Fic: Puzzling Evidence (Part XXXI), NC-17, Lorne/Zelenka by inkscribe
Title: Puzzling Evidence (Part XXXI)
Author: inkscribe
Pairings: Lorne/Zelenka
Kink: mild D/s, bondage, spanking
Warnings: none
Promises: No pre-Sunday canon characters are permanently harmed in the making of this fic. EVER.
Angst-o-meter: deci-angst (moderate)
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~4600 (this part)
Spoilers: none (this part)
Locations: atlantiskink, welovezelenka, slashing_lorne, sgaauwtptbdfu, notmcshep, my LJ
Feedback: yes, please!
Summary: What we see is not always what it seems.
Chapter Summary: Confined.
New to this WIP? Check out the Puzzling Evidence chapter index! Please remember to read the header block of each chapter for related spoiler alerts, warnings, and notes.
Author's Notes: Real life continues to remain mostly less, rather than more, pleasant. Accordingly, I have a chapter for you today, but it will be at least a week until the next one can be posted. :-( Hopefully this one is enough to tide folks over for a few days. :-)
On the bright side, we’ve got some Czech back! Yay!
Thank-yous to my beta mice1900, who as always is a huge help; any errors remaining are most definitely mine. Thank you also to my Czech-beta, the fabulous i-icie. :-)
I should also mention that Puzzling Evidence is an AU (see Promises, above).
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is not mine; please don’t sue, we’ll both regret it in the morning.
Marc sat close to Radek, reading. He heard a soft sigh, and glanced to his lover’s dozing form, curled in the furs, his dishevelled hair and part of his forehead all that was visible. Marc smiled and reached a hand to smooth Radek’s hair, petting him softly.
So peaceful, Marc thought. Innocent. He marvelled at how much like a child Radek looked now, his body relaxed, no hint of nightmares imagined or remembered preying on his mind. The last two days had been gruelling, and Marc hoped - no, believed - they were truly through the worst.
Carson had it no better, Marc thought. The man felt guilty for prompting Radek to share so much of his story, felt guilty for not being closer to help when Radek broke under the weight of the spoken memories. Felt guilty for needing to keep him medicated after, simply to calm him enough to rest.
Two days now - for two days Radek had done little more than sleep, drink tea, and occasionally relieve himself. And only now he looked peaceful in sleep; only now he could sleep without an injection to relax him first.
Marc carried his own guilt. He felt foolish for missing what was, in retrospect, a clear sign that things were not only not any better with his lover, but even worse. The scientist had never been aggressive with him in sex, and while Marc lost himself in enjoyment, he failed to think at how entirely out of character his lover’s behaviour was - and one tiny gasp of pain was all it took to cause Radek to shatter.
Keras was first to arrive, bursting into the guesthouse and rushing directly to Marc’s aid. The young man made no comment on their state of nudity, their obvious entanglement from something … intimate. He simply asked, “What can I do?”
Marc didn’t really know. Radek was thrashing then, struggling hard against Marc’s arms, crying and shivering with open fear. He was so frantic that despite their differences in strength, Marc was having significant trouble holding Radek. Keras knelt close and … helped. He spoke gently to Radek even as he worked with Marc to hold the struggling man securely. Marc wondered at it for only a moment before realising that the guesthouse was high above the ground - if Radek were to bolt from the room, he was in very real danger of severe injury or death if he fell. Marc wasn’t confident that Radek was in any condition to think about his surroundings, not to mention coordinate the cautious descent the rope ladders demanded.
Carson arrived then too, and in short order gave Radek an injection. He was soon insensate, slack-muscled and limp in Keras and Marc’s arms. Keras had glanced at Radek, then looked at the two men. “It is good that you came to us. Doctor Zelenka needs healing,” he said softly. “Doctor Beckett needs healing.” He held Marc’s eyes. “You need healing.”
The healing, Marc hoped, was finally beginning. The first hours after Keras and Carson helped subdue Radek, the man murmured and babbled in a strange mix of Czech and English. Just as before, he repeated one phrase more often than anything else, “ Prosím, neopouštěj mně.”
By the end of the next day, Marc was reasonably certain he knew what it meant. “I won’t leave you, Radek,” he said.
His voice muzzy with sedative, Marc still heard the bitter sadness loud and clear when Radek replied with, “ Přeju si, aby náš vztah byl skutečný, ale vím, že teď, když víš pravdu, se stratí.”
Marc held back his own tears at that. “I can’t understand your words, Radek,” he’d told his lover. “Not all of them.” He leaned close and pressed a kiss to Radek’s temple. “But I know you said now and I know you said the truth and no matter what you think the truth is, the truth is that I love you, and I am not leaving you.”
Radek drifted again into sleep, watched over by Marc.
Keras and Carson brought food and a special tea, and when Radek next awoke, he had sipped at the tea without looking at anyone else, without seeing the meaningful glances that passed among the three men watching him. After Radek relieved himself, Marc tucked him back into the furs and he was soon asleep.
“The tea also helps with sleep,” Keras explained.
In the dark hours before dawn, the breakthrough they all hoped for came. Radek had awoken, had panicked slightly in the darkness. While Marc and Carson held him and kept him safe, Keras lit the little lamps, and at that moment, Marc had an inspiration.
He hissed sharply. Radek stopped struggling, turning blank eyes toward him. This might work, Marc thought, hope surging inside him. He stood, then hissed again. He watched as Radek’s eyes seemed to focus, as if he were shaking off a hallucination, a nightmare. Please let this work, Marc thought. Radek blinked at Marc, and he hissed a third time.
Radek moved forward and dropped to a kneeling position. Marc saw Carson withdraw only peripherally - he kept his focus entirely on his lover kneeling before him, his position rigid in its perfection.
Marc wanted to reach out and caress Radek’s hair, but he didn’t. He stood, tall and unmoving, and stared into Radek’s upturned face for long moments, then began the slow circling that was part of their lovemaking ritual. He made a great show of inspecting the man before him, overtly raking his eyes along his lover’s body.
He stopped in front of Radek, frowning slightly. Radek’s eyes went wide and for a moment Marc thought he might cry again, but Marc moved quickly to forestall that. He clicked his fingers. Radek stared up at him for a moment, uncomprehending. Marc clicked his fingers a second time, and Radek leapt to attention before him.
“Strip,” Marc said, using a tone more in line with his military command than he would normally use with Radek. This time, Radek did not hesitate - he removed the loose shirt and sweats he had slept in, shucking them quickly and tossing them aside before standing again, tall and still before Marc.
Normally, Marc and Radek would begin touching at this point, but nothing about their time together on Kidkill was normal, and Marc felt rising confidence that he needed to emphasise his point to Radek by as direct means as possible.
Marc hissed. Radek blinked for a moment before dropping again to kneel before him. “Good,” Marc praised, and this time he stepped forward, standing close and reaching a hand to stroke his fingers through Radek’s hair. He watched as Radek relaxed into the touch, leaned his head against Marc’s thigh. “Very good,” Marc said, his voice soft and warm.
He stepped back, looking down at Radek, watching his face closely. Radek did not flinch. Marc smiled warmly at him, then re-enacted the circling inspection, looking up and down Radek’s form as he stepped around his kneeling form. Finally, he stopped again in front of Radek. He smiled down into his lover’s eyes, eyes that, for the first time in many, many hours, expressed something other than abject despair. Marc reached forward and caressed his face.
“Keras,” Marc said. “Do you have some thongs I may have?” He kept his eyes trained on Radek as he spoke. He heard Carson clear his throat, followed by Keras.
“Yes,” Keras replied.
“Could you bring them to me now?” Marc asked.
“Yes,” Keras said. “How many should I fetch?”
Marc considered for a moment. “At least three, please.”
“I’ll be back in a few moments,” Keras said, and Marc heard him leave the guesthouse.
Marc continued to caress Radek’s face, still holding his lover’s gaze.
“Carson?” he said. He heard Carson clear his throat again. “Aye?”
“Radek will be chilled soon. Could you wrap a fur around him, please? I don’t want him to break position,” he said.
He soon saw Carson kneel close and wrap Radek. Radek did not flinch, and Marc began to caress his hair.
Keras returned with the thongs and handed them to Marc. Marc did not look at the young man as he accepted them, draping them over his own neck. “Thank you,” he said, continuing to hold Radek’s gaze.
He heard the two men make as though to leave. “Carson, Keras? Please stay,” he said.
“I don’t think that would be appro -” Carson began.
“Nothing is going to happen here that cannot be seen by friends,” Marc said. He smiled again at Radek, lengthened the caresses of his hair to soothe the slight worry he saw creep into his eyes, then broke eye contact.
“I told you before, Carson, back at Atlantis. We’re very private people” he said, looking at the doctor. “Neither of us are exhibitionists.”
Carson nodded. “Aye, I remember,” he said, his voice strained.
“So please stay?” Marc asked.
“I’m not comfortable with watching you two make love,” Carson whispered.
“You’re not going to,” Marc assured him. “I’m not interested in having an audience for that, either.” He smiled at Keras as the younger man relaxed his own unspoken worry. “I want to - to try something. For Radek. And I want you two to witness it - please.”
Carson and Keras exchanged glances, then both nodded at Marc. “Aye, we’ll stay.”
“Thank you.”
Marc returned his gaze to Radek, still looking intently at Marc’s face, still hopeful, with only a hint of worry in his eyes. Marc leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead.
“I love you,” he said.
Radek closed his eyes, as if he were trying to hold the words in to his body.
“Open your eyes,” Marc said softly. Radek opened his eyes. “Give me your wrists.” Radek lifted his arms to Marc, holding them in front of him as though in supplication.
“I love you, Radek,” he said, his voice soft and warm. “I won’t leave you.” Marc slid one of the thongs from his neck, securing Radek’s wrists together. “I don’t want you to leave me,” he said as he tied the thong securely.
“Keras and Carson? They love you,” Marc continued. “They are good friends.” He clicked his fingers, and Radek rose, standing tall and at attention, naked again now that the fur slid to the floor. Marc knelt at Radek’s feet, drew a second thong from his neck.
“Even Rodney and John - they love you, too,” Marc continued as he wrapped the thong snugly around one ankle. “I can’t see either of them rushing to protect me from you, you know,” he chuckled wryly.
Marc drew the last thong from his neck and wrapped it around Radek’s other ankle. “No one here is going to tell anyone what you’ve told us this week,” he said. “But even if the entire city somehow knew every detail of what you went through? Your friends would still love you. I still love you.”
Marc stood again, face-to-face with his lover. “Someday I hope you’ll explain to me what happened after you were arrested,” he said, smiling into Radek’s face, his lover’s eyes full of wonder. “Or, at least, how it is you came to be a PhD instead of someone breaking rocks in a quarry someplace.”
He brushed his lips gently across Radek’s forehead. “But not until you’re ready to tell me, okay?” he said. “And whatever that story holds, I want you to know that it isn’t going to make me love you any less, either. Nothing can do that. For as long as you want me, then you’re mine.”
Radek gave a slow, shy smile. “ Doufám, že se mnou zůstaneš, miláčku.” His voice was a cracked whisper.
Marc smiled back. “I only understood miláčku,” he said, leaning his forehead to touch against his lover’s just as in the Athosian greeting. “And you are my miláčku, as I am yours.”
Radek cleared his throat. “I said I hope you will stay with me,” he said softly.
“Always,” Marc said. “For as long as you’ll have me.”
Marc nearly shivered in joy at the smile that broke across Radek’s face, warm and - alive. A smile that reached his eyes, a smile that came through his eyes.
Marc grasped Radek’s shoulders and slid his hands down his lover’s arms, holding his bound hands. “Now, miláčku,” he said. “Let’s get some sleep.”
Now, hours later, Radek finally slept without the aid of injections or medicinal teas. He slept curled into their furs, his wrists still bound together, his ankles still wrapped in the thongs. His body finally soft and relieved of the tension eating away at him.
Marc’s relief at the change was palatable, he knew. He just hoped he could get a handle on the guilt he felt over everything he had gotten wrong. He knew it wasn’t fair to blame himself, but it didn’t stop him any more than it stopped Carson from doing the same.
Keras saw it. Keras, young in years but wise beyond anything Marc might have guessed, explained to them that they were to join him on a journey as soon as Radek was well enough to navigate the ladder safely and walk unassisted. Keras had explained to the three men that the hunters of their world had their own rituals, and that the elders agreed with Keras that the three Lanteans should be included in one of them as part of their healing. Keras would only tell them that it was long and involved, but had promised Radek with a chuckle that it would not involve braided hair. He also promised Radek that any pigments used would be easily washed away.
Pushing aside his churning thoughts, Marc slid into the furs to snuggle with Radek, pleased to feel the man respond immediately, even in sleep, by relaxing in to Marc’s arms.
oOo
Caldwell sat in his command chair on the Daedalus, frowning slightly. How dare Weir try to challenge my authority, he raged inside his mind. Surely she doesn’t believe she has any say in this matter. She clearly didn’t understand a thing about military command, and if she thought he was going to back down to some - some civilian administrator, doctorate or no, she was in for a surprise.
He thought for a few moments longer, then keyed Hermiod. “Hermiod? I’d like you to monitor both Doctor McKay and Colonel Sheppard’s quarters until such time someone arrives.”
The Asgard’s voice was nonplussed and toneless in his ear.
“Yes, that’s correct - both quarters. When you have a life sign, then beam the individual directly to the brig.” The three of them could discuss the matter further, at their leisure, while the Daedalus made its way back to Earth.
oOo
Radek dreamt. He was warm and safe and held tightly, accepted and wanted. He tried to roll over, and realised that he was not truly dreaming, but revelling in the sensation of his lover wrapped around him, both wrapped in warm furs. He peered at Marc’s face, and smiled a small, shy smile. That this man, his miláčku, still wanted him, still loved him - he could only feel wonder at Marc’s perseverance.
He felt shamefaced when he thought of his constant panic attacks, his ongoing inability to deal with something he thought was long past, long buried but for the scars he carried until so recently. He had never considered that scars need not be visible to reopen old wounds. Ano, he knew he still cried sometimes, in the privacy of their quarters. When the stress of work or life became too much, he always had - only until Marc came into his life, he had cried alone. Marc amazed him time and time again when he helped centre Radek rather than push him away in disgust or leave him to find a man more in control of himself, more a real man.
Radek shivered slightly, realising that yet again he was allowing Petr to dictate who he was, what he was. I am fortunate that only Petr ended up dead, Radek reminded himself, allowing himself a moment to remember the flashes of horror that passed before his eyes. He might just as easily played his twisted games on me, on my body. He focused again on Marc’s sleeping face. He thought before that Marc helped him find inner strength, and even now he did not doubt that. But Marc also knows when to be strong for me, he thought, wriggling his bound hands slightly.
Marc acted on instinct that night, calling Radek to their ritual, demanding obedience with slight sounds and approving smiles. Radek remembered those moments almost as though he were emerging from a fog - that Marc’s call drew him out from the pain and fear and confusion and loss and brought him toward something stable, something he knew. Something he trusted.
Radek blinked. He could trust Marc. Trust. He could trust Marc to be who he was. He could trust him not to play twisted mind games and make unreasonable demands. He could trust Marc to love him. “ Miláčku,” he whispered with a soft smile.
Apparently asleep, Radek was surprised to hear Marc reply. “Hmmmm?”
Radek wriggled closer to his lover, tucking himself into the space under his chin. “I was only thinking of my miláčku,” he whispered.
Marc hummed again and kissed Radek lightly on the forehead. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you,” Radek murmured against Marc’s throat. His lover squeezed him slightly with one arm, and they drifted off to sleep in the warm furs.
oOo
“Carson, do you have any painkiller?” Marc asked. “I thought I’d feel better after our last snooze, but this headache I’ve been growing? It just gets worse.”
“What’s that?” Carson asked looking up from his book. He so rarely had downtime simply to enjoy something without the pressures of deadlines or the dying.
“Painkiller,” Marc repeated. “I’ve got a headache.”
“Oh, aye,” Carson said, placing his book aside and reaching for his pack. “I’ve got some here.”
“Thanks,” Marc said. “I really hoped it would be gone when I woke up, but if anything, it’s worse.”
“Aye, sometimes that’s how it is, especially sinus headaches,” Carson said. “You get those sometimes, if I recall correctly.”
“Yeah, though this one doesn’t feel quite like that,” Marc said.
Carson dug through his medicine stock until he found the painkiller. He retrieved a four tablets, frowning slightly.
“I’ve got a killer headache myself, actually,” he admitted to Marc as he passed over only two to the man. “It’s not so bad when I’m reading, but moving about, speaking - well, then it hurts like a right bugger.”
Marc nodded. “Yeah, that’s how I’d say this one is, too. If I’m still, it’s not too bad. But if I move around, then it gets uncomfortable fast.”
“Huh,” Carson said, then swallowed his own dose. “Funny we’d come down with one at the same time like that.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Although I suppose there could be a change in air pressure that’s bothering us. Radek?”
“Yes?” Radek said, reclining sleepily in the pile of furs the two men shared for a bed.
“How’s your head? Do you need some painkiller?” Carson asked.
“No thank you, Carson,” Radek said. “I don’t have a headache.”
Carson smiled as Marc moved back to sit next to Radek, holding the scientist in his arms. He was pleased to see Radek responding to Marc’s rather unconventional … treatment, as it were. He’d known a handful of people who survived traumas as psychologically debilitating as Radek’s, and he knew from their experiences just how healing love could be.
Radek was doing remarkably better, and Carson dared hope that it wasn’t merely another blip of improvement in an otherwise sad situation - he hoped for both their sakes’ that Radek was on the mend. Carson wondered at the thongs, still firmly wrapped around Radek’s wrists. That something so simple might be able to calm someone so distraught was food for thought, and Carson intended to pursue those thoughts more thoroughly once they got home to Atlantis.
Pain surged through Carson’s head just as he heard a sharp gasp from Marc.
“Marc?” he heard Radek ask. “What is wrong?”
Marc didn’t answer, just as Carson, at that moment, was in too much pain to speak. Then suddenly, as quickly as it came, the surge melted away, the pain returning to its previous level.
Carson raised his head to look at Marc, his own confusion reflected on the other man’s face. Radek glanced between them, worried. “Carson? Marc? What’s going on?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” the men said simultaneously. Marc chuckled for a moment, but Carson frowned.
“It’s almost as if we’re sharing the same headache,” Carson said. “Which might make sense if it were a change in the weather coming, but Radek seems unaffected.”
“Allergies?” Marc offered.
“I don’t have any,” Carson replied, still frowning. “Last I checked, I don’t recall you or Radek having any, either. I suppose I could check the database once we get back to Atlan -”
The pain surged again, flooding his mind with agony and leaving him shaking and speechless for a moment, his hands clenched into fists at his temples, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He pried open his eyes to observe Marc similarly in pain, Radek stroking him and speaking soft words of comfort.
“Carson, what is it?” Radek asked, the tone of his voice betraying how little it would take to push him back into panic.
“I don’t know, son,” Carson said. “I just assumed I had a tension headache or some such these last few hours. But this isn’t anything like that.”
“No, it’s worse,” Marc said. “It’s almost like there’s a loud sound or something, but I can’t really hear it, just feel it.”
Carson nodded. “Aye, that describes how my head feels, too.”
Radek frowned at them both. “A sound? But then why can I hear nothing?”
“I don’t mean a real sound, love,” Marc said. “Just that it feels like I’m hearing something painfully loud.”
Carson blinked in surprise as a thought formed in his mind. Radek wasn’t affected, but Marc and he were - terribly. Radek doesn’t have the gene, Carson thought. But Marc and I do.
“I think it’s something to do with the gene,” Carson offered.
Radek nodded. “Possibly. But the sudden surges of pain?”
“I’ll need to do some research when we get back to At-” Carson began, stopped by a blast of agony that ripped through his brain.
When Carson opened his eyes again, he saw Marc staring at him as they both realised precisely what was happening. Marc reached for Radek’s wrists and began to unbind them.
“What are you doing?” Radek asked, his voice still normal but still so close to the edge.
“We have to go,” Marc explained. “The headache? It’s not really a headache. It’s an alarm. There’s something wrong at the Ancient shield generator.”
“But?” Radek said, glancing down at his wrists.
“I’m not leaving you alone, Radek,” Marc said. “You need to be able to climb down with us.”
“ Ano,” Radek said. “I understand now.” He frowned for a moment. “But what if a pain surge happens on the ladder? It could kill you both!”
Carson shook his head. “I don’t think it’ll happen again soon,” he said. “I think that was just its way of getting our attention.”
Radek and Marc both harumphed in tandem. “Stupid Ancient technology,” he heard Radek murmur under his breath. Carson chuckled.
“Aye, well, we’ve all had enough of those sorts of experiences on this mission that I can’t disagree with you,” he said.
His wrists now wrapped separately as his ankles, Radek slid from the furs to dress. “I hope it is nothing serious,” he declared as he hunted for his own pack. “I did not bring a large number of tools for this visit.”
“I’m sure we can find an off-switch or something once we get there,” Marc said. “Right now, we’ll just check it out and see what’s happening.”
“You should hope we can find an off-switch,” Radek said. “I do not think you two want to have three more days of this headache if we have to wait for me to get more equipment from Atlantis.”
Carson released the breath he didn’t realise he was holding. Radek had said Atlantis and nothing bad had happened - the pain continued, yes, but it didn’t spike as it had when Carson spoke or thought the word previously.
Carson led the two men outside as soon as Radek was dressed and ready to go, his daypack over Marc’s shoulder. “Let’s get this little mystery settled then, shall we?” Carson said, as they began their climb down to the forest floor.
oOo
Sergeant Fields ran double-time through the corridor toward the lower laboratory Doctor McKay was currently hiding within. He had routed the call from Hermiod earlier in the day, ensuring that both Doctor McKay and Colonel Sheppard would find places to be other than their own quarters for the foreseeable future. He smiled to himself at the Asgard’s calm assurances to the two men - only McKay would manage to have a partner in crime who wasn’t even human.
Speaking of crimes, he smirked to himself as he overrode the lab door’s security code. The man inside jerked around at the sound.
“Oh,” McKay exclaimed. “It’s just you, Sergeant.”
“Just me?” Fields asked, surprised.
McKay looked somewhat stricken. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m not trying to be rude. I wasn’t expecting anybody down here.”
Fields brushed it off with a smile. Classic McKay, he thought. “Not a problem. You need to get to the gateroom ASAP with your toolkit and a couple computer tablets.”
“An emergency?” McKay asked. “Why didn’t you comm me?”
“It’s Radek,” Fields said.
“Radek …” McKay repeated.
“Yes,” Fields nodded. “I thought it best I tell you in person. He needs your help. We’ll establish a wormhole in 25 minutes, and you need to be there.”
“What?” McKay exclaimed. “What’s going on?”
“I really don’t know any specifics, sir,” Fields said. “He said there’s been an accident and he needs you to fix it. Major Lorne and Doctor Beckett are trapped.”
End Part XXXI
Author: inkscribe
Pairings: Lorne/Zelenka
Kink: mild D/s, bondage, spanking
Warnings: none
Promises: No pre-Sunday canon characters are permanently harmed in the making of this fic. EVER.
Angst-o-meter: deci-angst (moderate)
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~4600 (this part)
Spoilers: none (this part)
Locations: atlantiskink, welovezelenka, slashing_lorne, sgaauwtptbdfu, notmcshep, my LJ
Feedback: yes, please!
Summary: What we see is not always what it seems.
Chapter Summary: Confined.
New to this WIP? Check out the Puzzling Evidence chapter index! Please remember to read the header block of each chapter for related spoiler alerts, warnings, and notes.
Author's Notes: Real life continues to remain mostly less, rather than more, pleasant. Accordingly, I have a chapter for you today, but it will be at least a week until the next one can be posted. :-( Hopefully this one is enough to tide folks over for a few days. :-)
On the bright side, we’ve got some Czech back! Yay!
Thank-yous to my beta mice1900, who as always is a huge help; any errors remaining are most definitely mine. Thank you also to my Czech-beta, the fabulous i-icie. :-)
I should also mention that Puzzling Evidence is an AU (see Promises, above).
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise is not mine; please don’t sue, we’ll both regret it in the morning.
Marc sat close to Radek, reading. He heard a soft sigh, and glanced to his lover’s dozing form, curled in the furs, his dishevelled hair and part of his forehead all that was visible. Marc smiled and reached a hand to smooth Radek’s hair, petting him softly.
So peaceful, Marc thought. Innocent. He marvelled at how much like a child Radek looked now, his body relaxed, no hint of nightmares imagined or remembered preying on his mind. The last two days had been gruelling, and Marc hoped - no, believed - they were truly through the worst.
Carson had it no better, Marc thought. The man felt guilty for prompting Radek to share so much of his story, felt guilty for not being closer to help when Radek broke under the weight of the spoken memories. Felt guilty for needing to keep him medicated after, simply to calm him enough to rest.
Two days now - for two days Radek had done little more than sleep, drink tea, and occasionally relieve himself. And only now he looked peaceful in sleep; only now he could sleep without an injection to relax him first.
Marc carried his own guilt. He felt foolish for missing what was, in retrospect, a clear sign that things were not only not any better with his lover, but even worse. The scientist had never been aggressive with him in sex, and while Marc lost himself in enjoyment, he failed to think at how entirely out of character his lover’s behaviour was - and one tiny gasp of pain was all it took to cause Radek to shatter.
Keras was first to arrive, bursting into the guesthouse and rushing directly to Marc’s aid. The young man made no comment on their state of nudity, their obvious entanglement from something … intimate. He simply asked, “What can I do?”
Marc didn’t really know. Radek was thrashing then, struggling hard against Marc’s arms, crying and shivering with open fear. He was so frantic that despite their differences in strength, Marc was having significant trouble holding Radek. Keras knelt close and … helped. He spoke gently to Radek even as he worked with Marc to hold the struggling man securely. Marc wondered at it for only a moment before realising that the guesthouse was high above the ground - if Radek were to bolt from the room, he was in very real danger of severe injury or death if he fell. Marc wasn’t confident that Radek was in any condition to think about his surroundings, not to mention coordinate the cautious descent the rope ladders demanded.
Carson arrived then too, and in short order gave Radek an injection. He was soon insensate, slack-muscled and limp in Keras and Marc’s arms. Keras had glanced at Radek, then looked at the two men. “It is good that you came to us. Doctor Zelenka needs healing,” he said softly. “Doctor Beckett needs healing.” He held Marc’s eyes. “You need healing.”
The healing, Marc hoped, was finally beginning. The first hours after Keras and Carson helped subdue Radek, the man murmured and babbled in a strange mix of Czech and English. Just as before, he repeated one phrase more often than anything else, “ Prosím, neopouštěj mně.”
By the end of the next day, Marc was reasonably certain he knew what it meant. “I won’t leave you, Radek,” he said.
His voice muzzy with sedative, Marc still heard the bitter sadness loud and clear when Radek replied with, “ Přeju si, aby náš vztah byl skutečný, ale vím, že teď, když víš pravdu, se stratí.”
Marc held back his own tears at that. “I can’t understand your words, Radek,” he’d told his lover. “Not all of them.” He leaned close and pressed a kiss to Radek’s temple. “But I know you said now and I know you said the truth and no matter what you think the truth is, the truth is that I love you, and I am not leaving you.”
Radek drifted again into sleep, watched over by Marc.
Keras and Carson brought food and a special tea, and when Radek next awoke, he had sipped at the tea without looking at anyone else, without seeing the meaningful glances that passed among the three men watching him. After Radek relieved himself, Marc tucked him back into the furs and he was soon asleep.
“The tea also helps with sleep,” Keras explained.
In the dark hours before dawn, the breakthrough they all hoped for came. Radek had awoken, had panicked slightly in the darkness. While Marc and Carson held him and kept him safe, Keras lit the little lamps, and at that moment, Marc had an inspiration.
He hissed sharply. Radek stopped struggling, turning blank eyes toward him. This might work, Marc thought, hope surging inside him. He stood, then hissed again. He watched as Radek’s eyes seemed to focus, as if he were shaking off a hallucination, a nightmare. Please let this work, Marc thought. Radek blinked at Marc, and he hissed a third time.
Radek moved forward and dropped to a kneeling position. Marc saw Carson withdraw only peripherally - he kept his focus entirely on his lover kneeling before him, his position rigid in its perfection.
Marc wanted to reach out and caress Radek’s hair, but he didn’t. He stood, tall and unmoving, and stared into Radek’s upturned face for long moments, then began the slow circling that was part of their lovemaking ritual. He made a great show of inspecting the man before him, overtly raking his eyes along his lover’s body.
He stopped in front of Radek, frowning slightly. Radek’s eyes went wide and for a moment Marc thought he might cry again, but Marc moved quickly to forestall that. He clicked his fingers. Radek stared up at him for a moment, uncomprehending. Marc clicked his fingers a second time, and Radek leapt to attention before him.
“Strip,” Marc said, using a tone more in line with his military command than he would normally use with Radek. This time, Radek did not hesitate - he removed the loose shirt and sweats he had slept in, shucking them quickly and tossing them aside before standing again, tall and still before Marc.
Normally, Marc and Radek would begin touching at this point, but nothing about their time together on Kidkill was normal, and Marc felt rising confidence that he needed to emphasise his point to Radek by as direct means as possible.
Marc hissed. Radek blinked for a moment before dropping again to kneel before him. “Good,” Marc praised, and this time he stepped forward, standing close and reaching a hand to stroke his fingers through Radek’s hair. He watched as Radek relaxed into the touch, leaned his head against Marc’s thigh. “Very good,” Marc said, his voice soft and warm.
He stepped back, looking down at Radek, watching his face closely. Radek did not flinch. Marc smiled warmly at him, then re-enacted the circling inspection, looking up and down Radek’s form as he stepped around his kneeling form. Finally, he stopped again in front of Radek. He smiled down into his lover’s eyes, eyes that, for the first time in many, many hours, expressed something other than abject despair. Marc reached forward and caressed his face.
“Keras,” Marc said. “Do you have some thongs I may have?” He kept his eyes trained on Radek as he spoke. He heard Carson clear his throat, followed by Keras.
“Yes,” Keras replied.
“Could you bring them to me now?” Marc asked.
“Yes,” Keras said. “How many should I fetch?”
Marc considered for a moment. “At least three, please.”
“I’ll be back in a few moments,” Keras said, and Marc heard him leave the guesthouse.
Marc continued to caress Radek’s face, still holding his lover’s gaze.
“Carson?” he said. He heard Carson clear his throat again. “Aye?”
“Radek will be chilled soon. Could you wrap a fur around him, please? I don’t want him to break position,” he said.
He soon saw Carson kneel close and wrap Radek. Radek did not flinch, and Marc began to caress his hair.
Keras returned with the thongs and handed them to Marc. Marc did not look at the young man as he accepted them, draping them over his own neck. “Thank you,” he said, continuing to hold Radek’s gaze.
He heard the two men make as though to leave. “Carson, Keras? Please stay,” he said.
“I don’t think that would be appro -” Carson began.
“Nothing is going to happen here that cannot be seen by friends,” Marc said. He smiled again at Radek, lengthened the caresses of his hair to soothe the slight worry he saw creep into his eyes, then broke eye contact.
“I told you before, Carson, back at Atlantis. We’re very private people” he said, looking at the doctor. “Neither of us are exhibitionists.”
Carson nodded. “Aye, I remember,” he said, his voice strained.
“So please stay?” Marc asked.
“I’m not comfortable with watching you two make love,” Carson whispered.
“You’re not going to,” Marc assured him. “I’m not interested in having an audience for that, either.” He smiled at Keras as the younger man relaxed his own unspoken worry. “I want to - to try something. For Radek. And I want you two to witness it - please.”
Carson and Keras exchanged glances, then both nodded at Marc. “Aye, we’ll stay.”
“Thank you.”
Marc returned his gaze to Radek, still looking intently at Marc’s face, still hopeful, with only a hint of worry in his eyes. Marc leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead.
“I love you,” he said.
Radek closed his eyes, as if he were trying to hold the words in to his body.
“Open your eyes,” Marc said softly. Radek opened his eyes. “Give me your wrists.” Radek lifted his arms to Marc, holding them in front of him as though in supplication.
“I love you, Radek,” he said, his voice soft and warm. “I won’t leave you.” Marc slid one of the thongs from his neck, securing Radek’s wrists together. “I don’t want you to leave me,” he said as he tied the thong securely.
“Keras and Carson? They love you,” Marc continued. “They are good friends.” He clicked his fingers, and Radek rose, standing tall and at attention, naked again now that the fur slid to the floor. Marc knelt at Radek’s feet, drew a second thong from his neck.
“Even Rodney and John - they love you, too,” Marc continued as he wrapped the thong snugly around one ankle. “I can’t see either of them rushing to protect me from you, you know,” he chuckled wryly.
Marc drew the last thong from his neck and wrapped it around Radek’s other ankle. “No one here is going to tell anyone what you’ve told us this week,” he said. “But even if the entire city somehow knew every detail of what you went through? Your friends would still love you. I still love you.”
Marc stood again, face-to-face with his lover. “Someday I hope you’ll explain to me what happened after you were arrested,” he said, smiling into Radek’s face, his lover’s eyes full of wonder. “Or, at least, how it is you came to be a PhD instead of someone breaking rocks in a quarry someplace.”
He brushed his lips gently across Radek’s forehead. “But not until you’re ready to tell me, okay?” he said. “And whatever that story holds, I want you to know that it isn’t going to make me love you any less, either. Nothing can do that. For as long as you want me, then you’re mine.”
Radek gave a slow, shy smile. “ Doufám, že se mnou zůstaneš, miláčku.” His voice was a cracked whisper.
Marc smiled back. “I only understood miláčku,” he said, leaning his forehead to touch against his lover’s just as in the Athosian greeting. “And you are my miláčku, as I am yours.”
Radek cleared his throat. “I said I hope you will stay with me,” he said softly.
“Always,” Marc said. “For as long as you’ll have me.”
Marc nearly shivered in joy at the smile that broke across Radek’s face, warm and - alive. A smile that reached his eyes, a smile that came through his eyes.
Marc grasped Radek’s shoulders and slid his hands down his lover’s arms, holding his bound hands. “Now, miláčku,” he said. “Let’s get some sleep.”
Now, hours later, Radek finally slept without the aid of injections or medicinal teas. He slept curled into their furs, his wrists still bound together, his ankles still wrapped in the thongs. His body finally soft and relieved of the tension eating away at him.
Marc’s relief at the change was palatable, he knew. He just hoped he could get a handle on the guilt he felt over everything he had gotten wrong. He knew it wasn’t fair to blame himself, but it didn’t stop him any more than it stopped Carson from doing the same.
Keras saw it. Keras, young in years but wise beyond anything Marc might have guessed, explained to them that they were to join him on a journey as soon as Radek was well enough to navigate the ladder safely and walk unassisted. Keras had explained to the three men that the hunters of their world had their own rituals, and that the elders agreed with Keras that the three Lanteans should be included in one of them as part of their healing. Keras would only tell them that it was long and involved, but had promised Radek with a chuckle that it would not involve braided hair. He also promised Radek that any pigments used would be easily washed away.
Pushing aside his churning thoughts, Marc slid into the furs to snuggle with Radek, pleased to feel the man respond immediately, even in sleep, by relaxing in to Marc’s arms.
oOo
Caldwell sat in his command chair on the Daedalus, frowning slightly. How dare Weir try to challenge my authority, he raged inside his mind. Surely she doesn’t believe she has any say in this matter. She clearly didn’t understand a thing about military command, and if she thought he was going to back down to some - some civilian administrator, doctorate or no, she was in for a surprise.
He thought for a few moments longer, then keyed Hermiod. “Hermiod? I’d like you to monitor both Doctor McKay and Colonel Sheppard’s quarters until such time someone arrives.”
The Asgard’s voice was nonplussed and toneless in his ear.
“Yes, that’s correct - both quarters. When you have a life sign, then beam the individual directly to the brig.” The three of them could discuss the matter further, at their leisure, while the Daedalus made its way back to Earth.
oOo
Radek dreamt. He was warm and safe and held tightly, accepted and wanted. He tried to roll over, and realised that he was not truly dreaming, but revelling in the sensation of his lover wrapped around him, both wrapped in warm furs. He peered at Marc’s face, and smiled a small, shy smile. That this man, his miláčku, still wanted him, still loved him - he could only feel wonder at Marc’s perseverance.
He felt shamefaced when he thought of his constant panic attacks, his ongoing inability to deal with something he thought was long past, long buried but for the scars he carried until so recently. He had never considered that scars need not be visible to reopen old wounds. Ano, he knew he still cried sometimes, in the privacy of their quarters. When the stress of work or life became too much, he always had - only until Marc came into his life, he had cried alone. Marc amazed him time and time again when he helped centre Radek rather than push him away in disgust or leave him to find a man more in control of himself, more a real man.
Radek shivered slightly, realising that yet again he was allowing Petr to dictate who he was, what he was. I am fortunate that only Petr ended up dead, Radek reminded himself, allowing himself a moment to remember the flashes of horror that passed before his eyes. He might just as easily played his twisted games on me, on my body. He focused again on Marc’s sleeping face. He thought before that Marc helped him find inner strength, and even now he did not doubt that. But Marc also knows when to be strong for me, he thought, wriggling his bound hands slightly.
Marc acted on instinct that night, calling Radek to their ritual, demanding obedience with slight sounds and approving smiles. Radek remembered those moments almost as though he were emerging from a fog - that Marc’s call drew him out from the pain and fear and confusion and loss and brought him toward something stable, something he knew. Something he trusted.
Radek blinked. He could trust Marc. Trust. He could trust Marc to be who he was. He could trust him not to play twisted mind games and make unreasonable demands. He could trust Marc to love him. “ Miláčku,” he whispered with a soft smile.
Apparently asleep, Radek was surprised to hear Marc reply. “Hmmmm?”
Radek wriggled closer to his lover, tucking himself into the space under his chin. “I was only thinking of my miláčku,” he whispered.
Marc hummed again and kissed Radek lightly on the forehead. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you,” Radek murmured against Marc’s throat. His lover squeezed him slightly with one arm, and they drifted off to sleep in the warm furs.
oOo
“Carson, do you have any painkiller?” Marc asked. “I thought I’d feel better after our last snooze, but this headache I’ve been growing? It just gets worse.”
“What’s that?” Carson asked looking up from his book. He so rarely had downtime simply to enjoy something without the pressures of deadlines or the dying.
“Painkiller,” Marc repeated. “I’ve got a headache.”
“Oh, aye,” Carson said, placing his book aside and reaching for his pack. “I’ve got some here.”
“Thanks,” Marc said. “I really hoped it would be gone when I woke up, but if anything, it’s worse.”
“Aye, sometimes that’s how it is, especially sinus headaches,” Carson said. “You get those sometimes, if I recall correctly.”
“Yeah, though this one doesn’t feel quite like that,” Marc said.
Carson dug through his medicine stock until he found the painkiller. He retrieved a four tablets, frowning slightly.
“I’ve got a killer headache myself, actually,” he admitted to Marc as he passed over only two to the man. “It’s not so bad when I’m reading, but moving about, speaking - well, then it hurts like a right bugger.”
Marc nodded. “Yeah, that’s how I’d say this one is, too. If I’m still, it’s not too bad. But if I move around, then it gets uncomfortable fast.”
“Huh,” Carson said, then swallowed his own dose. “Funny we’d come down with one at the same time like that.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Although I suppose there could be a change in air pressure that’s bothering us. Radek?”
“Yes?” Radek said, reclining sleepily in the pile of furs the two men shared for a bed.
“How’s your head? Do you need some painkiller?” Carson asked.
“No thank you, Carson,” Radek said. “I don’t have a headache.”
Carson smiled as Marc moved back to sit next to Radek, holding the scientist in his arms. He was pleased to see Radek responding to Marc’s rather unconventional … treatment, as it were. He’d known a handful of people who survived traumas as psychologically debilitating as Radek’s, and he knew from their experiences just how healing love could be.
Radek was doing remarkably better, and Carson dared hope that it wasn’t merely another blip of improvement in an otherwise sad situation - he hoped for both their sakes’ that Radek was on the mend. Carson wondered at the thongs, still firmly wrapped around Radek’s wrists. That something so simple might be able to calm someone so distraught was food for thought, and Carson intended to pursue those thoughts more thoroughly once they got home to Atlantis.
Pain surged through Carson’s head just as he heard a sharp gasp from Marc.
“Marc?” he heard Radek ask. “What is wrong?”
Marc didn’t answer, just as Carson, at that moment, was in too much pain to speak. Then suddenly, as quickly as it came, the surge melted away, the pain returning to its previous level.
Carson raised his head to look at Marc, his own confusion reflected on the other man’s face. Radek glanced between them, worried. “Carson? Marc? What’s going on?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” the men said simultaneously. Marc chuckled for a moment, but Carson frowned.
“It’s almost as if we’re sharing the same headache,” Carson said. “Which might make sense if it were a change in the weather coming, but Radek seems unaffected.”
“Allergies?” Marc offered.
“I don’t have any,” Carson replied, still frowning. “Last I checked, I don’t recall you or Radek having any, either. I suppose I could check the database once we get back to Atlan -”
The pain surged again, flooding his mind with agony and leaving him shaking and speechless for a moment, his hands clenched into fists at his temples, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He pried open his eyes to observe Marc similarly in pain, Radek stroking him and speaking soft words of comfort.
“Carson, what is it?” Radek asked, the tone of his voice betraying how little it would take to push him back into panic.
“I don’t know, son,” Carson said. “I just assumed I had a tension headache or some such these last few hours. But this isn’t anything like that.”
“No, it’s worse,” Marc said. “It’s almost like there’s a loud sound or something, but I can’t really hear it, just feel it.”
Carson nodded. “Aye, that describes how my head feels, too.”
Radek frowned at them both. “A sound? But then why can I hear nothing?”
“I don’t mean a real sound, love,” Marc said. “Just that it feels like I’m hearing something painfully loud.”
Carson blinked in surprise as a thought formed in his mind. Radek wasn’t affected, but Marc and he were - terribly. Radek doesn’t have the gene, Carson thought. But Marc and I do.
“I think it’s something to do with the gene,” Carson offered.
Radek nodded. “Possibly. But the sudden surges of pain?”
“I’ll need to do some research when we get back to At-” Carson began, stopped by a blast of agony that ripped through his brain.
When Carson opened his eyes again, he saw Marc staring at him as they both realised precisely what was happening. Marc reached for Radek’s wrists and began to unbind them.
“What are you doing?” Radek asked, his voice still normal but still so close to the edge.
“We have to go,” Marc explained. “The headache? It’s not really a headache. It’s an alarm. There’s something wrong at the Ancient shield generator.”
“But?” Radek said, glancing down at his wrists.
“I’m not leaving you alone, Radek,” Marc said. “You need to be able to climb down with us.”
“ Ano,” Radek said. “I understand now.” He frowned for a moment. “But what if a pain surge happens on the ladder? It could kill you both!”
Carson shook his head. “I don’t think it’ll happen again soon,” he said. “I think that was just its way of getting our attention.”
Radek and Marc both harumphed in tandem. “Stupid Ancient technology,” he heard Radek murmur under his breath. Carson chuckled.
“Aye, well, we’ve all had enough of those sorts of experiences on this mission that I can’t disagree with you,” he said.
His wrists now wrapped separately as his ankles, Radek slid from the furs to dress. “I hope it is nothing serious,” he declared as he hunted for his own pack. “I did not bring a large number of tools for this visit.”
“I’m sure we can find an off-switch or something once we get there,” Marc said. “Right now, we’ll just check it out and see what’s happening.”
“You should hope we can find an off-switch,” Radek said. “I do not think you two want to have three more days of this headache if we have to wait for me to get more equipment from Atlantis.”
Carson released the breath he didn’t realise he was holding. Radek had said Atlantis and nothing bad had happened - the pain continued, yes, but it didn’t spike as it had when Carson spoke or thought the word previously.
Carson led the two men outside as soon as Radek was dressed and ready to go, his daypack over Marc’s shoulder. “Let’s get this little mystery settled then, shall we?” Carson said, as they began their climb down to the forest floor.
oOo
Sergeant Fields ran double-time through the corridor toward the lower laboratory Doctor McKay was currently hiding within. He had routed the call from Hermiod earlier in the day, ensuring that both Doctor McKay and Colonel Sheppard would find places to be other than their own quarters for the foreseeable future. He smiled to himself at the Asgard’s calm assurances to the two men - only McKay would manage to have a partner in crime who wasn’t even human.
Speaking of crimes, he smirked to himself as he overrode the lab door’s security code. The man inside jerked around at the sound.
“Oh,” McKay exclaimed. “It’s just you, Sergeant.”
“Just me?” Fields asked, surprised.
McKay looked somewhat stricken. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m not trying to be rude. I wasn’t expecting anybody down here.”
Fields brushed it off with a smile. Classic McKay, he thought. “Not a problem. You need to get to the gateroom ASAP with your toolkit and a couple computer tablets.”
“An emergency?” McKay asked. “Why didn’t you comm me?”
“It’s Radek,” Fields said.
“Radek …” McKay repeated.
“Yes,” Fields nodded. “I thought it best I tell you in person. He needs your help. We’ll establish a wormhole in 25 minutes, and you need to be there.”
“What?” McKay exclaimed. “What’s going on?”
“I really don’t know any specifics, sir,” Fields said. “He said there’s been an accident and he needs you to fix it. Major Lorne and Doctor Beckett are trapped.”
End Part XXXI