Fic: Puzzling Evidence (Part XX), NC-17, Lorne/Zelenka by inkscribe
Title: Puzzling Evidence (Part XX)
Author: inkscribe
Pairings: Lorne/Zelenka
Kink: mild D/s, bondage, spanking
Warnings: This story has angst. Really! See angst-o-meter for chapter rating.
Angst-o-meter: kilo-angst (strong)
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~2700 (this part)
Spoilers: none(this part)
Locations: atlantiskink, welovezelenka, slashing_lorne, my LJ
Feedback: yes, please!
Summary: What we see is not always what it seems.
Chapter Summary: Confusion.
New to this WIP? Check out the Puzzling Evidence chapter index! Please remember to read the header block of each chapter for related spoiler alerts, warnings, and notes.
Author's Notes: Yes, the angst continues. Yes, the story continues! :-) No, I’m not telling any hints! ;-) Again, IANAD - I Am Not A Doctor! Any medical errors are between me and Wikipedia.
As always, huge thank yous to darkmuadib, and mice1900 for the betas; any errors are most definitely mine. ;-)
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is not mine; please don’t sue, we’ll both regret it in the morning.
Carson exited the washroom just as Marc and Elizabeth arrived with Radek in tow. What the hell - Radek? he thought, and rushed to their side.
“What’s wrong?” Elizabeth glanced at him with an odd expression and he flushed, hot and embarrassed, remembering that now he was the patient, not the doctor. Marc, though, Marc answered him without reservation, “I don’t know, doc. He came to my office a few minutes ago, not speaking. He’s been like this the whole time.”
Carson stepped forward into Radek’s line of sight. “Radek? Can you hear me? Can you speak to us please, son?” Carson was surprised by the strength in his voice, the strength he felt growing in his body as he slipped again into the role of the doctor, the role of the physician. I’ve been a bloody fool, he thought. Lollygagging and moping abed when there are people out there who need help. Radek’s in a bad way again, and I haven’t a clue as to what he’s been doing since he was released.
He gently grasped Radek’s wrist, checking the man’s pulse. He was pleased to feel it strong and steady, and smiled encouragingly at the man. He looked directly into Radek’s eyes and said, “Well, that feels good - nice and strong. Let’s take a closer look at you, shall we?”
He guided the group over to an examination table and watched as Marc helped his lover to sit. Carson smiled thankfully as the duty doctor passed him his labcoat and stethoscope; he felt a small spark of warmth when the woman smiled back, nodding a silent welcome, no hint of censure lurking in her eyes. He took a penlight from his pocket, checked Radek’s eyes for pupillary reflex. Good, he thought. Pupillary accommodation reflex, also good.
“Elizabeth,” he said. “I’m sorry, but I need to listen to Radek’s chest. Would you step out and draw the curtain for us, please?”
He saw Elizabeth’s accept his request, nodding as though she were also approving of his return to duty. He was pleased when she offered a small smile. “Of course,” she said as she stepped away.
“Radek, can you lift your shirt for me so I can listen to your chest?” Radek blinked, then shook his head, not in refusal as though he were trying to wake himself.
“Radek?” Carson asked.
Radek blinked again and peered at Carson through still-wide eyes. “Doctor Beckett?” he asked. His voice was uncertain.
“Yes, Radek. It’s me, Carson,” he smiled. “Do you know where you are?”
“But Carson, you - you are unwell,” Radek said, confused.
Carson sighed, “Aye, you’re right. But I saw you come in and thought you might need a friendly face.” He saw a slight movement from the corner of his eye, noticed Marc move closer, smiling at his words.
“It’s good to see you up again, doc - Carson,” Marc said. “Radek and I were worried for you.” Carson noticed Marc steal a hand to Radek’s shoulder, noticed him give the man a soft squeeze when he said Carson’s name. Radek nodded at his words.
Carson wondered at it - Elizabeth, Marc, Radek, even his own team - they weren’t treating him with kid gloves, they weren’t treating him as though he had no business being anywhere near a labcoat, never mind a patient. Maybe what Kate said was true, maybe people were worried for him, but were worried enough to forgive him for what he had done instead of blame him for what they thought he had done. He shoved aside those thoughts, though, as he looked at the man in front of him.
“Radek,” he said. “Can you tell us what happened? Do you know why you’re here?”
He watched Radek frown, his look a mixture of lost confusion and deep concentration. Marc watched him too, his eyes dark with worry.
“I was in the lab,” Radek frowned, trying to think back. “Working on the Ancient database.” He trailed off, staring into space.
“What were you doing in the lab?” Carson prompted, wondering why the man had been returned to work again so soon after his trauma. So soon?, he thought. I’m one to talk. Kate, I’m certain, is going to have a fit.
Radek looked up, blinking rapidly as the memories came back to him. “Yes, yes - “ he said. “I was in the lab, working on the Ancient database. Rodney -” He stopped again, thinking.
“Rodney was with you?” Carson asked.
He shook his head. “Ne - ne,” he said. “Not -” he paused again. Carson and Marc waited patiently for him to continue.
“Rodney was not there,” Radek said quietly. “I was there because Doctor Weir ordered him off duty. She asked me to supervise until he could return.”
Carson nodded - that made sense. Since almost the beginning, it was apparent to everyone that Radek had been second only to Rodney in matters scientific on Atlantis. “Go on,” Carson encouraged gently. “Do you remember what happened - what happened after you were working on the database?”
Radek frowned again. “Ne,” he said, slowly. “No - not really. Just working in the lab. Just an ordinary day.”
“But you came to my - Colonel Sheppard’s - office,” Marc prompted. “Do you remember that?”
Carson saw the confusion flicker in Radek’s eyes, saw him searching his memory. “The office?” he said. “Yes, I - I think so. I walked to the office. I needed to see Marc.”
“Do you remember why?” Carson asked.
Radek shook his head, frustrated. “No.”
Marc turned to face Carson, his hand still squeezing Radek’s shoulder. “He came to my office. I don’t know how long he stood in the doorway before I noticed him - I was working on the computer and didn’t hear him arrive.”
Radek looked blankly at his lover, who glanced back at him with a reassuring smile. Carson nodded, “Then what happened?”
“He didn’t look right,” Marc continued. “His eyes - his eyes were big, like he was terrified. When he came in, it was slow, almost like he was sleepwalking.”
“Did he stagger? List to one side or another?” Carson asked.
“No,” Marc said. “He was walking, just like when we got here. A bit more hesitant, step-by-step, but it seemed normal otherwise. Nothing off-balanced.”
“Good. Go on,” Carson said. He had noticed Radek’s gait seemed normal, if somewhat slow, when they arrived. Even his ability to respond to prompting to get onto the table had appeared normal.
“When he came over to me, he didn’t say anything,” Marc said. “He just dropped to the floor and knelt beside me.”
“Knelt?” Carson said, surprised.
Marc and Radek both flushed slightly. “Yeah,” Marc said. “It’s a position we use when, you know -” he trailed off.
Carson felt a little jolt of amusement at their hesitation, one that was rapidly coloured by a small twinge of loneliness. Unfortunately, he needed to clarify what the man meant. “No, I don’t know,” he said gently. “Are you talking about fellatio or something else?”
Gentle or no, Marc winced slightly at Carson’s blunt question. “No, not fellatio,” he choked out. “More for beginning things, you know. When we’re going to make love. It’s kind of a ritual, a habit with us.”
“Aye,” Carson said, nodding. “That I understand. Sorry. What happened next?”
“He leaned against my leg,” Marc remembered. “But when I spoke to him he didn’t respond. I tried touching his hair - when he’s been stressed, before - sometimes that seems to help,” he explained. Carson nodded again.
Marc turned back to Radek. “I was worried,” he said quietly. He squeezed Radek’s shoulder again.
“I am sorry,” Radek whispered. Marc smiled at him, and Radek returned the smile, a tiny, private moment between two lovers. Carson again felt a small pang of loneliness at the sight.
Carson cleared his throat. “Marc, how did you get Radek to follow you here?”
“I told him we needed to come to the infirmary,” Marc answered. “For a long time he didn’t move and I thought I might have to call for assistance, but after awhile, he stood and walked with me.”
“And then you arrived here?”
“Yes.”
Carson returned his gaze to the scientist. “Radek,” he asked. “Have you had anything like this happen before?”
The scientist frowned at him, thinking. “No,” he said, shaking his head slightly.
“Have you had any injuries to your head recently, injuries that you did not report to me or to anyone in the infirmary?”
“No.”
“Have you a history of epilepsy?”
“No.”
Carson paused, thoughtful. So many possibilities, he mused, but with Radek’s recent trauma, perhaps -
oOo
Wrapped in thought, Elizabeth hardly spared a glance at anyone she passed. She kept thinking about Radek, how he walked along with Marc - with her - docile but unheeding, from Sheppard’s office to the infirmary. She suppressed a shiver at the memory. He’s always so vital, she thought. But today, he was like a zombie.
She walked briskly, winding through corridors and climbing staircases. She needed some time to think, some time to sit and perhaps stare at the ocean, some time alone.
For the first year - two, even - Elizabeth awoke every morning with the excitement of a child on Christmas day. Despite the constant threat of annihilation by Wraith, she met the morning believing that every day they survived was a good day, and every bit of knowledge they winnowed from Atlantis a success.
Now, though, she was no longer so enthused. Those first two years, she would have given her right arm to have weeks of quiet, weeks where no Wraith skirted dangerously close to the edge of their sensor net, weeks where no one died on offworld missions or was hurt from handling poorly-understood or malfunctioning Ancient equipment. Yet now that she had this small, quiet wish granted, her world seemed to fall apart. Not for her personally - she still woke each morning ready to face the day, happy to celebrate their successes and look forward to the next. But the people around her, people Elizabeth trusted implicitly and had always believed she could rely upon until the end of time, those people weren’t doing so well anymore. The situation was beginning to worry her, a deep constant ache in the pit of her stomach, one that never quite went away.
Radek scared her. He was normally so alive. Not the crazed, over-the-top vitality that Rodney so often displayed, but the liveliness of someone driven by a thirst for knowledge balanced by the ability to appreciate his achievements as he gained them. And Rodney - she never thought she’d live long enough to see the day that he would stop eating, would ignore his need for regular nourishment, the day he had to be rescued from death for something as foolish as allowing his blood sugar to go too far out of balance.
John? Well, since Elizabeth and he had found Carson, he’d been off-balance as well. Before then, really, with being willing to attack Marc, being willing to hold him without due process. If she were honest with herself, until just a few minutes ago, Carson had her scared as well, although if his behaviour when they arrived with Radek was any indication, he was moving towards coping again. She would have to check in with Kate again to see how he was coping.
Coping, she thought. Somehow we’re not coping anymore. Had all the months of rising to each challenge, over and over again, beyond all expectation, beyond all reason, finally taken its toll? Had everyone simply met those challenges because they had no choice, because the pressure was always there, always driving them, only to break apart once the pressure lessened, some sort of emotional explosive decompression?
Elizabeth felt anxious, agitated. She needed to centre herself or she knew she would forfeit any ability to navigate her people through these crises. Maybe she didn’t need to be alone right now, maybe she needed something else, some time to reflect, yes, but not alone. She remembered that Teyla was supposed to be returning from the mainland today. Elizabeth changed course to see if the Athosian would be willing to sit in mediation with her.
oOo
“What are we doing here again?” Ronon asked sceptically.
“Oh, just taking a look around,” Rodney chirped. “Just looking.”
“And Carson knows you’re here?”
“Well -” Rodney hesitated.
“McKay!” Ronon growled.
“Well, not as such - no,” Rodney said, rushing through the words. “But if it were someone else, trust me - Carson would totally understand. Even encourage it.”
“So you’re breaking in to his quarters.”
“Well, yeah.”
“Does Shep know?”
Rodney knew he looked guilty, knew he was lousy at covering up his emotions, covering up his thoughts and opinions. “Ah, no - no he doesn’t.”
Ronon crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Look,” Rodney tried to bluff anyway. “If John knew about this little, er - visit - he’d want to be here, too. And then there would be three of us and it would just look really suspicious.”
“And it’s not suspicious now?”
Rodney glanced around the room, then back to Carson’s open door. “Not really?” he said, annoyed that his voice came out as a strangled squeak instead of the firm statement he imagined. Damnit, he thought. Can’t the man stop asking questions long enough for me to look around a bit?
He began to feel nervous as Ronon raked him with a suspicious gaze. Then the man glanced around and asked, “So what are you looking for?”
“C.S.I.,” Rodney said.
“Seaessaye?” Ronon repeated. “Never heard of them. Some sort of insect?”
Rodney gave an exasperated snort as he shake of his head. When was he ever going to learn that people in the Pegasus Galaxy had no sense of absurd television? “No - C.S.I., Crime Scene Investigation,” he explained, as patient as he could muster under the clandestine circumstances of their discussion.
“There was a crime in here?” Ronon asked. “The doctor’s heart attack?”
“Well, no, not really - not that,” Rodney said, distracted as he poked around in closets and shelves, looking for clues to something he couldn’t explain. “But there might have been a crime, and this might have been the scene of it. So we’re investigating.”
“We?” Ronon repeated.
Rodney gave an exasperated sigh. “Fine, technically? Me,” he snarked. “I’m looking for evidence that something forced Carson to hurt himself.”
Ronon stared at him, and from his expression, Rodney wondered whether the man was following what he was talking about. He wasn’t really the walking carpet Rodney had first believed, but just the cultural gulf alone was the root of many a misunderstanding, sometimes even amusing misunderstandings. Or so Rodney had always hoped.
He decided to try to explain. “Look,” he said. “It’s like when you do your Runner thing, you know? Look around, look for something out of the ordinary, try to figure out what it means - is it what you’re tracking, or is it from something tracking you?”
“Oh,” Ronon said.
“Yeah - oh,” Rodney snarked, feeling his temper get the better of him. “So can we stop with the questions so I can get on with it?”
“Yeah,” Ronon said.
“Good,” Rodney said. “Because I’m looking for something - anything - that might be out of the ordinary.”
“You mean like this?” Ronon asked, standing near Carson’s desk and dangling something from a finger.
Rodney stepped forward to examine the item. About arm’s length, thick as a pinkie finger, black, and braided. He touched it. Silky texture. Nothing like that was ever used in the infirmary, and Rodney couldn’t think of a single item of clothing that Carson had brought with them to Atlantis that could possibly require such a unique cord to fasten it. He gulped, eyes wide.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Like that.”
End Part XX
Czech, in order of appearance:
ne - no
Author: inkscribe
Pairings: Lorne/Zelenka
Kink: mild D/s, bondage, spanking
Warnings: This story has angst. Really! See angst-o-meter for chapter rating.
Angst-o-meter: kilo-angst (strong)
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~2700 (this part)
Spoilers: none(this part)
Locations: atlantiskink, welovezelenka, slashing_lorne, my LJ
Feedback: yes, please!
Summary: What we see is not always what it seems.
Chapter Summary: Confusion.
New to this WIP? Check out the Puzzling Evidence chapter index! Please remember to read the header block of each chapter for related spoiler alerts, warnings, and notes.
Author's Notes: Yes, the angst continues. Yes, the story continues! :-) No, I’m not telling any hints! ;-) Again, IANAD - I Am Not A Doctor! Any medical errors are between me and Wikipedia.
As always, huge thank yous to darkmuadib, and mice1900 for the betas; any errors are most definitely mine. ;-)
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is not mine; please don’t sue, we’ll both regret it in the morning.
Carson exited the washroom just as Marc and Elizabeth arrived with Radek in tow. What the hell - Radek? he thought, and rushed to their side.
“What’s wrong?” Elizabeth glanced at him with an odd expression and he flushed, hot and embarrassed, remembering that now he was the patient, not the doctor. Marc, though, Marc answered him without reservation, “I don’t know, doc. He came to my office a few minutes ago, not speaking. He’s been like this the whole time.”
Carson stepped forward into Radek’s line of sight. “Radek? Can you hear me? Can you speak to us please, son?” Carson was surprised by the strength in his voice, the strength he felt growing in his body as he slipped again into the role of the doctor, the role of the physician. I’ve been a bloody fool, he thought. Lollygagging and moping abed when there are people out there who need help. Radek’s in a bad way again, and I haven’t a clue as to what he’s been doing since he was released.
He gently grasped Radek’s wrist, checking the man’s pulse. He was pleased to feel it strong and steady, and smiled encouragingly at the man. He looked directly into Radek’s eyes and said, “Well, that feels good - nice and strong. Let’s take a closer look at you, shall we?”
He guided the group over to an examination table and watched as Marc helped his lover to sit. Carson smiled thankfully as the duty doctor passed him his labcoat and stethoscope; he felt a small spark of warmth when the woman smiled back, nodding a silent welcome, no hint of censure lurking in her eyes. He took a penlight from his pocket, checked Radek’s eyes for pupillary reflex. Good, he thought. Pupillary accommodation reflex, also good.
“Elizabeth,” he said. “I’m sorry, but I need to listen to Radek’s chest. Would you step out and draw the curtain for us, please?”
He saw Elizabeth’s accept his request, nodding as though she were also approving of his return to duty. He was pleased when she offered a small smile. “Of course,” she said as she stepped away.
“Radek, can you lift your shirt for me so I can listen to your chest?” Radek blinked, then shook his head, not in refusal as though he were trying to wake himself.
“Radek?” Carson asked.
Radek blinked again and peered at Carson through still-wide eyes. “Doctor Beckett?” he asked. His voice was uncertain.
“Yes, Radek. It’s me, Carson,” he smiled. “Do you know where you are?”
“But Carson, you - you are unwell,” Radek said, confused.
Carson sighed, “Aye, you’re right. But I saw you come in and thought you might need a friendly face.” He saw a slight movement from the corner of his eye, noticed Marc move closer, smiling at his words.
“It’s good to see you up again, doc - Carson,” Marc said. “Radek and I were worried for you.” Carson noticed Marc steal a hand to Radek’s shoulder, noticed him give the man a soft squeeze when he said Carson’s name. Radek nodded at his words.
Carson wondered at it - Elizabeth, Marc, Radek, even his own team - they weren’t treating him with kid gloves, they weren’t treating him as though he had no business being anywhere near a labcoat, never mind a patient. Maybe what Kate said was true, maybe people were worried for him, but were worried enough to forgive him for what he had done instead of blame him for what they thought he had done. He shoved aside those thoughts, though, as he looked at the man in front of him.
“Radek,” he said. “Can you tell us what happened? Do you know why you’re here?”
He watched Radek frown, his look a mixture of lost confusion and deep concentration. Marc watched him too, his eyes dark with worry.
“I was in the lab,” Radek frowned, trying to think back. “Working on the Ancient database.” He trailed off, staring into space.
“What were you doing in the lab?” Carson prompted, wondering why the man had been returned to work again so soon after his trauma. So soon?, he thought. I’m one to talk. Kate, I’m certain, is going to have a fit.
Radek looked up, blinking rapidly as the memories came back to him. “Yes, yes - “ he said. “I was in the lab, working on the Ancient database. Rodney -” He stopped again, thinking.
“Rodney was with you?” Carson asked.
He shook his head. “Ne - ne,” he said. “Not -” he paused again. Carson and Marc waited patiently for him to continue.
“Rodney was not there,” Radek said quietly. “I was there because Doctor Weir ordered him off duty. She asked me to supervise until he could return.”
Carson nodded - that made sense. Since almost the beginning, it was apparent to everyone that Radek had been second only to Rodney in matters scientific on Atlantis. “Go on,” Carson encouraged gently. “Do you remember what happened - what happened after you were working on the database?”
Radek frowned again. “Ne,” he said, slowly. “No - not really. Just working in the lab. Just an ordinary day.”
“But you came to my - Colonel Sheppard’s - office,” Marc prompted. “Do you remember that?”
Carson saw the confusion flicker in Radek’s eyes, saw him searching his memory. “The office?” he said. “Yes, I - I think so. I walked to the office. I needed to see Marc.”
“Do you remember why?” Carson asked.
Radek shook his head, frustrated. “No.”
Marc turned to face Carson, his hand still squeezing Radek’s shoulder. “He came to my office. I don’t know how long he stood in the doorway before I noticed him - I was working on the computer and didn’t hear him arrive.”
Radek looked blankly at his lover, who glanced back at him with a reassuring smile. Carson nodded, “Then what happened?”
“He didn’t look right,” Marc continued. “His eyes - his eyes were big, like he was terrified. When he came in, it was slow, almost like he was sleepwalking.”
“Did he stagger? List to one side or another?” Carson asked.
“No,” Marc said. “He was walking, just like when we got here. A bit more hesitant, step-by-step, but it seemed normal otherwise. Nothing off-balanced.”
“Good. Go on,” Carson said. He had noticed Radek’s gait seemed normal, if somewhat slow, when they arrived. Even his ability to respond to prompting to get onto the table had appeared normal.
“When he came over to me, he didn’t say anything,” Marc said. “He just dropped to the floor and knelt beside me.”
“Knelt?” Carson said, surprised.
Marc and Radek both flushed slightly. “Yeah,” Marc said. “It’s a position we use when, you know -” he trailed off.
Carson felt a little jolt of amusement at their hesitation, one that was rapidly coloured by a small twinge of loneliness. Unfortunately, he needed to clarify what the man meant. “No, I don’t know,” he said gently. “Are you talking about fellatio or something else?”
Gentle or no, Marc winced slightly at Carson’s blunt question. “No, not fellatio,” he choked out. “More for beginning things, you know. When we’re going to make love. It’s kind of a ritual, a habit with us.”
“Aye,” Carson said, nodding. “That I understand. Sorry. What happened next?”
“He leaned against my leg,” Marc remembered. “But when I spoke to him he didn’t respond. I tried touching his hair - when he’s been stressed, before - sometimes that seems to help,” he explained. Carson nodded again.
Marc turned back to Radek. “I was worried,” he said quietly. He squeezed Radek’s shoulder again.
“I am sorry,” Radek whispered. Marc smiled at him, and Radek returned the smile, a tiny, private moment between two lovers. Carson again felt a small pang of loneliness at the sight.
Carson cleared his throat. “Marc, how did you get Radek to follow you here?”
“I told him we needed to come to the infirmary,” Marc answered. “For a long time he didn’t move and I thought I might have to call for assistance, but after awhile, he stood and walked with me.”
“And then you arrived here?”
“Yes.”
Carson returned his gaze to the scientist. “Radek,” he asked. “Have you had anything like this happen before?”
The scientist frowned at him, thinking. “No,” he said, shaking his head slightly.
“Have you had any injuries to your head recently, injuries that you did not report to me or to anyone in the infirmary?”
“No.”
“Have you a history of epilepsy?”
“No.”
Carson paused, thoughtful. So many possibilities, he mused, but with Radek’s recent trauma, perhaps -
oOo
Wrapped in thought, Elizabeth hardly spared a glance at anyone she passed. She kept thinking about Radek, how he walked along with Marc - with her - docile but unheeding, from Sheppard’s office to the infirmary. She suppressed a shiver at the memory. He’s always so vital, she thought. But today, he was like a zombie.
She walked briskly, winding through corridors and climbing staircases. She needed some time to think, some time to sit and perhaps stare at the ocean, some time alone.
For the first year - two, even - Elizabeth awoke every morning with the excitement of a child on Christmas day. Despite the constant threat of annihilation by Wraith, she met the morning believing that every day they survived was a good day, and every bit of knowledge they winnowed from Atlantis a success.
Now, though, she was no longer so enthused. Those first two years, she would have given her right arm to have weeks of quiet, weeks where no Wraith skirted dangerously close to the edge of their sensor net, weeks where no one died on offworld missions or was hurt from handling poorly-understood or malfunctioning Ancient equipment. Yet now that she had this small, quiet wish granted, her world seemed to fall apart. Not for her personally - she still woke each morning ready to face the day, happy to celebrate their successes and look forward to the next. But the people around her, people Elizabeth trusted implicitly and had always believed she could rely upon until the end of time, those people weren’t doing so well anymore. The situation was beginning to worry her, a deep constant ache in the pit of her stomach, one that never quite went away.
Radek scared her. He was normally so alive. Not the crazed, over-the-top vitality that Rodney so often displayed, but the liveliness of someone driven by a thirst for knowledge balanced by the ability to appreciate his achievements as he gained them. And Rodney - she never thought she’d live long enough to see the day that he would stop eating, would ignore his need for regular nourishment, the day he had to be rescued from death for something as foolish as allowing his blood sugar to go too far out of balance.
John? Well, since Elizabeth and he had found Carson, he’d been off-balance as well. Before then, really, with being willing to attack Marc, being willing to hold him without due process. If she were honest with herself, until just a few minutes ago, Carson had her scared as well, although if his behaviour when they arrived with Radek was any indication, he was moving towards coping again. She would have to check in with Kate again to see how he was coping.
Coping, she thought. Somehow we’re not coping anymore. Had all the months of rising to each challenge, over and over again, beyond all expectation, beyond all reason, finally taken its toll? Had everyone simply met those challenges because they had no choice, because the pressure was always there, always driving them, only to break apart once the pressure lessened, some sort of emotional explosive decompression?
Elizabeth felt anxious, agitated. She needed to centre herself or she knew she would forfeit any ability to navigate her people through these crises. Maybe she didn’t need to be alone right now, maybe she needed something else, some time to reflect, yes, but not alone. She remembered that Teyla was supposed to be returning from the mainland today. Elizabeth changed course to see if the Athosian would be willing to sit in mediation with her.
oOo
“What are we doing here again?” Ronon asked sceptically.
“Oh, just taking a look around,” Rodney chirped. “Just looking.”
“And Carson knows you’re here?”
“Well -” Rodney hesitated.
“McKay!” Ronon growled.
“Well, not as such - no,” Rodney said, rushing through the words. “But if it were someone else, trust me - Carson would totally understand. Even encourage it.”
“So you’re breaking in to his quarters.”
“Well, yeah.”
“Does Shep know?”
Rodney knew he looked guilty, knew he was lousy at covering up his emotions, covering up his thoughts and opinions. “Ah, no - no he doesn’t.”
Ronon crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at him.
“Look,” Rodney tried to bluff anyway. “If John knew about this little, er - visit - he’d want to be here, too. And then there would be three of us and it would just look really suspicious.”
“And it’s not suspicious now?”
Rodney glanced around the room, then back to Carson’s open door. “Not really?” he said, annoyed that his voice came out as a strangled squeak instead of the firm statement he imagined. Damnit, he thought. Can’t the man stop asking questions long enough for me to look around a bit?
He began to feel nervous as Ronon raked him with a suspicious gaze. Then the man glanced around and asked, “So what are you looking for?”
“C.S.I.,” Rodney said.
“Seaessaye?” Ronon repeated. “Never heard of them. Some sort of insect?”
Rodney gave an exasperated snort as he shake of his head. When was he ever going to learn that people in the Pegasus Galaxy had no sense of absurd television? “No - C.S.I., Crime Scene Investigation,” he explained, as patient as he could muster under the clandestine circumstances of their discussion.
“There was a crime in here?” Ronon asked. “The doctor’s heart attack?”
“Well, no, not really - not that,” Rodney said, distracted as he poked around in closets and shelves, looking for clues to something he couldn’t explain. “But there might have been a crime, and this might have been the scene of it. So we’re investigating.”
“We?” Ronon repeated.
Rodney gave an exasperated sigh. “Fine, technically? Me,” he snarked. “I’m looking for evidence that something forced Carson to hurt himself.”
Ronon stared at him, and from his expression, Rodney wondered whether the man was following what he was talking about. He wasn’t really the walking carpet Rodney had first believed, but just the cultural gulf alone was the root of many a misunderstanding, sometimes even amusing misunderstandings. Or so Rodney had always hoped.
He decided to try to explain. “Look,” he said. “It’s like when you do your Runner thing, you know? Look around, look for something out of the ordinary, try to figure out what it means - is it what you’re tracking, or is it from something tracking you?”
“Oh,” Ronon said.
“Yeah - oh,” Rodney snarked, feeling his temper get the better of him. “So can we stop with the questions so I can get on with it?”
“Yeah,” Ronon said.
“Good,” Rodney said. “Because I’m looking for something - anything - that might be out of the ordinary.”
“You mean like this?” Ronon asked, standing near Carson’s desk and dangling something from a finger.
Rodney stepped forward to examine the item. About arm’s length, thick as a pinkie finger, black, and braided. He touched it. Silky texture. Nothing like that was ever used in the infirmary, and Rodney couldn’t think of a single item of clothing that Carson had brought with them to Atlantis that could possibly require such a unique cord to fasten it. He gulped, eyes wide.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Like that.”
End Part XX
Czech, in order of appearance:
ne - no