this had to be a new record for Gokudera- kun (even though he technically hadn't done anything (yet)... or at least as far as Tsuna knew).
But whatever reason Gokudera- kun was getting called out of class for... It was no doubt going to end in tears... On the part of the unfortunate faculty member foolish or ignorant enough to pick on either him or Gokudera- kun (or both of them... occasionally, Yamamoto would be lumped in with them for bad grades) again this week.
Tsuna found himself wondering how many more new teachers they would be going through this year.
Instead of getting himself kicked out of school, Gokudera- kun always seems to manage to have at least one or two of their teachers sacked or quitting for some reason or another every single school year.
...Oh, well... Those teachers were frauds anyway...
Tsuna leaned forward from his desk a little to see which of their teachers had dared to try and pick on Gokudera- kun this week.
He didn't see anyone.
Tsuna frowned and followed with his eyes to see who Gokudera- kun was looking at.
Or down at (and apparently talking to).
He froze up when he saw his Arcobaleno home tutor, Reborn, at the door of their classroom... Dressed in his "Reboyama- sensei" get- up again. [1]
'Oh, good God and Buddha... NOT AGAIN!' Tsuna thought in dismay.
Whatever was going on; Tsuna knew that this was not going to be any good for his health and sanity later... and possibly be a potential cause for damage of school property...
Hold up a minute, this is Reborn and Gokudera- kun he's talking about; it IS going to cause school property damage.
Tsuna glanced at the teacher still writing on the blackboard and hoped it wasn't going to be a graded recitation today. (Every single deity Tsuna's ever heard about in his entire life knows he didn't have the slightest clue what the lesson was about... He wasn't able to study at all last night thanks to a fiasco involving a certain little cow- brat, his 'tutor', I- Pin's Pinzu Time Bomb and a piece of broccoli... Yes, just ONE measly piece of broccoli; what the Hell?)
...Anyway, back to Gokudera- kun...
He looked like he was refusing to do whatever Reborn was telling him to do... most likely in favor of staying in class (where the "Boss/Tenth" is... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE keep your cool and just STAY in class, Gokudera- kun, Tsuna begged him mentally. Don't follow whatever Reborn tells you... At least that way we stay out of trouble and we can all still come out somewhat OK).
Meanwhile, Yamamoto yawned sleepily in the seat behind him.
Tsuna envied him for being able to sleep in class but still able to give the correct answers (through a combination of pure luck and what little bit of info Yamamoto had been able to cram between baseball practices and kendo training for his Shigure Souen Ryu).
He also suspected that Gokudera- kun would also be able to get away with sleeping in class... If he wanted to, anyway... The teachers were afraid of him; always treating him like a bomb (pun intended) that could go off... and... well, most of the time, he already knew the lesson; sometimes he actually knew more than what the teacher did...
...Sigh, how Tsuna envied his two friends...
In any case, Gokudera- kun seemed to be holding his ground well.
But apparently (no, correction, it's not 'apparently'... it's 'DEFINITELY'), Reborn was not one to give up either. Tsuna saw Reborn smirk (and he could feel shivers of fear running up his spine) and heard him raise his voice to get the attention of their science teacher.
"Sensei, I'll need to excuse Gokudera for the rest of the day." Reborn or "Reboyama" told the teacher currently inside the classroom. "He's ill and he needs to go to the school clinic." As he said this, Reborn's large black eyes had glinted maliciously (not a good sign, Tsuna knew).
"What?! Wait a minute, I'm not-" Gokudera- kun began to protest, but Reborn had jumped up and executed a (painfully) sharp chop to Gokudera- kun's neck.
"GWAAAGH!!"
Tsuna cringed as he watched...OK, maybe he didn't envy Gokudera- kun so much at the moment... His Italian- Japanese friend crumpled to the floor unconscious with Reborn landing squarely on the small of his back.
Out of worry (and by now a reflex), Tsuna immediately stood up and rushed over with (a fully awake) Yamamoto right behind him.
"Sawada- kun, Yamamoto- kun, why don't you help Reboyama- sensei bring Gokudera- kun to the school clinic?" Their science teacher (a relatively new teacher and thus unaware of the weirder things regarding Tsuna's friends) suggested, seeing as they had both stood up to see if Gokudera- kun was alright (alive).
Both boys didn't need telling twice. They already knew "Reboyama- sensei's"(Reborn's) routine: They quickly picked up the unconscious Gokudera- kun from the floor and hightailed out of the classroom as fast as they could while following Reborn's lead.
Once they were out of the hearing range of the remaining occupants of the classroom:
"Reborn! What the Hell is this about NOW?!" Tsuna demanded of the intrepid Arcobaleno tutor.
"I've been thinking for a while and I've decided: as he is right now, Gokudera is not competent enough to be your Right hand." Reborn answered, looking very devious despite his unchanging facial expression... Tsuna wondered how he was still able to make him quake in his shoes without even moving a muscle... No, wait a minute... He shouldn't be wondering about that anymore: this is REBORN he's talking about...
"Wait a minute! What are you going to do to him!? You're not going to kill him, right?!" Tsuna protested and stopped walking without warning.
Yamamoto (who while walking had been looking curiously outside the windows at a fluffy little yellow bird singing their former middle school's Alma Mater song) bumped into him by accident, squishing Gokudera- kun between them and sending all three of them toppling over into a heap on the corridor floor.
"OWOWOWOW!! You guys are heavy! Get off of me!!" Tsuna yelped in pain from underneath Yamamoto and Gokudera- kun's combined weight (both of them had grown considerably taller over the summer and were thus a lot heavier now; Gokudera- kun seemed to be able to carry even more dynamite, now that he was bigger... But it unfortunately made the weight on top of Tsuna much heavier).
"Ahahahahaha! Sorry!" Yamamoto laughed sheepishly from where he had landed on top of the heap (Gokudera- kun's midsection). He picked himself up and bodily hauled Gokudera- kun (who had groaned but was still unconscious) off Tsuna's back. Reborn only smirked and waited for them to get Gokudera- kun into a more secure position for carrying.
"Stupid Tsuna; whether Gokudera dies or lives will depend on how well he perfects the skills he will gain from the training I will be requiring him to undergo later." Reborn said smilingly. "If he fails to perfect them, he will die. It may be not now but maybe sometime in the near future. The mortality rate of a Mafioso who has very little and or poor skills in certain areas is not exactly a pleasant figure, you know." (Tsuna wondered about his OWN mortality rate given his own poverty in whatever skills Reborn had deemed 'necessary for survival' in the mafia world).
Reborn then stopped at the door to the school infirmary and waited for them to get closer.
"What skills is he supposed to be learning?" Tsuna demanded when they stopped in front of the door as well, hoping it wasn't something as stupid and as ridiculously embarrassing as the "Zettai Maken" [2] (which Kyoko and Haru had perfected in middle school but he himself could never get the hang of).
Yamamoto, while he didn't quite get what was going on, wisely chose to be silent and looked politely puzzled between them.
"Not 'learn', Dame- Tsuna." Reborn smirked. "We're going to brainwash him. That way, it'll stay with him longer because eventually he'll learn integrate it into his personality. It may even become a second nature if his training is successful."
Tsuna gaped at this statement and an image of the unconscious Gokudera- kun being strapped down to a device that looked like an electric chair and made to wear a funny looking helmet with weird wires sticking on it popped into his mind. His imagination went a little further and created an image of a robot- like, homicidal- dynamite dispensing machine Gokudera- kun as the end result of some sadistic form of an electrocution process.
The thought wasn't exactly appealing.
He would rather keep Gokudera- kun as he is (overenthusiastically devoted/crazy- weird but with good intentions) than have a robotic stranger in his place. (Tsuna knew his imagination was running wild at this point, but knowing Reborn, it might just be what he was thinking... or worse...)
"No way! I won't allow this!" Tsuna blurted out. He tried to make himself look furious in a vain attempt to deter Reborn from brainwashing his friend... and consequently altering his personality drastically (not that it wasn't drastic already in the first place).
Reborn let Leon crawl into his hand and had him transform into a very familiar green pistol.
"You're not fully in charge yet so you can't fully make the decisions and order me around, Dame- Tsuna." Reborn's eyes gleamed imperiously as he cocked the gun (Leon) and pointed it at Tsuna. "As your tutor, it is my responsibility that you gain the edge as a future mafia boss, and that includes making your subordinates gain the skills of the top- class and elite. But if you're going to get in the way of that, I might have to do something about you then."
Tsuna shrank away in panic and quickly (and wisely) decided to comply... however he was also willing to press for his friend's safety. Yamamoto sensed the killing intent emanating from the Arcobaleno and gulped. He still thought the entire thing was a "mafia role- playing game" but he could already sense by now whether there was a real threat or not.
"Tsuna, j- just let it go. Sensei is serious..." He hissed from behind Tsuna.
Tsuna wanted to slap his forehead: Yamamoto was still easily fooled by Reborn's ridiculously obvious disguises... despite the fact that they had already known each other for... what? Nearly three years?
But Tsuna decided to take Yamamoto's word for it and back down... Yamamoto knew a big "killing intent" when he saw and felt one.
"Saa, let's go. We have a very busy schedule planned for Gokudera. But before he can start the new training, he has something that needs to get taken care of first." Reborn smirked again and slid the door to the high school's clinic open.
Tsuna and Yamamoto exchanged confused and nervous looks between themselves and followed the Arcobaleno tutor, unwillingly carrying his soon- to- be victim to his impending doom.
"What took you so long? I've got better things to do, you know."
Tsuna gaped and stared. "Doctor Shamal!?"
The said 'doctor' yawned and frowned rather disappointedly when he saw them.
"Oh, you two again... Damn, I was hoping that it might be some cute senior year girls. Ah, well..." He then took Gokudera- kun from them and dragged him inside to dump him into a bed. "Don't worry; we'll take good care of Hayato. You two just go on back to class." Shamal said and made a shooing motion with his hands.
When they didn't budge from their place near the door, he sighed and pushed them forcefully out of the school infirmary and shut the door.
Then he turned to frown at his former pupil whom he had just unceremoniously dumped into the bed. "Geeze... This brat again? I could be examining an entire population of cute high school girls but I'm stuck with this hard- head dead weight again?" He complained mostly to himself. Reborn only smirked.
Tsuna and Yamamoto stared at the closed door of the infirmary incredulously.
What could Reborn possibly need Dr. Shamal for with Gokudera- kun (Sure, he was Gokudera- kun's former tutor but Gokudera- kun refused to be further taught by Shamal; he had by now been trying to get Gokudera- kun to "expand his social circle" (...Try putting that in Shamal's context).
Both boys looked at each other, a bit worried, and decided to hang around and try to eavesdrop outside the clinic.
They both crouched near the door and tried to listen though the crack between the door and the wall (but it seemed that Reborn had somehow partially soundproofed the room and the door, although exactly how he had managed that Tsuna would never figure out).
After a while, they could hear Gokudera- kun's's voice... It seemed like he was furious about something.
Later they heard the sounds of struggle.
Then they both jumped when they heard Gokudera- kun yelling as if his life was in danger (... which he most probably is... OK, so maybe the soundproofing only worked for the normal speaking volumes).
That did it: Tsuna began to assume the worst possible case scenarios. Each one looked increasingly more disturbing than the one that came before it.
"Hiiieee!! What's going on? What's happening in there?!" Tsuna rambled with panic and worry. "Oh no, Gokudera- kun! What are they doing to him?! What are we going to do?! What are we going to do?! Yamamoto, we have to save him!!"
But what was really happening inside the infirmary began like this though:
"...if Gokudera succeeds, he can be our living legacy. We don't want the greatest skills of the best hit men to die out in Tsuna's generation, now do we?" Reborn wheedled a final bit of persuasion to get Shamal to agree in co- tutoring his former student with him. By this time he had already changed into his regular outfit and was donning his fedora again.
"Hmm... It might hurt my reputation, but if the way for an apprentice to succeed is to surpass his own master, then I guess there's no choice. Our generation isn't getting any younger after all." Shamal scratched the back of his neck lazily, casting a look at the unconscious teenager.
That sealed the deal: for the sake of Vongola's and Tsuna's future, they would help in shaping Hayato's own.
"I'm glad we're in an agreement then. I'll make sure this 'investment' while be worth your time." Reborn announced, smirking in triumph. "We'll begin his training later today."
"This'll be amusing..." Shamal smirked, as he looked at the teenage boy still unconscious in bed. "It'll be interesting to see how he'll handle learning to be a real man." He then chuckled.
"But first we need to get something taken care of." Reborn spoke again, this time referring to a completely different matter. "You read his file from his middle school years and his freshman year already, didn't you?" He then said seriously from his perch on the nurse's desk.
Shamal frowned, recounting everything he had read on his former pupil's file from the two school clinics.
The very thing that they required of Hayato could not be found and gave both of them quite a bit of a problem.
Just then, the boy they'd been talking about finally came to. He groaned, rubbed his neck where he'd been hit earlier and looked around the clinic.
Seeing that he was finally awake, the hit man doctor then immediately dragged the sixteen year- old out of bed and forced him into a chair: a dental chair to be exact... He even tied him down with some rope... actually... a 'little too much' rope... (Hayato could remind anybody of what a spider's next meal looks like...)
"Hey-! What the hell-?!" Hayato shouted in surprise and confusion. He glared then at Shamal for explanation to why he was here in the first place. "What the fuck IS this?! What the Hell am I doing here?!"
"We've been waiting for a long time for the school dentist to report if you had any cavities. Frankly, I'm disappointed in you, Hayato." Shamal sighed. "The school dentist is really a looker. I don't see why you don't want to let her take care of you-"
Hayato glared bloody murder at his former tutor. At this age, sixteen- going- on- seventeen years old, he had a very good idea what Shamal meant by 'take care'.
"Is that why I'm tied up here?!" He demanded. "That I don't have any cavities? What kind of screwed, fucked up problem is that?!"
Reborn- san then hopped into his lap and pulled his school uniform's necktie to bring his head closer to his. "Yes. You don't have any cavities. Not even ones from childhood. While very impressive at your age, it gives us some problems with what we have to have to done with you." Reborn- san said seriously.
"Huh!?" Hayato stared; still confused at why not having a cavity was a problem.
Since he had had several unfortunate experiences with Poison Cooking as a child, he had developed a consistent routine of brushing his teeth very thoroughly to get rid of whatever bits of Poison Cooking food out of his mouth (once he recovered his consciousness, that is). [3]
This habit persisted even while he was wandering around all over Italy, looking for a mafia family to join, and didn't see his sister for a long time up until he joined the Vongola mafia.
Not having any cavities was one end result of that obsessive habit. (Another was the absences of yellowing on the enamel surfaces of his teeth characteristic to regular smokers.)
"This was supposed to be placed on you sometime after you joined Tsuna's Family." Reborn- san held up a small tube of... something gray- white?
"What's that?" Hayato looked at the tube apprehensively.
"It looks like a filling for cavities used by dentists but it's actually an organic compound that is made to be traceable by a special type of GPS designed for Vongola's use only." Shamal explained. [4]
"Yamamoto's going to get his next weekend. He has a dental appointment scheduled, so it's not a problem. Ryohei's replacement teeth are made of the solidified and reinforced form of this compound as well." Reborn- san explained this time. "Lambo, as soon as he gets all of his adult teeth, will be getting it too. We're still trying to figure out how to get this on Hibari and Chrome though. Mukuro is out of the question since as his real body is still imprisoned and he constantly switches from one vessel to another."
"But why in cavities?" Hayato asked incredulously, his lower right eyelid twitching as he said this. His question went unanswered however.
"Anyway, this cannot be delayed any longer since the Vongola is going to upgrade their database soon." Shamal held up a dental drill. "I'm going to have to make a small hole in one of your third molars so you can get the special GPS chemical compound on you."
Hayato looked dubiously at the dental instrument in Shamal's hands.
...In Shamal's hands.
DENTAL.
DRILL.
In.
SHAMAL'S.
Hands.
Shamal is a good doctor (he had to admit that unwillingly), but there was absolutely no fucking way that he could be a good dentist: being a doctor doesn't equate one to be a dentist...
Hayato immediately remembered the last time he asked Shamal for anything to do with his teeth: he had a loose baby tooth when he was five years old. He had tried everything he could think of to get it to come out. When he couldn't succeed, he had asked Shamal to pull it out for him.
His loose baby tooth was on the left- hand side... Shamal had pulled out the one RIGHT BESIDE IT. (He had tried to apologize by giving Hayato a lollipop... which ended up in Shamal's left nostril. Thankfully that tooth was replaced by the adult one soon after and Hayato grew up with perfectly sized and straight- aligned adult teeth.)
But THAT did it.
Hayato is NOT willing to trust his dental care to Dr. Shamal EVER again...
"GET THE FUCKING HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING PERVERT- QUACK!!" He yelled loudly, furiously trying to wriggle out of the dental chair and ropes.
"It won't hurt; not if you move too much. I'll even give you a lollipop again after this. Didn't you used to like those when you were little?" Shamal teased and started the dental drill.
...!
"Open wide, Hayato,"
"!!"
Outside the infirmary, at the same time Reborn had been trying to convince Shamal to invest his time into "bettering Tsuna's future by shaping Gokudera's"; Yamamoto had tried to calm Tsuna down.
"Tsuna, wait- we can't just rush in there- He told us to go back to class, remember? We'll be in trouble with the teacher if-"
"What are you two doing outside of class, Tsuna?" Tsuna and Yamamoto both suddenly looked up to see Bianchi standing over them.
"Bianchi! What are you doing here?" Tsuna gaped, staring apprehensively at the bento box (with purple and green- colored smoke coming out of it for obvious reasons) she was carrying with her.
"I wanted to give Reborn this bento I made for his lunch." Bianchi gushed, blushing as she thought of the Arcobaleno hit man.
Tsuna and Yamamoto both suppressed shudders when the looked at the (still smoking) bento.
All of a sudden Tsuna had an idea: if he went in to try and 'rescue' Gokudera- kun himself, Reborn would no doubt give him pain ten times worse during his after- school tutoring later.
...But if it was BIANCHI who went in...
"Gokudera- kun is in there, in bed; Dr. Shamal is doing definitely something horrible to him inside," He told her quickly (at least the bed was the last place where he saw Gokudera- kun). "He locked the door so we can't go in to rescue him." He finished, conveniently leaving Reborn out of the story.
Predictably, Bianchi grew furious at the mention of her brother's name with the phrases 'in bed' and 'Shamal is doing definitely something horrible to him,' and completely misinterpreted everything as usual.
As if to further add fuel to the fire... the next thing they heard from behind the ("almost soundproof") infirmary door made it all the more convincing for Bianchi: "SHAMAL, I SWEAR IF YOU EVEN SO MUCH AS THINK OF STICKING YOUR FUCKING THING IN MY MOUTH, I'LL- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! STOP!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!"
The hairs on the back of Tsuna and Yamamoto's necks stood up as they listened to the commotion inside the school clinic.
"Go back to class, you two. I will take care of getting Hayato back." Bianchi declared acidly, a shadow cast over her eyes. Then she pulled out one of her infamous Poison Cooking tools: Melting Sticky Sakura Rice. Tsuna backed away along with Yamamoto and they both watched her melt the lock easily with it.
Since Bianchi was about to open the door and Tsuna didn't want to get into trouble with Reborn (but still had a dreaded feeling that he was going to be anyway), he pulled on Yamamoto's sleeve to indicate that they return to the classroom and get out of harm's way before she began her rampage.
As they made their way back to their classroom, Tsuna made a silent apology to Gokudera- kun in his mind for what had to happen to save him. (He had half a mind to ask Yamamoto to join him in a short prayer for Gokudera- kun... May God and Buddha... and especially Reborn... have mercy on his damned, unfortunate soul...)
He knew that Gokudera- kun still got painful stomachaches whenever he saw Bianchi's face.
But, Tsuna reasoned, it was better than being brainwashed by Reborn and Shamal.
If he wanted to avoid horrible consequences, he would have to pick the lesser evil.
... It was part of the Vongola mafia boss' job to make the best possible decisions after all... even if they were still highly unpleasant...
Oh, good Buddha, he was starting to think like a mafia boss!
Tsuna definitely did NOT want to go there: 'Think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... Aaahhh... Kyoko- chan...'
The infirmary door violently slid open and Bianchi rushed in, eyes blazing furiously, and the bento box meant for Reborn still smoking.
"HAYATO!" She shrieked as she ran in to 'rescue' him, slamming a strawberry cake (which she seemed to have pulled out of nowhere) into Shamal's face, forcing him to drop the dental drill and fall over backwards.
Unfortunately, Hayato had seen her face. He immediately started to spasm violently, frothed at the mouth and his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
"Hayato! He didn't do anything to you, did he!?" Bianchi asked him urgently as she melted the ropes with several pieces of sashimi.
She then shook her brother as if it would make the answers tumble out of his mouth.
Instead of answering her question, he only continued convulsing, shuddering while muttering some incoherent speech ("Gwwooo weehhhyy...").
Bianchi didn't seem to notice how sicker she was making him and went on ranting as she inspected Hayato's clothes: they were in obvious disarray.
His school shirt was unbuttoned (Hayato still refused to wear his uniform the proper way), his uniform necktie was hung in such a way that looked like it had been pulled on forcefully (Reborn's fault earlier), and his undershirt was badly rumpled and almost yanked out of his pants where it had been tucked in earlier (but Bianchi didn't think that it was from her clutching at his clothes while shaking him).
She thought that it was because he had been handled by force and against his will by someone else (Shamal) before she arrived.
Bianchi could feel him trembling badly in her grasp and attributed it to a trauma of another kind...: [5]
"Did HE touch you, Hayato?! Tell me, where did he touch you?! I'll kill him if he touched you inappropriately! That FILTHY man! Now he's included poor innocent young boys into his range as well?!" She shrieked hysterically. "Hayato, how long has he been doing THIS to you? Ever since you were a child?!"
Her continual shaking of Hayato's limp body made his head bobble up and down; making it almost appear as if he were nodding rigorously to confirm her unfounded and outlandish theory.
For Bianchi, that was good enough to start hunting for blood.
...A certain 'filthy man's' blood... She rounded on him, eyes glaring murderously and promising retribution for her "poor innocent little brother"...
Shamal's jaw had dropped open at the accusations. (He had blocked the deadly strawberry cake to his face with another one of his protective cloth shields.)
"Bianchi- chun, [6] how could you say such a thing! I'm only interested in the fairer sex, I swear!" Shamal tried to save whatever was left of his image. "Here, let me kiss you to prove that I'm still loyal to you!"
He moved closer to her, puckering up his lips as he did so.
"SHUT UP!" Bianchi snapped and threw the smoking bento she had brought for Reborn at Shamal's unguarded face. "YOU'RE DISGUSTING!"
"It seems we've forgotten to obtain Bianchi's consent before having anything done to Gokudera. She might have objections to having her brother's teeth tampered with in the future thanks to this." Reborn said to Leon from under the pillow they were hiding under while Bianchi continued to attempt to murder Shamal. "She IS his legal guardian while he's still a minor after all."
So for the meantime, Gokudera's teeth (and 'innocence', according to Reborn) were safe from Dr. Shamal... thanks to his sister's cooking...
Later that day, after Tsuna learned about what really happened inside the infirmary from Gokudera, he protested to Reborn and told him he was against his friends being 'tagged'.
Reborn had then dared him to give a valid explanation for his disapproval of the Vongola's GPS project "Weather Tracker" at gun(Leon)point.
Tsuna then gave a 'What if the Vongola's database got hacked?' The enemies could very easily pinpoint all of his friends' exact locations and probably hit them with missiles and whatnot. (Well, he was already rambling at this point; he had been thinking of all the impossible and outlandish scenarios that the mafia world always seemed to spring on him since he and Yamamoto had been sent out of the high school infirmary.)
Reborn then smirked and 'praised' (kicked) him for using his 'foresight'; a mafia boss should have excellent foresight in order to prepare for the future.
He went on to say that Tsuna had passed the exercise for the day; a little more practice and he would be able to hone his Hyper Intuition into a second nature, even when he wasn't in his Dying Will Mode.
Tsuna grew even more horrified at this and protested all the more that he DIDN'T want to become a mafia boss.
Thus in the end, Gokudera- kun never got any of the GPS tracers in his teeth... Actually... None of Tsuna's Guardians (save for Oniisan) did. [7]
A week later, Oniisan's false teeth were 'replaced' with a different solidified form of another chemical compound: the glow- in- the- dark kind.
"To match his position as the 'Sun'," Reborn had smirked after he told Tsuna about the new developments and the scrapping of the Vongola's GPS project "Weather Tracker".
Meanwhile, Gokudera- kun fell off Tsuna's bed and nearly killed himself laughing...
It was after Yamamoto had switched off the lights in Tsuna's room (so they could watch some movie he'd picked up about a demon- possessed girl [8] in the dark) while Oniisan was proudly grinning widely to show off his EXTREMELY new, pearly whites.
Tsuna deadpanned, staring at Oniisan's mouth, and told his tutor they reminded him more of the 'moon' than the 'sun'.
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A/N: Killer smile indeed... I'd kill myself laughing too...! By now, I think we all know that a 'medical' profession and a 'dental' profession are two very different things... One does not equate the other.
Hmm... good thing that GPS tooth project was never implemented. Imagine how much more Hell it would have been if the Millefiore had gotten a hold of that GPS system. How much easier it would have been to track down the adult Guardians. Boss Tsuna has incredible foresight! (... Or is it just really a result of a wild imagination...?)
-snerk- Well, this was a really crack- crazy one- shot (and the longest one to boot)... But I seemed to have gotten off track from my original idea for the one- shot... (Namely Reborn's new special training regimen to make Gokudera one of the top class hit men in preparation for Tsuna's future... XP).
[1] Reboyama: One of Reborn's cosplay personas... he dresses up like the generic Japanese teacher... with Yamamoto's hair... (Reborn + Yama's hair... so... Reboyama...) I thought it was by far his most "normal- looking" disguise.
[2] Zettai Maken: You know... Zettai Maken...? It was in the anime; one of those corny fillers. It was incredibly stupid and a good waste of time to watch. Kyoko and Haru mastered that useless skill though...
[3] Smoking & Brushing: Well, this sort of answers why Gokudera's teeth are still white despite his smoking habit... But even that's not going to completely prevent any future adverse effects on his health... I'm pretty convinced there's going to be something physically/ genetically/ mentally/ psychologically wrong with his kids (if he'll ever have any... assuming he doesn't have ED or sperm abnormality when he gets older...)
[4] Organic GPS Compound: There is no such thing. LOL. I just made it up. KHR! always has the most fantastical science fiction inventions and methods (Ten Year Bazooka, box weapons, concealment of impossibly large quantities of dynamite on a human body...) Eh, who knows? I'm no chemistry genius but maybe someday there will be an organic chemical compound that can be used as dental fillings in place of GPS dots for tagging.
[5] A Different Kind of Trauma: What Bianchi thinks: Dirty old man (Shamal) and poor innocent little boy (Hayato)... equals... Use your imagination and make sure it's an outlandish one... Yeah, you probably got it now... That's probably what Bianchi had in mind...
[6] '- chun': Combination of 'chuu' (Japanese sound effect for a kiss) and '- chan' honorific. Shamal's always using it with Bianchi's name.
[7] Ryohei's EXTREMELY New Pearly Whites: In the manga (during the Kokuyo Arc), Ryohei got four of his teeth pulled out to mark him as number four of Namimori's strongest fighter. Gokudera would have had three pulled out if he hadn't beaten Chikusa first. Yamamoto should have lost two if they got to him... and Hibari... would have lost one? (Is he the number one? Yeah, I think he was the one with that rank.) Hahaha... What was I thinking...? ...Glow- in- the- dark teeth... LOL XD
[8] Demon- possessed girl: Emily Rose of"The Exorcism of Emily Rose". Seen this movie yet?
Trust Reborn to turn something like this into a training exercise of sorts for Tsuna and co.
Disclaimer: Let's try a simple self- brainwashing exercise: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of its characters... and repeat... I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of its characters...
Warning: Dr. Shamal... (I think that's warning enough...)
Note: This is in the past of the TYL adult versions of the characters; Millefiore never existed when they were teenagers. TYL Arc took place after they became adults. These versions of the KHR! characters are the ones who were sent to the past when the current arc characters were switched.
Gokudera Strengthening
Program Revisited
Part 1- "A Killer Smile"
Written: Sunday, June 22, 2008, 10:46:11 AM
Edited: Wednesday, July 16, 2008, 10:34:02 PM
STANDBY FOR TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 005
Time: 10:23:04 AM
Location: Namimori High School, Namimori City, Japan
Note: Tenth Generation Vongola Ring Guardians' mandatory 'tagging for' Vongola GPS system "Weather Tracker" to be implemented upon Vongola Tenth Boss, Sawada Tsunayoshi's succession as Family Don.
Archive Summary: Record of Tenth Vongola Guardian of Storm, Gokudera Hayato's GPS fixture procedure and Negotiation for Trident Shamal to participate in the Guardian of Storm's further training (to be conducted by Vongola Hit Man, Arcobaleno Reborn).
Archive File Status: Downloading 89.28364223 percent complete...
BEGIN TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 005
Tsuna bit his lip and cast his friend at the classroom door a nervous look from his seat.
Meanwhile, the teacher continued writing the lesson on the blackboard.
Gokudera- kun, it seemed, was being called out of class again for what might be another disciplinary case... Probably about fighting on school grounds or something else he was usually guilty of... or at least often accused of. Some members of the school faculty must have some kind of collective grudge against Gokudera- kun...
Sure, Gokudera- kun was one of the smartest students in their year level (most likely to get into the top rankings of their year again) but that didn't stop him from causing chaos (intentional or otherwise) and getting into trouble with the school authorities (or every authority).
Tsuna had wondered once if Gokudera- kun was just really (unfortunately) a natural for attracting the displeasure of any and every authority figure... Just as he was a magnet for attracting trouble (...and... girls...) everywhere he went.
This year is their sophomore year of high school and Tsuna had wound up classmates again with his two friends and Guardians. (Best of all he was classmates again with Kyoko- chan! Aaah... sweet and innocent Kyoko- chan... his pure and beautiful angel... his light and sunshine, the- ACK! Stop it, you Dame- Tsuna! He scolded himself. Your friend is still in trouble over there! Show some sympathy! Wait a second, that expression you're making right now is uneasiness, not sympathy... Oh, what the Hell... just watch that he doesn't make Hell in the classroom for now...).
The new school year had only just started a couple of days ago but here was Gokudera- kun being called out by a teacher again.
Tsuna thought that this had to be a new record for Gokudera- kun (even though he technically hadn't done anything (yet)... or at least as far as Tsuna knew).
But whatever reason Gokudera- kun was getting called out of class for... It was no doubt going to end in tears... On the part of the unfortunate faculty member foolish or ignorant enough to pick on either him or Gokudera- kun (or both of them... occasionally, Yamamoto would be lumped in with them for bad grades) again this week.
Tsuna found himself wondering how many more new teachers they would be going through this year.
Instead of getting himself kicked out of school, Gokudera- kun always seems to manage to have at least one or two of their teachers sacked or quitting for some reason or another every single school year.
...Oh, well... Those teachers were frauds anyway...
Tsuna leaned forward from his desk a little to see which of their teachers had dared to try and pick on Gokudera- kun this week.
He didn't see anyone.
Tsuna frowned and followed with his eyes to see who Gokudera- kun was looking at.
Or down at (and apparently talking to).
He froze up when he saw his Arcobaleno home tutor, Reborn, at the door of their classroom... Dressed in his "Reboyama- sensei" get- up again. [1]
'Oh, good God and Buddha... NOT AGAIN!' Tsuna thought in dismay.
Whatever was going on; Tsuna knew that this was not going to be any good for his health and sanity later... and possibly be a potential cause for damage of school property...
Hold up a minute, this is Reborn and Gokudera- kun he's talking about; it IS going to cause school property damage.
Tsuna glanced at the teacher still writing on the blackboard and hoped it wasn't going to be a graded recitation today. (Every single deity Tsuna's ever heard about in his entire life knows he didn't have the slightest clue what the lesson was about... He wasn't able to study at all last night thanks to a fiasco involving a certain little cow- brat, his 'tutor', I- Pin's Pinzu Time Bomb and a piece of broccoli... Yes, just ONE measly piece of broccoli; what the Hell?)
...Anyway, back to Gokudera- kun...
He looked like he was refusing to do whatever Reborn was telling him to do... most likely in favor of staying in class (where the "Boss/Tenth" is... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE keep your cool and just STAY in class, Gokudera- kun, Tsuna begged him mentally. Don't follow whatever Reborn tells you... At least that way we stay out of trouble and we can all still come out somewhat OK).
Meanwhile, Yamamoto yawned sleepily in the seat behind him.
Tsuna envied him for being able to sleep in class but still able to give the correct answers (through a combination of pure luck and what little bit of info Yamamoto had been able to cram between baseball practices and kendo training for his Shigure Souen Ryu).
He also suspected that Gokudera- kun would also be able to get away with sleeping in class... If he wanted to, anyway... The teachers were afraid of him; always treating him like a bomb (pun intended) that could go off... and... well, most of the time, he already knew the lesson; sometimes he actually knew more than what the teacher did...
...Sigh, how Tsuna envied his two friends...
In any case, Gokudera- kun seemed to be holding his ground well.
But apparently (no, correction, it's not 'apparently'... it's 'DEFINITELY'), Reborn was not one to give up either. Tsuna saw Reborn smirk (and he could feel shivers of fear running up his spine) and heard him raise his voice to get the attention of their science teacher.
"Sensei, I'll need to excuse Gokudera for the rest of the day." Reborn or "Reboyama" told the teacher currently inside the classroom. "He's ill and he needs to go to the school clinic." As he said this, Reborn's large black eyes had glinted maliciously (not a good sign, Tsuna knew).
"What?! Wait a minute, I'm not-" Gokudera- kun began to protest, but Reborn had jumped up and executed a (painfully) sharp chop to Gokudera- kun's neck.
"GWAAAGH!!"
Tsuna cringed as he watched...OK, maybe he didn't envy Gokudera- kun so much at the moment... His Italian- Japanese friend crumpled to the floor unconscious with Reborn landing squarely on the small of his back.
Out of worry (and by now a reflex), Tsuna immediately stood up and rushed over with (a fully awake) Yamamoto right behind him.
"Sawada- kun, Yamamoto- kun, why don't you help Reboyama- sensei bring Gokudera- kun to the school clinic?" Their science teacher (a relatively new teacher and thus unaware of the weirder things regarding Tsuna's friends) suggested, seeing as they had both stood up to see if Gokudera- kun was alright (alive).
Both boys didn't need telling twice. They already knew "Reboyama- sensei's"(Reborn's) routine: They quickly picked up the unconscious Gokudera- kun from the floor and hightailed out of the classroom as fast as they could while following Reborn's lead.
Once they were out of the hearing range of the remaining occupants of the classroom:
"Reborn! What the Hell is this about NOW?!" Tsuna demanded of the intrepid Arcobaleno tutor.
"I've been thinking for a while and I've decided: as he is right now, Gokudera is not competent enough to be your Right hand." Reborn answered, looking very devious despite his unchanging facial expression... Tsuna wondered how he was still able to make him quake in his shoes without even moving a muscle... No, wait a minute... He shouldn't be wondering about that anymore: this is REBORN he's talking about...
"Wait a minute! What are you going to do to him!? You're not going to kill him, right?!" Tsuna protested and stopped walking without warning.
Yamamoto (who while walking had been looking curiously outside the windows at a fluffy little yellow bird singing their former middle school's Alma Mater song) bumped into him by accident, squishing Gokudera- kun between them and sending all three of them toppling over into a heap on the corridor floor.
"OWOWOWOW!! You guys are heavy! Get off of me!!" Tsuna yelped in pain from underneath Yamamoto and Gokudera- kun's combined weight (both of them had grown considerably taller over the summer and were thus a lot heavier now; Gokudera- kun seemed to be able to carry even more dynamite, now that he was bigger... But it unfortunately made the weight on top of Tsuna much heavier).
"Ahahahahaha! Sorry!" Yamamoto laughed sheepishly from where he had landed on top of the heap (Gokudera- kun's midsection). He picked himself up and bodily hauled Gokudera- kun (who had groaned but was still unconscious) off Tsuna's back. Reborn only smirked and waited for them to get Gokudera- kun into a more secure position for carrying.
"Stupid Tsuna; whether Gokudera dies or lives will depend on how well he perfects the skills he will gain from the training I will be requiring him to undergo later." Reborn said smilingly. "If he fails to perfect them, he will die. It may be not now but maybe sometime in the near future. The mortality rate of a Mafioso who has very little and or poor skills in certain areas is not exactly a pleasant figure, you know." (Tsuna wondered about his OWN mortality rate given his own poverty in whatever skills Reborn had deemed 'necessary for survival' in the mafia world).
Reborn then stopped at the door to the school infirmary and waited for them to get closer.
"What skills is he supposed to be learning?" Tsuna demanded when they stopped in front of the door as well, hoping it wasn't something as stupid and as ridiculously embarrassing as the "Zettai Maken" [2] (which Kyoko and Haru had perfected in middle school but he himself could never get the hang of).
Yamamoto, while he didn't quite get what was going on, wisely chose to be silent and looked politely puzzled between them.
"Not 'learn', Dame- Tsuna." Reborn smirked. "We're going to brainwash him. That way, it'll stay with him longer because eventually he'll learn integrate it into his personality. It may even become a second nature if his training is successful."
Tsuna gaped at this statement and an image of the unconscious Gokudera- kun being strapped down to a device that looked like an electric chair and made to wear a funny looking helmet with weird wires sticking on it popped into his mind. His imagination went a little further and created an image of a robot- like, homicidal- dynamite dispensing machine Gokudera- kun as the end result of some sadistic form of an electrocution process.
The thought wasn't exactly appealing.
He would rather keep Gokudera- kun as he is (overenthusiastically devoted/crazy- weird but with good intentions) than have a robotic stranger in his place. (Tsuna knew his imagination was running wild at this point, but knowing Reborn, it might just be what he was thinking... or worse...)
"No way! I won't allow this!" Tsuna blurted out. He tried to make himself look furious in a vain attempt to deter Reborn from brainwashing his friend... and consequently altering his personality drastically (not that it wasn't drastic already in the first place).
Reborn let Leon crawl into his hand and had him transform into a very familiar green pistol.
"You're not fully in charge yet so you can't fully make the decisions and order me around, Dame- Tsuna." Reborn's eyes gleamed imperiously as he cocked the gun (Leon) and pointed it at Tsuna. "As your tutor, it is my responsibility that you gain the edge as a future mafia boss, and that includes making your subordinates gain the skills of the top- class and elite. But if you're going to get in the way of that, I might have to do something about you then."
Tsuna shrank away in panic and quickly (and wisely) decided to comply... however he was also willing to press for his friend's safety. Yamamoto sensed the killing intent emanating from the Arcobaleno and gulped. He still thought the entire thing was a "mafia role- playing game" but he could already sense by now whether there was a real threat or not.
"Tsuna, j- just let it go. Sensei is serious..." He hissed from behind Tsuna.
Tsuna wanted to slap his forehead: Yamamoto was still easily fooled by Reborn's ridiculously obvious disguises... despite the fact that they had already known each other for... what? Nearly three years?
But Tsuna decided to take Yamamoto's word for it and back down... Yamamoto knew a big "killing intent" when he saw and felt one.
"Saa, let's go. We have a very busy schedule planned for Gokudera. But before he can start the new training, he has something that needs to get taken care of first." Reborn smirked again and slid the door to the high school's clinic open.
Tsuna and Yamamoto exchanged confused and nervous looks between themselves and followed the Arcobaleno tutor, unwillingly carrying his soon- to- be victim to his impending doom.
"What took you so long? I've got better things to do, you know."
Tsuna gaped and stared. "Doctor Shamal!?"
The said 'doctor' yawned and frowned rather disappointedly when he saw them.
"Oh, you two again... Damn, I was hoping that it might be some cute senior year girls. Ah, well..." He then took Gokudera- kun from them and dragged him inside to dump him into a bed. "Don't worry; we'll take good care of Hayato. You two just go on back to class." Shamal said and made a shooing motion with his hands.
When they didn't budge from their place near the door, he sighed and pushed them forcefully out of the school infirmary and shut the door.
Then he turned to frown at his former pupil whom he had just unceremoniously dumped into the bed. "Geeze... This brat again? I could be examining an entire population of cute high school girls but I'm stuck with this hard- head dead weight again?" He complained mostly to himself. Reborn only smirked.
Tsuna and Yamamoto stared at the closed door of the infirmary incredulously.
What could Reborn possibly need Dr. Shamal for with Gokudera- kun (Sure, he was Gokudera- kun's former tutor but Gokudera- kun refused to be further taught by Shamal; he had by now been trying to get Gokudera- kun to "expand his social circle" (...Try putting that in Shamal's context).
Both boys looked at each other, a bit worried, and decided to hang around and try to eavesdrop outside the clinic.
They both crouched near the door and tried to listen though the crack between the door and the wall (but it seemed that Reborn had somehow partially soundproofed the room and the door, although exactly how he had managed that Tsuna would never figure out).
After a while, they could hear Gokudera- kun's's voice... It seemed like he was furious about something.
Later they heard the sounds of struggle.
Then they both jumped when they heard Gokudera- kun yelling as if his life was in danger (... which he most probably is... OK, so maybe the soundproofing only worked for the normal speaking volumes).
That did it: Tsuna began to assume the worst possible case scenarios. Each one looked increasingly more disturbing than the one that came before it.
"Hiiieee!! What's going on? What's happening in there?!" Tsuna rambled with panic and worry. "Oh no, Gokudera- kun! What are they doing to him?! What are we going to do?! What are we going to do?! Yamamoto, we have to save him!!"
But what was really happening inside the infirmary began like this though:
"...if Gokudera succeeds, he can be our living legacy. We don't want the greatest skills of the best hit men to die out in Tsuna's generation, now do we?" Reborn wheedled a final bit of persuasion to get Shamal to agree in co- tutoring his former student with him. By this time he had already changed into his regular outfit and was donning his fedora again.
"Hmm... It might hurt my reputation, but if the way for an apprentice to succeed is to surpass his own master, then I guess there's no choice. Our generation isn't getting any younger after all." Shamal scratched the back of his neck lazily, casting a look at the unconscious teenager.
That sealed the deal: for the sake of Vongola's and Tsuna's future, they would help in shaping Hayato's own.
"I'm glad we're in an agreement then. I'll make sure this 'investment' while be worth your time." Reborn announced, smirking in triumph. "We'll begin his training later today."
"This'll be amusing..." Shamal smirked, as he looked at the teenage boy still unconscious in bed. "It'll be interesting to see how he'll handle learning to be a real man." He then chuckled.
"But first we need to get something taken care of." Reborn spoke again, this time referring to a completely different matter. "You read his file from his middle school years and his freshman year already, didn't you?" He then said seriously from his perch on the nurse's desk.
Shamal frowned, recounting everything he had read on his former pupil's file from the two school clinics.
The very thing that they required of Hayato could not be found and gave both of them quite a bit of a problem.
Just then, the boy they'd been talking about finally came to. He groaned, rubbed his neck where he'd been hit earlier and looked around the clinic.
Seeing that he was finally awake, the hit man doctor then immediately dragged the sixteen year- old out of bed and forced him into a chair: a dental chair to be exact... He even tied him down with some rope... actually... a 'little too much' rope... (Hayato could remind anybody of what a spider's next meal looks like...)
"Hey-! What the hell-?!" Hayato shouted in surprise and confusion. He glared then at Shamal for explanation to why he was here in the first place. "What the fuck IS this?! What the Hell am I doing here?!"
"We've been waiting for a long time for the school dentist to report if you had any cavities. Frankly, I'm disappointed in you, Hayato." Shamal sighed. "The school dentist is really a looker. I don't see why you don't want to let her take care of you-"
Hayato glared bloody murder at his former tutor. At this age, sixteen- going- on- seventeen years old, he had a very good idea what Shamal meant by 'take care'.
"Is that why I'm tied up here?!" He demanded. "That I don't have any cavities? What kind of screwed, fucked up problem is that?!"
Reborn- san then hopped into his lap and pulled his school uniform's necktie to bring his head closer to his. "Yes. You don't have any cavities. Not even ones from childhood. While very impressive at your age, it gives us some problems with what we have to have to done with you." Reborn- san said seriously.
"Huh!?" Hayato stared; still confused at why not having a cavity was a problem.
Since he had had several unfortunate experiences with Poison Cooking as a child, he had developed a consistent routine of brushing his teeth very thoroughly to get rid of whatever bits of Poison Cooking food out of his mouth (once he recovered his consciousness, that is). [3]
This habit persisted even while he was wandering around all over Italy, looking for a mafia family to join, and didn't see his sister for a long time up until he joined the Vongola mafia.
Not having any cavities was one end result of that obsessive habit. (Another was the absences of yellowing on the enamel surfaces of his teeth characteristic to regular smokers.)
"This was supposed to be placed on you sometime after you joined Tsuna's Family." Reborn- san held up a small tube of... something gray- white?
"What's that?" Hayato looked at the tube apprehensively.
"It looks like a filling for cavities used by dentists but it's actually an organic compound that is made to be traceable by a special type of GPS designed for Vongola's use only." Shamal explained. [4]
"Yamamoto's going to get his next weekend. He has a dental appointment scheduled, so it's not a problem. Ryohei's replacement teeth are made of the solidified and reinforced form of this compound as well." Reborn- san explained this time. "Lambo, as soon as he gets all of his adult teeth, will be getting it too. We're still trying to figure out how to get this on Hibari and Chrome though. Mukuro is out of the question since as his real body is still imprisoned and he constantly switches from one vessel to another."
"But why in cavities?" Hayato asked incredulously, his lower right eyelid twitching as he said this. His question went unanswered however.
"Anyway, this cannot be delayed any longer since the Vongola is going to upgrade their database soon." Shamal held up a dental drill. "I'm going to have to make a small hole in one of your third molars so you can get the special GPS chemical compound on you."
Hayato looked dubiously at the dental instrument in Shamal's hands.
...In Shamal's hands.
DENTAL.
DRILL.
In.
SHAMAL'S.
Hands.
Shamal is a good doctor (he had to admit that unwillingly), but there was absolutely no fucking way that he could be a good dentist: being a doctor doesn't equate one to be a dentist...
Hayato immediately remembered the last time he asked Shamal for anything to do with his teeth: he had a loose baby tooth when he was five years old. He had tried everything he could think of to get it to come out. When he couldn't succeed, he had asked Shamal to pull it out for him.
His loose baby tooth was on the left- hand side... Shamal had pulled out the one RIGHT BESIDE IT. (He had tried to apologize by giving Hayato a lollipop... which ended up in Shamal's left nostril. Thankfully that tooth was replaced by the adult one soon after and Hayato grew up with perfectly sized and straight- aligned adult teeth.)
But THAT did it.
Hayato is NOT willing to trust his dental care to Dr. Shamal EVER again...
"GET THE FUCKING HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING PERVERT- QUACK!!" He yelled loudly, furiously trying to wriggle out of the dental chair and ropes.
"It won't hurt; not if you move too much. I'll even give you a lollipop again after this. Didn't you used to like those when you were little?" Shamal teased and started the dental drill.
...!
"Open wide, Hayato,"
"!!"
Outside the infirmary, at the same time Reborn had been trying to convince Shamal to invest his time into "bettering Tsuna's future by shaping Gokudera's"; Yamamoto had tried to calm Tsuna down.
"Tsuna, wait- we can't just rush in there- He told us to go back to class, remember? We'll be in trouble with the teacher if-"
"What are you two doing outside of class, Tsuna?" Tsuna and Yamamoto both suddenly looked up to see Bianchi standing over them.
"Bianchi! What are you doing here?" Tsuna gaped, staring apprehensively at the bento box (with purple and green- colored smoke coming out of it for obvious reasons) she was carrying with her.
"I wanted to give Reborn this bento I made for his lunch." Bianchi gushed, blushing as she thought of the Arcobaleno hit man.
Tsuna and Yamamoto both suppressed shudders when the looked at the (still smoking) bento.
All of a sudden Tsuna had an idea: if he went in to try and 'rescue' Gokudera- kun himself, Reborn would no doubt give him pain ten times worse during his after- school tutoring later.
...But if it was BIANCHI who went in...
"Gokudera- kun is in there, in bed; Dr. Shamal is doing definitely something horrible to him inside," He told her quickly (at least the bed was the last place where he saw Gokudera- kun). "He locked the door so we can't go in to rescue him." He finished, conveniently leaving Reborn out of the story.
Predictably, Bianchi grew furious at the mention of her brother's name with the phrases 'in bed' and 'Shamal is doing definitely something horrible to him,' and completely misinterpreted everything as usual.
As if to further add fuel to the fire... the next thing they heard from behind the ("almost soundproof") infirmary door made it all the more convincing for Bianchi: "SHAMAL, I SWEAR IF YOU EVEN SO MUCH AS THINK OF STICKING YOUR FUCKING THING IN MY MOUTH, I'LL- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! STOP!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!"
The hairs on the back of Tsuna and Yamamoto's necks stood up as they listened to the commotion inside the school clinic.
"Go back to class, you two. I will take care of getting Hayato back." Bianchi declared acidly, a shadow cast over her eyes. Then she pulled out one of her infamous Poison Cooking tools: Melting Sticky Sakura Rice. Tsuna backed away along with Yamamoto and they both watched her melt the lock easily with it.
Since Bianchi was about to open the door and Tsuna didn't want to get into trouble with Reborn (but still had a dreaded feeling that he was going to be anyway), he pulled on Yamamoto's sleeve to indicate that they return to the classroom and get out of harm's way before she began her rampage.
As they made their way back to their classroom, Tsuna made a silent apology to Gokudera- kun in his mind for what had to happen to save him. (He had half a mind to ask Yamamoto to join him in a short prayer for Gokudera- kun... May God and Buddha... and especially Reborn... have mercy on his damned, unfortunate soul...)
He knew that Gokudera- kun still got painful stomachaches whenever he saw Bianchi's face.
But, Tsuna reasoned, it was better than being brainwashed by Reborn and Shamal.
If he wanted to avoid horrible consequences, he would have to pick the lesser evil.
... It was part of the Vongola mafia boss' job to make the best possible decisions after all... even if they were still highly unpleasant...
Oh, good Buddha, he was starting to think like a mafia boss!
Tsuna definitely did NOT want to go there: 'Think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... think non- mafia boss thoughts... Aaahhh... Kyoko- chan...'
The infirmary door violently slid open and Bianchi rushed in, eyes blazing furiously, and the bento box meant for Reborn still smoking.
"HAYATO!" She shrieked as she ran in to 'rescue' him, slamming a strawberry cake (which she seemed to have pulled out of nowhere) into Shamal's face, forcing him to drop the dental drill and fall over backwards.
Unfortunately, Hayato had seen her face. He immediately started to spasm violently, frothed at the mouth and his eyes rolled into the back of his head.
"Hayato! He didn't do anything to you, did he!?" Bianchi asked him urgently as she melted the ropes with several pieces of sashimi.
She then shook her brother as if it would make the answers tumble out of his mouth.
Instead of answering her question, he only continued convulsing, shuddering while muttering some incoherent speech ("Gwwooo weehhhyy...").
Bianchi didn't seem to notice how sicker she was making him and went on ranting as she inspected Hayato's clothes: they were in obvious disarray.
His school shirt was unbuttoned (Hayato still refused to wear his uniform the proper way), his uniform necktie was hung in such a way that looked like it had been pulled on forcefully (Reborn's fault earlier), and his undershirt was badly rumpled and almost yanked out of his pants where it had been tucked in earlier (but Bianchi didn't think that it was from her clutching at his clothes while shaking him).
She thought that it was because he had been handled by force and against his will by someone else (Shamal) before she arrived.
Bianchi could feel him trembling badly in her grasp and attributed it to a trauma of another kind...: [5]
"Did HE touch you, Hayato?! Tell me, where did he touch you?! I'll kill him if he touched you inappropriately! That FILTHY man! Now he's included poor innocent young boys into his range as well?!" She shrieked hysterically. "Hayato, how long has he been doing THIS to you? Ever since you were a child?!"
Her continual shaking of Hayato's limp body made his head bobble up and down; making it almost appear as if he were nodding rigorously to confirm her unfounded and outlandish theory.
For Bianchi, that was good enough to start hunting for blood.
...A certain 'filthy man's' blood... She rounded on him, eyes glaring murderously and promising retribution for her "poor innocent little brother"...
Shamal's jaw had dropped open at the accusations. (He had blocked the deadly strawberry cake to his face with another one of his protective cloth shields.)
"Bianchi- chun, [6] how could you say such a thing! I'm only interested in the fairer sex, I swear!" Shamal tried to save whatever was left of his image. "Here, let me kiss you to prove that I'm still loyal to you!"
He moved closer to her, puckering up his lips as he did so.
"SHUT UP!" Bianchi snapped and threw the smoking bento she had brought for Reborn at Shamal's unguarded face. "YOU'RE DISGUSTING!"
"It seems we've forgotten to obtain Bianchi's consent before having anything done to Gokudera. She might have objections to having her brother's teeth tampered with in the future thanks to this." Reborn said to Leon from under the pillow they were hiding under while Bianchi continued to attempt to murder Shamal. "She IS his legal guardian while he's still a minor after all."
So for the meantime, Gokudera's teeth (and 'innocence', according to Reborn) were safe from Dr. Shamal... thanks to his sister's cooking...
Later that day, after Tsuna learned about what really happened inside the infirmary from Gokudera, he protested to Reborn and told him he was against his friends being 'tagged'.
Reborn had then dared him to give a valid explanation for his disapproval of the Vongola's GPS project "Weather Tracker" at gun(Leon)point.
Tsuna then gave a 'What if the Vongola's database got hacked?' The enemies could very easily pinpoint all of his friends' exact locations and probably hit them with missiles and whatnot. (Well, he was already rambling at this point; he had been thinking of all the impossible and outlandish scenarios that the mafia world always seemed to spring on him since he and Yamamoto had been sent out of the high school infirmary.)
Reborn then smirked and 'praised' (kicked) him for using his 'foresight'; a mafia boss should have excellent foresight in order to prepare for the future.
He went on to say that Tsuna had passed the exercise for the day; a little more practice and he would be able to hone his Hyper Intuition into a second nature, even when he wasn't in his Dying Will Mode.
Tsuna grew even more horrified at this and protested all the more that he DIDN'T want to become a mafia boss.
Thus in the end, Gokudera- kun never got any of the GPS tracers in his teeth... Actually... None of Tsuna's Guardians (save for Oniisan) did. [7]
A week later, Oniisan's false teeth were 'replaced' with a different solidified form of another chemical compound: the glow- in- the- dark kind.
"To match his position as the 'Sun'," Reborn had smirked after he told Tsuna about the new developments and the scrapping of the Vongola's GPS project "Weather Tracker".
Meanwhile, Gokudera- kun fell off Tsuna's bed and nearly killed himself laughing...
It was after Yamamoto had switched off the lights in Tsuna's room (so they could watch some movie he'd picked up about a demon- possessed girl [8] in the dark) while Oniisan was proudly grinning widely to show off his EXTREMELY new, pearly whites.
Tsuna deadpanned, staring at Oniisan's mouth, and told his tutor they reminded him more of the 'moon' than the 'sun'.
TRANSMISSION OF DECLASSIFIED ARCHIVE FILE 005 DISCONNECTED
A/N: Killer smile indeed... I'd kill myself laughing too...! By now, I think we all know that a 'medical' profession and a 'dental' profession are two very different things... One does not equate the other.
Hmm... good thing that GPS tooth project was never implemented. Imagine how much more Hell it would have been if the Millefiore had gotten a hold of that GPS system. How much easier it would have been to track down the adult Guardians. Boss Tsuna has incredible foresight! (... Or is it just really a result of a wild imagination...?)
-snerk- Well, this was a really crack- crazy one- shot (and the longest one to boot)... But I seemed to have gotten off track from my original idea for the one- shot... (Namely Reborn's new special training regimen to make Gokudera one of the top class hit men in preparation for Tsuna's future... XP).
[1] Reboyama: One of Reborn's cosplay personas... he dresses up like the generic Japanese teacher... with Yamamoto's hair... (Reborn + Yama's hair... so... Reboyama...) I thought it was by far his most "normal- looking" disguise.
[2] Zettai Maken: You know... Zettai Maken...? It was in the anime; one of those corny fillers. It was incredibly stupid and a good waste of time to watch. Kyoko and Haru mastered that useless skill though...
[3] Smoking & Brushing: Well, this sort of answers why Gokudera's teeth are still white despite his smoking habit... But even that's not going to completely prevent any future adverse effects on his health... I'm pretty convinced there's going to be something physically/ genetically/ mentally/ psychologically wrong with his kids (if he'll ever have any... assuming he doesn't have ED or sperm abnormality when he gets older...)
[4] Organic GPS Compound: There is no such thing. LOL. I just made it up. KHR! always has the most fantastical science fiction inventions and methods (Ten Year Bazooka, box weapons, concealment of impossibly large quantities of dynamite on a human body...) Eh, who knows? I'm no chemistry genius but maybe someday there will be an organic chemical compound that can be used as dental fillings in place of GPS dots for tagging.
[5] A Different Kind of Trauma: What Bianchi thinks: Dirty old man (Shamal) and poor innocent little boy (Hayato)... equals... Use your imagination and make sure it's an outlandish one... Yeah, you probably got it now... That's probably what Bianchi had in mind...
[6] '- chun': Combination of 'chuu' (Japanese sound effect for a kiss) and '- chan' honorific. Shamal's always using it with Bianchi's name.
[7] Ryohei's EXTREMELY New Pearly Whites: In the manga (during the Kokuyo Arc), Ryohei got four of his teeth pulled out to mark him as number four of Namimori's strongest fighter. Gokudera would have had three pulled out if he hadn't beaten Chikusa first. Yamamoto should have lost two if they got to him... and Hibari... would have lost one? (Is he the number one? Yeah, I think he was the one with that rank.) Hahaha... What was I thinking...? ...Glow- in- the- dark teeth... LOL XD
[8] Demon- possessed girl: Emily Rose of"The Exorcism of Emily Rose". Seen this movie yet?