When In Doubt..
.. go to sleep. =3
it's expiring in august. i don't know what i'll do then. i love the look too much to part with it; yet being the weird-thrifty person i am when it comes to odd things, sigh.
my sister is married. i almost can't quite believe it myself. sometimes when i sit quietly by myself (okay, these days it's really only when i'm studying), my thoughts drift to her and i'm shell-shocked for about six seconds again. we're getting old, aren't we? how do you know, jie; how did you take that serious step forward when you're barely twenty-seven.. this is your whole life. it begins now. i'm so happy for you, yet at the same time i wonder a whole lot of negative thoughts that i shouldn't.
before i left for singapore, nick asked me if i would cry and when i answered him no, he called me a heartless bitch. haha. guess what nick? i cried. i couldn't help it, lol; i really didn't plan to at all. the best part is that i didn't even have to get there to start crying! i started crying when i silently proofread her vows before the entire ceremony even began. and i cried the whole time both of them were saying their vows. i think my crying was caught on video too. -.-" super wtf.
i am constantly reminded of the same complications that my mommy has told her over and over again. she kept drilling it in until (i felt that) her whole life changed. i am her daughter too. will mine change in the same way? will i submit to her principles and theories? i don't know at all. these days, i keep wondering it more and more often. partially because my jie is married now. partially because my exams are coming up and i'm concentrating more often now. partially because it has always been at the back of my mind and recent events have showed me that it really does make a bit of sense. it really does help. i look at them and i wonder. i look at them and i think, oh god it's for at least a good thirty years to come. i look at them and i wonder if i'm losing it. i look at them and wonder if i've changed, in some strange way.
i am worried about not knowing what is the right path for me in the future.
one thing i'm real sure about right now: i am someone whose career is important to her. i want a 100% passing rate and i will have it.
it's expiring in august. i don't know what i'll do then. i love the look too much to part with it; yet being the weird-thrifty person i am when it comes to odd things, sigh.
my sister is married. i almost can't quite believe it myself. sometimes when i sit quietly by myself (okay, these days it's really only when i'm studying), my thoughts drift to her and i'm shell-shocked for about six seconds again. we're getting old, aren't we? how do you know, jie; how did you take that serious step forward when you're barely twenty-seven.. this is your whole life. it begins now. i'm so happy for you, yet at the same time i wonder a whole lot of negative thoughts that i shouldn't.
before i left for singapore, nick asked me if i would cry and when i answered him no, he called me a heartless bitch. haha. guess what nick? i cried. i couldn't help it, lol; i really didn't plan to at all. the best part is that i didn't even have to get there to start crying! i started crying when i silently proofread her vows before the entire ceremony even began. and i cried the whole time both of them were saying their vows. i think my crying was caught on video too. -.-" super wtf.
i am constantly reminded of the same complications that my mommy has told her over and over again. she kept drilling it in until (i felt that) her whole life changed. i am her daughter too. will mine change in the same way? will i submit to her principles and theories? i don't know at all. these days, i keep wondering it more and more often. partially because my jie is married now. partially because my exams are coming up and i'm concentrating more often now. partially because it has always been at the back of my mind and recent events have showed me that it really does make a bit of sense. it really does help. i look at them and i wonder. i look at them and i think, oh god it's for at least a good thirty years to come. i look at them and i wonder if i'm losing it. i look at them and wonder if i've changed, in some strange way.
i am worried about not knowing what is the right path for me in the future.
one thing i'm real sure about right now: i am someone whose career is important to her. i want a 100% passing rate and i will have it.